Don't Let Me Fall

V A L E R I U S ' P O V :

"Val!" Katerina shrieks. "I swear to God if you let me fall off this thing—"

"You won't fall."

She tugs harder around my waist, unbelieving. The feeling of her holding me makes something rise in my stomach.

"I so hate you right now!" She whispers in my ear, breathlessly.

"Open your eyes, bellissima."

"Fuck you."

I roll my eyes. "I've got you, Katerina. You won't fall. Just look." I think eventually she does because she gets quiet.

The wind blows through our hair, it's slightly chilled. The sun is starting to set. A pink and orange hue shines off the water. Green trees shiver with the wind. We pass by them in a flash.

I rev the engine of my motorcycle. Thriving off the feeling of the moment.

The road goes on for what seems like too short of time before we stop in front of Katerina's home. She gets off the bike with a solid huff and brushes off her clothes.

I put the kickstand down and take my helmet off of her head. Her dreamy, blue eyes give me a look so beautiful. I can't look away. I'm stuck, finding myself in her eyes.

"Was it as terrible as you thought?"

"Yes."

"Liar."

I force back my smile that wants to peak through. She's so difficult. It just makes me want her more, I figure she knows what she's doing to me.

"Fine." She huffs, the corner of her lips tipping upwards. "It was. . . alright."

"I'll take it."

"Well..," she cleared her throat. "Goodbye then."

"Goodbye, Katerina." I say quieter than before.

She turns to go but only makes it three steps before she stops in her tracks. It takes a second for her to whip back around quickly and grab my shoulders. She lifts herself up onto her toes and kisses my cheek. I grab her waist but she pulls away, looking to the floor. If I hadn't held onto her, she probably would have ran away.

My heart beats a million miles a second.

"Thank you for today." She won't let me see her blush but I catch hints of it when she looks off into the distance.

She goes to turn away again but I pull her back, lifting her chin up to me. Our lips are centimeters apart, close to closing in on each other.

I want her. I want to kiss her, fuck her, breathe her in. I want all of her.

"Stop acting like you hate me, bellissima." Her breath is on my lips. "Let me kiss you." Please.

"But then I'd let you win." She retorts breathlessly.

"Oh, darling, I've already won."

"Fuck yo—" I cut her off by smashing her lips with enough passion to kill.

I go in deeper when I feel her kissing me back. My lower stomach starts to twist, ache almost. My left hand slides lower on her waist, my right hand cups her cheek.

I thrive for her lips. Her taste. I dip into the kiss deeper, stronger than before.

My patience lasted for too long.

She pulls away slightly. "V..," She whispers, the lust is evident. My dick twitches, I breath in to control myself.

I push my nose against the side of hers and my eyes fall shut.

I don't want to stop.

"Use that tone with me again and I'll never let you walk away." I breathe out.

She lets out a breathy sound, one that makes herself shiver. I go to kiss her again but she puts her hand up to stop me and looks down. I don't push her to keep going.

"I- I think I'm gonna go inside.."

I want to groan and push her against the wall. I want her to let me hear every sound her mouth can make. I want to fuck her in every room she has. I want to tell her she isn't going anywhere.

"This isn't over, Katerina." I whisper against her lips. I leave her with a tease of my lips touching hers and walk away.

I know now that with only one taste of her, I'll never be able to have a different woman. I'll only ever want her.

• • •

"That's what I'm talking about." Rosetta says and laughs loudly, it sounds like a cackle. Her fiancé pulls her close with a deep chuckle.

I shift in my seat. This is the first time I'm meeting Katerina's friends. We've been together for a month and a half now. Katerina tells people it's only been three weeks because that's when she agreed to a relationship. I say that's an unnecessary use of logistics. She's been mine since the first day I met her.

I'm not very good with people. Some have been known to say.

My eyes trail down the side of Katerina's face, to the exposed skin of her neck, to the curve of her breast and all the way down to her feet. Her lips move while she talks but it's all blurred to me.

Katerina talks to her best friend, Rossetta and her fiancé Tito. This is my first meeting with them and I want to make a good impression.

They mean something to Katerina so I will be on my best behavior, which isn't much different than my worst behavior.

"I have something for you Kat," Rosetta smiles eagerly. Her and her husband share an excited look too. "I'd love to do it alone," she passes me a short, scrutinizing gaze. "But I can't wait any longer!"

Passive aggressive much?

She hands Katerina a gift. A small black box, rectangular.

"Please tell me it's not going to jump out an scare me." Katerina jokes with a smile lighting up her face.

So beautiful.

"No!" Rosetta snorts. "You're ridiculous."

"Just precautions." Katerina opens the box and gasps at the insides. The box drops to the ground and my interest peaks. Katerina's hands cover her mouth in shock, her eyes bellowing with tears. I hope it's good tears or else I'll have to kill Katerina's friends. "No..," she whispers breathlessly.

Rosetta nods, tears pooling in her eyes too. Her husband holds her hand tightly. "Yes," her voice is shaky.

They clash into each other in a tight hug. Katerina pulls back for a moment. "You're pregnant?" The question is rhetorical but Rosetta still replies with a nod to her head. "I'm going to be an aunt!?" An excited smile takes over her features.

I know she doesn't mean literal. Katerina is an only child, she told me herself. I've learned that some people like to pretend they're siblings with their best friends. I still haven't figured out the reason.

"Of course!" Rosetta smiles, furiously wiping her tears. "Hormones." She laughs and Katerina does too.

"Oh, Rosetta!" Katerina smiles adoringly. "I'm so happy for you." Her hands clasp Rosetta's then Tito's. "Both of you. How far along?"

"Five months."

"Five months!?" Katerina shrieks. "And you didn't tell me! How didn't I know!?"

"We wanted to be sure. After last time.. we just didn't know."

A sad smile pulls both of their lips.

"I'm so happy for you." Katerina whispers, sniffling back her tears.

I pull my eyes away from her hand set over Tito's. I don't have a reason to be jealous but still for some reason I want to bash his face in.

"We think it's a boy. We don't want to find out until the birth, though."

"Mio Dio! I can't believe this is actually happening! You've always wanted to be a mamma."

Rosetta can't hold back a cry while her husband rubs her shoulders.

Rosetta sniffles. "Just wait until you have kids too!" She laughs. Something swells in my gut. Kids.

The thought of murder flashes through my head when I (for a moment) imagine Katerina married off to another man. Imagining her having children with someone who isn't me makes my throat itch.

"I can't even imagine!" Katerina's eyes turn soft. "It feels like it would be years away."

"When you meet the right person. . . you'll know."

I somehow feel like her respond was a not-so-subtle jab towards me.

Later that evening, I take Katerina home. The wind blows softly with the car window being down. Light music is playing.

I focus my eyes to Katerina staring out the window, deep in thought.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I—," she sighs. She doesn't look me in the eyes when she asks, "Do you want kids?"

I stay silent for a minute, looking to the dark sky. I think about what my childhood was like. What it's like to grow up in a world designed to tear you apart.

"No."

I can feel Katerina stare at the side of my face. Those fucking blue eyes burn a hole through me.

"Would you ever change your mind? Like.. if you found the right person?"

I know she wants me to say yes. I've promised to give her anything she wants, she can take anything from me. There is only one thing I refuse. I can't to bring a child into my world. I can't put an innocent child into a life like mine.

"No. I'd never change my mind."

I've always been set on my decision. Though, the world always seems to hand me what I don't want.

Give me what I don't ask for.

• • •