ivy was adamant she knew what love looked like - until she met simon minter. from a young age; music, tv, movies, they all influenced her to create an idealised version of love in her head that she yearned to experience one day. and she was positive she experienced that with him, everything appeared perfect and then it crumbled.

their breakup was mutual, but it equally broke them. though a similar age, they felt as though they were at different stages of their life. simon living it up with his best friends on youtube, moving into an incredible house, so busy he almost forgot to make time for ivy. he was enjoying himself too much.

ivy, at the time, wanted to keep things on the down low. she didn't like the idea of her own youtube channel, but she could appreciate her boyfriend's efforts and understood his love for it. but she wasn't ready to do anything so big with her life as of yet and this was their downfall.

she was in the year below simon, though going to different schools, they somehow found themselves friends with the same people. so when it came to weekends, they ended up hanging out together often, simon and jj both becoming her best friends. growing up with the two boys, jj successfully taking off from a young age, it amazed her, but she couldn't imagine doing anything similar.

simon was trapped in the friend zone with ivy for sometime, he placed himself in there through fearing her feelings weren't mutual, but when he moved to hull for a short amount of time for university - it completely broke her. because at the age of 16 and 17, the two found themselves stealing whatever alcohol they could find from their parents and ending the night in bed together, both of them losing their virginities to one another.

she feared never being able to see him again, regretting not informing him that from the moment she met him he was her high school crush and they'd end up finding themselves drifting apart. even though simon went travelling during his gap year, leaving ivy left with jj, the distance was futile and did not seem to effect her as much as it did like the thought of him going to university. but simon found himself back with jj and ivy in no time, realising university simply was not for him and both of them began to work for jj, helping with his merch.

jj knew that the two liked one another, simon told jj multiple times that he felt something for ivy, but couldn't bring himself to say anything in case it didn't benefit him whatsoever. and ivy told jj as soon as simon left for university that she liked him and that them sleeping together only intensified her feelings towards him. however, jj couldn't hold in the secrets anymore, one day finally blurting it out in front of the two, explaining they both like one another and to just "fucking do something about it" so they did.

but simon's new lifestyle suddenly became so demanding, beginning to grow quickly alongside his best friend, jj, and staying up until stupid hours gaming with his new friends, recording video's or editing. but ivy supported him every way, even if it meant neither of them speaking as often as usual because she was completely infatuated with him. they were young, naive and definitely in love with each other, they knew that, but simon simply became so obsessed with with his new career. ivy messed up her sleeping pattern for him, staying up with him to watch him play fifa, talking to these new guys online, she supported him in every way possible.

when simon and jj moved into the first sidemen house, it didn't appear too difficult for the couple, both able to drive. but ivy wanted to remain closer to home, simon insisted she moved with them, but she was not ready for a big move like that. she didn't have a similar lifestyle to them, but still remained helping simon and jj out as often as possible, she practically lived there even if she did not want to believe it.

however, when the four boys moved into the second sidemen house, things felt slightly different. the place was luxurious, ivy could not believe that the two boys she spent her teenage years with could find themselves in a place like this. the 24 hour security, the pool, the 6 bedrooms, it amazed her. however, watching the four boys constantly slumped in their rooms, up until stupid hours, not waking up until late in the afternoon, she could not handle a lifestyle similar, not at the time anyways. sadly, ivy received a lot of hate from fans with being simon's girlfriend, none of them could not understand why, but it made her fear social media in an era it was growing rapidly.

their relationship began to fall short, both parties completely aware of this, but could not bring themselves to accept it. simon was constantly busy, wanting to get video's out as often as possible or filming with the other boys. it was almost as though he forgot about ivy's existence and so did jj in a way, the only people who noticed were ethan and tobi. they did everything to try help the couple hold on to one another, but it was not what it used to be.

both of them enjoyed it when they were young, not knowing where any of the youtube business would take her friends and simon was confident that ivy would move in with him, but she could not bring herself to. they began to drift which they didn't think was possible for a relationship, but when they both perched themselves on the edge of his bed on that random day in 2018, they knew it was the end.

"just isn't working anymore, is it?" she mumbled under her breath, looking down at her knees.

"no, i don't think it is." he moved to lay a hand on her bouncing leg, "which is shit because i'm so in love with you." he sighed.

"i love you too." a tear slowly fell down her cheek as she brought her tear filled eyes to look at him, "you're just so busy and i guess it's understandable," she choked out, "but i wish you could make more time for me."

"i - i know." simon attempted to resist the tears urging to fall, "i do try."

"i know." she sighed, wiping away her drenched cheeks. she had waited for this moment to occur for a while; anticipating the downfall of her relationship but not wanting to let go, "i guess," she sobbed, "i guess we both just want different things in life."

"i guess so," he swiftly wiped away a tear, "i don't want it to end."

"i don't either," she cried, "but i think it needs to."

"no, i know." simon let out an elongated sigh, wrapping a long arm around ivy's shoulder to hold her under his wing one last time, "maybe," he hummed, "maybe i'll see you around, you could move to london? you never know?"

"i think that's just a fake fantasy, si." she cried into his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso, "i'm sorry."

"i'm sorry too." he pressed a kiss on her head, the sound of the sobs emerging from her chest led simon to let out soft cries. simon rested his head on ivy's, knowing that if ivy was to see him crying, it would make her weep even more. he wasn't the type to shed tears.

they sat like that for some time, crying to one another as they mourned their four year relationship coming to an end. they barely uttered a word to one another, struggling to do so as they choked on their own sobs and both their eyes burning from the heavy tears. "i best go." she sniffled, finally removing herself from his warm embrace, the loss of contact hurt.

"don't want you to." he huffed, gazing up at her with red eyes.

"i'm sorry," she shook her head, "just not the right time, is it?"

"no, i guess not." simon wiped his soaking wet skin, his eyes following ivy around his bedroom as she gathered her things. grasping her bag on her shoulder, she took in a shaky breath and stared at her now ex boyfriend in the eyes, "if you ever wanna talk, i'm here."

"i just think we need to distance, so we can get over this easily." she sighed, reaching for his door handle, "i love you."

"i love you too." he threw his body back onto his bed and watched as her body left his bedroom for possibly the last time ever. she quickly moved down the steps, patting around her eyes as she listened to many voices downstairs. gazing at the 6 boys gathered in the kitchen, her eyes burning from shedding tears for some time, she softly smiled at them.

"where's simon?" josh furrowed his eyebrows.

"upstairs." she choked out, sniffling every so often, "it's erm, it's been fun, you've all been amazing friends." ivy nodded slowly, biting her bottom lip.

"what do you mean?" tobi cocked his head, walking towards her to bring her into a hug.

"well, i just won't have any reason to see you guys again, but it's been good." she pulled herself away from tobi's embrace, racing to the front door to hold back the tears that insisted on falling, "bye."

"ivy, wait!" jj yelled and chased after her, "what's going on?"

turning on her heel, ivy stared jj straight in the face with her tear filled eyes, "what do you mean, what's going on?" she echoed, "is it not obvious?"

"but why?"

"things just don't work out do they jj?"

"you guys are good for each other, i don't understand." he furrowed his eyebrows.

"you're all having fun, living it up or whatever," she stared at the floor, "but you can't seem to make time for anything else."

"ivy i'm so sorry, you know we're busy." jj sighed.

"i know, i'm not blaming anyone, it's just best that i keep my distance." she choked out, opening the door and finally walked out to her car. throwing her head onto the steering wheel, she took one last glance at the house before her, knowing she would not have anything to do with that place anymore, leaving all the memories of him behind.

it completely broke her, her first love, her first everything, even one of her first best friends - someone who she could actually consider as a best friend. so driving away from him, the entire situation, even if she knew it was coming, she found herself in pieces in her car, trying to focus on the road, but her vision only blurred.

unlike most young relationships, ivy and simon were not toxic for one another. in fact, it was the opposite way round, they were head over heels for each other which only made the pain of the break up worse. they were in love, it just didn't go to plan like she dreamed of when she was a little girl. the only thing that led to their breakdown was the two different idea's of their future; instantly leading both of them to think about how they could have done things differently. because neither of them wanted things to end, it was just the right thing to do.

love arrived to her in the form of a cheerful, lanky blonde with the most contagious smile. she fell for him from a very young age and she refused to find anyone else attractive because she simply could not. simon enticed her, she could never understand why, but he did - he wasn't necessarily this popular guy that all the girls loved, he stood out from the rest. simon was capable of showing her love in ways she didn't think was possible, it was just a shame it all had to come to an end because life went in a different direction than they were expecting it to.

and simon was positive he had never met anyone as perfect as ivy. it started out as a little crush which only escalated as the years progressed. he could not look at any other girl in the way he looked at ivy, even when they were 'just friends' he was so hooked onto her. she was positive, friendly, outgoing, which made him fall even harder. but what amazed him more was her immense support and praise, although youtube started out as a bit of fun, she still stood by him.

they both idealised their relationship, it was an inevitable part of falling in love, viewing one another in an exaggerated light. but when that picture perfect image faded away, the less pleasant aspects rose to the surface. it was not a case of falling out of love, their bond just became loose, but it was heartbreaking to say the least.