Princess Ellie

V A L E R I U S ' S P O V :

I stand here in a place I'd never thought I'd ever step foot in again.

A kids playground.

One with climbing bars and slides and a rock wall. The asphalt takes me back to when I was Eleonora's age. I hated play time. I was the loser who didn't have enough coordination to play in the ball game with the other kids. My papà quickly knocked some sense into me when he found out kids were picking on me.

I quickly learned that being an Armani meant I had to be vicious.

There was one hell of a talking to and a lot of practice fighting. I'd stay up late at night to practice what I'd say to them, the bullies. Within a week I had them all scared of me. It was one of the first times I thought my papà was proud of me.

Then, I realized I loved the thrill of the power. People fearing you, avoiding you because they're just that scared. The exhilaration that came from it all was something unmatched.

"When is this thing starting?" Marcello asks me in Italian. I roll my eyes.

"If I knew you were going to complain this much, I would have left you at home." I hiss back at him in Italian, the lady next to me clutches her purse tighter. I mentally roll my eyes.

We live in Italy but this is an Italian-American school. Italian is my mother-tongue but when speaking American you have more options to describe things. What they call a "play on words." Like how I can call Marcello a 'fucking dickwad' and have it actually make sense to anyone else speaking American. It's like magic.

The woman is clearly American and can only pick up my tone, not my words. Hence the purse clutching and the stare.

"When is this supposed to start?" Fabio asks me after his conversation with papà ends.

I audibly groan. Fucking dickwads.

Before I could snap back at him, Marcello shouts. "Oh! Oh there, look! Here they come!" His finger waves in my face and I slap it away, immediately directing my attention to the concrete stairs that has piles of kids waking down in ridiculous costumes.

"Where's Eleonora?" Marcello chirps up quickly.

"These kids look like they could be in high school and you're asking where your five-year-old nipote is?" Fabio shakes his head.

"These are the kids that are ten. Upper primary school. They're going in oldest to youngest." I tell them since they can't read a room and the groan.

"What is he doing?" I hear Enzo mumbles to us, referring to our papà who had his camera out taking photos of kids he doesn't know with a smile on his face. "He knows none of these kids are Eleonora.. right?"

"Oh, just let the old man live." Fabio grumbles.

I ready my attention back to the kids coming down the stairs. I will for the line to go faster.

Yes, I did see Ellie this morning with her outfit on but I haven't seen her with her group of friends. I have my phone out and ready to take pictures of her.

"What is Halloween again?" Marcello questions.

"An American holiday where kids dress up and hustle adults for candy." Savino replies.

Dozing off into space before realizing Ellie's class is coming down. I slap the person next to me on the chest and I hear Marcello let out a hiss.

"Shut up. Look!" I point to the steps where Ellie and her three friends are walking down.

Summer is walking down with one of those twin boys I met a few weeks ago and Ellie is next to the other. The four went as princesses and princes and from what I hear it was mostly Summers and Ellie's idea but the little idiots agreed.

I couldn't let my princess go in anything short of what she deserves so I had custom dresses and suits made for them. Nothing too dramatic but just dramatic enough that Ellie would be the star.

"Was velvet really necessary for a Halloween parade?" Enzo asks with his eyebrow raised, damn well it was in fact necessary. I didn't have to answer his question for him to know the answer.

I watch some kid dressed up as french fries walk passed before I snap pictures of Ellie. Her smile is wide, she waves at all of us with the most excitement I've seen out of her in awhile.

Her big, blue eyes correspond with her light blue velvet dress. Her hair is the best I could get it, it's in a braid that isn't cute enough for her dress but Ellie told me she loves it nonetheless. You'd think I would have gotten better at braiding by now.

My heart swells as I smile back and take as many pictures as I can. I want to savor this moment forever. Her smile was worth all of the trials and errors we had this morning with the hairbrush and blush and eyeshadow. . . and the glitter and the headband. It was not an easy task.

My Ellie is beautiful.

The four walk by. I know that I'll see her in a moment because the kids were allowed to leave after this but in this moment, I want to grab her and give her the biggest hug. I want to tell her how beautiful she looks again but I'll get the chance later.

I watch as she passes her nonno, she smiles wide for his camera. Papà is ready to snap as many pictures as he can. His ever giving love for his first grandchild was something I wasn't expecting.

"Who are the two boys with her?" Enzo was the first to ask.

"They sit at the same table in school." I point out. My eyes glaze over their matching costumes. The one twin wearing a light blue velvet tux with a black undershirt to match Ellie and the other wearing one in pink to match Summer.

"Boys." Enzo utters like it's a bad word.

"I wasn't too happy either. Till I realized the two are stupid. They just follow the girls around like lost little puppies. It's pathetic."

"They're also five, Enzo." Fabio points out which earns him a smack on the head.

"Don't correct me, fratellino." Enzo taunts and Fabio winces back.

Soon enough, the short parade is over and the kids run out to their families. My eyes never leave Ellie's as she runs towards me with a bright glint in her eyes. Her arms are open wide for me to catch. She crashes into my arms with a thud. I squeeze her tightly, lifting her body into the air while I hold her. Ellie tucks her head into my shoulder and I let my head rest on hers. I take in a deep breath to feel the comfort of her.

"You look so beautiful, principessa. Ti amo piccola." I love you little one. I say.

I can feel her sneakers dangling, I smile. She was mad I wouldn't let her wear her sandals but, I knew she'd complain about her feet hurting.

I slowly let her down and kneel to her height. "Te amo, papà." I love you papà. She tells me back.

She quickly hugs me again and my cold, stone heart melts. I know she's speaking Italian now, and getting better at it every day. Still, every time I hear her speak it, my heart seems to explode just a little more. She's so smart.

I kiss the top of her head repeatedly, then let her say hello to her zios and her nonno.

"Look, nonno! I'm a princess!" My papà laughs and kisses Ellie's cheek.

"Yes you are! You're such a beautiful princess!" He compliments her. I watch their interaction.

A mafia princess.

While Ellie talks to everyone, her friends and their parents walk up to me and I mentally prepare myself to be one of those put together parents who talk to other parents.

Three.. two.. one. Go.

"Hi, Valerius!" Sheila greets and I smile back, shaking her hand and then her wife's. I say hello to Summer and the other boys I keep getting mixed up and they go to say hi to Ellie.

"Nice to see you again!" Darla greets me, the twins mom. Her husband Lorenzo stands behind her. I greet her back.

"The kids look beautiful, I want to thank you again for their costumes. Are you sure I can't pay you the money?" Sheila said.

That dress is probably worth their house.

"No, it was my gift. Don't worry about it."

"You're too kind." Serena, Shelia's wife, said.

Only for my daughter.

I just nod my head.

"So where's Eleonora's mom? Or dad?" My gaze snapped towards Darla who looked genuine but the question raises the hairs on my arm.

The question brings me back to the fact that I'm doing this without her. I'm doing this whole parent thing without the woman I love. She can't see Ellie, she can't see how beautiful she looks and how smart and talented she is.

"Her mamma is gone." I tell them. I say it quiet enough to not let Ellie hear me. I don't want to ruin her mood.

A look of horror strikes Darla's face while her husband seems to stare off in space. Sheila and Serena just looks somewhat upset at Darla.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Really." Darla utters, completely shocked. "I shouldn't have said anything!"

They act like a child's parent can't die young.

"It's fine." I speak to refrain from uttering the few choice words I had picked out in my mind.

"Papà?" I look down to the innocent face pulling at my dress pants.

"Sí, baby?"

"Home?" She asks with her finger tapping her tooth, maybe out of nerves.

I pick her finger out of her mouth and brush her hair back. "We'll go home." A satisfying grin pops up on Ellie's face.

I turn and say goodbye to the other parents and we leave quickly after Ellie parts ways with her friends. She even makes it a priority to say goodbye to Angelo's little shit, Tommy. He is dressed as a fucking hot dog like the dick he is. I pull Ellie away after I tell him his costume is lame.

My papà drives home so I can stay in the back with Ellie. My family is coming back to my house anyways. Mamma is too sick to come. Apparently she caught a cold.

• • •

"Higher!"

Ellie yells as Marcello tosses her back into the air.

"Guardala! Lei cade e io ti uccido." Watch her, She falls and I kill you. I chide Marcello but he ignores me like always.

"Watch out, papà bear is on the move." Fabio loudly whispers so I'd hear him and I flick his head.

"Stai zitto." Shut up. I grumble at him.

My eyes don't leave Marcello and Ellie. I'm waiting for him to drop her and then I'll have to kill him for doing so. My phone pings and my eyes follow the noise.

Mamma

• Ciao piccolo! I miss you 😘 Come home soon, your mamma misses you!!!

I'm tempted not to respond. I haven't, for the whole weekend, I've ignored her. She has no respect for my daughter and I still don't know how to go about that. Against my will, I respond so she's gets the message.

Mamma

I'm with my daughter. I don't have time to go back to the house. I'm already home . If you want to see me you need to see my daughter too.

I don't get a response back and for some reason, a part of me just doesn't care.

Over the past few weeks I've actually got to see how clingy mamma is. To all of us but especially to me, her eldest son. It's odd and I don't think I ever knew it made me uncomfortable until I really thought about it.

But that's just her way of showing her love. She's always been protective.

"Val," papà calls to me and I turn my attention to him. "I just got off the phone with your nonna." He pauses and I start to worry. Is something wrong? "Your bisnonna has been worrying that you haven't called in awhile. They decided to move their trip up. Instead of arriving late December, They'll be in late November."

A month. A month early.

"Wait but they don't know about Ellie." Fabio says like it isn't obvious.

"Yes, and I believe that why Valerius is a bit worried right now."

"A bit?" Enzo retorts sarcastically.

A good portion of my family is what you can call traditionalists. Have an arranged marriage, have children and then build your empire even greater.

I happened to follow none of those rules.

Regardless, we are family, blood connects us all. We never give up on each other no matter how much one has messed up. I'm sure they will love my Ellie but it won't come without criticism. I just hope they react better than mamma has.

How do I tell them? How do you tell your family you had a lost child that you just recently discovered?

"I think you broke him." Savino jokes as he waves his hand in front of my face, only for me to slap it away.

"Fuck off." I mumble.

"It speaks!" Fabio retorts with a stupid smile.

Giggles come my way with Marcello holding Ellie upside down and gently dropping her into my lap to which I catch her. I flip her the right way around and her giggles slow down.

I can see it when her head drops to my chest and her eyes flutter. It's an hour passed her nap time and she's getting tired.

I brush her hair with my fingers gently rocking her while we sit in the chair outside. A cold breeze blows past us and Ellie snuggles closer to me.

"It's passed your nap time, Ellie." I speak softly to her, knowing she is going to protest.

"Nooo. . ." She whines slightly and forces her droopy eyes to look at me.

"You're tired."

"Nooo. . . papà, I'm not." She tries to convince me. She clutches onto my shirt, fighting tears.

I brush my thumb on her cheek and place a kiss to her forehead. "You can come back in a little, you'll be so awake that you can play with zio Mar for as long as you want. Then we'll eat dinner—"

"Noooo!" She whispers into my chest. "No, papà!"

"And we'll play whatever you want. We'll even eat candy to celebrate the American Halloween."

"N-No. . ." Ellie's voice brakes. Her tears fall onto my shirt. This is my sign, knowing that she's cranky, needing a nap as soon as possible.

What's wrong? Savino mouths to me.

"She's tired." I say back in a whisper and Ellie protests into my shirt, shaking her head no over and over again.

My hand lays over the top of her head. I get up and Ellie cries into my shoulder. I try my best not to give into her cries.

"Say goodnight to your zios. They'll see you in a little."

Each of my brothers kiss her head and says goodnight. Her nonno places kisses all over her cheeks which gets her to crack a small smile.

"Goodnight, our little princess." Papà smiles at her.

We make our way inside and Ellie sniffles, cuddling up to me. "Can I still be princess?" She asks with teary eyes.

"Yes, you can still wear your princess gown." She seems to relax at this.

As we walk upstairs, my mind seems to wonder.

What the hell do I do about my extended family?

• • •