{TRIGGER WARNING! EXPLICIT CONTENT! DO NOT READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT, THANK YOU! Otherwise, enjoy!}



I hear Nikolai struggling on the other side of the door and knock, waiting for him to let me in.

'Who is it?' He asks, the sounds stopping instantly. 'It's me.'

He moves around again and I can hear glass shatter on the other side of the door, before I hear a loud thud.

I open the door and look inside, noticing that he's struggling to get back on the bed.

And the glass was a bottle of water, something he's not drinking. What he is drinking though, looks a lot more like whiskey.

'What the fuck are you doing?' I ask as I move closer to him.

The strong smell of whiskey fills my nostrils and I frown at him, waiting for an explanation. 'I'm just having a drink, can you help me up the bed.'

Since he's still struggling to climb his big ass on the bed, I help him a little before I take the bottle from his grip and place it on his nightstand.

'You shouldn't be drinking.' He rolls his eyes and tries to get a little comfortable. 'I don't really give a fuck.'

'I can tell.' I mutter, walking to the other side of his bed, 'You might as well pull the stitches out and bleed to death.'

He chuckles softly, staring at the stitches on his leg.

Three lines running up his leg.

'I might as well, right?' He jokes, making me wonder if he's legit or not. 'So what brings you to my humble abode, Neveah?'

I can tell he's drunk and I wonder why no one watched over him, or how he even got the whiskey in the first place.

'I have a question and I need you to be honest.' He nods and pats the empty space on his bed.

I stay put though, not moving an inch as he slightly looks up at me. 'I've never lied to you before, have I?'

Nikolai has never lied to me, at least not that I know of, but I have a feeling he might lie about this.

'Did you say something to piss Tiago off?' He stills again, simply staring at his stitches for a couple of seconds, before he sighs deeply. 'Did he tell you I did?'

'He barely wants to look at me.'

'So you came to me.' He scoffs and tries to move his leg so that he can sit differently. But he quits when he realizes it's not going to work.

'What's that supposed to mean?' I ask, wondering where his bitchy tone is coming from.

'I've been shot three times and I've been operated on for over an hour, yet everyone seems to care more about Leonardo, who barely has a scratch-'

'He got shot too.' He's drunk... He's drunk... He's not thinking clearly.

'In the fucking arm.' He says, reaching for another bottle on the other side of his bed, 'I got shot in the leg multiple times and, according to Celine, I was barely going to make it.'

Celine didn't tell me that. Maybe she did it because she doesn't want to stress me out or maybe it's because it's not true.

But right now, I don't care about that.

'Everyone was with you, so that's a lie.'

He stops trying to twist the cap off of the bottle and stares at me, 'Everyone but you.'

'I was asleep and when I woke up, Brandon told me what happened and I went to check on you guys.' I don't even know why I'm explaining myself.

I shouldn't have to.

'You went to check on him first.' He states, keeping his eyes on me to wait for a reply. And all I do is nod. 'And you decided to look how I'm doing after five hours.'

'Like I said, I was asleep for at least three.' Nico takes a deep breath and focuses on the bottle again, trying to open it by probably twisting it the wrong way.

'Don't you feel happy when you're with me?' He asks after giving up on the bottle, 'Don't you feel free with me?'

'I do, but what does that have to do with any of this?' I know he's trying to talk about his feelings for me again, but I can't have it going that way.

'Don't you feel loved with me?' Fucking... Bitch...

'Nikolai, I did not come here to talk about this shit.' He slowly nods and looks at the bottle again.

'It's because of Leonardo, isn't it?'

'Nico, just stop.'

'Is it not enough?' He asks, reaching for the bottle again.

He shouldn't be moving too much and he certainly should not be drinking if he wants his leg to heal.

'What do you mean?' I ask as I stare at his eyes. He's too focused on the bottle to even bother.

'All I have to offer, is it not enough?' He says, gritting his teeth that he has to clarify. 'It's more than enough, Nikolai, but-'

'Then why won't you choose me?' I don't know why, but a piece of my heart breaks for him. 'I wish I could.'

'You can, Veah.' He mutters, moving to the edge of his bed, 'You fucking can.'

I shake my head and take a step back, away from him before he takes this the wrong way.

Which he probably already has.

He stares at me and blinks a few times, just taking me in. Also acknowledging the fact that I stepped away from him.

When he realizes that he's staring at me, he turns back to the bottle, still struggling to open it.

'This fucking bottle, I swear to god Killian probably glued it together.' He complains, almost throwing the bottle on the floor out of frustration.

'Killian brought you the alcohol?' I notice the other bottles in the room just now. 'So what if he did?'

'I don't think you should be drinking right now-' 'Are you calling him a bad friend?' He asks, an accusing tone in his voice.

I shake my head and watch as his lips curl up a little. 'Good, because unlike some people, he's a good friend.'

I don't get why I'm still here.

I mean, I could probably hang out at Celine's house for a while, or go search for Victoria. Anything else instead of spending time with Nico right now.

But I just want to know what happened between him and Tiago.

Because something happened.

'What's that supposed to mean?' I ask while I take the bottle away from him. He hands it to me, probably thinking I'll open it for him.

Instead, I put it on the little dresser on the other side of the room, hoping that he won't get out of bed to grab it.

'You're a shit friend, Neveah.' He states, his voice as emotionless as can be, 'And I'm not talking about me, because we all no you suck at making your mind up sometimes.'

'What are you talking about then?' I ask with gritted teeth, feeling the tears sting behind my eyes.

'I'm talking about the part where you act all innocent and sensitive. When in reality you're just a bitch who only cares about herself.' His words feel like a stab in the heart, but I stay still.

'Or maybe the part where you went straight back to fucking the man who caused you so much hell the second you got the opportunity. Not to forget, he's the reason your best friend was with the Steels for three fucking months.' He continues nonchalantly.

It's like he's talking to himself, but he's staring right at me.

He knows he's hurting me and he wants to hurt me.

Because I hurt him.

'Or the part where you acted like you cared about your best friend, but you actually didn't. And now that Leonardo doesn't want you because he thinks you're used, you come crawling back to me.'

Every ounce of faith I have for this relationship, this friendship, burns away in front of my eyes.

And it hurts like hell.

'You make my life miserable, and everyone that has ever met you or will cross paths with you in the future will feel the same.' I fucking hate you...

'Celine, Brandon, Victoria, and Cataleya deserve so much better than such a shitty friend like you.'

My entire body starts hurting with everything that's coming out of his mouth right now, but somehow I'm still standing.

And somehow I'm not crying yet.

'Was that it?' I ask, my voice trembling like crazy. He shakes his head and smiles at me. 'Not even half of it.'

'Go on.' I want to get this over with. I want this to be done.

'I hate you.' He says. His voice used to be cold, especially at the beginning of all of this, but this, the tone he's using to talk to me right now, is nothing compared to the one he had before.

It's even colder. Freezing me on the spot while slowly crushing my bones and muscles.

'I know.' I manage, slowly freezing to death in this room.

He shakes his head and closes his eyes for a second.

'I regret ever meeting you.'

His eyes lock with mine again. Nothing but sincerity in those ocean blue eyes of his.

'It's the biggest regret I have and it will probably be my biggest regret until I die, Neveah. Do you want to know why?' No.

'Why?' I ask instead, ignoring my head shouting at me not to listen to a word he has to say.

Because I know my heart will break because of his answer. I just know he'll hurt me just so that he's not the only one hurting.

I don't want to hurt him, but at this point, it's the only possible thing to do. Because just leaving it as it is will hurt him too.

'Because I gave you my heart, I gave you everything I had, and you broke me.'

'I didn't want to break you.' I reply honestly, not wanting him to think that I did. 'But you did.'

I'm not going to apologize to him after all he said.

There might be a lot of truth in what he said, but he had no right to talk to me like that. At least not like this.

'What happened between you and Tiago.' He mutters something under his breath and shakes his head, laughing at the fact that I'm still here. Asking him a stupid question.

Because it shouldn't matter.

Especially after all the shit he just said, it shouldn't fucking matter.

But it does.

'I told him that he should let you go if he really cared about you, so that you could be with me.' He chuckles and points at himself, before trying to point at me.

But he's all over the place and can barely keep his arm up. 'Can you imagine?'

No. And I don't want to either.

'Why would you say shit like that?' He knew it would start more drama. And we don't need more drama right now.

'Because I want you, Neveah.' Are you fucking kidding me?

He kicked me to the ground with words and expects me to believe a thing coming out of his mouth right now?

'I don't want you Nico.' I state, trying to keep my voice steady still. 'Then I'm leaving.'

Killian and Vincent won't like him leaving, they will miss him a lot, but maybe it's best if he leaves.

At least until after the wedding so that we can all take time.

Or maybe I should leave and just- No. I promised Leya I would help with all the wedding shit going on.

All I do is nod as it clicks for the both of us.

This is it.

This is the end of whatever it was that was forming between us.

A one-sided relationship or a friendship.

Whatever it was, it's gone now.

'Okay.' My answer settles in his mind, the last pieces of the puzzle falling in place.

'You don't want me to stay?' He asks, his voice drenched with pain. 'If you want to go, I'm not going to stop you.'

He straightens his back and frowns at me this time, slowly moving his legs to the side of the bed so that they hang over the side.

'Alright.' Before I can react, he's trying to get on his feet. 'What are you doing?'

'I'm leaving.' He groans as he drags himself across the room, straight past me, towards the door.

I follow him into the hall and keep my eyes on him, watching as he struggles to move through the hall.

'Shouldn't you-' 'Shut the fuck up and just let me go, please Neveah.'

He turns back to me with tears in his eyes, having a hard time standing on both feet.

'If you don't want to be with me, let me go.' I don't want to be with him, so I'll let him go.

Just not now.

Even if I don't want to be with him, he's hurt. He shouldn't be moving too much.

'Are you sure you want to leave right now?' It's getting late and the others are probably all headed to bed. 'Why should I stay?'

'You're hurt.' He chuckles and turns back around, stumbling over to the door.

He's in so much pain, but he's too stubborn to give in and fights through it.

'I don't give a fuck right now.' He walks through the front door and leaves me in the hall, frozen on the spot.

And just like that, he's gone.

I take a deep breath and hear another door open behind me.

'What's going on?' It's Killian. And he sounds like he just woke up.

'Nico left.' I whisper, trying to process what just happened.

It's as if I'm stunned or something. Too stupid to form a full sentence.

'What do you mean he left?' He asks, his voice coated with concern.

Killian walks over to me, grabbing my arm to turn me towards him. 'Neveah, where the fuck is he?'

'He left.' I repeat, looking at Killian who does not look as sleepy as I thought he was. 'Where did he go?'

'I don't know.' I answer, watching as Killian starts to panic. 'You mean you let him get out of bed.'

I must admit, I didn't really try to keep him in the bed, but I didn't want him to stay around because I would probably just hurt him.

'Neveah... What the fuck?' He brushes past me, right after Nico, leaving me in the hall again.

I can hear a car start in the distance and wonder if it's Nico, but I stay in the hall, staring at the open door.

Nikolai Brovsi just ended whatever was going on between us.

And he wanted to leave without saying a word to the others.

I walk out of the house and close the door behind me, taking some time to process what just happened.

Celine used to sit at the fire pit at the end of the vineyard all the time, and I decide to walk over there.

I drop onto the bench and take a deep breath, letting all the air cleanse my lungs for a second.

Because it felt like my lungs were stained.

Stained with air that's thick enough to fucking choke me.

"Celine, Brandon, Victoria, and Cataleya deserve so much better than such a shitty friend like you."

Despite trying to ignore the echoes of his voice in my head, it's impossible. Because he's right.

I have been a shitty friend to everyone.

"When in reality you're just a bitch who only cares about herself"

With everything that happened before, the whole Leya getting dragged into this mess, the whole Celine getting sold, the whole fucking Tiago and neglecting Leya because of it. And not just that.

There's so much more.

And I've been ignoring it all.

"They deserve so much better than such a shitty friend like you."

I hate that I can't ignore what he said and move on like it didn't happen.

I stare at the sky, the dark blue empty sky, and take another deep breath, wishing that the air could erase my memory as well.

But of course, it doesn't.

I'm stuck with those negative comments going through my mind, on repeat like a fucking broken record.

"You're just a bitch who only cares about herself"

There are a lot of things I could've done differently.

Especially since I met the Curzio's. Not that I can blame them for the decisions I've made throughout my life, but ever since I've met them my life has been fucked up.

And thinking back on it, I should've done a lot of things differently.

But for some reason, I didn't.

Because I didn't pay attention to the other shit going on when I was busy with... Tiago...

It's like everything just blurred away, like everything went to the back of my head and never returned.

Like my entire life revolved around our relationship and no one else.

It's because I wasn't thinking straight or because I was thinking about how it would end up because I didn't want to face the problems. And I still don't.

And that's bad. That's really, really bad.

It's fucked up and I realize how bad it is.

Something that should've happened years ago.

It feels like I'm spiraling down a dark hole again, slowly losing it like I did at the beginning of all of this.

I love Tiago with my whole being, but whenever I'm around him I turn into someone else.

I mean, I'm still myself, I just ignore everyone and anything else around us.

And it's not his fault, that's for sure. Fucking... Hell...

'Aren't you supposed to be asleep?' I almost fall off the bench when I hear Vincent's voice coming from behind me.

I look over my shoulder and watch as he walks around the bench to come and sit next to me.

'I took a long ass nap, so I should be asking you.' I say, watching as he slumps down a little. 'I'm not really in the mood to sleep right now.'

'Did something happen?' I would love to talk about anything else right now, but I can tell he's not in the mood to talk about whatever is bothering his mind right now.

'Maybe, but I think we should talk about what happened with you and Nico first.' How does he know already?

'I was going to check up on him but his room was empty, so I texted Killian and he told me Nico left and that he was dropping him off.' Right...

'We had a fight.' He nods and stares at the empty pit. 'What happened?'

'He said some petty shit, didn't he?' I shrug and keep my eyes on the vineyard ahead.

'He actually said some accurate stuff.' Vincent tilts his head a little, probably grinning to himself.

'Like what?' I didn't want to think about it, but I feel like I have to at some point.

'He pointed out what a shitty friend I am.'

He turns to me with a frown on his face. 'He said that?'

I nod and smile a little, 'He did.'

'You're not.' He says, looking back at the pit, 'you're a good friend.'

'I think he's right.' I say, staring at the pit as well. 'Why would you say that?'

'I have so many reasons to count, Vince.' He shakes his head and I notice that he's staring at his phone. But it's not on.

'You're not a bad friend, Veah.' He repeats, looking back at me, 'I have never met someone who helps their friend with a kid as much as you.'

A smile forms on his face as he continues, 'And everything you did to get Leya back, are you kidding me?'

He gives me a little push and I can't help but smile a little.

'I'm the reason she's in this mess though.'

'What is this mess?' He asks with a frown on his face, 'She's engaged to the love of her life, so what mess are you talking about?'

'The killing, the threats, the torture, the danger,' I state, taking a shaky breath, 'She wouldn't have to endure all of it if I didn't get her involved with the Curzio's.'

'Rafael and Cataleya are soulmates, don't you think?'

I nod, because they certainly are, but wonder what he's trying to say with it.

'I think they would've found each other one way or the other.'

'Maybe, but I am the one who put her in danger- more than once might I add, and I didn't even consider it because I was too busy focusing on my relationship with Tiago.'

'Because you're in love.' Stop it.

He keeps countering everything I say and it's annoying. But at the same time I love him for it.

'I think I need a break.'

'From what?' Life... All of this... It's exhausting.

'Everything.' His lips curl up a little as he leans back against the bench and stares ahead again. 'Why?'

'Because I'm fucked up in the head.' I take a shaky breath, feeling a tear roll down my cheek, 'And I need to work on that before I continue with anyone or anything.'

'So you just want to leave?' He asks curiously. I shake my head and sigh deeply as I wipe my tears away.

I shouldn't be fucking crying right now.

'I promised Leya I would help with all the wedding shit, so I will.'

'And after that?' His question send my mind into oblivion, making me think about every possible outcome.

I was going to leave after the wedding anyway, but does it have to be permanent?

Yes. It probably should. Or not, I don't fucking know anymore.

'I think I want to travel the world.' I answer instead, because it's something that might help, 'You know, I'll be like most women in their twenties. I'll travel the world and find myself.' I add with a smile.

It's a joke, but it might be the truth.

I might change if I travel. I might get stable in the head again. I might...

'Can I show you something?' He asks, looking at me again. I nod and watch as he opens his phone, keeping it away from me as he debates his choices. 'Promise me you won't tell anyone.'

'I won't.'

He takes another shaky breath and shows me his phone.

I frown at what I see on his screen and look back at him.

It's a picture of Celine, Leroy... And Kai. Laying in the same bed, all cozy and comfortable.

'What is-' 'She went to put Leroy to bed and then Kai said he wanted to talk to her. They fought first but when I went to check on them after two hours, I found them like this.' He answers slowly.

It's clear that he's in pain, and I understand, but it's probably not what he thinks it is.

Celine cares about Vincent. A lot.

'It's not what you think it is.' He shakes his head and stares at the picture again. 'I was stupid to think that I stood a chance.'

'You do, Vince. She cares a lot about you.'

'She has a son with him, Veah. How am I supposed to come in between that?' He asks desperately, 'I can't ruin that for them.'

'Vincent, you're not ruining anything for anyone. She's happy with you.' I repeat, but it doesn't seem to get through to him.

We both go silent for a while, floating in our own heads as we think about everything going on right now.

I feel bad for Vincent because he probably thinks that Celine wants to get back with Kai, which last time I checked, she didn't.

But I do get where he's coming from.

'How about we just leave?' He asks, turning back to me again. I frown at his question and wait for him to explain. 'We just go and travel the world together, just the two of us.'

'Why?' I ask a little confused why he would ask me out of all people. 'Because we could both use some time off.'

'I don't know.'

'I need time to clear my head and let Celine have a happy family with Kai and Leroy, while you can have some time off and fall in love with yourself again.' Fall in love with yourself again...

'It's not that I hate myself right now-' 'But you don't love yourself either.' I certainly don't.

'So what do you think?' He asks, giving me a little push. 'I think that you should talk to Celine first before you start to make some extreme decisions.'

'I will,' He chimes, smiling a little, 'but what do you think?'

'And where would we go?' I play along, actually getting a little excited about it. 'Anywhere we want, we could go to Brazil, Morocco, Portugal- as long as it's somewhere warm.'

I can't help but smile at his excitement as he continues to list some countries we could go to.

'We won't leave until after the wedding.' He adds, waiting for a reply. 'I'll think about it.'

There's still some other stuff I have to do before we leave. If we leave.

'Alright.' He says as he slowly gets back on his feet, 'we should probably go sleep as well.'

I nod and follow his lead back to the houses, watching as he walks towards Celine's place again. I just hope he'll talk to her.

Because I'm sure she can explain.

I make my way back to Tiago's place and head to Victoria's room. She's still asleep, off in dreamland.

If we go... Should I take her with me?

I should probably let her decide, because she really likes spending time with the others.

I wish I could be as clueless as she is right now.

After staring at her like some weirdo for at least five minutes, I walk over to the bedroom and peek inside.

Tiago's also sleeping peacefully.

I just want to hold him and never let him go, tell him that everything has to work out in the end, but I don't know if it will.

I silently make my way to the closet and grab some clothes to change into, before I head back into the bedroom.

Tiago turned around, still sound asleep, so now his back is facing my way.

I stare at his back for a while, imagining holding him, caressing his skin, following the tattoos crawling up his back.

Shit... I know I messed up between us. Especially with everything going on, I didn't act the best towards him.

I walk back into the hall and close the door behind me, taking a deep breath as I make my way back to the living room.

I drop onto the couch and reach for the remote, turning on the tv.

Italian news.

I barely pick up anything, but I see some nature pictures flashing around the screen.

Should I take Vincent's offer? He needs to talk to Celine first.

And I promised Leya I would at least stay until the wedding.

I should probably go to bed as well, but I'm not tired yet.

And my mind is all over the place.

So instead of going to bed, I shuffle through some channels and wait for something to catch my eye.

I end up on a cooking show and the guy is making something that looks like bread.

I reach for the blanket on the other side of the couch and crawl up into the corner, trying to focus on the bread instead of everything going through my head.

It's comfortable and warm and safe.

But it feels strange.

'Neveah?' I look over my shoulder, peeking right over the couch, and watch as Tiago stumbles into the living room. 'Hey.'

I turn down the volume of the tv and sit up, the blanket still covering me. 'Are you okay?'

He nods while walking over to the other side of the couch, taking a seat on the chair across from me.

'I heard Nico left last night.' He states, staring at the table between us. Last night?

I look at the clock on the other side of the room, realizing that it's already six in the morning.

I've been watching people make different types of food for over seven hours straight.

And I don't remember anything but the bread.

'He did.' I answer, for some reason unable to take my eyes off of him.

'Why didn't you go with him?' He finally looks into my eyes and I can see the desperation in his eyes. 'I didn't want to.'

It takes less than a second for him to process what I said, but he keeps himself contained. Even though I can see the excitement in his eyes.

He never wanted me to leave.

He just thought it would be better if I did.

Better for me.

And maybe it was.

But I just couldn't leave like this.

'You didn't?' He asks, leaning forward a little. 'I still don't if that's what you're trying to get at.'

We go silent, simply soaking in each other's presence, enjoying the moment of peace.

'Well, what do you want, Neveah?' Something warm rushes down my spine, settling in my feet, at the way he says my name.

It's melting every ounce of doubt away. As if it was never there.

The answer to his question is simple.

You.

I want him. I want his words, his warmth, his body, his soul, his laugh, his comfort, his love. I just want him and no one else.

But if I say it like that, he might not accept it. He might think that I'm rushing into things, which I might be.

But it's the truth.

I want him.

Him and no one else.

But what about everyone else?

'There's still a lot I need to work on.' Something changes in his eyes and I wonder if it's because of what I said, or because he realized that I'm not ready yet.

Either way, it's not going in the direction I thought it would.

'But I want you, Tiago.' I add, hoping that I'm clear enough for him to understand.

Excitement sparks through his eyes again and he jumps to his feet, the sudden movement startling me a little.

'Really?' He asks, his voice coated in excitement as well.

'Yes.' I answer with a smile on my face, unable to keep it in anymore.

All this fighting and miscommunicating has been exhausting and I'm sick and tired of it.

He strides over to me, aching to take me in his arms, I can tell, and simply stares at me.

He doesn't want to rush me, he doesn't want to cross my boundaries, he doesn't want to scare me.

And it's making my heart race like crazy.

I get up and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging the man I love with all I have until he asks me to loosen my grip a little.

'I love you, cara.' He whispers into my neck. I ignore the fear trying to take this moment from me, and kiss his neck instead. 'I love you too.'

We slowly let go of each other and take a seat on the couch, laying in each other's arms while time goes by.

I play with his hand and can't stop smiling because of all of this.

I'm laying in the arms of a man, without having a heart attack.

And it's not just any man, it's the man I want more than anything in the world.

'Tell me if it gets too much.' He whispers as he rubs my arm with his free hand, 'I don't want to make you feel like shit or-' 'I know.' I say as I tilt my head to look at his face.

'And you won't. I promise.' I kiss his jaw and smile when I still don't feel the fear creeping back in my vision. 'I'll tell you when it gets too much.'

I can't help but dissolve in his arms, never wanting to leave this couch again.

But what about after the wedding?

I still have to think about so much and I don't know where to start.

Little footsteps sound in the distance and I wait for someone to appear.

'Neveah?' It's Victoria. 'In the living room.'

Her footsteps echo through the house and she runs into the living room, smiling when she sees me on the couch.

She's still wearing her pajamas, her face a mess because she just woke up.

'Everything okay?' I ask as I sit up straight. She nods and wipes her face as she walks over to me, and I pull her into my arms.

'Why are you up so early?' Leon asks, sitting up behind me.

His arms go around my waist and I can't help but feel something warm rush through me.

'Cataleya said we were going to the beach today and I'm excited, don't you remember?' She asks, looking at me. When did that...

'I don't know what time, so I woke up early because I didn't want to be late.'

I smile at her and pull her into my arms, hugging her tightly.

She's the absolute cutest kid I've ever met.

'I don't think Leya will be waking up for at least a couple more hours.' I reply, slowly letting go of her again.

'So I can go back to sleep?' She asks, smiling a little. I nod and watch as she runs out of the room again, probably heading back to bed.

'Adriano was right.' Tiago mutters against my neck, 'You are her mom.'

I tilt my head a little and look at him, wondering what he means by that.

Because I just told her she could go back to bed.

'I think I'm going to sleep for a while too.' He nods and follows me towards the hall, stopping at the stairs when I head to the kitchen first. 'I'll come up in a second.'

He stays at the end of the stairs and watches as I walk into the kitchen, waiting for me to follow him up.

But I need to get some water first.

I reach for a bottle and drink some, quickly staring at my phone.

Last night I searched for ways to get over all the shit that happened. A bunch of articles about how therapy is the best option.

Until I ran across that one article that had a different approach.

It said I had to get used to my own body before I could ever do something with anyone else.

The tabs are still open and I read the article again. It's about intimacy after an assault, and for once, it sounds like a good plan.

Should I do it now... Or?

I sigh deeply and take another sip from the bottle, before turning back to the hall.

Tiago is not standing there anymore, meaning he probably went back to the room.

With nerves going through my entire body, I make my way up the stairs and slowly reach for the door.

I step inside and notice him sitting on the edge of the bed, facing me. 'Are you okay?'

I nod and close the door, leaning against it in hopes that it would calm my nerves. And it does. Just a little.

'Touch yourself.' I say, staying by the door while he looks at me as if I'm insane.

'Neveah-' 'Just do it.' He gets up from the bed and takes a step forward, but I raise my hands in front of me and shake my head.

'I'm fine, I promise, just... touch yourself.'

He's curious, I can tell, but he doesn't want to force me into anything.

Even though he won't be forcing me into anything if he does what I ask him to.

'Neveah, you're not ready and that's fine.'

'You're a man with needs, you can't be kept waiting for the rest of your life, so just touch yourself.'

I can't believe that I'm begging him to jack off in front of me.

'Unless you don't want to and-' He sighs as he unbuckles his belt and pulls his pants down before I can even finish my sentence.

'Are you sure?'

I keep my eyes on his, fighting the urge to look down, and nod. 'Mhm.'

He takes another deep breath and slowly lowers his hand into his boxers, letting a moan escape his perfect lips as he starts stroking himself.

'Show me.' I breathe, leaning against the wall behind me. 'Nev-' 'Please.'

He keeps his eyes on mine as he lowers his boxers with his other hand, all while continuing to move his hand up and down his shaft. Fuck.

'Don't stop.' I whisper as I keep my eyes on his and slowly bring my hand towards my shorts. 'What are you-' 'Don't question.'

I shutter when I reach my clit, a sharp pain shooting through me for a second.

Even my own hands scare me, but I don't want to stop.

I won't allow myself to stop.

The pain dissolves when I meet Tiago's dark eyes in front of me.

It's like he's drowning at the sight of me, taking in every inch of my skin, anticipating my next move, my next sound, my next facial expression.

Anything.

My body fills with desire and I can't help but slide a finger into my pussy, moaning when I feel my own wetness from within.

I slowly drag my eyes down his body and watch as he pumps his hand up and down his dick, stroking every inch of him. 'Faster.'

He follows my command and goes faster, his tip getting wetter and wetter. 'Keep looking at me.' He moans, his muscles hardening, 'Just like that, fuck.'

I rub my clit harder, almost folding forward at the sensation rushing through me.

I try to keep myself stable against the door, but my legs are getting weaker by the second. 'Keep going, cara.' He breathes across the room.

It feels like he's right by my side, guiding my hands the right way.

I drag my other hand up, underneath my shirt, and take my breast in hand. 'Tiago-'

Something warm starts to form in my stomach, quickly expanding to every other part of my body.

I try keeping my eyes on him, but it's getting harder and harder. 'I can't-'

I can't finish my sentence as my orgasm strikes me like lightning. I have to lean back against the door even harder to keep myself up and try to focus on the man in front of me.

Everything is hazy, but I can see his eyes clearer than ever before.

He's still stroking himself while he keeps his eyes on me.

'Come for me Tiago.' I mumble while I try to keep my eyes on him, 'Please.'

I need him to finish.

'Fuck.' He watches as I slowly let my arms hang beside me, too tired to move.

He gets up and walks my way, not once stopping his hand from pumping up and down his shaft. 'I need you to touch me, Veah.'

He stops a few steps away from me, waiting for me to give him a sign, any sign, for him to know that I'm ready for this.

'Come closer.' I want to touch him, but I can't move right now.

He takes the last step and places his right hand next to my face, keeping his eyes on mine. 'I-' I slowly place my hand on his, following his movement and adding more pressure.

'Take off your shirt.' I want to feel his skin again. He removes his hand from his dick and quickly takes off his shirt before he leans in again.

'Fuck.' He mutters, leaning even closer, 'Don't stop.'

My heart is racing and I don't think it's because I'm scared. It's because I love seeing him like this.

I gasp for air when I feel his lips on my neck again, and try to keep myself from letting go of him entirely.

'Kiss me.' I whisper as I stroke a little faster, covering his tip with the palm of my hand.

He kisses me and makes everything go hazy again when he slowly slides his hand down my stomach, ending at the edge of my pants. 'Can I?'

I nod breathlessly and slow down my hand movement, waiting for him to touch me.

He slips his hand down my shorts and slowly makes his way to my clit, stroking it oh so gently.

It's perfect.

I shudder against his chest as I pull him closer, not wanting to let him go ever again.

'Slower.' He mutters against my lips, making me smile a little. He's close.

I go slow again, feeling him melt underneath my touch, and listen to his sounds.

His groans, his moans, his breathing. Just all of him.

'Shit- Veah.' I didn't realize that I was going a little too fast until he fastens his pace as well, sending me over the edge again.

I let myself go, allowing everything to happen, and slump down a little.

He catches me, shoving himself further into my grip, and comes all over my stomach as he presses us both against the door.

I can't stop smiling as I try to collect myself again, slowly letting go of his dick, and stare at the mess we made.

'Where did you get that trick from?' He asks, lifting my chin to meet his gaze. 'I read about it online.' I admit.

'Really?'

I nod my head and kiss his cheek, feeling the heavy weight on my legs as I come down from the euphoria.

'There are five steps to get over this shit.' He takes a step back and pulls his boxers and shorts up a little, before he quickly heads to the bathroom and comes back with a towel.

'What's the next step?' He asks as he wipes his cum off my stomach, all while trying to keep me from falling.

'I don't know yet.' I answer as I lean against his chest, 'I didn't finish reading the article yet.'

His eyes work like a magnet, pulling me closer without actually doing a thing.

'But I'm sick of waiting.' I whisper, pressing my hand flat on his chest.

His heart is beating like crazy and I can't help but smile a little.

'Neveah-' 'Make me forget their touch, their kisses, their everything.' I whisper against his lips, trying to keep reminding myself that it's him I'm standing in front of and no one else.

'Make me forget about them.'

'How?' He asks a little ashamed that he's even asking.

'Like this.' I mutter before pressing my lips on his, dragging him down into a slow and heated kiss.

'But slow.' I drag my lips down his jaw, leaving kisses on his warm skin, and slowly make my way to his neck. 'Very slow.'

He nods and leans his head back, trying to keep himself contained as his hands slowly make their way to my waist.

'Like this?' I nod and suck on his skin, hearing those delicious moans of his rumble through his chest. 'More.'

He slowly moves his hands down, all the way to my thighs, and pulls me closer.

It's like a flash of light, making my lungs shut for some reason, and he instantly pulls his hands away.

'I'm sorry.' He whispers into my hair, letting me lean against his chest. 'Don't be- I just- It's fine.'

'No, you need more-' 'We'll take it slow.' I say, looking up at him with tears in my eyes.

He nods and kisses my forehead, before gently grabbing my face. 'We'll take it slow.'

I nudge him towards the bed and lie down next to him, watching as his chest goes up and down slowly, hearing him breathe.

But I know it's him. I can feel him. Just him and no one else.

'I didn't mean to hurt you.' I whisper, staring at the stitches on his shoulder. I let my hand hover over the wound, wishing I could magically heal him somehow. 'Sometimes you hurt the people you love.'

'I don't want to hurt you, Tiago.' He places another kiss on my forehead and smiles. 'I know.'

I take a deep breath, letting the clean air fill my lungs.

It's clean because it's new.

It's a new start.

And I won't mess it up this time.

'I'm sorry too, cara.' I frown as I look up into his hazel eyes. 'I shouldn't have said all those things. I shouldn't have told you to go with Nico when all I wanted was to hold you in my arms.'

'I'm here now.' I whisper as I push myself up a little. 'You're here now.' He replies before he kisses me deeply, letting us drown in the moment.

----

A/N: For everyone who wanted a Nico and Neveah Ship, do you still want that to happen... or?

SO CELINE AND KAI ARE KINDA GETTING BACK TOGETHER, or are they????

ANYWAYS! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, please don't forget to vote and comment on what you liked the most! It really keeps me motivated!

I hope you guys have a lovely day/night! See you guys in the next chapter! <3