For the majority of the journey back home I play cards with Wylan and Jesper, discuss books and things with Inej, visit Nina and Matthias down below and also avoid Kaz like the plague. Ever since our exchange a few days ago things have been....... Tense. Laying down in my hammock I sigh as we sway from side to side. I close my eyes and try to sleep although the cries from Nina make it so hard.

Somehow I manage to fall asleep and the dream I have..... well......

I am in the Crow Club, it's busy as per usual but none of my friends are in sight even Kaz. Strange. I go up to Rotty who is at the bar "hey, where is Kaz?" I ask and looks puzzled "who? Who even are you?" I am shocked I step away bumping into someone. It's Wylan "hey Wy, where are the others?" I ask placing a hand on his shoulder. This causes him to flare and shove me off, that's when I notice the massive scar running down his face on his right side and I gasp. A hand over my mouth.

"Wylan what happened?" I ask softly moving my hand to trace the scar but he grabs my hand and shoves me off "Rotty. Who is this?" He demands coldly, as though I am not even here. The man behind the bar shrugs "I don't know, do you want me to get Adam?" He nods and Rotty scuttles from behind the bar "right away boss"

My eyes fling open, what the hell was that? I push my messy hair from my face and leave the cabin with the snoring Jesper and Inej. Wylan muttering softly in his own dream world. I smile as I close the door and look out at the dark expanse around me. "Can't sleep?" A voice asks and I jump clutching my chest, looking up I see Inej sitting intop of the cabin and she gestures me to join her.

Swiftly climbing up I sit down next to her and sigh "I will be glad to be back on my own bed" I say after a moment of silence, she flips a knife in her hand "so will I, I have missed Ketterdam" I nod my head "what's going on with you and Kaz?" She asks quickly as though scared of my reaction and I look shocked. Not expecting the conversation to go there.

"I don't know" I say honestly playing with the blonde streak, "one minute it seems like we are having a moment, maybe something will happen and then it just doesn't" I throw my hands up in frustration. She is still silent so I continue "I don't know if he likes me. If he is even capable of liking someone" Inej leans her head on my shoulder and we share each other's warmth.

"He doesn't show it often but Kaz cares. He cares about us anyway, but the way he looks at you" she swallows and pockets her knife "it's like nothing I have ever seen" my heart clenches "like you are the most valuable jewel in his entire collection" I snort and jostle my friend slightly "I probably am, you know my gift" I feel her smile before Inej continues "I honestly think he would die for you" I roll my eyes and lean back on my hands "the day Kaz Brekker does anything that doesn't benefit him is the day the world ends" we both laugh before Inej yawns and stretches "I'm going down to check on Nina, do you want to come?" I shake my head and watch as Inej stands up and leaps down to the deck silently. Forever the Wraith.

She looks up at me with a look "just think about it" she says and disappears into the darkness. I bring my legs up to my knees, wrap my arms around them and look up to the stars. I know Aleksander is seeing the same ones I am but the idea we are living in the same world still is too much to wrap my head around. Sometimes I still miss him and I feel stupid for it but it is true. I can't just erase all the good memories I had with him even if I wanted too.

My time at the Little Palace was the first time I felt secure, like I knew where I was meant to be. I see Kaz stalking across the deck and I lean forward "you should throw a party in mine and Nina's honour when we get back" I call and he stops looking up at me. When he sees me his eyes get brighter and he raises an eyebrow, leaning on his cane "oh yeah? And why is that?" I lean forward a bit more, my hands clutching the ledge. I love my head to the side and give him an innocent smile "we did kind of save your asses" he looks down at his shoes for a second before looking back up, sincerity in his eyes "I never thanked you for that" he says quietly and I shrug suddenly embarrassed "it's fine, you don't have to thank me"

Then something even more embarrassing happens, I slip and fall onto the ground by Kaz's feet and I wince cursing like a sailor. I try to get up but my arms hurt, then a gloved hand reaches out and I take it letting Kaz help me up. "You aren't hurt are you?" He asks eyes roving my body and I suddenly feel very self conscious and I wrap my arms around my torso "I'm fine probably shouldn't have leaned so far forward" a smirk dances on his lips and he dips his head. I don't realise how close we are to each other until I feel his breath on my skin and I go bright red.

"I'll see you tomorrow Salem" Kaz says smirking down at me before walking off and I huff crossing my arms, that boy has hell to pay when we get back. Stretching my arms and wincing I head back into the cabin and climb in with Jesper who wakes up slightly "I couldn't sleep" I whisper and he nods wrapping his arms around me. It's totally platonic the relationship between Jes and I but it makes me feel comfortable knowing I have someone to lean on when the going gets tough.

A/N: ahhhhh more tension 🥴 I loveeeeeeee this story so much I hope you guys are enjoying it!