'You're being really harsh on Neveah.' Brandon says when we walk to the other room.

Some people walk by and greet me, making me feel on edge again.

I don't like these types of parties.

People come here to show off their riches, instead of getting shit done.

I only go to stuff like this because there's no violence allowed and it's a great place to get some good deals. Most of the time.

'Good thing I didn't ask.' I say, keeping up a smile for the people around us, 'Now cut the shit Barsetti.'

He rolls his eyes and stops walking, making Marco and I turn to him in confusion.

'You know sometimes I wonder why you even keep me around since you're always annoyed with me and shit.' I roll my eyes and step closer to him. 'Same goes for me if I'm being honest.'

'So just drop me then.' 'Maybe I will.' Marco slips between us, smiling since people are watching our heated conversation, and gently pushes us apart.

'Can we not do this right now?' He asks, pulling us to the side of the room.

I feel like a little kid for starting shit with Brandon, but he can be so annoying sometimes.

Especially when it comes to North.

'He needs to stop acting like a little bitch towards Neveah, she's been through enough and he's scaring her off.' There he goes again.

'And you need to stop acting like she's made out of glass, she's not a baby.' Marco rolls his eyes and stays in between us.

'Brandon, go get us some drinks.' He suddenly says, right as Brandon wants to reply. 'Excuse me? Do I look like some waiter to you?'

'Just go get us something to drink.' Marco repeats, pushing his brother towards the drinks.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, and head to the doors leading outside.

Most people are inside, leaving the porch almost completely empty.

I hate it here.

I hate every fucking second.

'What's going on with you?' Marco asks, he apparently followed me out here. 'What do you mean?'

He quickly glances inside, before turning back to me. 'You're angry, why?'

'Because I don't want to be here. We should've found her by now, what if-' No. She's not dead.

Hunter wouldn't go that far.

'She's still alive, we just have to know where she is and Nico is working on that.' Right.

He's trying to get us those files.

Camera footage, trackers, security, all of it. Through his uncle.

'I know, but it's taking too long.' I've never been a patient man.

I like when things are fast, in the moment type of shit, and I hate waiting.

I also hate acting like I like everyone at this party, North, Leonardo for giving Valentina away, and love.

There is more to that list, but those are the most important things I hate right now.

'We just have to fill the time, you wanted to talk to Nadora right?' He asks, pulling me back inside. I nod and look around, hoping to find someone.

I just hope North is behaving herself and not causing a scene.

'Speak of the devil.' Marco mumbles, before turning us around. 'Rafael Curzio, what a surprise to see you here!' Nadora says.

He shakes my hand, pulling me in for a hug, and smiles when he steps back.

'Is it though?' He starts laughing and downs his drink in less than a second. 'We have a lot to catch up on.'

We do. And I want to know what you want from Valentina...

I nod and follow him through the room. 'How is your son?' Marco follows behind, quietly listening to our conversation.

'He passed away last December.' Oh...

'Minhas condolencias.' He softly smiles at me and nods, tapping my shoulder. 'He was so young, but the doctors warned me this would happen.'

He did tell me that his son was sick, something with his blood, but I didn't know he was that sick.

'That must be hard for you.' He looks me dead in the eyes, trying to fake the pain because deep down I know he doesn't care.

Nadora is an odd man. He comes off as easy and outgoing, but he's very closed off and sometimes even emotionless.

And he murdered his wife because she told someone he raped her.

Lies, he said when more and more people heard about it. But I don't think they were lies.

I saw how he acted towards her, towards women.

So I have my suspicions about his son's death, but I'll leave it out of the picture for now.

'It was, but I'm trying to move one. At my own pace.' He places his hand on my shoulder and smiles. I can see that that's going well...

He doesn't seem hurt at all. Not even slightly bothered by the fact that he lost his child and his wife so soon.

Suddenly he steps back and grabs his phone, quickly looking at the screen before excusing himself and walking away.

'That was bullshit right?' Marco asks as soon as Jason's far enough. 'No doubt.'

Brandon walks over to us, handing us both a glass of champagne.

I look at it, moving it around a little as I look at him. 'Didn't they have anything else?' Anything stronger...

'No, not in this room.' I take a sip and look around again, trying to see where Nadora went.

I need more info on him. I need to know why he wants Valentina.

'We have a problem.' Killian says as he tries to keep North from walking away. What the- 'I saw her.' North says, looking at everyone before ending at me.

'What is she doing here?' I ask, before taking a sip of the glass again, and smiling because people are starting to stare at us.

'Neveah, shouldn't you be with Nico?' Marco asks, stepping closer to North to get her away from me.

I lift my glass to empty it, instead of shouting at her to behave again, but stop when the words come out of her mouth.

'She's here.' North says, keeping her eyes on me.

I lower my glass and look into her eyes. Something painful, something no one else is getting right now.

'What?' She pries her hand out of Killian's grip and looks at me again. 'Cataleya is here.'

It takes me a long second to process what she's saying and I feel like I'm falling, making me stumble back, just a little.

She... She's here?

Everything goes silent and I can only hear my heart pounding through my entire body.

She's here...

I barely pick anything up and almost drop my glass of champagne, but at some point, I realize North left.

Or more, she's leaving.

'Rio, we should-' 'Go talk to Nadora.' I say as I follow North through the crowd.

I want to see for myself.

Because I know North would lie just to cause a scene.

North looks around the room and so do I, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

Of Valentina.

And when I spot her, when I see her perfect face, her perfect hair, her perfect everything, all the air leaves my lungs.

She's here.

North was right, she wasn't lying. She's right here.

And she's laughing.

Laughing with...

Hunter Steel.

I reach for my gun, feeling someone stop me from actually pulling it out.

When I look at the person stopping me, I realize it's Killian.

'I wouldn't pull a gun in here, Rio. They will kill you.' I push him away and look back at the spot she was just standing at, feeling my heart swell when she's not standing there anymore.

I lost her.

And I lost North as well.

But there's one fucker that's looking at me and I wish Killian didn't stop me from pulling my gun.

Hunter Steel is looking right at me, smiling as he takes another sip of his champagne.

He knows what he's doing...

'Where is North?' I ask, knowing she's probably with Valentina right now. 'We told her to go back to Nico.' Or not...

Fuck.

I had one chance. And I blew it.

No. There's no way I'm letting her slip away that easily.

I brush past Killian and head straight to the crowd, feeling him trail behind me as I search for her.

She's here somewhere, she was just standing there, she can't be that far. Where is she?

I feel like I'm only digging a deeper hole the longer I move through the crowd.

But I stop when I see him.

He's still looking at me, smirking as he lifts his glass and slowly takes a sip. Hunter...

I pull my gun and aim at him and just as I pull the trigger, Killian forces my arm down again, staring at me, angrier than before. 'What the fuck is your problem?' He ask, giving me a small push.

Piece of shit. 'All of this will be over if I just shoot him.' I say, pushing him to the side to look at Hunter.

He's still as careless as before, smiling at me, while I fight the urge to not beat him to the ground right now.

One bullet would be enough.

'They're going to kill you.' Killian says, pushing me away from Hunter again. 'And I'm going to fucking kill you if you don't let me do this.'

I push him back, realizing that we're having an audience. Everyone looks at us strangely and I know we're going to get kicked out because of the commotion.

But I just need to shoot him once.

'It's not worth it!' Killian shouts, crossing his arms as if it's supposed to do shit. 'He'll be dead and we could-' 'What if they end up killing her as well?' Shit.

'We'll just get to her first.' Someone grabs onto my arm and I turn around, realizing I might as well walk out myself.

Three big men walk over to me, all wearing the same custom-made black suits, and basically drag me out of the room.

I try to turn back to catch one last glance at Hunter or Valentina, but they're nowhere to be found.

'Go to hell!' I need space. I need to think clearly. Because Killian was right. If I kill Hunter right here, I could get all of us killed in the process.

She was laughing with him.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I make my way back to the car, ignoring everything Killian is trying to drill through my head.

I need a drink... I race back to the house, almost crashing on the way, and don't even get the keys out of the car as I run inside and slam every door on my way.

Fuck.

As if all of this couldn't get worse than it already is.

Fuck.

She was there.

She was right there. In front of everyone.

Even with that bounty on her head.

Fuck.

She was smiling, freaking enjoying her fucking life while we've been searching our asses off just to find her.

That smile, that precious fucking smile... She seemed... Happy with... Him.

Was she ever that happy with me?

Wait, why the fuck do I care.

She's dead to me.

I don't care.

She seems happy, let her be fucking happy with that asshole, they deserve each other.

Pieces of shit.

No. Stop.

I need to tell her.

Because I won't be able to move on if I don't tell her.

Fuck!

I bash my fist into the wall and feel the pain rush through my entire arm, slowly taking over my body.

But it's not enough.

I need more.

So I destroy the entire kitchen, throwing every plate across the room and enjoying the sound of the shattering porcelain.

I go through the entire house, destroying everything I see in the living room, kitchen, and dining room, trying to calm down.

But nothing works.

It's just too much.

She was right there and I fucking left!

But she seemed happy, and I'll kill him for it.

Because she shouldn't be happy with him.

She should... She should be happy with... Me.

God! This is driving me insane!

Stupid feelings, stupid love.

I don't love her, I hate her.

I absolutely hate her and this is just another obsession of mine, to have her all to myself.

She was there. She was so close and I couldn't even touch her.

I couldn't even smell her, couldn't even hear her voice, couldn't even look at her for too damn long. Fuck!

The last glass we left on the table shatters as I throw it across the room.

The entire floor is covered in shards of glass from all of the shit I broke and I wish I could kill someone right now.

Anyone.

But I want my next kill to be a Steel.

It has to be a Steel.

Because they deserve to pay. They deserve... torture.

I hate to admit it but tonight was absolute fucking torture.

North was right, it was stupid to go to that party in the first place. She was so close and we weren't even allowed to look at her.

Priorities.

It's ridiculous.

Absolutely ridiculous.

I stumble down the hall, into a bedroom and head towards the bed.

How can I go from hating her, to needing her back, to hating her again?

She didn't even look at me. Not once. And she fucking smiled with him.

She fucking smiled with Hunter Steel.

I search for something else to destroy and find another glass.

It shatters across the room before I can even realize what I'm doing.

I need someone to bleed. I need someone to pay for all of this.

'We're home!' Brandon shouts from down the hall. What?

If I had the energy to get up, I would've. But I don't.

'What the fuck- Rio!' Nico shouts, probably seeing what I did to his kitchen.

I'll pay for a whole new kitchen.

'Curse?' North. She's back as well?

I expected her to stay until the party was over, but it's barely midnight.

'Go search the house, he must be somewhere.' Marco mumbles as they all walk around the house.

It sounds like they enter every room except this one, and I'm glad they don't.

I don't want to talk to them.

I don't want them to look at me like some... Weak guy who's unable to stay at a party because he can't stand not being able to do something, anything, with the girl he wants.

I want to be alone. I just-

The door opens and North steps into the room.

Her eyes are red and puffy, but she doesn't say a word and closes the door as she walks over to the other bed in the room.

And that's when I realize this is her room. Her room with Brandon.

She climbs onto the other bed and looks at me.

She looks almost exactly the way that I feel right now.

Useless.

We could've taken her. She was right there. But we didn't.

Because it was too risky.

Stupid. Everything is fucking stupid.

'Rio!' The door bursts open again, this time it's Marco.

He looks at me, then at Neveah, before turning his gaze back to me.

Not saying a single word.

And I hate the way he looks at me.

It makes me feel weaker than I already do.

'He's in here.' He mumbles as if he's afraid of my reaction if he speaks too loudly.

But he should be afraid either way.

Because right now, I want to kill him for telling the others I'm in here.

Within seconds, the room is filled with the others. They're all shouting at me for destroying the house or asking me why I left so suddenly.

All except North.

Because she gets it.

Probably on a whole different level, but she does.

She gets it better than anyone else in this room.

'Are you even listening?!' Nico shouts, shaking me to look up at him.

I look up at him and say absolutely nothing, even though I should.

I just don't know what to say.

'Nico, leave him alone.' Brandon groans, pulling him away from me.

Even after the way I treated him this night, he's standing up for me.

'No, he destroyed-' 'I think everyone should get out of the room.' Marco says, realizing I'm not in the mood for any of this right now.

I know we should probably talk about everything that happened tonight. But I can't.

Not right now.

I just need to... I need space. I need air. I need her.

Fucking hell...

'Who the fuck is going to clean up the mess he made, because-' Just shut the fuck up...

I pull my gun and aim it at Nico, eager to pull the trigger on him.

He's talking too much and I'm sick and tired of this shit.

Everyone goes silent and they all turn to me. 'Rio...' Marco says, trying to warn me of the consequences.

But right now, in this moment, I couldn't care less about the consequences.

She's still there. She's still with him. And if Killian didn't stop me from shooting Hunter, we could've had her by now.

Or I could've gotten her killed in the process...

'Shoot me.' Nico says, looking me dead in the eyes.

He's tired of this shit as well.

Fuck... I lower my gun again and put it back in my pocket, before looking at the floor. I should've talked to her... I should've shot Hunter... I should've- Everyone starts talking again, telling me a bunch of stuff on what I should've done.

After some more bickering, everyone slowly leaves the room. Everyone except North and Marco.

'Neveah, we should give him some-' 'She can stay.' I mumble, feeling her sorrow, her pain.

Maybe even worse than she does.

She watches as Marco heads for the door, mumbling something to her before he leaves, and turns back to me.

For a few minutes, we sit in complete silence, listening to each other breathing, with pain in our chests, our entire bodies.

'She was so close.' I finally whisper, 'And you were right. It was so stupid of us to go to that party.'

'No. It wasn't.' She says, wiping her tears as she moves to the edge of her bed. 'I talked to her.' What?

'North, you-' 'I know. I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. I needed to see if she was okay, I needed to talk to her.'

So did I.

I needed that more than anything in my life.

And I didn't. I couldn't.

Because if I got too close to her, if I heard her voice, if I smelled her scent, I would've dragged her out of there like a maniac and ran.

Ran as fast as I could.

And it would get us killed. It would get us both killed.

'How is she?' I ask, desperately needing to know. 'She seems... Happy.'

No. No, she doesn't. I saw her smile, but she wasn't actually happy with him, right?

'Truly happy?' She looks away, but shrugs. 'I don't know.'

Great.

'She said something about him letting her go free, she enjoys the freedom.' She says, looking at the wooden floor.

There's more. She's keeping things from me.

'But?' She looks up again and stares straight into my eyes.

'You didn't tell her.' She doesn't have to specify what I didn't say, because I know what she's talking about. 'She doesn't know how you feel because you didn't tell her.'

'That's because I didn't know.' I answer honestly.

I don't get why I'm doing this now and I know I'm going to regret it tomorrow.

But I need to get it off my chest.

I need to talk to someone before this shit consumes me and makes me go insane.

More than it already has.

'What do you mean?' She asks, moving to the back of the bed again so that she can lean against the headboard.

'I never knew what love felt like. And nobody told me it would feel like this. I mean I barely knew that I even felt something, until...' I trail off, not wanting to admit to it yet.

'Until she was gone?' That too. She's gone. She's happy with someone else, with Hunter fucking Steel, but that's not it. That's not the worst part.

'No, until she stopped.'

Neveah frowns as she takes in my words and thinks about it for a second.

'Stopped what?' She asks after not understanding what I'm trying to say.

Even though it should be easy.

She should understand it. Because she knows this fear all too well.

'Stopped loving me.' My chest hurts as I say it out loud.

Finally saying it.

It's a relief, I must admit, but it hurts a lot.

Something flashes through her eyes. And I can't tell if it's joy or anger.

Joy because I finally said it. I was honest about how I felt, how I feel towards Valentina and why I was so afraid to say it too.

And anger because it's too late. She's gone and we'll probably never get her back.

I look away, unable to stand that look in her eyes.

'Curse...' She mumbles after a few minutes of silence.

I look at her again and sigh, feeling the pain flow through my veins.

I hate love.

I hate it with every cell in my body.

'She looked happier with you, at Marcello's party.'

Something sparks through me.

Something that slowly fades away the pain.

Something that heats me up in ways just that I need it to.

'She did?' I ask a little skeptical.

Neveah and I never got along. Not like this.

So why would she tell me something like this?

'I've never seen her that happy before,' She smiles a little, thinking back to the party, 'And even tonight, even if she smiled with Hunter, she did not look as happy as she did when she was with you.'

I look at Neveah again and ask her for confirmation, without saying the words.

And she gets it. She understands what I'm feeling right now.

She truly does.

And she nods. She fucking nods.

Every muscle in my body heats up and I feel something flow back into my body.

Hope.

Hope because she thinks, Neveah thinks, that Valentina never stopped loving me.

She still loves me.

Deep down.

'You know,' She looks up at me again and listens carefully, 'for once, I wish you wouldn't have listened to what I said.'

She scoffs and rolls her eyes at me, 'Oh, so now it's my fault again?'

'What did you even talk to her about?' I ask, needing to know more. 'Nothing important.'

I can tell that some hurtful things were said, something that hurt both of them.

'We should go back to the party.' I say, jumping to my feet. Neveah looks at me and smiles, before jumping up as well. 'You read my mind.'

We're out of the room and into the hall when Marco steps out of the living room. 'Where are you two going?'

'We're going back to the party, she might still be there and-' Neveah's trying to explain everything while I open the door and head out.

I don't have to explain myself to any of them.

I'm just going to get my girl back.

'They already left the party.' We all turn to Nico, who's also standing in the hall. 'What?'

'I called my uncle to check if they were still there, they just left.' Fucking great.

We should've never left the party in the first place, god, why wouldn't Killian let me shoot Hunter?!

'So come back inside and-' I ignore them and continue my way down the pathway around the house.

'Rio, get your ass back in here!' Brandon shouts, but I ignore him as well and continue walking.

I need to clear my head.

And I can't do that with all of them around.

I take a seat on a little bench somewhere in the garden and take a deep breath.

Filling my lungs with the fresh night air once again.

I remember that I went out some nights, walking after I watched Valentina fall asleep, just to get myself in check.

She has been driving me insane for months.

She still is. And I hate her for it, but I want to have her here, I want to hate her up close.

I hear a branch snap behind me and look around, noticing North walking over.

'I didn't think you were the type of man to lose your sanity for a girl.' She mumbles, taking a seat on the other side of the bench.

'I didn't either.' I admit, hating every second of doing so.

But I need to get it off my chest, I need to talk to someone before all of this bullshit consumes me.

And the only person kind of understanding what I'm feeling is North.

'I know I keep asking, but you're really in deep huh?' I nod, not wanting to actually say it, and look at the sky.

There are a lot of stars tonight.

'How come you didn't tell her then?' Her questions are annoying as hell, because I don't want to dig up those memories. 'Don't start with me on that, North.'

I hurt her, I know I did, but I did it to protect the both of us.

I was bound to hurt her at some point, so I figured doing it now will make it hurt less?

I don't fucking know.

'I didn't see the point.' I'm not even looking at her, but I can tell she's rolling her eyes at me. 'Now tell me the truth, why didn't you tell her?'

'Why does everything have to become a therapy session?' She keeps her eyes on me, not moving one inch, and awaits my answer to her previous question.

'Why does it matter?' Instead of answering her question with an answer, I ask her another question.

Because I don't want her to actually know.

'It matters because the reason has to be very serious in order for her to forgive you.' She states as if it's the most normal shit ever.

'Forgive me?' She nods and looks me up and down, before looking at me again. 'For what?'

I know exactly what for, but I didn't expect her to know.

She doesn't have to forgive me. We'll never talk about the shit that happened before and go back to the way it was.

Before she said... What she said.

'For cheating on her, for hurting her, for-' Cheating? 'I never cheated on her.' Neveah rolls her eyes and leans back on the bench.

'So you didn't sleep with Molly?' Her tone is bothering me and I'm back to wanting to kill her. 'So you didn't put her through hell because you couldn't say it-' 'Shut up.'

'Admit that you were in denial and tell me why you didn't tell her.'

I get up and walk away, wanting to leave all this shit behind.

'You can't walk away from this.' She says, following me to the trees. 'She was free to be with whoever she wanted.'

'Oh cut the shit! As if you wouldn't have killed the guy she would've slept with!'

I stop walking, feeling Neveah walk into me, and turn around.

'You really want to die, don't you?'

'Maybe I do, just admit it!' She shoves me away from her, even though she's the one bumping into me. 'Stop that.'

She shoves me again, making the urge to shove her back more desirable than ever before.

'North, I'm warning you.' I can see the look in her eyes. She won't drop this until she gets what she wants.

'Say. It.' She shoves me, again and again, tears escaping her eyes. She's crying again...

Another thing I hate about her. She cries all the time.

I shove her back, not hard, but hard enough to make her stumble back. 'Stop touching me, North.'

'You're a piece of shit.' Nothing new. I turn around to walk away again, but she runs past me and looks me up and down, before crossing her arms. 'Do you really think I care?'

'Why are you doing all of this then?' I frown at her, not understanding what the fuck she's talking about at this point. 'Why did you kill those people if you don't fucking care? Why were you willing to shoot Hunter in the middle of the room, if you don't fucking care?!'

'Lower your fucking tone, North. And you know very well why.'

'I don't! Because you keep changing your fucking opinion and I have no idea when you're joking or not because you don't talk about this shit with anyone!' She shouts, keeping her distance even though I can tell she wants to hit me or something.

'Fine! I want her here so that I can hate her.' I hate every word coming out of my mouth. 'You don't want to hate her.'

'I do. I want to hate her. Because that would make it way better than-' I can't fucking say it.

Not yet. Not to North.

If someone is going to hear me say it, it's her.

'I care about her and I hate every second of it.' North walks back to the bench and looks at me as she takes a seat, happy that I'm finally opening up a little, without making it too obvious.

'So you don't hate her,' Why the fuck- 'you just hate the feeling of caring for someone.' She says like she's summarizing something.

'Don't say it like that.' I sneer, watching as a smile forms on her face. 'That's how you say it instead of saying you love her.'

'Whatever you make of it, now can you leave me alone?' She shakes her head and keeps her eyes on me, ready to run after me if I walk away again.

I slowly make my way back to the bench, not feeling the urge to run away anymore since it's basically out already.

I haven't said it, but she knows.

She has known for a while, but she just wanted to hear me say something that would clarify it or shit.

We both go silent for a while, simply looking at the trees in front of us.

'Why didn't you tell her?' I don't dare look at her, knowing the look in my eyes would give everything away within seconds. 'I don't know.'

'You do.' She says. I can see her in the corner of my eyes, looking at the sky to make it less awkward for me. I think.

I want Valentina to be the first to know why. So I won't tell North, even though I can tell that she would love to know. And she won't use it against me.

I know she won't.

She just wants to know.

'Ask me something else and I'll answer honestly.' I say, keeping my eyes on her as she softly smiles, yet keeps her eyes on the stars above.

'Anything?' She asks a little mysteriously, making my heart race.

I don't get why I'm doing this. Especially with her.

I hate North more than anything in the world, but we have the same enemy right now. We have had the same enemy ever since our enemy took Valentina.

Maybe even before that... Now that I think about it...

'Unless you go overboard and I'll have to kill you if I give away too much, yes. Anything.'

She nods, goes silent for a while, and takes a deep breath before looking at me again.

'How did she make you feel?' She asks, making my heart speed up again.

Something flashes through her eyes when she looks at me and it makes me uncomfortable.

I don't want to talk about this shit with her, but I feel like I need to.

For some weird reason.

'A lot.' I answer honestly, making her roll her eyes at me. 'That's not what I-'

'Every time I saw her, it felt like the world paused for a second.' She goes silent and looks back at the trees, allowing me to let the words come out a little easier.

Because she can tell I hate the way she looks at me.

'And then she would smile...' Oh god... 'And it felt like my soul was finally being fed, after years of hunger.'

Her lips curl up again and I wish I just kept my mouth shut, hating every second that she stays silent.

'So you were jealous when she was smiling with Hunter?' My mood instantly drops and I look away. 'I don't give a single shit.'

'There you go again, changing your opinion every goddamn second, it's annoying.' She says, nudging me as if we're friends.

I look at her hand and frown. 'Don't touch me.'

'Okay, now you're just being mean again.' She jumps to her feet and steps away from me a little.

'And you're still annoying. I honestly don't get why Valentina and you are friends.'

Valentina can be annoying as well, but I can endure her. North is someone I seriously can't stand.

'I am a pretty bad friend, aren't I?' She asks softly, looking at the ground.

'You are.' I answer honestly.

She once told me she hates to be babied, so I won't baby her.

'If it wasn't for me she wouldn't have had the tattoo and she would've never met you guys in the first place.'

'I agree with you on the last one, but the first one isn't your fault.' She frowns at my words and looks at me again. 'That was my idea.' 'Didn't Tiago come up with the idea?'

'He mentioned giving both of you those tattoos out of protection, I joked about it being another reason to keep you because he would do anything to keep you, but that's it. And I'm the one who put it in motion.'

The look in her eyes says it all.

She's angry.

Furious even.

'What?' I ask, not getting why she's so mad.

'All this time, I thought it was Tiago's idea and-' 'It was his idea, just with another intention than I told you.' I say, getting up as well.

I'm tired of this conversation and she's getting on my nerves again.

'Wait.' She runs in front of me again, taking a deep breath as she tries to calm herself down. 'What is it, North?'

She still cringes at the way I say her name. Or her last name.

'We're going to work on this together.' I roll my eyes, stepping around her so I can get back inside. 'No, we're not.'

'We both have trouble with it, so let's learn how to do it together!' I stop in my tracks and slowly turn back around. 'What the fuck are you-' 'Expressing our feelings.'

'I don't think you have trouble expressing your feelings for my cousin, North.' I frown at her, wondering what she could possibly have trouble with. 'It's not just about him.'

'Oh, really?' I ask sarcastically, 'Because we all know how much time you two spend together.'

She rolls her eyes and walks over to me, stopping right next to me. 'I'm serious.'

'So am I.' I look her up and down, wondering if she drank anything tonight. Because she seems a lot more comfortable than usual.

And I don't like it one second.

Yet I don't leave?

'There's nothing to work on and if there was, you would be the last person I would work on it with.' I say, taking one step towards the house. She mirrors me and shakes her head, smiling to herself.

'We will do it together.' She says, totally ignoring what I just said.

'What makes you think I would do that with you?' She clicks her tongue and turns to me with a smile. 'It's either me or Marco, and since you're still kind of salty towards Marco because he kissed Leya, I think it's going to be me.'

What- 'There are other people I could talk to about this shit.' I take a few steps, watching as she mirrors me again.

It's annoying the shit out of me, but I guess we both have to head inside.

'You haven't talked about this with Brandon, and you won't start now, because you know he'll make fun of you if you do, Celine is too far away and you're still angry at her for having Kai's child, you won't talk to Marco because you know he has feelings for her, and you don't trust Killian, Nikolai, and Vincent enough to tell them.'

She's so annoying.

But she's right.

'And what makes you think I trust you?' I ask, looking at her. She looks up at me, power flashing through her eyes.

She knows I'm caving in. And I hate it.

'You wouldn't have told me all of this if you didn't.'

I take a deep breath, trying to keep myself from shoving her face against the ground and beating the shit out of her.

Not because I want to hurt her. I just want to hurt someone.

And her questions and spot-on observations are making me go insane.

'And you would've told me to leave like you did to the others,' She steps around me, towards the door, and places her hand on the handle, before turning back to me, 'but you didn't.'

And with those words hanging in the air, she heads inside.

Leaving me all alone outside, with a million thoughts running through my mind.

I shake everything off and head inside, hearing everyone bicker in the dining room.

They cleaned most of the glass and made sure that most of the shit was clean.

Everyone has a bottle filled with something, something strong since I can smell it from down the hall.

'Can someone call Vincent?' Everyone stops talking and looks at me while North drops into an empty chair next to Brandon.

'Took you long enough to come up with that, but we've already done that. He can't get in without permission which they won't give, so there's nothing he can do.' Killian chimes, gulping down on his bottle.

'She can't be that far, right?' North asks, looking at all of us. Nico chuckles and rolls his eyes at her. 'Russia is big, Zayka, you should know that.' Nico says, laughing a little.

He's drunk... Great.

'So? She was at the party, she can't be that far.' North looks at me, as if I'm supposed to pick her side with this.

I wish it was that simple as well, but there's no way they're still in Russia.

'And Vincent can't get in on the comms?' I ask desperately.

If we have those, if he can tap in on anything, we could get her back right now.

'Nothing. They won't let us in for free.' Nico mumbles, shoving his bottle on the table. 'I'll pay them, what do they need-' 'They don't want money.'

'What do they want?' Nico is obviously tired. But he knows what he signed up for when he agreed to help. 'A necklace.'

He's being vague again.

'What necklace?' He rolls his eyes as he jumps to his feet and looks at me. 'A necklace that belongs to her family.' Nico points at North, but keeps his eyes on me, 'Now I'm heading to bed because it's getting late.' What the fuck?

'Tell me more about that necklace.' I'm not asking, I'm demanding. And I know that rarely works with men like Nikolai, ignorant pieces of shit, but the faster we get this over with, the faster we get Valentina back, the quicker he can get away from me.

'I'm tired, Rafael. So stop pushing me. You two had your rest outside and didn't have to clean up this mess, so let's talk about this shit in the morning.' He says while trying to move past me.

I simply step in his way, keeping my eyes on him before he pulls something on me. 'Move.'

'Tell me what necklace they're talking about.' I say, my voice filled with anger. Because that's what he's doing.

Angering me.

He steps closer, trying to act all tough and shit, annoying the shit out of me. 'You should've just let Neveah grab her and leave after that, but you were too messed up to do that, weren't you?'

I stay put, not moving one inch as he moves as close as he can get, glaring at me with his blue eyes.

'Okay, that's enough.' Marco tries to pry himself in between us, making sure Nico stays away from me.

But I feel like it should be the other way.

See, I don't need this shit right now.

'He can't tell us anything, because his uncle is already sleeping and he only said something about a necklace that belonged to Neveah's family.' Killian says, also heading over to us. 'So we'll handle this shit tomorrow.'

Killian throws his arms around Nico and pulls him out of the room, towards their rooms.

I head over to the table, drop into one of the chairs, and grab a bottle left on the table, before taking a long sip.

'We have something else to discuss.' Marco says as he heads to a chair as well. I look at him for a second, thinking about what Neveah said.

Am I still salty about him kissing Valentina?

Maybe.

'What is it?' I ask, waiting for him to speak about another problem we might have. 'Nadora, we still don't know what he's up to. Not really.'

But he has an idea. An assumption.

'Spiega.' He leans forward a bit, looking at North and Brandon, before looking at me.

I'm too exhausted to tell them to leave, and I know North will ask me about this shit at some point, so I don't see the point in sending her away anymore.

As long as she keeps her mouth shut.

'Continua.' I say, taking another sip of the bottle. Marco nods, a little impressed that I'm not shouting at them to get the fuck out, before clearing his throat.

'Nadora needs an heir.' He says, making me frown for a second.

But he's right. His son died.

He's heirless.

And that's the thing he fears.

Not having an heir.

'I think he wants Cataleya to produce him that heir,' He says, looking at Neveah, before quickly turning back to me, 'or maybe more.'

No. Not happening.

Over my fucking dead body.

There's no way she's going to give him heirs.

No fucking way.

'She wouldn't go to someone like him.' Is the first thing that comes to mind. She might find him attractive, but she wouldn't go to him. He's too toxic, too evil.

Especially to women, which would only make her dislike him more.

Right?

'North?' I look at her, hoping for her to say the words I need to hear right now.

'Who is Nadora and why would he want Cataleya to give him children?' She asks, not knowing what the hell happened tonight.

'Jayson Nadora is an old acquaintance of ours, they say he killed his wife, and apparently, his son passed away not so long ago. He doesn't have an heir and he really wants them. He would probably use Cataleya to get those heirs and then kill her.' Brandon explains.

My blood starts boiling for the thousandth time tonight, and I feel like I'm going to throw up.

And I can tell that Neveah is feeling something as well.

'She won't go for him.' Brandon sighs and looks at her. 'You said she wouldn't fall for Rio either, but oh well.' He says, making her eyes widen.

Well... She kicks him and looks at me, her eyes filled with worry. 'What do we do about him?'

We should kill him. Eliminate our next enemy before he gets too close. Before he takes her away from me because she has given him enough heirs.

But instead of saying what I think we should do, I say what we should actually do: 'We wait.'

'What?' Marco and Brandon ask in unison, while North simply looks at me. 'We can't attack if we don't have anything yet.'

They think about it for a second as Killian slips back into the room, grabbing one of the remaining bottles on the table.

'What did I miss?' He asks, handing his bottle to North who eagerly takes a sip. 'Another enemy.' She says, cringing because of the bitter taste.

'Interesting.' Killian chimes, quickly glancing at Brandon with a weird look I haven't seen on his face before.

'So what's the plan?' Everyone says what they think is best, and I listen to all of their ideas.

I realize that North is deep in thoughts and wait for her to answer the question.

But she doesn't.

She usually has a lot to say.

'North.' She looks at me, 'What do you think?'

'About what?' She asks a little confused. 'Sorry, my mind was somewhere else.'

'I asked what the smartest move would be from this point on.' Killian says.

'We should keep a close eye on them, so we can attack when they settle.'

Heard that before.

'We can talk about this more tomorrow, right?' Brandon asks, before looking at me.

I'm fine with everyone leaving. As long as North tells me what's on her mind. For some reason...

'We'll talk tomorrow morning.'

Everyone gets up and leaves. Everyone except North.

'We should head to our rooms as well.' She mumbles, slowly getting up.

'No, tell me where your mind is.' For once, I don't care about anything else.

Something's on her mind.

And I want to know.

'Cataleya.' She admits, sitting back down.

'Elaborate.' I knew it had something to do with her. With what she saw or heard tonight.

'I noticed something.' She says, before slowly inhaling. Her breath trembles as she lets it out.

'Something I didn't notice with you. I'm her best friend and I should've known when she would be falling in love with someone, right? But it was the first time she ever fell in love and I-' 'Neveah.' I have to cut her off, otherwise she'll be talking until tomorrow morning.

'Right,' She shakes her head to get herself back together, and nods, 'I fear she's going in a direction she shouldn't be going.'

'Which is?' If she's suggesting what I think she is, I'll explode.

'I fear she's going to fall in love with Hunter.' Fuck.

Within seconds, the bottle in my hand shatters, cutting my skin, but I feel absolutely nothing.

Fuck.

If I don't kill someone right now, I'll go insane.

'We won't let that happen.'

'We don't even know where she is right now.' She whispers, a little afraid to say it louder as she looks at my hand.

My vision starts to blur and I want to tell North to get the fuck out before I lash out at her.

I don't want to do that to her. Even if she's annoying ass hell, I can't do that to her.

'And I know she's smart, but I see the way Hunter looks at her.'

If she loves him, she'll forget about me.

She can't fall in love with him.

Because if she does, I'll lose her forever.

No.

I can't let that happen.

My body responds and before I know it, I'm on my feet.

'We'll get her out before she does. Go to bed.' I say as I head to the front door.

I need to get the fuck out of here.

I need to hit something, hurt someone, kill someone.

But I can't attract too many people.

If only Killian would've just let me shoot Hunter at the party, then all of this would be over.

But killing won't be enough.

I'll kill him eventually, but I want to torture him first.

People can do worse things than just killing you.

They can torture you in the worst ways possible by taking the ones you care about the most.

It's like it's all a game.

I found out that Hunter fucking Steel knows exactly what cards he needs to play to get to me.

And I'm afraid I'm letting him win.

----

A/N: ..... Yes.

Don't kill me, thank you.

I know I'm late, but MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE <3 I hope ya'll had a fun christmas even though covid is still around...

Thanks for over 700k reads on Crisis of Desire.... I just can't believe it... OH MY FUCKING GOD!

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE <3

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I hope to see you all in the next chapter, have a good day everyone!