"The greatest agony in life is not when you hate them for hurting you.

But when your hate yourself, for giving them the monopoly to hurt you."

- suzangill ....

Ezra's pov

I couldn't sleep. Shifting and changing sides on the soft mattress.

The desire to go back to my life when mon was there, ardent. If only I could.

I missed her caressing my forehead and saying everything will be fine.

I missed her touch.

Her fragrance.

Her embrace.

The look in her eyes, the softness of her touch, the smile on her lips.

I felt empty without her.

And another tear leaves my eyes. I don't know why I am crying so much today. But I can't seem to stop it.

It's that feeling when you feel you are surrounded , yet alone in a crowd.

When you have everything, but nothing.

My thoughts are interrupted by the creaking sound of the door opening. And I slowly pull up the comforter.

Cleaning my tears under it.

I hear soft footsteps stopping beside me, to only end with a sigh. It's him. Aaron.

What's he doing in my room?

And then I remember. This is his room! Oh no! I almost forgot!

I was staying here, while he slept in the guest room yesterday.

Sh**! He told me to not touch his things!

And here I was, sleeping on his bed. Under his comforter with his scent lingering around everywhere.

I need to leave. I am sure he is mad at me.

But wait. What if I continue to pretend to sleep.

He won't wake me up then, will he?

Yes. This is a nice idea. No man is inhuman enough to distrupt another person's sleep.

Closing my eyes, I pull up the quilt more. Hiding myself in it and breathing evenly.

The bed creaks as he settles on his side. But after that. I don't hear anything for next few minutes and I so badly wanted to turn around and see what he was doing.

But I refrained.

Time passes in silence. No movements, nothing.

Oh god! It was getting so suffocating under this quilt.Lifting up the quilt, I peek through the small place.

To see him.

Laying beside me.His arm placed on his eyes as he sleep upright.

Thank god he is asleep. Letting out the held breath. I move aside the quilt. Finally breathing!

Phew! Who knew pretending could be that difficult.

I moved a bit, to hear the creaking sound from the bed. To go still right there.

Damn this bed! Why is it making noise?

I don't dare to move. Not knowing what to do. Finding nothing else to do, except stare at his face.

His lips were pressed in a thin line. His chest moving up and down in even breaths and his eyes closed, covered by his arm.

Subtle beard was growing, and I would never say this to him. But I like it.

How can a person look so beautiful while asleep?

My gaze stops at a stray eyelash fallen on his cheek. And my eyes light up in excitement.

A wish!

He has a wish!

Moving my hand closer, I gulp. Staring at his cheek where it was eagerly waiting.

Just a little more.

Yes!

I exclaim in my mind. Seeing it set on my finger pad. But before I could move back my hand.

A deadly grip on my wrist made my heart to stop. As I look up to see those grey eyes narrowed at me.

"What are you doing stupid girl?"

I gulp. Looking at my finger. And then back at him. Wasn't he asleep? How did he came to know.

"I ...I...you ...you were.... Me.?...I was not doing anything I swear!"

He doesn't buy my lie. Continuing to stare at me. And I felt uneasy.

Pulling back my hand I try to escape, but he was against it. Instead moving his other arm around my waist, he pulls me to him.

Making me land on his chest, my breathing uneasy. And I wringle, trying to set free.

"Stop moving."

He warns. But I don't. Desperate to move away from him before I commit another sin.

"I please.. I am saying the truth! Let me go!"

I look at my finger to see the wish was no longer there and I cry in horror. Looking at his shirt.

"Oh no! Where did it go!"

I pull on his shirt. Searching for it. And I can bet that he was looking at me like I am crazy.

"What Ezra? What are you doing?"

"The wish! You had a wish! And now it's gone!"

I didn't care about our position anymore. My focus shifting. Eyes desperate to search it.

When he turns the table. Turning us around to pin me under him.

"Stop this childish Sh** Ezra. You are not a kid"

"But the wish! It's gone!"

He looks into my eyes. Moving his face closer to close his eyes. Our breaths hitting each other.

"It's not. When my wish is already in my arms. With me."

I go still.

Did he?

I must be hallucinating.

I forgot to breathe looking at him blankly. My mouth opening and closing.

Lifting up my tank top, he moves up his fingers. Caressing my skin when Ben's words repeat in my mind.

He is having his way with you cupcake. But you are too stupid to realise it.

Moving down the neck of my top, he places featherly kisses down my neck. Darkening the hickeys that were fading.

"Aa- aron"

I stutter. Clenching his shirt tightly. Clearing my mind of the foreign feelings blinding me.

"I don't like it when you hide them kitten."

"I want them to know who claims you."

My breathing was turning heavy, forehead sweating and mind clouding.

"You turned out to be no different Ezra. Now live your life as his fuc*ing who**! Warming his bed when he wouldn't give you anything in return."

He makes his way lower, kissing my chest. His other hand playing with the hook of my bra teasingly.

" You think he will care for a girl he considers as a filthy and goes around announcing as an Orphan?"

He unhooked it, his warm fingers toying with the strap next, pulling it lower.

He doesn't care for anyone Ezra. He never reciprocates.

You will just be his who** to pleasure him.

You will regret it !

And that's when my eyes widen and I push him away from me. Pulling up my shirts neck , moving back from under him.

"This is not right. We shouldn't do this."

I say. Not meeting his eyes. And I knew already , how bad he must be seething.

His palms that rested on my either side. Were fisted. Not moving back even an inch.

His grey eyes scrutinizing me, with my defences set up this time.

"So you believe his words ,huh?

He asks. And I look into his eyes. He was hurt, way hurt than I could have imagined.

"I don't.... know ...what you are saying"

I say lowly. Avoiding his piercing gaze to only hear a loud sound beside my head. Making me flinch.

His palms hitting the bed board beside me.

"Stop the pretence! We both know really well about what I am talking."

I move my head to a side. And he dips his face lower. His breath hitting my cheek.

"You are considering Ben's words right? You are thinking how much of a messed up man I am."

"You are thinking that I am heartless and I will only hurt you? "

Placing his thumb pad in the corner of my lip. He traces it slowly to continue.

Making my insides screaming at him, begging.

"That I will fuc* you everyday for my pleasure and then leave you tainted and broken?"

I clench my own fists, gathering enough courage.If he was so good in reading minds. What do I have to hide?

Looking back at him, I nod

"Yes"

"I am considering his words. And why shouldn't I? You are giving me every reason to Aaron."

He scoffs. A smile making its way on his lips. And I felt almost afraid of his reaction.

"Good. The little girl is not that innocent then. Is she?"

His voice changes suddenly. No longer sounding like the man I thought I knew. As he looks at me with those emotionless eyes.

His words sending a shiver down my spine.

"He is right. I am a fuc*ed up man indeed Ezra." . . . "You are not! Stop saying that Aaron! You care for others ..I have seen-"

"Shhhh"

Placing his finger on my lips. He silences me

"It's just an act. Just like I was acting right now."

"You are not the first one, Stupid girl . I say these cheese lines to all those girls who then spread their legs open for me."

Looking down at my V, he smirks. Meeting my eyes.

"And it's not like it didn't work on you. Weren't you enjoying the attention I was giving you?"

"Stop! Please stop Aaron! Why are you saying all this!"

Cupping his face in my palms, I plead him. With tears on the brim of my eyes.

"You are a good man Aaron. You...you saved me...you married me despite... everything....you saved my honour-"

He chuckles. Shaking his head in disbelief .

"Seriously ? You brought that !"

"I never do things without getting something in return Ezra. I could have easily avoided this marriage. But you why I didn't?"

Placing his palms behind my neck ,he pulls me up. Stopping with our faces just inches afar.

"Do you want to know why I still married an orphan? A nobody like you?"

No....no please. I know his words are going to hurt me.

"To fuc* you Ezra."

My eyes widen the size of saucers. Yet he wasn't done yet. He was just beginning.

"Seeing a seductress as you flocking around me all those teen days. Looking at me with those innocent yet desire filled eyes."

"You don't know how badly I wanted to bang you Ezra"

. . "I thought you would have grown some brain cells and gotten over me when I returned."

"But guess what. You were still that stupid girl."

"What was stopping me then? Seeing you drunk, out of your senses and in my arms. It was you who took the initiative."

"And I just returned it. But I controlled myself." . . . "Knowing a girl of your ideologies wouldn't want it, till it was sacred."

"So here we are "

"Married.With you under me. Available at my disposal to fuc* whenever I wish to."

I was numb. My head heavy and my breathing ragged.

"No.."

I whisper flabbergasted. To have him again give me that devilish chuckle.

"I gave you alot of chances. But you brought yourself here kitten."

. . . Moving his fingers lower, tracing my neck, chest and stomach. His eyes fill with desire.

"So vulnerable. So gullible. Yet so damn fuc*able."

And that was it. I cry, letting out my heart's pain. Slipping from under him to escape him.

Fool! Stupid! Brainless!

I curses myself.Staggering ,while getting up. His chuckle. Piercing my hearts broken parts.

Before I could rush out. His arm coils around my waist. Locking my back to his chest. And I cry more.

"No..."

I felt repulsive of his touch. His cologne feeling suffocating.

"Go and cry. That's the only thing you can do. But remember." . . . "If anyone get's even a word of the reality of our relationship."

Placing a featherly kiss on my earlobe. He whispers dangerously.

"I won't mind punishing you."

I wriggle. More tears leaving me eyes. To have him push me. I stumble. Managing to stop myself from falling.

Not looking back at him.

And instead. Rush out of the room. Leaning my back against the wall. I felt suffocated. And I rush out. Picking up the car keys.

Not caring about the time or my clothing.

Starting the ignition. I clean the tears with the sleeve of my top. Looking at the hazy road in front.

I want to go away.

Far away from here.

From him.

And I hit the road. Letting out the tears and the heaviness in my chest.

Wondering how can a person like me exist. I was too sensitive, too stupid. Too damb to live in a world like this.

And the thought of joining mom , away from all these troubles.

Suddenly looked attractive.

Are you crazy! You are not weak Ezra! Never! You have to live! To earn everything you deserve!

Live for yourself, not for others Ezra.

What will happen when your selfless love becomes less of a strength and more of your weakness?

What will happen when you loose yourself, in finding him?

I suddenly realised how true Ben's words were. And I couldn't help cry more.

My vision of the road turning more hazy, but I didn't stop

When suddenly my phone pings and I didn't cared less.

Taking deep breaths. I was going everything I could to forget Aaron's words but they kept coming back.

Hitting me, hurting me again and again.

I married you just to fuc* you!

You brought this on yourself!

Flocking around me like a desperate seductress!

You initiated it...

No! Please no! Stop! My vision got more hazy and I tried to clean my eyes with the back of my hand.

When I suddenly see a car coming directly towards me.

I honk and flicker the beam lights but the person kept coming my way.

My heart racing in my chest, when it was too late. The collision couldn't be avoided.

And I did the only thing I had to.

Steering the wheel, I drifted the car. Pressing on the breaks and pulling the handbrake.

Waiting for the impact.

....

Next update: AARON'S POV.