I hold my hand in front of the door and take a deep breath before I knock.

No one responds but I can hear voices on the other side of the door.

Voices I don't recognize at all, but they don't sound very happy.

I debate if I should knock again or just come by later and look down the hall to see if Marco's still there.

But just like he said, he left to do something Rio ordered him to do.

I decide to just knock one more time before going back to check up on Veah, but this time, I can hear a chair scrape across the floor.

'Come in.' Something rushes through me at his hard voice, and I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but I open the door and peek inside.

Three older men are seated around the table, close to Rafael, and they all stare at me.

Two of them nod their head my way, before turning to the oldest, who's still staring at me.

He looks almost identical to Marco, just older. A lot older.

'You wanted to see me.' I say, keeping my eyes on the older version of Marco.

It's scary how much they look alike, but it's making me wonder if they're related in any way.

They didn't tell me they had an older brother?

He turns away from me, looking at the man at the head of the table. 'I did.'

I have to fight the soft groan wanting to leave my throat because of his cold tone.

Rio told Marco he wanted me to come and talk to him, but he's being distant again.

'Gentlemen,' He says, making me look at him, 'give us a moment.'

'But we're-' 'You heard him.' The older version of Marco states, turning back to me.

He slowly gets up and brushes some dust off of his jacket, before nodding his head at my husband.

The other men get up as well, following his lead, and they all walk past me, nodding at me as well.

I nod back and hear the door close behind me.

'What did you want to talk about?' I ask as I step closer, feeling something hurt in my chest as I look at him.

He keeps his eyes on mine, before slowly nodding his head and brushing a hand over his face.

'Everything okay?' He looks absolutely exhausted and I just want to hold him, but I want to respect his boundaries.

'No.' He admits as he sighs deeply, moving some pieces of paper across the table. 'What's wrong?'

I haven't spoken to him like this in a while, but that's because we've both been busy with other things.

And because of what happened the last time.

He even sent Marco or Brandon to tell us if we were moving again, and when I tried talking to him last time, he left in a rush to deal with something.

I stop moving and wait for him to answer, feeling his eyes on me as if I'm supposed to read his mind, but I can't read anything.

'I miss you,' He whispers, making me believe that I'm imagining it, 'I just- I know I messed up and I'm so sorry Valentina.'

It feels like my chest caves in, crumbling every piece of my fragile heart all over again. 'What?'

'I never meant to hurt you with all of this and I'm sorry.' I shouldn't feel bad for him.

He hurt me and threatened me and he meant it with every cell of his body.

But I can't stand seeing him like this.

'Rio, I-' I step forward, making him rise from his chair.

Within three seconds, he's right in front of me, looking down at me as if he's ready to drop to his knees. 'I'm sorry.'

I want to tell him it's fine, but it's not. But he was hurt...

That doesn't make it okay for him to hurt me.

But I can't...

I step closer and wrap my arms around him, feeling his body tense before he relaxes in my arms.

'What are you doing?' He asks as I keep my face pressed against his hard chest.

I inhale slowly and take in his scent, something I didn't know I missed so much.

'I'm holding you.' I reply, feeling his chest slowly rise against my face. 'Valentina, I'm trying to apologize.'

'I know.' I whisper as I slowly let go of him.

As much as he tries to hide it, I can feel him wanting to hold me back, but for some reason, he doesn't.

Our eyes lock again and he stays close as he takes a deep breath.

Something is going on, something else that he wants to tell me about.

'I'm going to show you something, but you have to keep it between us.' I look into the eyes I fell in love with, and frown.

'What's going on?' I ask as I follow him into the hall.

'You can not tell anyone, Valentina. Not even North.' He insists, pulling me closer as he quickly glances through the hall.

'Rafael, what's going on?' He seems all over the place.

Exhausted and stressed, but most of all, in pain.

'Just promise me you won't tell anyone.'

He takes my hand in his and looks at me, waiting for me to respond.

'I won't, tell me what's going on.' I say, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

He takes a deep breath and squeezes my hand in return, pulling me closer than before. 'Come with me.'

Without letting me answer, he pulls me towards the basement, making sure every door shuts before he opens a new one.

'I found him.' He mumbles, waiting for the metal door to close behind us. 'Found who?'

'Hunter.' What?

My heart stops and if it wasn't for him pulling me along, I would've stopped moving too.

The last door opens and he steps aside, waiting for me to step in first.

But I stay put.

'He's in there?'

I hear some groaning coming from inside, and I almost stumble back.

No doubt.

It's him.

Rio nods and takes a deep breath. 'I hate him with all I have, but I want to let you talk to him before we continue down this road.'

Down this road...

I don't even have to ask to know what he means by that.

'Now go in there before I rip his head off his body.'

'What- I don't-' 'Tell him what's on your heart,' He mumbles, pulling me closer so he can place a soft kiss on my lips, 'the truth.'

I nod and take a deep breath, before stepping into the room, the door closing behind me, stopping the warmth and safety radiating off of Rio.

It's cold and dark, but the flickering lights that do work create enough light on his face.

Hunter Steel.

Tied at his arms, hanging from the ceiling, blood all over him.

Yet he somehow manages to smile at me.

'Little bee-' 'Shut up.' I notice the bloodied knives and chains around the room and fight the urge to hurt him more.

'Did he send you in here because he couldn't handle facing me himself?' Maybe.

But I doubt it.

'He would've killed you.' I answer instead, feeling sick to my stomach as I look at him.

Hunter Steel is really here. He's hanging and bruised, he's fucking here.

'I doubt that. He knows the risk.' War.

'There's no risk.' They've been at war for years, this is nothing new for either of them.

They were both just waiting to see who would strike first. And in the end, the Steels did. They struck first this time.

They killed Leonardo

And they have to pay.

'Come closer, Cataleya.' He groans, trying to keep his eyes on me.

But he's in pain. So much pain.

And I wish I could hurt him more. I wish there was a way I could make him feel more pain.

I take a step forward, looking him up and down, trying to see if he'll pull anything.

'Closer.' He says, almost making it sound like a command.

'Don't tell me what to do, Hunter.'

A chuckle erupts from his throat and it sends a wave of shivers all over me.

Engulfing me in pure ice.

'If you're going to kill me, just get it over with.' Now I'm the one almost laughing because this must be a joke, 'You did say you were going to kill me, didn't you, little bee?'

I nod and keep my eyes on his, those blue eyes that were pretty to me once.

Pretty, but that's it.

They're still emotionless, still not enough.

They'll never be enough.

'So do it.' He says, forcing his head up as far as he can, to look bigger than me. 'Kill me.'

I know Rio wouldn't send me in here to kill him.

I won't do that to him, even if Hunter deserves it.

No. He deserves worse.

'Kill me, little bee! My life is meaningless if you're not in it!' Why would-

'Your life became meaningless the moment you decided to go through my friends- my family to get to me.' I sneer, feeling something in me reach a new level.

A new kind of anger.

'Everything I ever did, was out of love! My love for you!'

'No.' I shake my head, unable to believe that anything he did was out of love.

'I love you, Cataleya.'

'You do not love me, Hunter.' I say, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. 'Every man on earth will fall in love with you after talking to you for less than five minutes, little bee. I love you.' He repeats as if it makes it any better.

'You do not-' 'I love you!'

'This is not love, this is an obsession!' I shout, watching as his eyes widen for a second, 'And you're sick if you think that I'm ever going to pick you.'

'You thought about it though.' What?

'You thought about being with me, staying with me, admit it.'

'If you thought any of that was true, you're dumber than I considered you were.' The last flicker of hope in his eyes disappears.

Leaving only pain and emptiness.

'Kill me.' He repeats, lowering his head again.

Admitting his defeat.

I shake my head and stay put, watching as blood drips down his face.

He's bleeding from his head somewhere.

'Just kill me already!'

'I'm not going to kill you, Hunter.' He looks up again, frowning.

'Let me guess, that piece of shit behind the door will?'

I shake my head and feel a faint smile form on my lips.

'I'm going to make you pay.' He smiles and tries to straighten his back again.

'You are going to make me pay, little bee?' I nod and enjoy his whimpers because of the pain rushing through his body.

He's moving too much.

'I honestly don't care, just kill me and get this over with.'

'You don't deserve a quick death.' I state, making him frown again. 'You deserve a slow and painful death.'

'Give it to me then.'

I shake my head and take another step closer to him, watching as surprise takes over him.

'You're going to watch my friends, my family, and everyone I care about, be happy. Including me. You're going to watch me be happy with my husband,' Pure rage flashes through his eyes and I almost step back, reminding myself that he's tied up, 'And maybe then I'll kill you. But that's up to Rio.'

I smile and fight the urge to end him right now.

Maybe I should.

He's not worth the time or effort.

But god do I want to make him pay.

Not only did he ruin my wedding, but he also killed my best friend, the only family Rio had left.

He murdered my family.

And I'll make him suffer for it.

I turn around and head back to the door, hearing him groan as the chains rattle louder than before.

'Cataleya. You're either going to kill me, or you're going to regret this!' He shouts, panic in his voice.

Exactly what I expected.

'You're the one tied up in our basement, so I think you're not the one to negotiate right now.' I chime and turn back to him.

I need to get the fuck out of here before I end him.

Because in the end, he's going to die anyway.

'You said you would kill me!' He shouts desperately wanting me to end him right now.

'You will die when I think is right, if that is by Neveah's hand, or mine, or Rio's, doesn't matter.' I say as I knock on the door, wishing that he's still there.

'Good luck, Steel.' The door opens and I jump into Rio's arms, slamming the door behind me.

He simply holds me, making me feel safe and warm again.

'I- How long has he been in there? And when did you even- I mean- Neveah. I have to tell her and-' He holds me in his arms and doesn't let go of me as I try to break free. 'Marco's telling her.'

'How long?' I ask as I try to calm down so that he can let go of me and we can talk. 'Three hours ago.'

'And why-' The metal door of the basement opens and I can hear footsteps approaching the door to this hall.

Marco steps in and looks at us. 'She doesn't care.'

What? There's no way she doesn't care.

She has been dreaming of killing Hunter herself, there's no way she would just let this go.

But at the same time... Today is Leon's birthday. She has barely been out of her room the past few days and I figure today is worse than the days before.

'I'll see what's up with her and-' Rio grabs my arm and pulls me back, keeping his eyes on Marco. 'Go and see what everyone else is up to and don't come down here again.' What is he doing?

Marco nods and walks back upstairs, leaving me in the basement with Rio.

And our enemy tied up in the room behind me.

'Come with me.' He says as he heads for the door leading to Hunter's room.

My blood runs cold, but follow him as he opens the door and steps inside.

'Couldn't get enough-' Hunter stops when he notices Rio first, before slowly grinning at me. 'Tell him how much you missed me.'

Rio lets go of my arm and walks to a wall with a few switches. He pulls on one of them, making Hunter drop to the floor entirely.

He groans and rolls over, still smiling as if he's enjoying all of this.

'Tell him about how happy you were with me.' I want to kick Hunter further into the ground, but I can't help but feel something sting when I see Rio tense even more. 'Stop talking.'

'Or what?' Hunter teases, making Rio grunt as he throws a chair Hunter's way.

It lands right on top of him, making his wounds hurt even more.

'Get on the chair.' Hunter isn't hanging from the ceiling anymore, but he's still chained up and barely able to move. 'You beat me up too much to move, so I can't.'

'Get on the fucking chair, Steel.' Something in Rio's voice sends shivers down my spine, but I don't feel cold.

I feel like I'm about to explode.

Hunter struggles to pull himself on the chair, wondering if he should just stop and protest, but when he finally sits on the chair, Rio walks over to me.

'I have been searching for you ever since I found out you didn't die the last time we saw each other.' He whispers, slowly turning back to Hunter.

'And now you have me.' Hunter grins, 'Are you going to hand me over to the king?'

That was the deal. Get Hunter so that we can get Leon's body.

So it makes me frown when I see Rio shake his head. 'Tell me where your uncle is.'

Hunter blinks a few times, switching from Rio to me and back to Rio, before shaking his head. 'Why would I do that?'

'How is your son?' Rio asks instead of answering Hunter, making his eyes widen.

I didn't know Hunter had a son. But his response to Rio's question says it all.

Somewhere on this earth, there's a little boy who has Hunter's genes in him.

Hunter used to be composed and unreadable.

But Rio broke him, torturing him even before they locked him in this room.

He can't keep anything in anymore. Because he doesn't give a fuck anymore.

I didn't know Hunter had a son, but there's a lot I don't know about Hunter.

'Leave him out of this!' Hunter sneers, putting all his energy into trying to strangle Rio.

But he's weak, too weak to force his legs to keep him up, so he falls to the ground, glaring at Rio.

'Barely one... I didn't want him to suffer as much as we did growing up, so I spared him.' He continues as he starts grinning.

'So the next time you threaten anyone in my family, I will make you eat your own flesh.' What?

My stomach drops and I keep my eyes on Rio now.

'Wha-''I just need to kill you and your uncle to wipe the entire Steel line.'

'You killed his son?' My stomach won't stop twisting as I wait for his answer.

But by the way he spoke to Hunter about it, I know he did.

'I did.'

I take a step back, my back colliding with the cold wall of the basement.

It's the only thing making me feel, especially after all the shit that happened.

'You-' 'Don't pity him.' He warns, a certain darkness forming in his eyes.

Rafael has always had a cold side to him. A side where he would kill whoever he wanted.

But this- the side that I've never seen before, is something else.

As if he's numb.

'I'm not pitying him, I'm-' I catch my breath, feeling the bile come up my throat, 'You said he was barely one.'

He looks at me as if it shouldn't matter how old the kid was.

'What does a one-year-old boy have to do with all of this?' I ask as I feel faint again.

But he stays silent, watching as Hunter starts silently crying. 'I will kill you for this.'

'He did have to watch his mother die though, I couldn't spare him that.' No...

I don't like this. I get that he's hurting, I get that he wants Hunter to hurt, but not like this.

That baby had nothing to do with any of this.

Before throwing up in front of them, I run out of the room and try to catch my breath in order to keep everything in.

I don't know how many minutes pass, but when I feel Rio's hands on my back I quickly turn around and take a step back.

'Don't-' 'A kid?' I ask as I feel nauseous again, 'A baby?'

I can't let myself think about it for too long, because I feel like I'm going to crawl into a ball and cry.

It could've been our kid if we decide to ever have kids, but I don't want to think about that.

I can't think about that

'I get that you're angry and hurting, but-' He chuckles softly, a sinister smile forming on his lips.

'You clearly don't get it.'

My heart drops and I feel like I'm about to faint.

'You will never get it.'

As if I haven't been trying to be by his side ever since we heard the news

As if I never met Leon.

As if I haven't been grieving like everyone else.

As if I haven't been fighting myself.

And he doesn't even seem bothered by anything he just said.

I step back until my back meets the wall again.

His eyes lock with mine and regret flashes through his eyes, before his walls go up again.

'Cataleya, I-' I shake my head and close my eyes, taking a deep breath before opening my eyes again.

'I won't let you walk all over me because you're hurt,' I tremble and I hate that I do, 'I am your wife and I'm here for you. But not like this.'

I know there's a hole in his soul.

A place that was made for Leon, his only family left.

But that doesn't give him the right to hurt me like this.

Because I want to be here for him, but I can't do that if he won't let me in.

'Once you're ready to talk, come talk to me.'

He simply looks at me with tears in his eyes, but I'm at breaking point.

I can't take this.

Not from him.

I just want to hold him and tell him everything will be okay, but he won't let me.

He doesn't stop me from walking past him and stays in the basement when I walk up the stairs, my heart shattering with each step I take away from him.

I can hear Brandon and Marco talking in the living room, and decide to check up on Veah, before checking up with them.

I quickly wipe my cheeks, hoping that she won't notice my teary eyes as much, and head to her room.

'Veah?' I open the door a little, noticing that the curtains are still closed.

I glance around the room, trying to see where she is exactly, but it's too dark.

I step into the room and turn on the lights a little, hearing a soft sob coming from the bed. 'It's me.'

She's crawled up, hugging a bunch of books. The little journals she was writing in.

'Neveah-' Asking how she's feeling would only upset her more. What do I do now?

I have no idea how to cheer her up, so I just drop down next to her, trying not to cry myself.

She wraps her arms around my legs and continues to cry until she physically can't anymore.

'Ley?' Her throat is dryer than it was yesterday, probably because she's been crying the entire time, but I can hear it because of the silence filling the room. 'Yes?'

I gently rub her back and wish I could take some of her pain.

This is too much for her to bear alone.

'I miss him.' she whispers, moving a little so that she's looking at the wall.

Tears escape my eyes and I don't even try to blink them away.

'I know you do, I do to- we all do.' And I also know that her pain is different than any of us.

I wonder if it even compares to the pain Rio felt because of this loss.

The room looks untouched. Even the water bottles we put in her room look unopened. Maybe she needs something else?

'Do you want me to get you something to drink or eat?' She shakes her head and takes a deep, but painful, breath.

'No.'

'Tell me what you want then.' I whisper, brushing some hair out of her face. There are tangles everywhere.

'I want to feel again.' She whispers, looking up at me for a second. 'I want him back.'

'I know Veah,' I say and hug her a little more, trying not to squeeze her growing belly, 'I know.'

The door slightly opens and Brandon peeks inside. 'Are you two okay?'

'No.' Neveah says as she tries to sit up a little more. I help her and let her lean on my shoulder, keeping her in my arms.

'What's going on?' He asks as he turns on the lights in the room.

We both groan because of the sudden bright lights blinding us for a few seconds. 'They have Hunter in the basement.'

'What?!' He exclaims as he rushes over to the bed. I nod and feel Veah tremble in my arms. 'We should kill him and-'

'The royal family wanted him alive.' I remind them both, wondering how they could miss that part.

We need Leon's body to bury him with his family, so we need Hunter Steel alive.

For now.

'He'll suffer at their will.' I reassure them as they look at me strangely.

'We don't know that.' Brandon mutters as he makes his way back to the door, 'But Marco wanted to talk to you.'

I nod and slowly get out of bed, letting go of Veah as she stays seated on the bed and stares at the blankets covering her legs.

'I'll be right back, okay?' She nods and lays back down as I follow Brandon into the hall.

'What did Marco want to talk about?' He shrugs and sighs deeply, 'He didn't tell me, but I'll be in my room if you need anything.'

I thank him and head downstairs, meeting Marco in the living room.

'You wanted to talk to me?' I ask as I walk into the room.

Marco nods and takes a step forward, a little uncertain where he should stop.

'I take it he said some fucked up shit again.' He mutters as he takes a seat on the side of the couch. 'What do you mean?'

'I know he messed up because you're not with him right now,' He explains, making me wonder if he talked to him about this stuff before, 'But he has every right to be mad right now.'

'At me?' Marco's eyes widen and he shakes his head. 'No, but he has never been good with his anger management, you and I both know that.'

'That doesn't make it okay.' My voice is hard and distant, something I don't want to be towards Marco.

But I don't get why he's saying all of this.

'You don't get it.' He continues, making me wonder what I'm supposed to get out of this vague conversation.

'That's because you guys don't explain anything.' I say as I take a step back and start to walk away.

I don't have the energy to have this conversation right now and I don't think I should be talking to Marco about the fight I had with Rio.

'The royal family won't give us Leon's body back.'

I stop moving and try to process what he just said, wondering if I heard him correctly. 'What?'

Marco nods as I turn around and steps forward a bit panicked.

'They said that- even if we gave them Hunter's body, they won't give us his body until they were done with Hunter.'

Wait... That means we won't get Leon's body... That means Rio can't-

'They sold his body to a friend.'

'What about the deal?' I ask a bit hesitantly.

'They don't give a fuck about the deal anymore.' That's why we still have Hunter...

I turn around and start walking, straight to Rio.

'Rafael?' I ask as I enter the dark office.

I hear someone move on the other side, a glass shattering in less than a second.

I quickly turn on the lights to see who it is and notice Rio sitting in his chair, frowning because of the bright light.

'Valentina, is that you?' He whispers, his voice hoarse and heavy with a lot of emotions.

'It's me,' I take a few steps away from the door and look around the room.

He destroyed everything.

Papers and pictures are shattered everywhere, glass shards covering thirty percent of the floor.

'I-' He sits up, his hands rubbing over his face, before he looks back at me, 'I'm sorry.'

I nod and watch him, wondering how he did all of this in less than forty minutes.

'Did you know?' I bet he did, but maybe Marco told me first for some weird reason.

He nods and looks at his hands, before wiping his face again.

'Did you hurt yourself?' He shakes his head and takes a shaky breath.

'I didn't mean what I said earlier.' He whispers softer than ever.

'I know.' I reply as I step closer to him, 'You were just angry.'

'I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that.'

I nod because he shouldn't have, but I get it in some ways.

He was expecting to get his dead cousin's body back after searching for his worst enemy, but the royal family won't allow it.

'I'm so sorry.'

I reach out to him and look into his glossy eyes.

'Come here.' I pull him into my arms, keeping a tight grip on him as he leans into me.

'It's okay.' His breath staggers before I feel his tears on my shirt again.

But I can't get myself to let go of him.

I don't want to let go of him. 'I'm sorry.'

'Is there anything we can do to make them change their minds?' I ask as I brush over his back. 'I want to kill them.' He grits as his muscles tense underneath me.

'They sold him like he's an object.' He continues, slowly moving back so that he can look at my face. 'I-'

He inhales slowly, holding his breath for a few seconds, before releasing it and looking at me again.

'I don't know what to do.' He admits, his hands shaking as he reaches out to me.

I take his hand and bring it to my lips, slowly kissing it in hopes it will calm him down just a little bit.

'We'll figure it out together.' I whisper against his hand.

He pulls his hand back and shakes his head, 'No.'

'We can all help you, you don't have to do this alone.' I try, hoping that he'll let me in just this once, but he shakes his head and looks at the mess he made.

'Go help North.' He says in the same emotionless tone he always uses when he's done with me.

'She's fine.' His eyes shoot to mine and he slightly shakes his head, 'She can't be, it's his birthday today.'

'She's in her room and the same goes for you.' I say, making him sigh deeply and turn the other way to get up. 'Go and see how she is, I don't need you around me right now.'

'You never do.' I say, letting it slip out because I don't want to hold it in anymore.

'That's not true.' He counters, turning back to face me instead of walking through the shards of glass. 'You have been shutting me out more than before and I know you have a hard time opening up to people, but I'm done getting hurt because of it.'

I have been trying so hard to stick by him, to help him through this, to talk to him, but he keeps shutting me out.

'So stop and check on your pregnant best friend.' And give up on you...

It feels like he's ripping out my heart and after all this time, he's doing it on purpose.

'Okay.' I say, hoping that he doesn't hear the hurt in my voice.

He doesn't look at me as I leave the room and continues staring at the mess he made.

I force myself to keep the tears in my eyes and head back to Neveah, to see if she's down for a walk around the house since she hasn't been out of her room at all today.

'Neveah?' I ask with a pained voice as I peek inside the bedroom.

She must've opened the curtains and thrown all the pillows back on the bed, but the rest of the room is still a mess.

'Neveah?' I hear the bath running and head to the bathroom, quickly knocking to see if she's in there.

She has to be, because no one else would use this bathroom, but still.

'Are you in there?' I try opening the door since I don't hear anything else, but it's locked from the inside. 'Neveah?'

Still no response.

My heart stops for a second and I can feel the panic creeping up inside my body, but I push it away and knock again.

'Neveah, please say something. You're scaring me.' Nothing.

I start banging on the door, hoping that she'll make a sound or wake up or anything, but nothing happens.

My hands start to tremble as I look around the room, trying to find something to open this stupid door with.

I run to the chair in the corner of the room and try banging it against the door in hopes of it opening that way, but it doesn't even budge.

'What are you doing?!' Marco asks as he rushes into the room. 'Help me open the door.'

I push against the door again and again, but nothing happens. 'Why are you-' 'Just fucking help me open this door!'

Marco starts banging the door as well, but it doesn't open the door at all.

'What are you guys doing?' Brandon asks as he walks into the room with a confused Kai.

They're staring at us as if we're insane.

'Neveah isn't responding and-' I stop when I feel something wet at my feet.

I look down to see water coming from underneath the door. No.

'Neveah!' Kai takes the chair I was using and shoves it against the door handle a few times. 'I tried-'

He rams as hard as he can, breaking the door handle and opening the door.

I go in first, ignoring the water streaming through the room, and run to the bathtub. I almost burn my hand trying to turn off the tap.

Veah's wading in a full bathtub, her eyes closed, floating with half of her body underneath the water, while the other half is holding on by barely anything.

I quickly grab a robe and get her out of the water, shaking her body to see if she'll wake up. I place my hands on her face and instantly let go because of how warm she is.

'Is she okay?' Marco asks as he stays by the door, his back facing us, the exact same as Kai. Brandon is nowhere in sight, but I can hear him running around the bedroom.

'She's not responding.' I panic when she's not opening her eyes and not cooling down either. 'Where is Celine?' She'll probably tell us what to do and-

'She's at the hospital.' Marco says as he keeps his back facing us. 'She had her day off today, why is she-' 'She has an ultrasound.' Kai says as he strides into the room. Ultrasound?

She's pregnant? 'She didn't want to tell you because she knew you wouldn't approve, but she won't be able to help us out of this one.' Kai's statement stings a little, but not enough to keep me from freaking out about the fact that Veah is passed out in my arms.

'We need to get her to the hospital.' Brandon walks into the room with a bunch of sheets and towels that he found in the room. 'Help me get her up.'

Marco walks into the bathroom as well and lifts up Veah's legs, while Kai and I pick up her arms and we carry her to the bedroom.

I try shaking her awake again, but she's not responding at all.

'We have to go, now.' They nod and carry her down the stairs, through the front door.

Brandon already readied a car and opened all the doors for us.

I hop in the back, letting her head rest on my lap as Brandon races to the hospital.

Fucking hell... I press my fingers on her wrist and try to feel for a heartbeat. It's there but it's faint.

'We're almost there.' Marco says, trying to calm me down, but it doesn't help at all.

When run inside and take her to the first doctor we see.

A bunch of people start rushing in and push us out of the way to help her, leaving us in the hall as they take her into an operating room.

Brandon grabs my arm and pulls me towards one of the chairs across the hall, and drops down next to me. 'She's going to be okay?'

'She has to be, right?' He nods and keeps me in his arms as my heart starts pounding in my chest.

If something happens to her... No. She'll be fine. We just have to be more careful and make sure something like this happens again.

But what about the babies? No... Please no...

'I found this in her room.' Marco starts, handing me one of the books she was writing a few days ago. 'What are you-' 'Read what she wrote in there.'

I shake my head and keep the notebook on my lap, not wanting to read something she wrote in there right now.

I just want to know if she's okay and if she'll wake up any time soon and if the babies are okay and-

Brandon takes the notebook and flips to the last couple of pages.

'Brandon, we shouldn't-' His eyes widen as he starts reading and I can see the tears form in his eyes almost immediately.

'Read it.' Marco insists, taking a seat to my right and reading whatever it is Brandon is reading.

I shake my head and try getting the book from Brandon, but he pulls it away and continues to read. 'It's not fair if we-'

'No fucking way.' He mutters, looking at me with wide eyes, 'Look.'

He has tears streaming down his face and shoves the book into my hands.

I take a deep breath and look at the door across from us, silently praying that she'll forgive me for doing this to her, before I look at the page Brandon left it at.

ɪ'ᴍ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴡʜᴇɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ. ɪ'ᴠᴇ ꜱᴇᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛʟʏ ꜰᴏʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ, ʙᴜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴀ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ, ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.

ɪ'ʟʟ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴘᴜꜱʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ ᴀᴡᴀʏ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ, ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. ꜱᴏ ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ. ɪ'ᴍ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ.

ɪ'ᴍ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ.

She must've written this when we didn't know yet, when we had to split up for those two weeks.

'There's nothing-' 'Now the next.' Brandon skips a few pages and points at a new paragraph.

ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ. ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ. ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ-

She cried writing this because I can see the smudged letters and the wrinkly patches on the paper.

ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏ. ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴᴇ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ɪꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀɪɴɢ. ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪɴɢ ɪ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴍᴀᴅʀɪᴅ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴏɴᴇ, ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴀʏ ʙʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱɪᴅᴇ ᴜɴᴛɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ɪ ᴅɪᴇ.

Oh Veah...

ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ, ɪ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅɪᴇ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜꜱ ʟɪꜰᴇ.

ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴡ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇꜱ, ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀᴇ. ʙᴜʀɴ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ ɪ ᴡʀᴏᴛᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɢᴇᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.

ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ. ɪ ꜱɪᴍᴘʟʏ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ. ɪ ᴡʀᴏᴛᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜɪꜱ, ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜᴏᴡ ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ. ʜᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ʙᴜʀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ "ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇʀꜱᴀᴛɪᴏɴ" ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴅ?

ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴛɪᴀɢᴏ. ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴇᴠᴇʀ. ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰɪɴɢᴇʀᴛɪᴘꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀꜰꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ɪ'ʟʟ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇʏ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴꜱᴛ ᴍʏ ꜱᴋɪɴ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ʟʟ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ʟʟ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴀɪᴅ ᴍʏ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ɪᴛ ꜱᴇɴᴛ ꜱʜɪᴠᴇʀꜱ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴍʏ ꜱᴘɪɴᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇ.

ɪ ᴘʀᴀʏᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴅᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴅɪᴅ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴍᴇ, ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴘʀᴀʏ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ɪ ᴅɪᴅ. ɪ ᴘʀᴀʏᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʀᴏɴᴛ ᴅᴏᴏʀ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀ ʟɪᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏ.

I remember finding her on her knees in the room, but she was crying too much for me to understand what she was saying. But now...

ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ɪᴛ ɪꜱ ʙᴜʟʟꜱʜɪᴛ. ᴘʀᴀʏɪɴɢ, ɢᴏᴅ, ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇʟʟ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴇᴍᴘᴛɪɴᴇꜱꜱ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴛᴀʟʟʏ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ ᴇᴍᴘᴛɪɴᴇꜱꜱ. ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ. ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏʀ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ. ɴᴏ.

ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏɴᴇʟɪɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴍᴘᴛɪɴᴇꜱꜱ ɪꜱ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛɪᴀɢᴏ.

ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ʀᴀꜰᴀᴇʟ, ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴄᴇʟɪɴᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴄᴀᴛᴀʟᴇʏᴀ, ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴍᴀʀᴄᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙʀᴀɴᴅᴏɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴏʀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴀʟʟ. ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴍᴇ.

My heart breaks all over again, making me wonder when she wrote all of this because I have been by her side ninety percent of the time.

ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴀᴠᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴛᴇᴇʟ.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅ. ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ.

ɪꜰ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ɪɴ 2012, ɪ ᴀᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ. ɪꜰ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛɪᴀɢᴏ.

Her handwriting gets more and more difficult to read with each word, but I have seen worse from her.

ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛɪᴀɢᴏ.

ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ, ꜱᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ. ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ, ᴏᴋᴀʏ?

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ...

'Guys, this just-' Marco skips to the very last page and taps on the last few sentences. 'Now this.'

ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ. ɴᴏ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɪ ʟɪᴇ, ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴇꜱ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ.

ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ. ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ.

ɪ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ, ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴅɪᴅ. ɪ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ᴍᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴏɴ, ꜰᴏʀ ᴡᴇᴇᴋꜱ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ.

ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛɪᴀɢᴏ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ...

Did she... No. She wouldn't. She said she wouldn't for the sake of her children and me and my mom. The family that she will soon have and the family she has right now.

She said she wouldn't... But here we are.

In the hospital, freaking out because... No.

'She has been thinking about it for a while now and-' I get up and close the book, holding onto it tightly before they try to take it from me.

'Stop it.' I state, getting annoyed with both of them.

Neveah wouldn't kill herself, especially not now that she's pregnant.

She promised she wouldn't and I know she won't.

'She wouldn't do that.' Marco rolls his eyes and points at the door, 'What's this then?'

'She just-' 'You can kill yourself by not taking enough care of yourself, Ley.' Brandon says, making me turn to him.

No no no no no.

'She wouldn't do that.' I repeat as I shake my head over and over again. 'She has barely been out of her room.' Marco says, his voice softening as he looks at me.

'She has barely been eating or drinking.' I continue to shake my head, wishing that they would just stop.

'She could've drowned in that bathtub, Leya.' I know. I shake my head nonetheless, not allowing the panic to get into my head and make all of this worse. 'She could've died.'

'Stop.' I beg, making them look at me with pitiful faces, 'Please just stop.'

I don't want to think about my best friend killing herself. I don't want to think about my best friend dying.

Especially not now that she's in the hospital because she fainted in the bathtub.

I can't.

My heart skips a beat as the door opens and I turn to see who it is.

One of the doctors that rushed in not so long ago smiles at all of us, before turning back to me. 'Are you her family?'

'Yes.' I insist, wondering if she'll be alright, 'Is she okay?'

The man smiles at me and nods, 'She fainted because of the lack of nutrition and sleep, but she'll be okay thanks to your quick thinking.'

I nod and feel the others move closer as well. 'We're going to have an ultrasound to see if the babies are okay as well, but so far they seem alright.'

A wave of relief washes over all of us, but I can't help but want to actually see if she's okay.

'The boys are holding on strong so there's no need to worry, they will be strong like their mom.' The doctor continues as he takes the ultrasound machine from a nurse on his right.

He turns back and enters the room, leaving all of us startled.

'Did he just tell us the gender?' Kai asks a little confused. 'Two. Boys!?'

Marco shoves Brandon back into his chair and looks at me, 'She'll be fine. You heard the doctor.'

'She needs to eat and sleep more.' I state getting angry at myself for not being careful enough. But getting even angrier at Veah for some reason.

'She doesn't listen.' 'She should.' I state, making all of them look at me in silence, 'She could've died in that bathtub. She could've drowned and the babies could've- she could've died.'

It feels like my heart reaches a new depth of fear. One where my best friend, someone I see as family, as a sister, could've died and I couldn't be there for her.

'All because she doesn't want to eat... Or sleep... Or take care of herself.' I mumble, feeling fucked up for even saying it.

She's hurting because of Leon's death, but she can't keep doing this to herself.

To her sons...

'I don't want her to die and I know she can't lose her kids right now, she won't survive that.' Brandon nods and takes a shaky breath, making my heart break even more.

Because he knows I'm right.

He has been with us for most of the time too, trying to cheer her up as much as he possibly could, but it never seemed to work.

I can't keep seeing her go down like this. I can't keep watching her do this to herself.

'Cataleya, it's not fair towards her.' Brandon says, struggling to even say it. 'It's not fair to all of us.' Marco says, making all heads turn to him, 'Especially Leya, she has been by her side the entire time so I get that she's done with her shit now.'

'You're just mad that Isabelle only talks to her now that you fucked up.' Isabelle... I haven't seen her since we moved to this house, which was almost three months ago.

According to Veah, she has only been out of her room when everyone else is asleep.

'I don't give a fuck about Isabelle or who she talks to, I'm just stating the obvious. Neveah is latching on to Cataleya and it's not fair.' Marco continues, raising his voice a little.

The door opens and the doctor steps out, still smiling at us, even though he probably heard what we were talking about the entire time.

'The babies are perfectly fine, it's as if they missed the entire thing, and I need one of you to sign the papers for her release.' I nod and decide to sign the papers so that they can get her into the car in the meantime.

I sign the papers and listen to the doctor who's giving me some tips on how to help her recover from this, before saying my goodbyes and thanking him for his help.

When I get to the car, everyone is standing by the only opened door.

Veah's eyes widen when she sees me and she sits up a bit straighter, her legs dangling in the air as she tries to move to the edge of the seat to get out. 'Leya, I-'

'What were you thinking?' I ask as my heart starts racing again. She takes a deep breath and looks at me, not knowing what to say. 'You could've died.'

'I know, but I-' 'How could you do that to me?' Tears spring in my eyes, but once again, I force them away by blinking a few times.

Now is not the time to cry.

'You said you would talk to me, you said you would eat, that you would sleep, that you would take care of yourself.' The others all stay silent, but don't look away either.

'I have been-' 'No you haven't.' She looks away in shame, 'You clearly haven't Neveah.'

I don't like being hard on her and she knows that too. But she scared the shit out of me and I don't think she realizes how scared I was.

'Let's just go home.' I say as I get in the passenger seat instead of sitting with her, making Kai and Brandon sit behind this time.

Marco jumps behind the wheel and drives us back to the house.

Once we get there, we help Veah into her room and immediately grab her something to eat. Kai and Brandon fill in Celine on what happened, while Marco goes to Rio's office.

I think about the way I spoke to Veah and feel bad, but can't help but feel angry at the same time.

She could've fucking died today. If something happened to her, I would've lost it.

But right now I can't decide who I need to check up on first.

I know I said I was done with checking up on Rio, but I know he needs me. But so does Veah... Even after the way I talked to her at the hospital...

Everything is getting too much, my lungs forcing the air out of them as I try to breathe again.

I bump into someone's chest and stumble back.

'Cataleya-' I notice blue eyes and step back even more to see who they belong to.

A blurry mix of dark hair and blue eyes comes into my vision, but I'm barely able to make out who it is.

'Are you okay?' I shake my head and turn to the first window I see, feeling like my lungs are going to explode any second now. 'What's wrong?'

I open the windows and lean forward, almost losing my balance.

A strong hand goes around my arm, pulling me back just enough for me not to fall down and break something.

'Easy there.' I try to fill my lungs with fresh air and slowly come back to my senses, dropping to the floor as I finally catch my breath.

I sit on the floor for a few seconds, trying to calm myself down, and hear someone sit down next to me.

'Are you okay?' He asks again.

This time I can tell who he is.

It's Nico.

The man that was nowhere to be found after my wedding.

The wedding where it all went wrong and- no.

'I don't know.' I admit, still feeling my body shake as stare at my hands.

'What happened?' I chuckle, wondering where he has been the last months to not know what happened. 'Everything went to shit.'

'Why is everyone so tense.' 'Veah tried to kill herself.' I didn't see it that way a few minutes ago, but I do now.

'What do you mean?' He asks with a panicked voice. 'She fainted in the bathtub and could've drowned.'

'Is she okay?' I nod and take another deep breath, forcing myself to get back on my feet.

He does the same and looks at me, wondering if I'm hiding anything regarding Neveah. 'She's fine.'

'So what's got you so panicked?' He asks when I look at my hands again to see if I stopped shaking. But I'm still shaking.

'I want to be there for both of them.' I admit, wondering why I'm even telling him this. 'Your husband and your best friend.'

I nod and lean against the wall, hoping that the cold stone will calm my nerves a bit more. 'But?'

'I can't keep running between the two of them without fearing the other one getting hurt.' Rio could've hurt himself earlier too.

He could've done something stupid and gotten himself killed in the process, while Neveah could've drowned in that stupid bathtub.

My lungs close in on me again, making me tremble even more.

'Cataleya, breathe.' Nico says, getting right in front of me so that I have to look at him. 'I can't-'

'Four in, hold for four more, and exhale for five seconds.' I try following his orders, but my lungs won't allow it.

It's like they're stuck.

'I-' 'Like this.' He slowly inhales, spreading it out over four seconds, before stopping and holding it for another four seconds, and exhaling for five.

'And again.' He does it again, using his hand as an example too. I follow his breathing and force my lungs to let me breathe. Or at least try to.

'That's it, put your feet apart just a little bit. You need to stand your ground.' He breathes again, making me do the same as him, and it helps.

'You're okay.' I nod and keep doing the breathing exercise as he stays close but far enough to allow me to breathe.

'I feel like you haven't even mourned yourself.' He states when he notices I'm breathing normally again. 'What makes you think that?'

'Marco said you have been too busy making sure everyone is okay and I can see that he wasn't lying.' I try to remember when I last cried about Leon's death and feel guilty about it when it's the day of the news.

I was alone in the dining room and I lost it. But that's the last time I cried about my best friend dying. Fucking hell...

I mean sure, I cried with Veah sometimes, but that was because I felt bad for her and the others, not because of my own grief.

It was like grieving for the others in some ways.

'I grieved enough.' I say, feeling something sharp go through my heart as I say it. 'Let me help you.'

I can't help but frown and take a step further away from him, making him smile a little. 'Not like that.'

He looks around the hall, staring at some of the walls as if there's art on them, except there's not. They're completely white with nothing fascinating on them.

'I could be there for Neveah while you help your husband through this rough time.' He says, slowly turning back to me.

I shake my head and roll my eyes, wondering if he just helped me to suggest this stupid idea.

'So you can make a move on her while she's vulnerable? No thank you.' I say as I walk around him, back to the kitchen to grab something to eat for myself.

'I swear on everything I own that I'm not doing it for her love.' I stop in my tracks and slowly turn back to Nico. 'Why are you doing it then?'

'I don't want her to hurt anymore.' He says more to himself than to me. But I can hear the sincerity in his voice.

He actually wants her to heal.

'Last time I checked, you were the one hurting her.'

'I know and that was stupid, but it won't happen again.' I look at the stairs and watch as Marco walks out of Rio's office, with a pained look on his face. Fuck...

'If you hurt her again Nico, I will make sure you pay, do you understand?' His eyes widen a bit, but he quickly nods and steps closer.

'I won't, I promise-' 'She needs to eat and sleep more, and you better tell me everything that happens while you're with her.' I state as I walk towards the distressed Marco. 'I will!'

I fight the urge to tell Nico to leave her alone, but I know that he'll keep her safe when I can't.

'What's wrong?' Marco quickly wipes a tear away and shakes his head as I approach him. 'Rio- he-' 'Is he okay?'

'He's spiraling.' I nod and walk past him, straight to my husband's office.

I open the door, not knocking this time, and search for him around the room.

He's standing behind his desk, holding a bottle of whiskey. 'Rio-'

'You should go to North.' He says, pouring himself another glass.

'I'm not going anywhere and put that away, please.' I say as I move over to his side of the desk.

I quickly grab the bottle, before he snatches it out of my reach, and throw it onto the seat across from him.

Praying that it doesn't break.

Or maybe it should?

At least that way I know he won't be drinking it anymore.

'Go to North.'

I shake my head and stay put, waiting for him to look at me. 'No.'

'Valentina, go to North.'

'I'm not going anywhere,' I say as I take a step close to him and grab his hand, 'we're married now, your burdens are mine.'

'Fuck off.' He mutters, turning his chair towards me before getting up, but he's still not looking at me. 'It's all bullshit.'

He strides past me and heads to the last bottles that he didn't break to grab a new bottle.

No.

I move over to him, quickly wrapping my arms around his waist, and watch as he freezes on the spot. 'Let me in.'

'Valentina, go to North.' He repeats.

His tone hard and cold and more distant than it was earlier today.

As if I'm losing him. Losing the man I love.

'Let me help you, please.'

He turns around and finally looks at me with tears forming in the corner of my eyes.

I stay silent and try to ease his pain by hugging him again, but I can't help but break on the inside.

He's in pain. So much pain.

And I can't take the pain away from him.

'Cataleya, go now.' Cataleya.

I shake my head against his chest and squeeze tighter, not ever wanting to let go of him.

'Just go, please.' He repeats desperately, his body shuddering as he takes a deep breath.

'I'm not going anywhere.'

'Please leave.'

'No.' I lean back to look at him and see a tear rolling down his beautiful face, before kissing it away.

His body tenses before slowly slumping down as he sinks to the ground, his face pressed against my chest.

'Leave.' I keep my hands around his shoulders, 'Please.'

'I'm not going anywhere.'

He struggles to breathe in and shudders against my stomach, wrapping his arms around my waist as if he's afraid I'll disappear.

'Fuck- Don't go, please.' He mutters against my chest, keeping his tight grip on me.

'I'm here,' I whisper as tears escape my own eyes, 'I'm not going anywhere.'

I kiss his hair, breaking as he cries against my chest, never losing his tight grip on me once, and try to keep my tears in.

'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.' He repeats until he suddenly just stops.

And he breaks

'Don't leave.' I stroke my hand through his hair and look at the ceiling to keep my tears in. 'Don't ever leave me.'

'Rafael, I'm here.'

My shirt is wet from his tears and I wish I could take some of his pain.

I wish we just kept the wedding small, I wish none of this ever happened.

'I should've waited with the wedding.' He says with a shaky breath.

I shake my head as I look down on him, 'Don't-'

My heart stops when he looks up and there are still tears rolling down his cheeks.

'It's all my fault.'

'You didn't know, Rafael.' I mumble as I wipe the tears from his face.

He leans into my touch and takes another shaky breath. 'You didn't know.'

He shakes his head and looks at the ground.

'We'll get through this.' I whisper as I brush through his hair again.

'How?' I always loved it when he would sound desperate.

Desperate to talk to me, to see me, to be near me. Desperate just for me.

But not like this.

This is another type of desperation. One that I hate more than anything else in the world.

'I have no idea.' I answer honestly, wishing that he didn't hear the pain in my voice. 'But we'll do it together.'

----

A/N: Sorry for the very late post! (I'm sick so I couldn't really write this week) BUT HERE YOU GO...

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