Little Shit

V A L E R I U S ' P O V :

"Pancakes with papà?" My eyebrows furrow.

"Mrs. Williams said to give it to you!" Ellie smiles. I hold the paper in my hand. "Everyone's papàs are coming! Or other people if you don't have a papà." She shrugs, looking at me with those doe-eyes.

"And you want me to go with you to school for this?" I ask, peaking at her from above the paper. Ellie nods. "Then I'll be there."

She walks away jumping for joy and I can't hold back my smile.

• • •

"Valerius!" I turn around when I hear my name being called.

"Jesus." I grumble. "What are you doing here?"

"You sound so happy to see me!" Angelo slaps my back with a smile.

That shit head.

"He's in Ellie's year?" I ask Angelo, grumble is more like it though.

"Well they're the same age, aren't they?"

Shit. I roll my eyes. Just another thing I have to worry about now.. Angelo's dumbass kid.

That little shit.

I watch Ellie talk to her three friends as they all pile into the cafeteria. I've come here for Ellie's lunch or breakfast is what they called it on the paper. The school is hosting an event for all of the dads, they did moms just before. I found out after it happened, Ellie didn't want to tell me about it because she thought I'd be sad. We come during lunch and we eat with our kids for bonding or whatever.

I notice Ellie catches sight of me when her eyes light up. She waves to me with a big smile. Pride flows throughout me.

My girl.

The teacher instructs the kids to find their parents and they do. Ellie runs to me, and when she finds me, I pick her up and kiss her cheek. Her legs wrap around my torso.

"How has your day been, baby?"

"Good!" She cheers with a toothy smile, only, one of her teeth on the bottom is missing. Her first tooth gone. She was so excited because she said it meant she's a big girl now. I was surprised, I didn't think she could lose a tooth so young. She even wanted to yank it out herself. "You came!" She squeezes me tighter.

"Of course I did, piccolina! I wouldn't miss a chance to spend time with you."

Her smile only gets wider.

We sit down and I notice her friends are at the same table as us. Summer and her mom Sheila sit across from us with the twins and their dad, Lorenzo I believe. Angelo sits next to me with his son. Ellie and Tommy are between us. I go to switch her to my other side so the little shit doesn't touch her but, there's no room on the other side, someone already sat down.

Damnit. One wrong move and I'll punt this kid.

Plates of flimsy looking pancakes are sat in the middle of each table and we all get our own.

"Papà," I turn to Ellie. "We made cards today!"

"Really? Let me see."

I start cutting her pancake into small pieces.

Ellie pulls out a card of pink construction paper. It has a big heart drawn in purple on the front. I open it and a soft smile reaches my face.

"I Love You Papà!" Is written in big sloppy letters on the inside of the card. A picture of Ellie and me is drawn on the inside too, me blue and her red. My bet is that res was the closest she could get to pink.

I smile knowing this is the best Ellie has ever written before. It's much neater than before. She's doing so well. She's a quick learner.

"I love you too, Ellie." I kiss the crown of her head. Ellie looks up and smiles. "Thank you so much."

"You didn't make me a card?" Angelo asks his son, offended.

"No." Tommy shrugs with food shoveled into his mouth.

"Little shit." Angelo mumbles and steals a pancake off of Tommy's plate.

I roll my eyes at the two and turn back to my daughter.

"Winter, where is your papà?" Ellie asked innocently.

"I don't have a papà." Winter shrugs.

"Like how my mamma is gone?" Ellie's head tilts and she looked at me for a moment.

"No, Ellie. It's a little different then that. Summer has two mammas." I tell her.

I hand Ellie her fork, trying to silently tell her to stop talking so I don't have to have this conversation in public.

Ellie blinks at me. "Oh. Are they boyfriend and girlfriend?" I hear Sheila laugh a little.

I looks from Ellie to Sheila awkwardly. I give Sheila a sympathetic smile. I really wish I wasn't explaining lesbianism to my kid in the middle of an elementary school cafeteria.

"No, they're wives. They married each other. Two girls." I tell Ellie as blunt as I can be.

"Does that mean I can marry a girl?" Ellie's head tilts curiously, like a little puppy.

I cringe if thinking of my Ellie marrying anyone. I don't want her to grow up. She's only allowed to stay my little baby.

"Yes, if you want."

"So I can marry Winter?" Summer's head perks up.

"My mama did say that you should marry your best friend." Summer states with a firm nod.

I don't like this conversation. Marriage shouldn't happen till Ellie is eighty and I'm cold and dead.

"Well first you have to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and then once you love each other.. a lot. You can get married." I sip my water, thinking that this is the end of the conversation.

"Well I already have a boyfriend."

I choke on my water.

What?

"No you don't." I wipe my mouth with a napkin.

"Yes I do." Her eyebrows pinch together like I'm crazy for suggesting she doesn't.

"You're five, all you need is papà. No girlfriend and certainly no boyfriends. Anything a five-year-old can do, papà can do for you."

"Papà doesn't pick me flowers." Ellie shoves a part of her pancake in her mouth.

Flowers? Does she mean those weeds?

"Papà can bring you flowers home everyday of that's what you want."

"Really?" She smiles, a glint hitting her eye.

"Of course, piccolina." I send her a sweet smile.

Maybe I should step it up in the dad department.

"Now." I give her a pointed look. "Who is this boyfriend, eh?"

Ellie turns her head to the right and makes direct eye contact with Tommy. Tommy looks up to me with a nervous smile. He has a booger in his nose and syrup on his face.

Anglo snorts and my eyes narrow in on his son.

This little shit.

• • •

"I said no." I repeat myself to Ellie again. Agitation for the conversation has only grown deeper.

"Why not, papà!" Ellie whines.

"Because I'm your papà and I said so." Did I really just use that excuse?

After we take our shoes off, I lead Ellie into the kitchen to get a snack but I pause when I see my brothers in there. All four. All four of them.

I set Ellie on the counter. I push past my brothers to get into the fridge.

"Papà that's no fair." Ellie crossed her hands over her chest. I set her juice box next to her.

She really is going to fight with me over a booger-eating, shit head? I can't believe this!

"Uh. Val, what are you doing to our sweet baby!" Fabio pops off of the counter and throws his water in the garbage. "Ellie is your papà arguing with you?" Fabio coos to her.

"What are you idiots even doing here?" I grunt.

"Doesn't matter." Fabio was quick to snap back.

"The house is out of food and we begged Enzo to drive us here." Marcello speaks with a mouth full. "Hey.. are you out of those really good bread things— what were they called?" He mumbles, digging through my freezer.

"Val, why is our girl upset?" Fabio presses on.

I hand Ellie some strawberries but she pushes them away and pouts.

"What happened, arachide?" Enzo rubs her head. Ellie flood back into his touch with teary eyes.

Don't fold, Valerius. Do not give in.

"Papà said I can't have one!"

"Have one of what? I will get you want you want." Enzo declares and I give him a look. He won't be agreeing to that once he's heard what she has to say. I know that for sure.

"Papà says I can't have a boyfriend no more!"

Enzo's jaw snaps shut. My brothers all stare at her.

"Boyfriend?" Enzo chokes out. This is the most shocked I think I've ever seen him. Barely anyone can catch him off guard.

"Yes! We want to be married but papà says no!" She cries.

There's a moment of silence before all my brothers start talking at once. All of them protest Ellie's want for a relationship. Savino stays quiet.

"You have us! What do you need a boyfriend for?" Fabio laughs in shock.

"Tommy picks me flowers and be's my parter. He made me lots pictures." Ellie retorts back quickly.

"Why aren't you buying her flowers and making her pictures?" Fabio looks at me accusingly.

"Tommy." Enzo spits out like the venom that shit's name is.

"How the fuck was I supposed to know she wanted flowers!" I shout back.

"Ellie. You don't need any boys." Marcello whispers to her, crouching down to her level. "They all stink." She crinkles her nose and moves away from him.

"Nuh-uh." Ellie argues.

"Who the fuck names their kid Tommy?" Enzo continues with an angry look on his face.

"Angelo Rossi."

"Angelo Rossi?" They all gasp in sync. Their mouths are open in shock or disgust, probably both.

Angelo was my friend in high-school but everyone knows that he was a trouble maker. Whether it was girls or screaming or fighting, he was always acting out in some way.

"He has a child?" Fabio gapes at me.

"Two."

"Who let that bastard reproduce!?" Enzo almost gags on his words.

"Ellie. No boys. You're papà is right." Fabio bends down to her level and looks her straight in the eyes.

"No." She snaps back. Lip jutted out, arms crossed tightly over her chest.

Little devil.

"I mean.. they are just five. What are they g-going to do, hold hands? Hug if they're feeling scandalous?" Savino reasons. "They're not going to kiss or— they don't even know what that is!"

"Tommy kiss me." Ellie sits up straighter, wearing a triumphant look on her face.

"What." I deadpan immediately. The pit in my stomach drops to the floor.

"Excuse me?" Enzo snaps his head towards Ellie.

"This is gonna be good." Marcello laughs.

"Yeah-huh." Ellie nods.

"Where, Ellie. Where did that little shit touch you? I need to know which body part of his to cut off." I reply quickly but she shakes her head.

"Not telling."

"She's lying! Right?" Fabio looks at me but he doesn't sound too confident.

"Ellie—"

"Not. Telling."

• • •

"Ai! Ciao, Eleonora!" Bisnonna smiles.

"Nana!" Ellie climbs over to her and sits in her lap with a pout.

I sit down in the living room of my parents house. I lean back on the chair. Our previous conversation got no where. Ellie won't budge and she just ended up with tears in her eyes from frustration. I stopped then. That doesn't mean I've changed my mind though. I'm still very against this boyfriend idea.

Bisnonna pinches Ellie's cheek. "Why is there a pout on your pretty little face, my love?" She adjusts Ellie in her lap.

Ellie shoves her face into bisnonna's chest. My bisnonna rubs her head gently and Ellie sniffles quietly into her chest. Ellie shakes her head.

Bisnonna gives me a deadly look. She raises a singular brow. Shit.

"She won't listen." Is all I tell her.

"Are you upsetting my only great-great grandchild?" Bisnonna dares me. "It's a miracle I've lived to ninety-three and can live to see my great-great grandbaby. You want to make my miracle upset?"

"Bisnonna, you should hear her speak!" Enzo chimes in.

"And what did she say?"

"She said she has a boyfriend! A boyfriend!" Fabio exclaims in disbelief.

"Is that so?" Bisnonna gives Ellie a look. "Is this true, Eleonora?" Ellie picks her head up and nods, wiping her cheeks.

"She's five—"

"I wasn't speaking to you." Bisnonna stops Enzo from speaking any further with just a finger held up.

"Is he cute?" Nonna chimes in from the doorway. She walks in and sits down next to bisnonna, placing her cup down.

"Oh don't encourage her!" I'm starting to get frustrated.

This is ridiculous!

Ellie nods with a sly little smile. She knows what she's doing.

"What's his name?" Bisnonna asks.

Ellie rolls off her lap and sits in between the only two girls in the room.

"Tommy." Ellie sniffles and wipes her nose on her sleeve.

"Tommy?" Nonna smiles. "I knew a Tommy once in school. He was very good at—"

"Nonna!" I interrupt her.

She laughs a little.

"Come on, Valerius. Let her have a little fun. She's just a kid." Nonna rolls her eyes, messing with Ellis's hair. My tongue clicks the roof of my mouth.

"Not when that little shit is kissing my daughter!" I raise my voice in disbelief.

Nonna and bisnonna raise their eyebrows and look at each other.

"Is this true?" Bisnonna questions her.

"Uh-huh." Ellie nods proudly.

I roll my eyes. I need to figure out where she's learning all this stuff.

"Did you allow him to?" Ellie nods. "I don't see the problem then." Bisnonna shrugs.

"She won't say where he kissed her." Enzo narrows his eyes at Ellie.

"I don't see why that matters. If she was okay with it then it's okay." Nonna chimes in.

Enzo's mouth drops open in shock. My brothers look astonished by what they're hearing and frankly so am I.

"She's five!" He exacerbates.

"I can't believe this." Fabio mumbles.

"I'm going to kill that little shit." I grit out.

"Eleonora, where did Tommy kiss you then, eh?" Nonna asks with a smile just to annoy me.

Ellie turns around and whispers something to her. Nonna smile and look to bisnonna who had heard the same come from Ellie's mouth.

So she'll tell them and not me? I feel betrayed.

"Very promiscuous." Nonna assures me and I give her a deadly look.

Just then my papà walks into the room.

"What did I miss?"

• • •