(Sorry the chapters have been a bit short.) (This chapter continues of the theme of miscarriage)

It's 4am and I just woke up, I looked to Jeremiah who was still asleep and decided to go downstairs to get some water. I was told to be on bed rest for a week or so but it should be alright as I'm only getting water. I got up and with struggle left the bedroom.

The house was utter silence which was new as usually everyone's rushing around and being busy. A part of me wants to forget what's happened and move on but I know that can't happen, Harry's dead, Amy's gone, m-my.....without realising a tear was slipping down my face as I walked down the stairs.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, it was cold outside but I didn't care I still went outside and grabbed a chair and sat next to the pool. I couldn't go back into the bedroom where Jeremiah was, he said it's not my fault but lately everything seems to feel like my fault, like everyone knows but out of pity doesn't say anything.

H-Harry was so kind to me, even when I was off having a strop of being stubborn he still laughed about it. Amy and him didn't deserve this, they deserved a future together.

I sat and started at the moon as I was in deep thought. Nobody should have to deal with me when everyone seems to be happy. Louis is Louis, quiet but loud when round friends, I heard Parker has a crush on someone in the mafia that he works with although apparently he's been shutting her out since yesterday. Lucas and Noah I feel the worst for, Harry was their best friend and now he's just gone, Wesley asked Camila out yesterday before...everything. And Jeremiah's got work and friends like usual.

I hasn't been long since Harry's death but I know their lives will be put on hold like usual because of me, I wonder if I should just leave and let them live the lives they could, I mean Jeremiah's been through so much but somehow all his pain seems to lead back to me. Should I leave and forget the life I have hear to start a new one?

The more I think about it the more it seems better, yes, Jeremiah and everyone would attempt to look for me but not if I tell him it's for the better. He won't realise at first but he would live a better life if he didn't have to deal with me, all of them would.

By now it was half 4 if I wanted this to work I need to leave now, because the second everyone wakes up there's no hope of me leaving. I quickly walked inside placing the empty cup of water on the kitchen side. I walked up the stairs and into the room I was originally staying in before I slept in Jeremiah's. I kept reminding myself while I was throwing in the essentials I would need until I go back to my old apartment that Jeremiah would move on and find a woman he loves and have her children while Grayson and Hailey would raise Kenzie with a better life.

I wasn't planning on staying in my apartment as I knew they would come looking for me there. After throwing enough clothes in a suitcase that I would need until I get to my apartment, I quickly ripped a piece of paper out of my notebook and grabbed a pen writing:

Jeremiah

Please don't come looking for me, I want everyone including you to move on, forget about me. I want you to find a woman your in utter love with, have her children and raise them to be just like you.

I'm not doing this because I want to leave, I'm doing this because i need to leave. When you brought me here I hated everyone, and I despised you more but these people became my best friends, you became my only love.

But with deep thought I remember I've put you all through more pain than 3 lifetimes.

The pain will ease, one day it won't hurt anymore. Please, forget about me to start a new life.

Maeve

After finishing the letter, the tears were streaming down my face. I quickly wiped them from my face carrying my suitcase quietly to the front door. I looked on my phone to find an early plane to get, so I get back to my apartment.

After finishing booking one and double checking I have all the money I had been saving, I left the phone on the side so they couldn't track me.

By now it was 5:15am which meant in fifteen minutes Jeremiah would wake. I quickly went back to the bedroom I had left him. I walked in seeing him sleep peacefully as I placed the letter on the night stand. I tried hard but tears welled my eyes as I knew I probably would see him again.

I kissed him forehead lingering for a while before turning around and leaving before I broke down.

I walked back to my suitcase and picked it up, opening the door and closing it quietly. I had booked my plane for 7am which gave me enough time to get to the airport from here as I was getting a bus to the airport. I turned around facing the house as I was at the gate, seeing the light to Jeremiah's bedroom turn on knowing he would have know I was gone so I quickly put my finger print in and the gate opened.

I walked fast to the bus stop which was 20mins away from here, my stomach hurt but I had to keep going as I knew by now Jeremiah would have red my letter and sent people out looking for me so I put my hood up to hide my face.

I waited at the bus stop for 5mins before it came, it went straight to the airport and I was on time for my flight as it was 6:45am and I quickly went through check in and security, I would have thought by now there would be men looking in the airport for me unless Jeremiah actually listened to my letter.

After security it was 6:55am, luckily I saw my gate straight away and went to it showing my passport. As I turned around I saw Cyrus, one of Jeremiah's men looking around the airport for me I assume so I quickly adjusted my hood so he couldn't see me which worked as I successfully made it to the plane.

I sat down in my seat, it was nothing special, it was just what I could afford with my money. As the pilot announced the seat belt sign and that we were leaving I felt relieved but at the same time I couldn't help but feel sad as I left everyone I cared about.

—

After the pilot announced the welcome, we all got off the flight and I headed for a taxi. I got picked up and drove to my apartment by the taxi, once I gave him his money and headed up to my apartment I thought back to my friend Ivy who I was once friends with, and I remembered how fake her and her friends actually were, they only wanted to go clubbing every night which I didn't might before but hated it after a while, and I noticed I never got a phone call or anything to ask if I was okay.

Anyway, for now I knew that if Jeremiah was looking for me which he was, he would go straight to my apartment so I opened the door getting my other suitcase and filling it with important stuff before grabbing the keys and heading down to the place where I gave the keys back and headed out towards a hotel to stay in for a night or so until I figure out where I want to move to.

Once in a hotel I felt relieved knowing Jeremiah probably wouldn't find me here. Usually I hate clubbing because it reminds me of Ivy and all but really I needed a drink after today and the long flight.

It was 8:40pm now so I quickly dug in my suitcase looking for something to wear. I finally found a black and very revealing dress that Hailey had bought me. I smiled at the memory but quickly tried to forget about it.

I was attempting to forget about them as much as I could so I could move on. I slipped the black dress on that had a deep falling v-neck and was very short, and headed out to the club.

As I used the car which was mine before Jeri-he kidnapped me and as I pulled up to the club I heard S&M by Rihanna which was an old song but I loved it, was playing.

I walked in deciding if I want to move on I have to be a new me. And that just so happened to be a more confident me, I wanted to protect myself without having to rely on him or any of his bodyguards.

With that thought in mind I decided to grab a shot from the bar, after downing a few and ordering a tequila I went to the dance floor where I saw a group of people my age, there was 3 girls and 4 guys. I assumed the 3 girls where with each one of the boys but the last on seemed to single as the rest were making out.

I was dancing at this point and was definitely drunk as I stumbled into the man. "Careful here" he said over the music. "I'm fine" I said removing his hand from my waist.

"I'm Kaiden" he said obviously trying to make conversation with me. "Okay" I said to which he chuckled, "Aren't you going to tell me your name?" He said, "Do you want to know my name?" I said whispering in his ear. "I like you already" Kaiden said as I started dancing with him.

"I'm Bella" I said before thinking as I wasn't using my real name. But Bella really I mean she tried to kill and and did kill Harry. "Okay" Kaiden said mocking what I had said when he told me his name to which we both chuckled.

We danced together for a while which resulted in both of us making out, I didn't want this with him but I wanted it with Jeremiah so I just imagined him as Jeremiah.

Before I could think we were getting a taxi back to his place, as we arrived inside Kaiden slammed me against the door after he closed it and started kissing down my neck to my collar bone. We made out as he lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried to his bedroom.

I didn't see Kaiden I saw Jeremiah, so my drunk self thought this was okay. At this point Kaiden was slipping me out of my dress while I pulled his top off.

He pulled me closer as I felt his body pressed against mine, "Do you want to?" He said into my ear to which I nodded.

We did it, but it was nothing compared to Jeremiah, to the point where I couldn't imagine it as him.

—

I woke up to a pounding headache. I turned to see Kaiden fast asleep, I looked over to the clock to see the time as 7am. Shit, I needed to get a job. I remembered Ivy saying how there was a new office opened round this area.

Without thinking I quickly got a taxi back to the hotel where I changed into some work appropriate clothes and realised I would have to pick my car up later. After I went straight to the office, I think it was a reporting job but computer stuff for the reporters which I was fine about.

I headed to the office where I said to the receptionist who seemed like a nice lady if I could have an interview and to my luck they were still doing interviews and one woman had cancelled her interview which left me for a space now.

I walked into the office room remembering everything from my last job, it was similar to this so I didn't need to revise as such. I walked in and instantly my eyes widened as I saw Kaiden sat across from where I would be doing my interview which meant that if I get this job he would be my boss.

"Ah Bella right?" Kaiden said as I quickly sat in front of him. "Ah yes because you were the woman this morning who if I correctly say, left my house after we slept together" he said and I knew he was irritated. Great this is going to be great.