her breathing fell heavy, the two of them walked towards simon's door as ivy wiped her palms along her dress. "come on." he grinned, slowly pulling down the door handle.

"okay." she took a deep breath in, following his lead inside, instantly noticing the flat and how nice it appeared, then quickly averted her attention to the guys sat around the sofa and chairs, chatting to one another. it startled her for a moment, remembering the day that she left all of them, the way they all gathered in the kitchen glaring at her struggling to choke out her words.

"ivy!" jj yelled, standing up excitedly. he ran towards her, bringing her into a warm hug, "how are you?" he pulled away, smiling at her.

"i'm good, you?" she nodded, grinning up at him. probably the first time jj showed her attention in years, even when they were friends he began to forget about her existence.

"yeah, i'm great." he moved away, the rest of the guys walking in her direction.

"hey, ivy." tobi beamed, opening his arms wide. she instantly fell into them, holding him tightly, the two swaying on the spot, "i missed you." he hummed, pulling away.

"i missed you too." she inhaled, trying to hold back the tears as she is surrounded by everyone who she considered family for years. "hey cal and cal." she laughed, the two boys bringing her into a cuddle at the same time.

after greeting everyone else, ivy's nerves already began to settle as she messaged sage and esme the address. simon led ivy towards the kitchen, showing her the copious amounts of alcohol sat on the side, "what would you like?" he asked.

"erm," her eyes flickered across the bottles, "just a vodka lemonade please." she shrugged her shoulders, resting her body against the counter as simon made them both a drink.

"you seemed nervous earlier," he turned to look at her whilst twisting the cap off the lemonade, "you alright now?"

simon could sense ivy's nerves and tension the entire time they were together. he did not realise how well he still knew her, watching her play with her rings or hair like she once did when they were together was a clear indication of her anxiousness. but he always wanted to please her, or at least tried to.

"oh, right," she nodded, swallowing harshly, "i'm fine."

"good." he smiled, passing her the drink, their fingertips grazing against each other for a brief moment, "are your friends still coming?"

"mhm, just sent them the address."

the two walked over to everyone else with drinks in hand, ethan instantly patting the seat available between him and tobi. steadily sitting in between the two boys, she offered them both an appreciative smile whilst her body seized up, unsure of how to sit or what to do. though surrounded by very familiar faces, the situation did not feel quite so familiar.

"so, how have things been?" jj smiled.

"yeah, good." she nodded, grinning back.

"you seem to be doing pretty well now," vik suggested, "you know with the social media stuff?"

"mhm," she took a quick sip of her drink, "yeah i guess you could say that." she giggled, her body began to feel warm from the alcohol. "what's going on with you guys?" she questioned, glancing around the room.

"well, vik has a girlfriend, i don't know if you knew that?" simon raised an eyebrow, the rest of the guys laughing.

"yeah, i saw the post." she grinned.

"and i'm single now." harry huffed.

"i am too." lux nodded awkwardly.

"i'm sorry to hear that guys," ivy sighed, acting as though she did not know all the in's and out's of their relationships and what was going on with them, "enough of the relationship shit." she cleared her throat, forcing a laugh.

"yeah, good idea." ethan chuckled, watching ivy take a large gulp of her drink. she watched as most of the guys have their own conversation, not paying enough attention to involve herself in it, "well this is nice." ethan smiled.

"yeah, it is isn't it?" tobi beamed.

"mhm." ivy nodded, "still feels a bit weird though." she whispered, looking down to her knees.

"yeah, it's weird for us seeing you again, but i'm glad you've decided to spend time with us."

"mhm." she sighed.

"what's up?" tobi nudged her.

"just," she mumbled, "being around simon, i've not seen him since we broke up."

"but you guys are over each other, right?" ethan questioned.

"yeah," she nodded, turning to face him, "this is just a friendly thing." she felt her phone ping on her lap, lifting it up to see a message from esme, "si - sorry, simon, sage and esme are here."

"your flatmates?" tobi questioned as simon got up from his seat to answer the door.

"yeah," she nodded, smiling, "feel like it'll make things a little less awkward. also, i keep fucking calling him si, i need to stop." the two boys beside her chuckled as she stood from the seat to run over to her two best friends stood in the door way, all eyes turned to them.

"hey, how did things go?" esme whispered as simon walked away.

"it was fine." ivy nodded, bringing the two girls into the room, "erm, this is sage and esme." all the boys waved and said their hello's two the two girls, ivy seating herself between ethan and tobi again whilst the other guys made room for sage and esme, some of them sitting on the floor to be 'gentlemen' - something most of them could never be.

music played through a speaker at a moderate level, allowing everyone to hear each other speak. ivy found herself tipsy and pouring herself another drink, feeling a lot calmer than she did earlier on. "you okay?" sage questioned, also pouring herself a drink.

"mhm, are you?" ivy responded, concentrating on trying not to spill alcohol everywhere.

"yeah, harry's not bad, you know?" she glanced over to the rest of the guys then back to ivy, "i've been chatting to him."

"i've noticed," ivy smirked, taking a sip of her drink, "he's recently broke up with his girlfriend i think, but he's great, a proper weirdo, but so are you." she giggled, turning her attention to the rest of the guys. "if i was you i'd go for it, it's worth a try. i'm surprised he's taking to you as well as he is doing, he usually hates new people."

"really? and do you really think i should go for it?" sage cocked her head.

"yeah! and i don't see why not, he's a laugh." ivy smiled.

"he's not one of those crackhead boys is he?" sage brought her drink up to her lips, furrowing her eyebrows at ivy.

ivy cackled at sage's question as she cocked her head, "crackhead in what way?" she smirked, "i'm kidding, i'm kidding, come on." she ushered her friend back to everyone else.

"ayo," jj yelled, "i'm gonna get us some shots!"

"fucking hell," ivy mumbled under her breath, "i bet he still can't handle his drink, can he?" her eyes followed jj stumble over to the kitchen.

tobi and ethan laughed in unison, shaking their heads, "no, he definitely can't."

"leave him to it," she shrugged, "we'll be taking him to bed soon." she glanced around the room, spotting simon looking at her in the corner of his eye and she swiftly turned away, gazing at sage and harry sat on the floor talking to one another and esme having a conversation with cal and lux.

"your friends seem to be getting along with everyone." ethan nudged ivy's arm.

"mhm," she nodded slowly, knowing that if her friends fall into anything with these guys, ivy may never be able to escape simon, "yeah, it's nice."

"well, it's a good thing right?" tobi raised his eyebrows as ivy threw herself backwards against eh cushions, "means you can't ghost us all again."

"shut up." she giggled, lightly hitting his arm, "you knew that i had to, but i'm sorry that i did that to you guys." she took a long sip of her drink, waiting for a response.

"nah, we understand," ethan sighed, "it was shitty, but we knew your reasoning, just made it easier for yourself." he shrugged.

"i come back and you've had a right transformation," she sits up, squeezing ethan's biceps in a joking manner, "i'm proud of you."

"aw, thanks ivy." his cheeks burn red as he brought her into his embrace, holding her tightly.

the group's eyes turned towards jj, glaring at him carrying shots over and trying not to spill any on the floor, josh and vik getting over to help him as they would be there forever with him only carrying two at a time. they all take their shots after finally receiving them, cringing at the vodka falling down their throats.

"so, how was today, with simon?" lux pulled up a chair beside the three.

"erm," she nodded, "went well, just had a little catch up i guess." she shrugged, "just a friends thing."

"oh, a friendly ting, yeah?" lux widened his eyes, "well it's nice to see you again anyways."

"nice to see you too," her cheeks began to hurt from the constant smiling, "it's been nice to see all of you to be fair, wasn't expecting to so soon after moving here."

they sat and spoke about where ivy lives and prices, speaking about what she lives near and some of the best places in london to drink. she thanked the boys for the suggestions, knowing that she would keep them in mind for the future.

"simon," she cleared her throat, "where's the bathroom?"

"oh, i'll show you." he stood up quickly from his seat, completely ignoring whatever josh was waffling in his ear. she smiled at him, following his lead, "you can use my bathroom." he turned around to look at her.

"thanks." she grinned, not realising how much the alcohol had hit her until she began walking. the two stumbled through his bedroom door, giggling to themselves.

"oh, fucking hell." he chuckled, shaking his head, "yeah, it's just there." he pointed. she walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her as he stood outside waiting for her.

"esme and sage seem to be getting along well with everyone." she shouted so he could be able to hear her.

"yeah," he leaned against the wall, "that's a good thing right?"

"erm," she finished using the bathroom and opened the door wide, standing in the doorway, "i guess." she shrugged.

he cocked his head, staring down at her with a puzzled expression, "why wouldn't it be?"

"i guess," she sighed, "just in case everything today didn't go well, but they'd still want to be friends with the guys and i wouldn't. i dunno."

"oh right," he gulped, "but has it gone to shit?"

"no, no," she shook her head, "i'm just saying that if it had then it wouldn't be ideal, but i think sage is kinda into harry." she wiggled her eyebrows.

"really?" simon raised his eyebrows, grinning. he knew that if ivy's friends got with harry then somehow means he would be closer to ivy again and they could have a connection similar to what they had all those years ago, "she should go for it."

"i told her to." she smirked. the two stood in silence for a moment, staring at one another, not knowing what to say.

"i've missed you, you know?" simon inhaled deeply.

"i've missed you too." she smiled softly, her head leaning against the doorframe.

"i kinda hope we can be friends again or something? if that's okay with you, we don't have to be, it's just a suggestion." he began to waffle.

"i don't see why not," she exhaled, their bodies inching closer, "it's been a bit of a weird week, obviously i never expected to see you, but i've missed our friendship, i've missed everyone to be fair."

he sighed, wrapping an arm around her as she rested her head on him, "come on." he cleared his throat. neither of them knew how to feel being back in one another's company again, something that could become a lot more frequent too. but they both knew to avoid a deep conversation that could spark unknown feelings. the two stumbled back into the kitchen, smiling at one another, causing ivy's two friends to stare at them both.

time ticked on, ivy found herself drunk along with the rest of the guys in the room and felt as though she should head home before she said something she could regret. glancing over to her two friends, she hinted at wanting to head home, but could tell that sage did not want to part from harry. "fucking hell, sage," ivy chuckled, "you'll see him again." she teased, watching both sage and harry's faces turn red.

"shut up!" sage shook her head, giggling as the three girls stood up. harry stood up beside sage, bringing her into his embrace, muttering something into her ear before pulling away.

after they all said their goodbyes to the guys, or better yet 'see you soon's', ivy gazed up at simon, "it's been a good day." he smiled softly.

"yeah, it has been, thanks for today." she looked down to the floor, her vision foggy yet still able to mess with her rings.

"stop that." he cleared his throat, taking her hand in his own, "it's been good to see you, hopefully i'll see you soon." he took a deep breath in.

"mhm," she bit her bottom lip, "we'll plan something." pulling her hand away from his grip, she wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing her face against his chest as everyone around her watched. for some bizarre reason, holding him like that brought tears to her eyes, the familiar scent and touch she thought she would never experience again.

"alright, see you soon." he hummed, holding her tightly as she resisted the urge to cry.

"yeah," she cleared her throat, "bye guys."

the three girls stumbled into their flat, giggling to themselves as they fell straight onto the sofa, out of breath from the walk up to their flat. "those guys are lovely, i can see why you were friends with them." esme sighed.

"yeah," ivy rested against the cushions, staring at the ceiling, "they're amazing, aren't they?"

"mhm." sage nodded, laying her head on ivy's shoulder.

"well of course you'd say that, sage," esme teased, "you fancy one of them. but yeah, even though i knew who they were, they're even better in person."

"shut up!" sage yelled, "all of them are lovely, even simon."

"yeah, i know he is," ivy chuckled, "we didn't exactly end it on a bad note."

esme sat up to glare at ivy, "but he didn't make much time for you."

"well," ivy turned to look at esme, "i know, but it was mutual and he was just having fun with it all."

"but he's busy all the time, right?" sage muttered, "i mean he streams and posts a lot on his own channels, never mind just the sidemen ones."

"i know," ivy took a deep breath in, "that's why we're just gonna be friends." they were right, he was just as busy as he was back when they were together. how could he possibly make time for her, even as friends?

"i love seeing you guys together though," esme whined, "like you seem so happy around him, even if he is your ex boyfriend."

"hmm." ivy sighed.

"honestly, if i was friends with you back then, i would've forced you guys to stay together." sage giggled, still resting on ivy whilst she sat up, running her finger tips through sage's jet black hair.

ivy forced a laugh in response, "you guys know why it didn't work out though."

"we know, but you guys seem so good together." esme smiled. ivy could feel a lump forming in her throat, instantly sitting up from her seat.

"well, we're just friends now." she stood up, her legs wobbling beneath her, "i'm off to bed." she choked out, racing towards her bedroom.

she threw herself onto the bed, struggling to breathe as a couple of tears fell from her eyes. ivy had no idea as to why she was crying, but being back with him, someone so familiar in an unfamiliar setting - his new flat - brought on so many confusing feelings. she was positive she missed him because of his friendship and his personality; nothing else. ivy was confident she was over him, yet she suddenly realised that sharing a friendship group with her ex boyfriend sounded like hell.