Oh Brother

V A L E R I U S ' P O V :

Something itches at my nose and my face contorts in annoyance.

What the hell?

My eyes peel open. They squint, adjusting to the light in the room. I gaze out of the window, noticing that I forgot to close the curtains, tiny raindrops stain the glass. I sigh, my chest evenly rising.

I go to move but become aware of the heaviness on my lap alongside the ache in my back. Why did I fall asleep in such an odd position? My back is on my headboard, my knees up and my eyes slowly start registering the alive kid that sits in my lap.

You've got to be kidding me.

I was hoping that was all a dream. Cazzo.

My chest tighten with my eyes studying the small girl who lays on my shirt. Her pale skin carries the scabs of her scars, her lip busted and a light bruise on her cheek. Her eyes, though, shine a brightness I'm not used to. They hold something unfamiliar.

I don't miss how her body tenses under my eyes. She's scared. Normally I'd revel in the thought of someone shuttering at me but for some reason, I can't help the feeling of dissatisfaction that pounds at my chest.

Her eyes are hesitant like she's waiting for me to do something, to hurt her.

I don't like that.

"Buongiorno, piccolina." Good morning, little one. I tell her with the rasp of just waking up.

My hand finds her small one, rubbing the inside of her palm, trying to calm her. Her eyes flutter.

Her little worried stare hooks around my chest. She doesn't respond but she doesn't have to.

"I have clothes for you, something better than this." I let my lips lift at the side, forming a small smile to my face.

I immediately drop it when I realize what I did.

I don't let people see me feeling, this child is no different. I won't give into her witchery.

"Why don't we get you in something more fitting?" I refer to my black shirt of mine she's wearing. It tramples over her feet, maybe fifteen times her size.

It almost makes me find humor. Weird.

Eleonora did nothing but stare at me and for some reason, I feel almost like she is trying to wrap her mind around me.

• • •

"Pasta, protein shakes or cooked meals that a child could never chew." I sigh, closing my refrigerator.

Earlier, I noticed the rumble of Eleonora's stomach and then I realized I didn't feed her last night. She probably hasn't had good food in a long time.

My mind traveled back to the new— what Americans call 'Brunch' spot a few blocks down. It's the best I can do for now so I decided on taking Elli— Eleonora over to the restaurant. We sit in the back as my driver drives, Eleonora sits huddled on my lap. She stares out the tinted window.

Her bright blue eyes glisten at the sight of the trees and cars passing. The glint in her eyes make me wonder if she even knows what trees look like. It's sickening, really.

"We're here, Don." My driver says to me as he stops the car.

I hold Eleonora tighter and she lets me.

When we walk into the restaurant, Eleonora's head tucks into the crease of my neck. There is a woman at the front desk, she looks up my way when I step in front.

"A table outside, for two."

The woman blinked at me. "Uh-uhm we're not taking people outside today becau—"

"A table. Outside." My eyes harden. She grabs two menus and walks outside with me following behind.

I know the kid can't read nor does she speak much but she can look at photos. So I have her pick through the photos of some food and eventually her finger points to the pancake that had a smile on it with fruit and whipped cream.

I sip my coffee while Eleonora nibbles on pieces of her pancake that I cut.

I pick the fork up and place a syrup covered blueberry in front of her mouth and she hesitates before wrapping her mouth around it, tasting it.

I watch as her head whips around to look me in the eyes, a slight twinkle lighting up her face. A genuine smile starts to light through her features and a smile finds my own lips too. Something flutters through my chest.

This is the first time she's smiled at me.

• • •

I made the rash decision to get on a plane and leave America.

It took me by surprise to how upset Eleonora was to get on a plane. She trembled and cried until she fell asleep in my arms.

I tell myself that once Eleonora gets better, I'll find a good home for her in Italy. It's better than the options in America. I know she's attached to me but I just can't give the kid the life she deserves. My work isn't something for the faint of heart, I'd be insane to let a child into this mess.

It's just simply not possible.

John sits across from me on the phone with his wife. I'm not sure how long I'll stay in Italy, the memories there don't serve me well. I know, for now, while Eleonora is in my care, John will watch her. Make sure she doesn't die or whatever.

An abrupt ring throws me out of my dazed state. I notice that my computer has just been sitting open and I actually haven't gotten anything productive done. Oops.

My eyes linger to the name on my phone screen, with irritation I pick up the call.

"Marcello."

"Val— Hey! Off Fabio! That's mine!"

The rumbling in the background causes me to roll my eyes. My brothers. Always idiots.

"I'm going to hang up now. One—"

"Ow! Hey— no!"

"Two—"

"Go steal Savino's phone!"

"Thr—"

"Wait! Val!" Marcello huffs and I lean back on my chair, Eleonora whines slightly at my movement. "I was thinking about taking a trip down to New York. You think I can stay at your place?"

Oh, yes sure. Stay at my place. The place I'm currently not in. Actually I'm in Italy at the moment but yes! Come stay with me for the weekend.

"No." I grunt.

"Wha— no?" Marcello whines. "Why no?"

"Yes, that's what I said." I find myself brushing through Elli— Eleonora's hair, finding a sense of comfort. "You should've just texted me, why call? It would have been easier not to listen to your complaining."

"Because if I call then mamma won't bother me but if I text she will."

My eyes roll.

The loud speaker comes on to announce that we've arrived and my attention jolts. My brothers can't know I'm on a plane. My eyes snap to John who is already up and shutting of the robot's voice.

Oh for fucks sake.

"What was that?"

Of course he can't mind his business. It runs in the family.

"Was that a plane attendant person thing? Where are you going?"

"Mio Dio." I mumble.

"Wait.. you're actually leaving work for once? It's a miracle! Enzo's got some competition!" Mar chuckles.

"No I'm not." I retort quickly. If anything is out of the ordinary, he'll tell our parents and then everyone will find out about the kid that nobody needs to know about. She'll be gone soon anyways. "I'm on my way to..", my eyes snap to my computer where and e-mail waited to be sent out. ".. California. To see Richard.. he needs my help." Richard is the head to the American mafia and definitely does not need my help with anything.

"Oh.. does papà know?"

"He doesn't need to. He's not Don." I shut his question down.

Of course my papà does not know I am harboring a child.. and back in Italy.

It took some work but eventually I got my brother off the phone and the flight attendant took our luggage, handing it off to my guards outside.

I gently shake Eleonora awake. Her eyes snap open before reregistering that it was me who had her in my arms. She relaxes.

"Piccolina.. do you know what Italy is?" Her eyes glance around the plane, shaking her head no. "Italy is a country and it is where you will live now, sí?" Her body shifts so I sit her up in my lap. I notice how tired she always is. I level it down to the exhaustion from what she has been through. "Can I show you?"

Eleonora stretches and falls back onto my chest. I smile without even registering it. She nods, her tired eyes shining at mine.

When she smiles at me her chubby cheeks get bigger and a part of me just wants to reach out and pinch them— wait. No. I sound like my nonna.

Fuck, what is this kid doing to me?

"What was that?" I tease, hoping to hear her soft voice. Her cheeks tint a slight pink.

"Sí," She mumbles, hiding her smile.

My heart went ablaze at her little Italian word. She's learning off of me and I didn't even mean for her to.

Don't get attached Valerius. I need to keep reminding myself.

"Well then..", I lean my head down to whisper to her. "Let's go." I kiss her forehead before I could even stop myself. I pause, registering what I did. My throat clears.

I didn't want to do that. Why did I do that?

The kid isn't yours. Don't get attached.

I pick up the girl and set her on down to her feet, my hand holding hers so she doesn't run.

A notification pings my phone.

An email from an girls orphanage here in Italy. I called a few places last night.

A lump forms in my throat, my stomach feeling queasy. I set a reminder to check the email back later. I shove my phone away.

I grab ahold of both Eleonora's hands because I know she can't walk well. She stays in front of me as we walk. I pull her higher when she starts to fall so she won't hit the ground.

I watch her squint at the beaming sun. On the last step I tug her arms up high so she jumps before landing on the ground. My heart squeezes at the smile on her face, a barely audible giggle escaping her lips.

I force my face to be unreadable. I try my best not to react to how foolish the child makes me feel.

I ignore my guards who stand outside and the driver who stands outside of my car, ready to take us home. I walk Eleonora over to the edge of the platform.

The port was on higher ground than the town so we stand above, looking over the country. I take the chance to hold her up by her armpits and set her on my hip.

Her eyes sparkle at the sights. This is the place I grew up. My first and only real home.

"This. This is Italy, piccolina."

• • •

The next day comes and I make a call to our family doctor. One of the more important reasons I came back to Italy. I won't trust just anyone with my— this child.

Carlo Sanchez is our family doctor, he's in his fifties and he's who I trust to keep the kid a secret. He knows I'm coming, he doesn't know what for. Carlo only knows to keep me being back in Italy a secret. Because of the secret, I go into the hospital through the back entrance, hoping not to be seen.

I feel like I'm smuggling drugs.

I don't knock when I reach Carlo's office, I barge in.

"Well hello to you too, Val—" He stops mid sentence when he turns around in his chair and takes sight of the small child attached to my hip. The door shuts behind us. "Oh?" He enquires, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that." I grumble, adjusting Eleonora on my hip.

I've noticed Eleonora becoming more loose around others, more comfortable. It's a good sign.

"Like what? Like you have a child on you? Please tell me you didn't steal the girl." I give Carlo a blank stare and he shrugs. "Anything is possible."

He stands from his chair.

"I did not steal anyone. I found her."

"Found her?" He laughs like I'm lying.

"Yes." I retort back. "Found her."

"If you say." Carlo smiles at Eleonora. "And what is your name, dolcezza?" Sweetheart.

Her bright blue eyes look up to me, almost like she's asking me for permission.

Oh come on kid. Don't look at me like that.

When I give her no answer she looks back to Carlo. "Eleonora." She tells him quietly.

"Why don't you have a seat, Eleonora."

I try to peel the little demon-spawn-leech off of me put she persists and now we're both sitting on a medical bed, the stupid wax paper crunching beneath us.

"She likes you, no?" Carlo asks humorously, a little smile coming to his face.

"Unfortunately."

"Oh don't be so cruel, Valerius. She's just a baby."

A baby with one hell of a grip.

"Why did you bring her here today?" He asks like the faint bruise isn't evident on her cheek and like the scabs aren't there.

"Are you blind?"

"No, just old." He snaps on rubber gloves and pulls his wheeled chair over and in front of Eleonora. "I mean specifics, Valerius."

My hands cup Eleonora's ears so she can't hear me, she looks confused for a moment before she brushes it off and sits playing with the wax paper.

"I found her on the streets. Deep cuts, bad bruising. Severely malnourished, I've gotten some food in her but not enough. It's obvious that she was neglected and abused. She barely talks or walks. She knows some things but not enough. I need you to check to see what her condition is, what specifically happened to her. I—" I hesitate.

"You need to know if she's okay?" He smiles teasingly at me and I roll my eyes.

"No." I snap. "I don't care enough for that."

Carlo's hums to himself, then put on a smile for Eleonora who was gazing at him, curious.

"I'm guessing X-rays are off limits."

"If you want her to go into a panic then I suggest not."

"Then I'll do my best."

I let my hands uncover Eleonora's ears and Carlo starts by telling her his name and making funny faces. He takes her height and weight and just as I suspected, it's not where she should be.

Carlo shows her the bandaids and she has a field day. I now have four princess stickers on my arm and she has one on her cheek.

With me distracting her, I was even able to get Eleonora to sit still while Carlo properly stitched some of the deeper gashes on her back. He told me he won't do a complete examination until Eleonora gets more comfortable around him and I agree.

"So.. little Eleonora. Do you know how old you are?" Carlo asks and Eleonora looks to me with a green apple lollipop sticking out of her mouth.

I don't say anything, I want her to learn to be confident on her own.

She realizes I won't tell her the answer so she looks to her fingers and counts in her head before holding up four fingers and wavering it between five like she's unsure. My eyebrows rise.

"There's no way she's four." I stammer to Carlo. "I thought maybe two pushing three." If she is four, I know for certain she's way behind mentally and physically for her age.

"It is possible. I want to wait until she gets the proper nutrition, then we can see for sure what her age should be but four does seem accurate."

I find myself subconsciously pulling Eleonora tighter to me.

I watch as Carlo pulls something up on his phone and shows it to Eleonora. A dog.

"Eleonora, do you know what this is?" Without any hesitance, she shakes her head no.

I don't understand what he's doing at first but soon I understand.

The next, a ball. No.

A playground. No.

A rose. No.

A picture of two parents with their child. Then the slight shake of her head. No.

My heart hits against my chest, sorrow filling my heart. She really has seen nothing. We went through about ten photos and each she didn't recognize but one, an orange. Though she didn't know the name of it.

Carlo smiles at Eleonora, like everything that was just discovered was nothing.

"You did a good job, Eleonora. I think that means you get another lollipop." He brought out the basket and her eyes light up, hesitantly she takes one. She gives it to me to hold. Carlo turns to me. "I'd like to see her at least once hopefully twice a week for the next month or two—"

Something hits in my heart. Guilt maybe.

"That won't be possible. I've been planning on sending her to an orphanage when she's better. That should take no more than two weeks." I say the words but they don't feel right.

Carlo sits back in his chair, looking between me and Eleonora. Something passes through his eyes. I'm not sure how much I like the look he has.

"Well.. as her doctor I suggest for her mental health, it's better for her to be with someone she trusts."

"And you think that's me?" I scoff, this is unbelievable.

"She hasn't left your side since the moment you got here."

"Where is she to go? There's no where, of course she's going to be near me!"

"And at your home? On the plane? Does she let anyone else hold her?" My mind went back to when she screamed for the female guard to stop touching her and ended up having to take a bath with me. "Get close to her?" I think to how she sticks her head into the crease of my neck when someone else is near. "Is she comfortable with anyone other than you?"

After a moment of silence I look at him thoughtfully.

"I can't take care of a child."

"I never said you had to. It's only two months. The time will fly."

How am I going to keep her from my family for two months?

I swallow the lump in my throat before reluctantly agreeing. I look down to the blue eyed girl in my lap.

Little leech.

The time will fly. Right?

• • •