I feel something warm hit my face, so I grabbed the closest thing nearest to me and used it to cover my face.

"Can I have my arm back, please?" A deep voice called from behind me. Directly behind me. It took my brain to process my thoughts before my eyes snapped right open, yet I was staring right into an arm.

I fucked Mateo last night. I fucked Mateo last night, and he's still here. Right behind me. Asking for his arm back.

"Oh my god," My words were rushed as I quickly jumped out of the bed that we had shared, pulling the duvet with me to cover my body.

"What the-" Mateo quickly rose from the bed as he looked around in confusion before his eyes landed on me. Then down to the duvet that I had wrapped around my torso and then back up to my face. "Maliyah, what the fuck are you doing?"

My heart was drumming right against my ribs, and as I wasn't quite sure of the entire reason, I assumed it had something to do with Mateo lying stark naked on my bed with part of his come on splayed on his chest.

I wasn't quite sure why I was feeling like this. I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling, but it wasn't the same rebelling part of me that I was feeling yesterday. That 'rebelling' part of me which thought that sleeping with your teammate would be a good idea.

Obviously that part of me was still quite underdeveloped.

I cleared my throat and took an extra step back just to put as much distance as possible. "You should, uh-" I cleared my throat once again, "you should go. Like now."

Mateo's chest rose and then fell heavily, and I tried my best not to stare like a sex-deprived creep, but it was easier said than done. I was the one who had practically pounced on the man last night, yet here I was trying to keep myself from jumping his bones all over again.

"Oh." Is the only thing Mateo says before getting off the bed, and then he stretched, giving me a full beautiful view of his bum.

I watch as his muscles in his arms flex while the memories flicker right through me and instead of having a permanent place in my brain, it zaps right down between my legs. I shouldn't have slept with him last night.

But I don't regret it. Even though I shouldn't have done it. I don't regret it because all I remember is his large hands sliding around every inch, nook, and cranny of my body, and I remember how much I loved it. I think, I loved it to the point it became my addiction, even if it were for a couple of hours.

I quickly rip my eyes away from his back and to the floor in an attempt to at least stop looking at him so I wouldn't get any more provocative thoughts about him, but it didn't work. Because all I remembered is how those same fingers, that he was fisting through his messy bed hair, fit inside of me.

"Fuck my finger, Mal," Mateo whispered to me, "Squeeze yourself around my fucking finger. Use me like your fucking toy."

"So, this is it?" Mateo snaps me out of my thoughts, but he wasn't quick enough to keep me from clenching my thighs together.

"What?" I whispered, my voice smaller than I'd like it to be and I hoped that Mateo couldn't actually tell how sexually frustrated I was feeling right now.

Mateo picked up a shirt from the floor and put his arms through it and then turned to face me, a small, tiny smile playing on his lips.

"This." Mateo used his index finger to gesture between me and him in a way that shouldn't have been as hypnotising as it was, but it was anyway. "Is this it?"

Mateo stared at me for a couple of seconds, awaiting my answer, but I couldn't deal with it. And by 'it' I mean his dick that had already formed an erection so early in the morning. It brought back things from last night and I did not want him to watch me squirm right under his gaze.

So, I hugged the duvet closer to my body and I began to look for my clothes.

"Define what you mean by 'it'." I replied, pretending to not care that he was standing right across the room, possibly looking at me like I've lost my mind.

"I mean, is this the end? Is this just a onetime thing, or what?"

I bent over to pick up my shirt that was sitting near the window and I slid on. I turned around to face Mateo, who was staring back at me, his arms crossed over each other but his pants still weren't on.

I let out a sigh as my eyes searched around for my shorts that Mateo had tossed somewhere and replied to his comment.

"There was no beginning, Mateo." I commented while my eyes stayed glued to the floor, "This was just a one-time thing. Something of chance. We were both desperate and we needed someone."

"So, there won't be anything after this? No awkwardness, no kissing? We just go about our day like normal?"

Oh, no. This is not what I wanted. Sex with Mateo was nice and all, but I can't do relationships. I never have. It's something that I've tried my best to refrain from because it's a distraction. There is no way I can get into Cosa Nostra with my mind constantly on something else other than the mafia.

This is my life, something that I've worked hard towards, and I can't fuck it up. Not with him.

I finally found my shorts which were poking out from underneath my bed and I quickly picked it up and slid it on.

"There won't be anything after this." I confirmed, "There can't be anything after this." Mateo continued studying me with those auburn eyes of his. As if there was a message hidden behind them.

All of this is a distraction. The sex. Him standing there, may I add still naked, and studying me like he's never seen me before.

But he has. He's seen all of me last night and he isn't even trying to hide the fact that he did.

"I mean it, Mateo," I warned and walked over to my bed, placing the duvet back onto it, making a mental reminder to send them down to the dry cleaners.

"No more, yeah, whatever. I heard you."

"So could you put on your clothes and go to your room before anyone..." I trailed off, as his eyes met mine while a small smile tugged on the corners of his lips.

"Figures what we've been doing?" Mateo finishes my sentence.

"Yes...I mean, no! There is no we, not we, just you. I meant before anyone figures out what you've been doing."

Mateo lets out a chuckle that sends butterflies right down and in-between my legs. And although every single cell inside of me is screaming no, I can't help but allow myself to feel the way I'm feeling now.

But I'd be damned if I ever let him see that.

"Okay, fine." Mateo mumbled, while pulling up his shorts that I hadn't noticed he had already put on, "Only because you insisted."

"Only because it's the right thing to do in this situation." I fire back and Mateo's eyes quickly capture mine as his shirt glazes over his chest of abs that I'm already missing too much.

No. I do not miss them. My body, yes, I do admit, misses them. But I myself, no I do not miss his chest of rock-hard abs that I spent all night leaving the traces of my presence on. I refuse to.

I know he wants to say something. Something along the lines of 'I don't want this to be the end of whatever we have'. I know he wants to say that, but I refuse to allow him. I can't leave any gaps for him to ask a question like that, especially not when he's looking at me with eyes like his.

Eyes that seem to undress me with a simple bat of his lashes.

Mateo was about to say something, but I beat him right to it. "Is your friend going to apologise to Valentina?"

"Our friend," Mateo stresses out, taking a step in my direction. He plays with the mattress of my bed, and I watch as a tick forms in his jaw as he stares intently at the undressed bed.

He's thinking the same exact thing as me. Or what I was thinking, but nonetheless, he can't be feeling bad. He is not meant to be feeling sad about anything! Not about what we shared last night or this morning.

Yet somehow, he is, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't affected by that.

Mateo lets out a heavy sigh before meeting my gaze again, "I'm guessing so, but we never mentioned anything about it when you two went back to your rooms."

"What do you mean you never mentioned anything?" I replied, feeling a tad defensive of my friend.

Yeah, Mateo should've at least called Diego out for it, but the fact that it was never mentioned is annoying. It's almost as if the whole topic wasn't as important as it should be taken as, and this is great timing.

This is a way for me to be angry at him rather than attracted to him. Perfect way to avoid the situation.

"I said we—"

"That 'we' makes no difference," I say interjecting him, "You don't have to wait for someone to mention a situation to start discussing about it."

"Yes, I know—"

"No, you don't, because if you did you would've defended your teammate, Mateo."

His smile has now completely disappeared, and I watch as Mateo glares right through me, trying to find any ounce of emotion in me, but I've made sure he won't. I keep my emotions behind a wall with a locked door and the key thrown away into the bottom of the ocean. He will never be able to read me.

Because he if he was able to, I'd become a mess right under him. Just like I was last night.

After a couple moments of deafening silence, I clear my throat and I walk around Mateo, ignoring the way the hairs of my skin stick up as I do so, and towards the door, pulling the handle of the door.

"I think you should go now," I whisper, not bringing the courage to look him in the eye.

No. No. No. Maliyah, come on! I can't even look him in the eye. Where and what has happened to the woman I spent years growing before I had become acquainted with Mateo. Gone and burned to dust she was.

But I wouldn't admit defeat that easily, I refuse to. I've been refusing a lot of things lately, but my own self pride? No, I will never let that crumble right beneath my feet.

It feels as if it takes forever for my eyes to leave the marble of the floor to meet the darkness of Mateo's eyes and it feels as if I'm being pulled into the trance that he had managed to capture me in last night. Now, I can't fight the urge to pull away.

Mateo takes a step. One. Two. Three, four and five. It takes Mateo five steps to reach me, and I fight the very strong urge to smell him, because he's right by me. Close enough to feel as if the hairs of my arm are touching his.

"I'm sorry," Mateo whispers and I draw in a harsh breath, "I was in the wrong. I still am because I haven't corrected it. And I will." A smile tugs on the corners of his lips but he refuses to let it show. "And thank you for last night, Mal. I appreciate it."

I find myself fumbling for words, but I thankfully managed to find them anyway. "You're welcome."

My voice is raspy and I'm pretty sure I'm stinking of arousal, but I could care less. Which is the whole problem. I could care less. But I don't and I hate that.

"See you at The Trails," Mateo says as he finally walks out of my room.

"Right. You too."

And I slam the door with my back resting against the door and I wonder to myself: What the hell am I going to do?

~

[A/N: It's been a while guys but I am finally sort of back. I've come back to meet my stories surpassing 70k! Thank you all for the unconditional support as obviously, I would be nowhere without you guys! I thought this would be quite a good filler chapter as it kind of fills in necessary parts. Shorter but sweet. Please be patient as I'm trying my hardest to keep up right now! Also if you guys are wondering why I keep putting (0.5), it's because I can't go through and add a new chapter else I'd have to change the number of chapters on all of the chapters! And this is nowhere near done so I'd rather not do that just yet until I'm near done! Thank you all for the unconditional support and I hope you are all keeping safe!] 29/05/22