Every Villan Has An Origen Story

V A L E R I U S ' P O V :

"It would make a lot of sense if this all brakes down to be mamma." Savino says, worry clear in his voice.

"But why? Why would she ever work with Ivan? What would she get out of it?" Fabio chimes in.

"Maybe she isn't.. maybe she's just u-using him?" Savino tries, throwing another idea out there.

"But what is her point? Why is she going after her own kids? Because we finally learned how to have a mind of our own?" Mar leans his head into his hands. We're all confused.

"Because your mamma is a crazy jealous bitch." Nonna deadpans blankly.

The three out of the country are on a video call for our conversation. They're on a plane home.

"Mamma." Papà has a warning tone in his voice.

"What!? It's true! Bianca was crazy and so was Katerina. Your mistakes chipped off on your son, the least you can do is be honest now."

"I don't see what Katerina has to do with this—"

"Oh shut it, Valerius!" She snaps.

Something lodges in my throat. Deep down it unsettles me but I keep a straight face.

"She is right..," Fabio mumbles. "Katerina was crazy."

"Yeah.. sorry, Val." Marcello shifts uncomfortably.

"Your mamma didn't have an easy life," papà interrupts before I can snap back at any of them. "Her mamma was crazy. . . and so was her papà." Papà's head shakes. "Her life isn't a pretty story. Not one pretty for story telling."

"Well.. mind telling us so we can figure this out? All our lives are on the line." Enzo says flatly.

"It's not a story you should hear. I don't want your image of your mamma ruined."

"Well if she's behind all of this, she's already done that for her fucking self." I snap. My hands find Ellie's back and I rub it gently to calm myself down. She sleeps soundly on my lap because we had to move down to the living room to talk. I couldn't leave her alone. "This is ridiculous!"

Papà sighs and reluctantly starts a story I never expected to hear.

"Your mamma's mother was physically and verbally abusive your mamma's entire life. Her.. Her father was sort of a safe haven— if you could call it that." He inhales deeply. "In attempt to make a long story short, her papà was sick. He used your mamma's vulnerability to.. take advantage of her.. in sexual ways. When your mamma told me, the way she told me, she truly believed that it was okay of her and her papà to love each other in a not-so familial manner."

His words settle a deep disgust into the pit of my stomach. I feel nauseous almost. Memories start to creep up on me. I shift in my seat.

"Are you trying to subtly say that our mamma was groomed by our nonno? You killed that fucker right? Please tell me you did." Enzo was the first to say something. I was a little surprised that he spoke, normally he's quiet with his anger.

"Of course I did.. but your mother can't know that. She was obsessed with him, with men. She sees them as protectors, like how he would protect her from her mamma. I think that's where her obsession with you boys strived from. Your mother.. she— I found out when you all were in school that she was threatening girls to stay away from you, hurting them so they did. When I found out, we almost separated. It wasn't the fact that she was trying to 'protect' you kids, it was the insane obsession that she had to be the only woman in your life."

"What the hell..," Fabio mumbles from beside me.

My eyes dart to a random spot in the room, hoping no one can read into my eyes. I swallow the guilt down into my throat. I don't like this story, this talk.

"She felt betrayed or threatened once she found out you had a daughter, Val. She sees all women as evil, apart from herself because her father had "taught her the right ways of how to be a woman". She's taken it too far before." He pauses, wondering whether he should continue or not. "A few months after you were born Val, your mother got pregnant. We found out it was a girl." A reminiscent smile grazes his face.. but something so repulsive turns it sour. "Your mamma was not happy. That night, instead of coming to me and telling me she didn't want our bambina, she had tried to overdose."

Something sick swelled in my gut. I couldn't have ever imagined this is what my mamma is truly like. I would have never imagined that she would or even could take something so far.

I try to imagine myself having a little sister. We would have been be so close in age that I bet we would have fought over everything. Maybe even have been partners in crime, best friends.

Maybe things would have been different then.

"She had convinced me that someone had forced her to do it. I believed her because I loved her then." Papà's voice begins to get quieter, he tries to hide how it actually hurts him. "She told me just a few months later that her father had come to her in a dream, telling her to kill our baby."

I hear Marcello sniff back his emotions. I watch Savino put his arm around him, giving him the comfort he needs.

I can't figure out exactly what I'm feeling. Maybe sadness, maybe pure anger or maybe it's guilt for ever believing my mamma could have changed to accept my daughter.

I wonder. If Katerina never left and mamma found out about our daughter.. would she have tried to kill Ellie too? Maybe Katerina leaving was a good thing.

"Your mamma needs help. Her obsession.. I think it's grown even greater since Ellie has come to live with you, Val. She sees her as. . . competition."

I scoff, I could have never imagined something like this happening to me. To my daughter. It almost makes me want to laugh or maybe cry.

"So you think she's behind this all?" Savino asks with a tone heavy in denial.

"I'm not saying that." Papà sighs. "I'm just saying it wouldn't be far stretched for her to have asked Ivan for help, knowing he'd say yes."

Knowing mamma could have gone to my biggest enemy just to get rid of my daughter, it makes me sick. Though I know, it's not a far stretch.

"But sure mamma hates Ellie and she wants to get rid of her.. but Ivan started this a long time ago. Remember? The first note. He said he kidnapped Katerina." Fabio reminds us.

My jaw ticks. I hold Ellie's hand tighter, she still lays sleeping beside me.

"It's no secret that Bianca hated Katerina just as much. She could have easily started this a long time ago." Nonna tells us gently, like I would've taken it better if she were quiet.

All eyes are on me, burning through me. My eyes are at the ground waiting for it to slice open and take me in.

My fingers start to twitch in annoyance. I'm tired of the same fucking conversation. The same accusations. The same pity looks. They just don't understand what we had, Katerina and I. Maybe if I would have introduced her to them or let them get to know her they'd understand.

"Val—"

"Shut up." I command Fabio. He does a double take at my quick authority. "I want everyone out."

"What are you—"

"I said.. everyone is going to get the fuck out of my house right now."

"It's not safe." Savino so blatantly recalls. Like I don't already know.

"I don't give a shit! I'll call a million fucking guards to this damn house before I let all of you sit here and badmouth the woman who had my child!" I notice Ellie waking up, sliding off my lap and onto the couch.

"I knew you were blind when it came to that bitch but I didn't know she fucking tore your brain cells out." I hear Enzo shout from the computer screen.

"Val.. we aren't saying anything against her." Mar tries a soft-calming tone but I ignore it.

I'm tired, I'm annoyed and I want everyone dead.

"I'm tired of the stepping around this topic. You want to hear badmouthing?" Fabio stands up in front of me. "Katerina Watson was a psycho bitch who abused you not only physically but mentally and you've been blind to it for fucking years! Why though, Val? You aren't the type to let people hit you and run. Why was she the fucking exception?"

It only takes me two seconds to raise my fist and slam it into my brother's jaw.

Fabio stumbles back and Savino catches him before he falls beneath the glass table. It takes no thought for me to take Fabio and slam his body into the wall, away from everyone.

Several people are telling me to stop it to let it go but I ignore them all. I think it's Mar who grabs Ellie off the couch to cover her ears.

"I want to fucking kill you." I seethe, my eyes blaring with anger.

My forearm is against his neck, holding him from moving his position on the wall.

"Everyone else might graze past it but I'm not going to keep ignoring it, Val." Fabio says, hushed. "What? Do you not think you deserve good love?" He taunts.

"Watch it." I swallow the sour taste in my mouth.

"No, that's not it. If that were true, you would have never kept Eleonora." Fabio's eyes search into mine. "It can't be a past relationship because.. well our mother was crazy—," suddenly he stops talking. His eyes take over a realization, one I don't like. An almost petrified look takes his face. "What did she do to you?"

I know exactly what he means. Who he's talking about and it's not Katerina.

What did mamma do to you? What did she make you do? What have you been keeping from us?

Questions I don't want to answer but what he's truly what he's asking of me and that's what scares the shit out of me.

I go to lay another hit on him but I'm pulled back by my other two brothers. I could jump forwards and continue if I wanted, my brother's grips aren't that strong. I stop by my own will. I don't want to fight my brother. Not now.

"Back off, Val." I hear Mar say quietly from behind me. He's protecting Ellie from my outburst.

I turn around pointing my finger. "Get out." I smack his shoulder with my own.

I grab Ellie and go upstairs to my room.

• • •

There's no knocking before Fabio comes into my room a hour later. I'm annoyed and he shouldn't test me again today. Though, when do my brothers ever learn from their mistakes?

"I told you—"

"Oh save it, Valerius." Fabio snips at me.

I give him a crooked look. "You—"

"You can't keep pushing people away every time they dig a little deeper into your fucked up head."

He steps closer into my room, shutting the door behind him. He's quiet, catering to Ellie sleeping beside me.

"I don't think you know what you're talking about." I tell him. The hairs on my arms stand up. I gaze to Ellie like she might wake up and ask what we're talking about.

"Did she hurt you? Touch you? What did she make you do?"

My heart drops. "It is not your place to ask me anything like that, Fabio." My jaw ticks.

"If I'm right, you've carried that burden for too long, Val. Let me help you. You deserve better."

"I don't need help. You have no idea what fucking happened. I don't need pity. Whatever you think happened.. you're wrong."

"This isn't pity, Val. This is me being your fucking brother! Because—," he paused, inhaling a deep and steady breath. "Because if she fucking touched you, she is not my mother anymore. She's dead to me and I won't hesitate to shoot her in the fucking skull. Do I look like someone who gives pity?"

If I could honestly look him in the eyes and tell him that out mamma wasn't crazy. That she didn't used to come into my room late at night when I was a teenager. That she fucked up my way of ever understanding what I feel. Truly, I'd tell him. But I can't, because I don't know if I'd be able to hold myself together if I did.

I stay silent for awhile. I think. I need to think.

"I don't know what you want me to say." My voice is just above a whisper.

"I want you to admit it to yourself. I want you to heal. You deserve to be happy, Val." Fabio's voice is just as quiet as mine. "I want you to understand that mamma and Katerina didn't give you shit. We all have to figure out what love means, Val. Some of us just later than others."

I shake my head, forcing my emotions down into a pit in my stomach.

"I've always looked up to you." He admits. "Your my big brother who could always find a solution to a problem. You were the cool kid who was invited to all the parties. The man who always knew what to say. And the leader who always got back up after he fell." Fabio sits down on the bed but I refuse to look at him. "Get back up."

I swallow my breath as a phone call interrupts the moment. It's Fabio's phone. I hear our papà on the other line, gunshots off in the distance.

Fabio is trying to figure out what he's saying when Marcello bursts through my room. "They just landed, Russians were waiting for them. We need to go!" Mar's eyes hold a deep sense of worry. He's always been emotional.

"Go, we'll be there." Fabio says, hanging up the phone. Mar leaves.

Fabio gets up. "I can't go." I tell him.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't leave Ellie." I look to her sleeping body beside me. I can't let her get mixed up in a shootout again. "And she's not getting put in another shootout. I'm not doing that to her."

"Then I'm staying, I'm not leaving you alone."

"Go! They need you." I tell him urgently. "You're the best gunman we have."

"What if they—"

"I have guards everywhere. No one is getting in here. I promise."

"Fine." Fabio huffs. "You call if anything even feels off." He points at me like he's our bisnonna.

"Of course."

Before he leaves, he turns back to ask, "Did you really mean that? I'm our best gunman?" A sly smirk lays on his lips.

"Go!" I tell him, hiding my smile. Idiot.

"Fine!" His hands go up in the air. "I love you, Val. We'll talk when I get back?"

I swallow the worry in my throat. I have to face my fears one way or another.

"Yes. I love you too. Now come back alive would you? And make sure everyone else does too."

He laughs. "Promise. You don't die either." Fabio's finger points towards me.

I put my hands up in defense.

"Promise."

• • •