I wrap my arms around my stomach and look at the towels on the ground. I made a fucking mess...

A knock on the door makes me jump a little and I feel one of the babies move in my uterus. 'I'm fine, please leave me alone.'

I can hear Brandon's voice but I can't really tell what he's saying or who he's talking to.

'Hey!' I move to the edge of the bed and look at the door when I hear him shout and wonder what the hell is going on when I hear a loud thud.

'Brandon-' The door opens and closes within seconds, before the person who stormed in locks it, 'Nico?'

'Nico! You better open this fucking door!' Brandon shouts, banging on the other side of the door. 'Brandon, are you okay?'

I can hear him groan as he tries to break through the door again. 'Do you need me to get help?'

Nico looks right at me, not moving an inch away from the door. 'I'm fine.'

I don't need him to worry more than he already has. 'Are you sure-' 'She said she's fine, now go.'

I grab a pillow and throw it at him, hating the way he's talking to Brandon. 'I'm fine, I promise.'

'Shout if you need anything.' Brandon mumbles, slowly walking away from the door.

I take a deep breath and look at Nico, who is standing in my room after all the shit that happened.

'What were you thinking?' His eyes are dark and he seems angry, but I'm barely able to process that he's here. 'Why would you lock yourself in a bathroom, knowing that something bad could happen?'

He steps closer and I jump to my feet, feeling my body shout at me to go back on the bed.

But Nico stops moving, his eyes widening when he sees my huge belly.

'You're pregnant?' I nod and take a few steps away from him. 'Neveah, you-' 'Stop right there.' I say when he slowly steps closer.

He stops moving again and simply looks at me. Still angry, maybe even angrier than before.

'You could've drowned.' He says as his eyes stick to mine, 'You could've killed yourself and your baby.'

My heart starts racing again and I can't help but feel fear fill my head again.

'Babies.' I say, making his eyes widen just a little more. 'Babies? Twins?' I nod and listen to him laugh at me, wondering why he's even here to begin with. 'Are you fucking kidding me?'

'What are you doing here?' My voice breaks and I can't help but let a tear escape my eyes. 'I heard what happened and wanted to check up on you guys, but don't ignore the other part, are you even thinking straight.'

I walk past him and move the soaked towels out of the way, before opening the bathroom door.

He grabs my arm and pulls me back, grabbing my face with his other hand so that I have to look at him. 'Why are you being so careless?'

'Let go of me.' I don't have to shove him away, because he quickly let's go and turns the other way to take a deep breath.

I look around the room and notice that there's still some water on the floor.

Leya found me... Or at least that's what Brandon told me. She was as white as a ghost...

God... I fucked up.

'Neveah,' I slowly turn around and lean against the wall for support, feeling my knees go weak again, 'Why aren't you being more careful, you're finally pregnant.'

I don't get why he's here. I saw him at the wedding, before everything went to shit, but we never spoke after that night he left.

'Because my heart is missing.' I say, hoping that he will understand it like that. That he will understand how much I'm hurting, that he'll understand why I didn't think it would affect me this much, that he'll understand why I'm crying all the time, that he'll understand without me having to explain myself time and time again.

'You're being dramatic.' He says, looking me dead in the eyes as the words come out of his mouth.

I turn to the closet and find something else to wear instead of the hospital dress they gave me, wishing that Nico would just drop dead as I do.

But when I come back into the bedroom and find him standing, I can't help but feel disappointment wash over me.

It would be weird if he actually dropped dead, but I at least thought that he would've left again.

'You don't get it, do you?' He asks as he watches me walk around the room.

I grab the soaking towels and walk into the bathroom to hang them somewhere.

'Neveah, I'm talking to you.' He says, stopping in the doorway. 'I didn't ask you to so leave me alone.'

He mutters something in Russian, clearly having a hard time keeping himself contained, and keeps his eyes on me.

I grab some more towels and try to get rid of the excess water as much as I can. 'You need to go to bed.'

'Don't tell me what to do.' I say as I grab a new towel and throw it on the puddle across the room. 'You don't have to stick around if you don't want to.'

He sighs deeply and slowly takes off his shoes and socks, before entering the bathroom. 'Go to bed and let me clean up this mess.'

'I don't need you to clean up for me.' He stops mid-air, the water dripping off the towel he just picked up, and looks at the floor. 'I didn't mean what I just said.'

'That has nothing to do with any of this, could you please just get out and leave me alone?' I say as I continue to throw the other towels somewhere so that they can dry.

'I know that you're mad at me and I'm sorry.' I ignore him and walk back into the bathroom, not caring about the fact that my feet aren't completely dry.

He follows me into the bedroom and fights the urge to make me talk to him, but I'm not in the mood.

Nikolai can apologize all he wants, but I don't care. It won't make up for the shit he said.

'Did you eat?' I glance at the side table, noticing that Celine took the plate after I ate all the food. 'Leave me alone.'

'Neveah, I just want to help.' He says as if he didn't say all of the shit before.

'I don't need your help, so get out.' I look at him, waiting for him to move as my feet dry.

'I don't get it.' He admits, making my heart race for some reason.

I don't like the way he's talking to me. I don't like the way he's still in my room. I don't like that he thinks sorry will fix anything.

'Can you please leave?' He shakes his head and takes a step forward, making me drop on the bed. 'Nico-' 'I don't get what you're going through right now.'

I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but Hunter Steel.

I wouldn't even wish this on Nico, because it's too much.

'You don't need to, get out.' I undo the covers and climb underneath them, waiting for him to get the fuck out.

'I told Cataleya I would keep my eyes on you.' He says, moving to the chair next to the bed.

Keeping his eyes on mine the entire time.

'I don't need you to keep your eyes on me.' He chuckles and I can hear the fear in his voice as he mumbles, 'You clearly do.'

'I didn't do it on purpose.' I should've known something would happen, but I didn't do it on purpose.

I didn't want to scare everyone the way I did, especially Leya. And I didn't want to endanger the kids.

But I did.

'It seems to me like you did.' He counters, looking me directly in the eyes again.

'I didn't.' I say as I want to suffocate him with a pillow, 'I already ate and I'm trying to go to bed, so get the fuck out.'

Despite the annoyance in my voice, he stays seated, locking his eyes with mine until I decide to turn around and hide under the covers.

'Get out.' I repeat as firmly as possible, but I can feel the sleep wanting to take over.

I'm so tired after today and now I have to deal with an annoying Nico until he decides to leave.

'I'm not leaving you.' He replies, sounding a lot closer than he should.

As if he's leaning over me, hovering over the bed just to make sure I'm listening to whatever it is he has to say.

'I don't want you here, so just leave.' I groan and almost turn around, but decide not to. Because that's exactly what he wants.

He wants me to give him attention, but I won't give it to him.

'Neveah, I-' 'You wanted me to sleep, so let me sleep.' I say as I close my eyes and wait for him to respond.

It sparks my interest when he doesn't, almost making me look at him to see if he somehow disappeared into thin air, but I don't.

I stay put and just listen, hearing absolutely nothing but his soft breathing. The only way that I know he's still in the room.

Because apart from that, it's dead silent.

Like always.

I let the bed swallow me entirely as I slowly fall asleep and meet the darkness, letting it surround me entirely.

'Veah?' I hear a soft whisper behind me and ignore it.

Because it sounds too familiar. Too painful.

'Cara.' No. I pinch my eyes shut and take a deep breath, remembering what Leya told me.

Breathe. Just count to ten and see what happens. If it's not over by then, just force yourself to wake up.

If only it was that simple.

'Cara, it's me.' One. The sound of Tiago's voice is lingering in my head.

I don't want to wake up, but I know this is all a dream.

He's gone and I need to get over it already.

Two... 'Why did you do that today?' Something moves behind me, as if his body is slowly moving closer to mine, 'You scared the shit out of me.' Three...

He moves closer, or it at least feels like he does, but he's not touching me yet.

Four. 'Neveah, why would you do something so stupid?' Stupid... I didn't do it on purpose. I would never do it on purpose. Five... Six...

'Veah, look at me.' I feel something hard on my arm, pulling on me, begging me to turn around. I shake my head and try to catch my breath. Seven... Eight...

'You hurt Leya-' 'Stop.' I know I did and I feel like shit. 'Don't drag her down with you.'

His words sting, especially because it sounds exactly like him.

His voice, his breathing, his everything. It just feels like he's laying behind me, ready to pull me in his arms.

Nine... 'You're hurting Leya.' I fucking know... 'You're hurting me.'

Ten... I can feel his hand on my shoulder now, slowly tightening his grip on me, and I stop breathing.

He's here. He's touching me. No.

This is a dream.

A sick fucking nightmare that my messed mind is forcing me into. 'Neveah. Look at me!'

I shake my head and let the tears escape, afraid that I'll break if I look at him but wanting to do nothing more than to look at him at the same time.

Because I want to see his face. I want to see the man I love just one more time.

'Cara...' I feel his pull on me and let him turn me around just a little, keeping my eyes shut so that I won't look at him. 'Look at me.'

I feel his hand on my face, wiping my tears. The tears that shouldn't be able to roll out of my eyes in the first place.

His hand feels the same, sending tingles through my cheeks, slowly spreading heat through my entire body. 'Neveah...' He whispers, his voice soft and gentle.

Please... Don't make me regret it.

I open my eyes and meet his eyes, the eyes I fell in love with and the eyes I'll love until the day I die.

'You hurt me.' Instead of tears, there's blood seeping out of his eyes. No...

When I slowly look at the rest of his face, I notice the rotting skin, dried-up blood, and open wounds.

And I lose it.

My lungs shut down and I feel his hands on my shoulders, pulling me closer to look at him.

'Neveah!' I try to close my eyes and wake myself up like Leya told me to, but it doesn't work.

I can't wake up.

'Leave me alone!' I shout at him, knowing that it won't help with anything, 'Please just leave me alone!'

'You hurt us.' Leya's voice chimes from my right, making me wonder if she's actually in the room, 'I will never forgive you for what you did.'

'I'm sorry...' I cry, not knowing what they want me to do, 'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just-' 'You hurt us.' They repeat, suddenly sounding sinister.

'Please stop!' They ignore me and pull the blankets off, slowly moving even closer. 'You hurt us.' They whisper at the same time, making my skin run cold as I fight for air.

'You really hurt us.' I notice something shimmering in their hands.

Something sharp and metal-like.

Like a knife.

'So now it's your turn.' Before I can stop them or move away from them or do anything, they both shove a knife in my stomach, not caring about the babies I'm carrying.

I scream at the top of my lungs, tears rolling down my face, and feel a new set of arms wrap around me as I bolt up.

My arms wrap around my belly and I try to get the knives out, but they're not there.

'It's okay.' A soft voice whispers as a hand brushes up and down my sweaty back, 'You're okay.'

I try catching my breath and push the person away, trying to create some distance for myself.

'Calm down, it's just me.' I knew Nico was in the room when I fell asleep, but I didn't expect him to still be there, 'You're safe.'

'Why-' I take a deep breath, hating the way all the sheets are sticking to my skin, 'What are you still doing here?'

'I told you, I'm not leaving.' I shake my head and climb out of bed, stumbling into the bathroom as my stomach starts twisting and turning.

Nico, who's wearing something else than he was before, follows me to the bathroom, patiently waiting by the door, as I quickly wash my face with some cold water.

'Do you have them often?' He asks after a few minutes of silence, 'The nightmares?'

'Yes.' I answer as I dry off my face with one of the towels that hasn't touched the floor yet. 'Every night?'

'Why does it matter?' I ask as I look at him through the reflection of the bathroom mirror.

His blue eyes pierce through me as his anger rises, but again, I didn't ask him to be here.

'So you're still mad?' I take a seat on the edge of the bathtub and keep my eyes on him, waiting for him to leave me the fuck alone. 'What do I have to do to make you forgive me?'

'How about you leave me alone and go to bed?' He takes a few seconds, before moving away from the door.

I wait until I hear the bedroom door open and or close, but none of that happens.

Instead, I hear a loud thud and Nico grunting. Don't tell me-

I get up and walk to the bedroom to find him laying on the bed, spread out like some fucking starfish.

'What are you doing?' He barely lifts his face enough to look at me and smiles. 'I'm leaving you alone and going to bed.'

'Your own bed.'

He rolls on his back and takes his time sitting up, 'Let me help you.'

I shake my head and walk back to the bed, slowly taking a seat on the other side, facing the windows.

'I want you to get out and let me rest.' I can feel his eyes burning in the back of my skull, waiting for me to turn around. 'I don't want to leave you alone, Neveah.'

His voice is so soft and gentle that it almost makes me look at him to see if I'm not imagining it. 'Why not?'

He left before, not that I needed him then, but he did it before. 'Because you almost killed yourself.'

'What happens to me shouldn't concern you,' My voice is barely audible, but I know he heard what I said, because he moves closer, 'I'm fine and it won't happen again.'

'It does concern me.' Dear god... I can feel him moving even closer, almost close enough to touch me. 'Why?'

I don't expect his feelings to still be the same. Not after all this time. Not after he hurt me the way he did.

'You know why.' I shake my head and get off the bed when I feel him move even closer. 'Stop that.'

'Neveah, I-' 'Just get out of my room and leave me alone.' I say as I head for the door.

It's still locked. As if he has been trying to keep everyone out on purpose, which he probably has.

'So you're still angry.' I unlock the door and throw it open before turning back to him. 'Get out.'

'Talk to me.' He pleads, moving to the edge of the bed just to look at me with pain in his eyes.

He hates that I'm shutting him out. He hates that I'm being distant. But what did he expect?

I keep my eyes on him, waiting for him to move, but he stays still.

'Please Neveah.' He sounds pained, miserable almost, but I shouldn't care.

'I'm sorry for everything I did, but I'm here to help you now.'

'I don't need your help.' He rolls his eyes and gets up, the movement startling me just a little. 'You tried to fucking kill yourself-' 'Get out.'

I'm too tired to deal with him or any of this and I just want to sleep.

'You can't just brush it off like it didn't happen, Neveah.' He takes a step closer, heading for me instead of the door. 'I didn't do it on purpose.'

I lean against the wall and keep my eyes on him, wanting to know what his next move is.

'That doesn't mean it didn't happen.' He closes the gap between us, taking my face in his hands and making me look at him, 'You could've- I don't even want to think about how today could've ended if they didn't safe you.'

'I'm fine now.' I mumble, trying to brush his hand off. But he puts it back up, touching me as if it's a miracle I'm still alive. 'Nico, please don't touch me.'

He inhales and slowly steps back, his arms dropping to his side, 'Go to bed.'

I walk back to bed and pull the covers back up, while Nico goes back to the chair beside the bed.

I roll over to look at him and frown, 'Why are you still in here.'

'I told you,' He chimes as he gets comfortable, or at least tries to, 'I'm not going anywhere.'

I roll my eyes and turn over to look at the ceiling, 'Where were you?'

I don't know why I'm asking him this now, I should be sleeping and trying to rest.

But instead, here I am. Asking Nico questions that don't matter.

'America.' I glance to the side, trying to see if he's looking at me, and he is. 'Why?'

'Everyone needed to hide so I decided to hide there.' He mumbles, slowly slumping down in a very uncomfortable-looking position, 'I ran into Alessio there.'

Alessio... 'Moretti?'

He nods and looks at the little gap between the curtains, 'Yes, the hidden family member.'

I roll back on my side and wrap my arms around my belly, feeling something move very slowly. 'Apparently, his family is moving around a lot.'

My eyelids start feeling heavy and I'm having a hard time staying awake. 'Veah?'

'Mhm?' I don't know why I'm answering him. I don't know why I want to know what he wants to ask. I don't know why he's here. 'I'm sorry and I promise to make it up.'

'Go away.' I say before turning around and trying to ignore him talking on about how sorry he is.

Something warm rushes through me as I slowly doze off again.

I wake up to sunlight falling on my face, and when I open my eyes, I notice the entire room is bright and warm.

A little too bright for my eyes.

My head instantly starts pounding as I get out of bed to close the curtains again.

When I climb into bed, my little cacoon of blankets and pillows is cold again, but Nico isn't sitting in his chair.

He left. Good.

A soft knock startles me a little, but not enough for the fucking headache to stop.

The door slowly opens, letting a sliver of light enter the dark room. I squint my eyes, trying to let them adjust to the bright light coming from the hall as my head continues to pound.

I hear little footsteps, so soft and gentle. Is that-

Victoria steps in, rushing over to me, as she tries to climb onto the bed.

'Victoria!' It's Celine. She runs in after her and sighs deeply. 'Sorry I-' I brush her away and try to wipe away my tears.

Brandon steps in, just after Celine, and sighs deeply. 'She wanted to see you.'

'It's okay.' I whisper, my voice nothing louder than the softest whisper on earth.

'Are you in pain?' Victoria asks, crawling next to me. I tilt my head and try not to burst into tears in front of her. 'Why?'

'I heard you crying and Leya said you cried because you were in pain.' She explains, moving closer to my face.

I'm happy that it's dark, that way she can't see my swollen eyes. I hope.

'So are you?' I nod and hold onto her tiny hands.

'Why?' Her voice is so soft and sweet and innocent. I don't want to explain myself to her, or to anyone for that matter, but I know I have to at some point.

I can't keep sulking about Tiago for the rest of my life. They need me to get up and move on. I need to move on. At some point.

'Because I lost someone close to me.' I whisper, letting a few tears escape. She notices them and gently wipes them away. 'But you still have me.' She chimes, making me smile a little.

'And look!' She points at my belly and slowly places her hands on me, 'You're going to have a baby too!'

I nod and wipe some hair out of her face, smiling at her excitement. 'Can I be a big sister?'

'That would mean-' 'Yes.' I mutter as I take her hand and quickly clear my throat, 'Yes, you can be their big sister.'

My heart flutters, because after months of pain, I finally feel happy. Or at least a little bit of it.

I wrap my arms around the little girl on my lap and squeeze her to death, letting the tears escape, not caring about what she might think.

'I love you Victoria.' I whisper into her hair as I hold her for just a few more seconds.

'I love you too!' She chimes as she wipes my tears away again, 'Now come down to eat with us.'

I nod and get dragged out of bed within five seconds. 'I need to brush my teeth first.'

She looks me up and down and nods, before turning back to the door.

Nico is standing there now, smiling at Victoria, before he looks at me. 'I'll watch her.'

They nod and head out of the room, all except Nico. 'I thought you were watching her?' I ask as I head for the bathroom.

He follows me, waiting in the frame of the door again, and shakes his head with a soft smile on his face, 'I was talking about you, the little monster can handle herself just fine.' Little monster...

'I didn't know she was coming back already.' I admit as I put some toothpaste on my toothbrush. 'I don't think she was supposed to be back, but I figured she would cheer you up a bit.' What?

'You brought her here?' I ask with the brush in my mouth. He nods and keeps his eyes on me, waiting for me to react. 'Why?'

'I just told you why.' I roll my eyes and continue to brush my teeth, making him wait for whatever my next question will be.

'Does Rio know?' He nods and leans against the doorframe, staring at the bedroom. 'You closed the curtains again.'

'The brightness was giving me a headache.' I admit, quickly washing my face, before heading back into the bedroom.

He nods and follows me to the door, watching me as if I might collapse again. But I'm feeling better today.

Not good, far from actually, but better than yesterday.

We head downstairs to eat breakfast with Celine, Victoria, and Brandon and listen to Victoria ramble on about how much fun she had with Ariana.

Celine tells me we're moving today, back to the house we were staying at during the wedding.

They all wait for me to react to that, but I don't see the point. It's just another house. A fancy mansion with enough rooms for each of us.

With all Tiago's stuff still there.

But every house we've been in so far has rooms filled with his stuff. Or memories of him.

'Good thing I already packed!' Victoria chimes as she takes my hand, 'I can help you!'

I nod and let her drag me along, back to my room. She helps me pack and tries to carry the bag all by herself.

'Let me help you.' Just as I reach for the bag, Nico takes it out of Victoria's hands and carries it down the stairs.

Victoria looks at me and rolls her eyes, 'Show-off.'

I laugh it off and take her hand as we follow him down the stairs, towards the front door.

'Everyone ready?' Marco asks as he stuffs the last bags into one of the cars. 'This is the last one.'

Nico hands him my bag and heads to one of the cars, followed by Kai and Celine.

A door opens behind all of us and I slowly turn around as everyone heads for a car.

Cataleya and Rio walk out of one of Rio's offices, looking as deadly as ever.

'Good morning.' She says, barely looking at me as they walk past me.

'Cataleya.' She turns around, locking her eyes with mine as she stays by Rio's side, 'I am so sorry for what happened yesterday. I didn't mean to scare you and I-

She runs over to me and wraps her arms around me as much as she can, without squishing the babies too much. 'I'm sorry.'

I wrap my arms around her and hug her back, noticing Rio staring at us in the distance. 'I'm so sorry.'

'It's okay.' I shake my head and pull back, looking at her face. 'It's not. I scared the shit out of you and I was selfish to take in all your time even though-' 'Stop it.'

'No.' She takes a deep breath and stays close to me, 'It's not fair and I'm so sorry. I love you and I promise it won't ever happen again.'

'Don't make promises you can't keep.' She mumbles as tears form in her eyes.

They're a mixture of sadness and fear, something I caused by how stupid I was acting yesterday.

'I'm sorry-' 'You're okay now, that's all that matters.' She insists as she hooks her arm around mine, 'I came up with this idea last night.'

'Tell her about it in the car.' Rio states, watching us- watching his wife, as Leya pulls me through the door. 'You want to be left out of the mafia-related stuff, right?'

I nod and let her drag me to one of the cars, the one Rio will be driving.

'Well, while I was with Hunter,' Her eyes glance at the front seat, at her husband, before she turns back to me, 'he made me stay on an island for a few weeks.'

I nod because she told me this already.

Apart from the Steels being there too, she loved it there.

'As you know, apart from the Steels and all the drama that happened there, it was absolutely amazing.' Rio starts the car and glances at Leya and me from time to time, curiously listening in on our conversation.

'What if we bought an island as our secret escape.' An island... Our secret escape...

'It could be off the radar, so nobody knows about it, and we could like put up an amazing security system just in case and-' 'Live on an island?' I ask, wondering why she would have to go too.

I would love to have her there, but I know for a fact that Rio wouldn't want her there for the rest of their lives.

'Not for the rest of our lives, but just for when we need a break.' She explains, taking my hand in hers. 'We could go there if we need a break and the others can come over there too, it would be like a holiday kind of.'

An island. Away from all of this, but still with the others.

I look at Rio and notice his eyes on me too.

'You could raise the twins there.' He says, making me warm up at the thought of it. 'We will hire the best nannies and tutors there are, just so that they wouldn't need anything else while we're on the island.' Leya fills in, making me smile.

'You planned it all out, didn't you?' She nods excitedly and moves to the edge of her seat. 'She couldn't stop talking about it this morning.'

Leya kicks his seat and turns back to me, waiting for me to answer. 'I don't know...'

'I know it all sounds a bit weird right now, but are you willing to try?' I tilt my head hesitantly and lean back in my seat. 'I just don't want to bother you guys more, I mean an entire island is a bit much.'

'Trust me, it's not just for you.' Leya chimes, pulling me closer, 'Just think about it first.'

I nod and lean my head on her shoulder, noticing Rio looking at us again. 'Eyes on the road, Rio.'

He smiles when Leya kicks his seat again and moves his eyes back on the road.

The entire drive goes by quickly, probably because Leya and I talk about the night I had with Nico.

She's almost laughing at how worked up I am over it, but feels sorry for me even though she shouldn't.

When we drive up the driveway of the house, she takes my hand in hers and rubs my arm.

My heart starts beating faster for some reason, but I don't get it. 'Are you sure you want to stay here?'

'I'll be fine.' I should be. It's not like this house is any different from all the others.

Just his bags and a few things he left before he died. Nothing to worry about...

We get out of the car and load everything back inside, all going on with our days.

Brandon has to go and get some more fabric for a skirt he's trying to make, Celine needs to operate on someone's leg and the guys disappear into Rio's office.

I decide to take a quick nap, but when I wake up, I notice a text from Leya saying she went to the grocery store with Victoria.

I make my way up the stairs and bump into Isabelle, who's almost running down the stairs to get something from the kitchen.

'There's no food!' She shouts as she walks back into the hall, looking at me. 'Leya's going to get some, she'll be back soon.'

She takes a deep breath and looks at my belly, her lips slowly curling up after such a long time.

'How did you sleep?' She knows about my nightmares as much as I know about hers.

They're both gruesome and horrifying.

'A little better than the past few weeks.' I admit. Because even though I had a nightmare, I did sleep better than I have lately. 'Is it because Nico is keeping you company?'

I can hear the faint curiosity in her voice, but it's leaning towards something else. 'What do you mean?'

'It's not wrong to get some comfort sex.' I roll my eyes and walk up the last steps, ignoring her because she's out of her head. 'I'm just saying! It might help!'

'No thank you.' I say as I head for my room.

I stop by the third door, looking at it as if it might burn down any second, and take a deep breath. Tiago's room...

I slowly open the door and look inside, secretly hoping that he will be sitting on the bed, waiting for me.

But the room is empty and dark, his stuff still laying in the corner of the room.

Untouched.

Yet it feels like he's here.

He's not, I know that. But I feel like he could walk in any second.

And kiss me. Hug me. Hold me.

He would ask how my day was and tell me about all the shit he had to deal with today.

I would do anything to hear his voice again.

I stay by the door and look around the room, trying to find some kind of sign that he's still alive.

And my eyes fall on something laying on his desk.

Two books with a golden ribbon holding them together and an envelope on top.

I force my legs forward and almost crumble to the floor.

ꜰᴏʀ ɴᴇᴠᴇᴀʜ is written on the envelope.

I want to shout. I want someone to take those books away from me.

Because it feels like a trap. A trap set up by the one we have locked up at the other house.

But I can't help but get curious about what's inside the envelope.

So I open it and slowly get on the floor, leaning against the desk. His desk.

My hands are shaking as I take out a piece of paper.

ᴅᴇᴀʀ ᴄᴀʀᴀ, It's no trap...

It's an actual letter from Tiago.

ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠɪɴɢ ꜱᴏᴏɴ. ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ ᴏꜰ ʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʙᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʟᴀʏ ɪɴ ʙᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ, ɪ'ᴍ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ.

He wrote this the day before the wedding... I don't remember him getting out of bed at all.

What I would do to go back to that night... I wish I could take it all back.

I want to take it all back.

ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪꜱ, ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ. ᴏʀ ʟᴇʏᴀ ᴏʀ ʙʀᴀɴᴅᴏɴ ᴏʀ ᴄᴇʟɪɴᴇ. ɪ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀᴅʀɪᴀɴᴏ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ.

I would never forget the others and I will never forget him, which hurts too much.

ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴀᴛ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴅᴇᴄɪꜱɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ. ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʟ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ. ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ. ɪ'ʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʙᴇ ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ.

ᴛɪ ᴀᴍᴏ ᴍɪᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ.

~ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴀɴᴅ You idiot...

Tears stream down my cheeks and I press the letter against my chest, hoping that this is all some sick joke.

I know he's dead, I have been mourning him for the last months, but I just wish this was all a joke. Or a cover-up.

That he'll walk through the front door and tell us all that he had to do it. That he had to lie about being dead.

Or that someone else is keeping him captive somewhere.

But no.

It's not.

This is all real, this is reality.

He's dead.

I reach for the two books and take the first one, quickly wiping my tears as I open up the book and start reading.

ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ꜰᴇᴡ ʜᴏᴜʀꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ꜰᴏᴄᴜꜱ ᴏɴ ꜰɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ʟᴇʏᴀ. ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ. ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ᴛɪᴇᴅ ɪɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀꜱᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʟᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ. ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ʟᴇʏᴀ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ɴᴇᴠᴇᴀʜ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ꜰᴏʀɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ

I forgive you... Rio was right, I'll always forgive him.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ʀɪᴏ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ʙʏ ᴄᴇʟɪɴᴇ ᴀ ꜰᴇᴡ ʜᴏᴜʀꜱ ᴀɢᴏ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴏᴏᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴋᴀɪ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟꜱᴇ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴍᴇ. ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴀᴄᴇ ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ'ᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ ɪꜰ ʀɪᴏ ᴏᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴏʀ. ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴜɴ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ᴀʀᴍꜱ? ᴏʀ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴍᴇ? ɢᴜᴇꜱꜱ ɪ'ʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴇᴇ....

Wait... That was the first place Rio and I went to. Celine's place. He was the one in that room, not Kai.

Rio told Celine he would hurt her child, he would hurt Leroy...

I wipe my tears again, but they don't seem to stop rolling down my cheeks, dripping on the paper.

ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴇxʜᴀᴜꜱᴛɪɴɢ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴏᴄᴜꜱ. ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴏᴄᴜꜱ ᴏɴ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʟᴇʏᴀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ꜱᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇᴀʜ, ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ. ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴀɪᴅ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ'ᴠᴇ ᴅɪᴇᴅ ɪꜰ ɪ ʜᴀᴅɴ'ᴛ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇꜱ ᴍᴇ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀꜱ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴀʏ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ. ᴀꜱ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ʟʟ ꜱᴇᴀʀᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʟᴇʏᴀ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪꜰ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴꜱ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʀ, ɪ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʏᴇꜱ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪʀʀᴏʀ ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ.

I scare myself too. Especially now that he's gone. Fuck... I didn't even know I could think about killing myself as much as I have been lately.

But that needs to stop...

I need to start thinking about my children, twins.

ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴍʏ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʜᴇʀ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴀᴡᴀʏ, ɪ ᴅᴏ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ᴘʟᴀɴ. ɪ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ ᴅɪᴅ. ꜱᴏ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ. ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ꜰᴏʀ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ, ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʟᴇʏᴀ ɪɴ ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀ, ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ɴᴇᴠᴇᴀʜ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ꜰᴏʀɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ.

The pages go on and on with at least the words I'm sorry written over a hundred times.

ɪ ꜰᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴ ɪꜱʟᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ. ʙʟᴜᴇ ɪꜱʟᴀɴᴅ. ɪ ʙᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴀ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ʙᴏᴀᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪᴛ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴇɴᴅ ᴜᴘ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ. ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ɪ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ ꜱᴏ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴀᴄᴋ. ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ɪ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴀʀᴍ, ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴʏ ᴘᴀɪɴ ᴏʀ ꜰᴇᴀʀ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ꜱʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴅᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ. ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ꜱʜᴇ ꜰᴏʀɢɪᴠᴇꜱ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ꜱᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ᴛᴏᴏ.

He keeps apologizing and it's making me feel worse and worse by the second.

Because I've been a bitch about it to him, I've been so hard on him. Fucking hell...

ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴇʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɪꜱʟᴀɴᴅ. ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀʙᴀɴᴅᴏɴᴇᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍᴏᴠᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ꜱᴏ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍᴏᴠᴇᴅ. ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ, ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴄᴀᴛᴀʟᴇʏᴀ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢʟʏ. ɪ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ꜰᴀʀ ᴀᴅʀɪᴀɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ꜱᴏ ꜰᴀʀ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀ ᴍʏ ᴛᴇxᴛꜱ ᴏʀ ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴀʟʟꜱ, ꜱᴏ ɪ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʀʏ.

And he didn't.

I had no clue what he was doing or where he was, but I figured he was trying his hardest to get Leya back.

And he truly was.

He wasn't fucking around like the others said he was. He was fighting for her.

ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅᴏ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ. ᴏʀ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴍɪʟᴇ. ᴏʀ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ. ɢᴏᴅ... ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɴᴇᴠᴇᴀʜ. ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ᴅᴏ. ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɴᴇᴠᴇᴀʜ.

I read the same paragraph over and over again, letting it sink into my heart. Because I wish I could do the same to him.

I wish I could see him just one last time. I wish I could listen to his voice again. I wish I could feel his touch again. I wish I could hear him laugh again. I just wish he wasn't dead.

ɪ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴀ ꜰᴜɴ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ, ᴡᴇ ꜰᴏᴜɢʜᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ ɪ ꜱᴀᴡ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪꜰ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ. ɪ ᴀᴍ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ʀᴇᴘᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅᴏ. ɪ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴇ ɪꜱ ᴍɪꜱꜱɪɴɢ.

I'm missing a part of me too... I'm missing my heart. I'm missing you.

ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜰʟʏ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴɢʟᴀɴᴅ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ. ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ. ɪᴛ ʜᴀꜱ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ. ɪ'ʟʟ ʟᴀʏ ʟᴏᴡ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇ ᴍʏ ꜱᴇᴀʀᴄʜ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ɪᴛ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ.

A few more pages are filled with the words I'm sorry over and over again, as if he kept repeating it to himself time and time again.

ɴᴇᴠᴇᴀʜ, ɪ ꜱᴀᴡ ʟᴇʏᴀ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ. ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴅᴀɴᴄɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴄʟᴜʙ. ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀ'ꜱ ᴍᴇɴ ꜱᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ꜱʜᴏᴏᴛɪɴɢ. Shooting...

Did he get hurt that night?

ɴᴏᴡ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ, ɪ'ᴍ ꜰɪɴᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ. ɪᴅɪᴏᴛꜱ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʜᴇʀ. ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ꜰɪɴᴇ, ɪ ꜱᴀᴡ ʜᴇʀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɢᴏᴛ ᴡᴏʀꜱᴇ. ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀʀᴍᴇᴅ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ. ꜱʜᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋꜱ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ. ɴᴏᴛ ᴀꜱ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴀꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏʀ ᴀᴅʀɪᴀɴᴏ ᴏʀ ᴄᴇʟɪɴᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ.

I said the same thing to Rio when he freaked out about her smiling with Hunter at the party in Russia.

ɪ ʜᴏɴᴇꜱᴛʟʏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴀɴ ᴀᴄᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ ꜱᴇᴇ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ, ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪ'ʟʟ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜰ ɴᴏᴛ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ɪ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ. ɪ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.

Wait... He went to the party as well?

ɪ ᴘᴀɴɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ. ɪ ᴘᴀɴɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ꜱᴀᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ. ᴇꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟʟʏ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ꜱᴀᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴛᴀɴᴅɪɴɢ ꜱᴏ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ɴɪᴋᴏʟᴀɪ ʙʀᴏᴠꜱɪ. ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪꜱ ʜᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀɪꜱᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴍɪʟɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪᴍ. ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ. ᴀᴛ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴀᴅʀɪᴀɴᴏ ᴍᴜꜱᴛ'ᴠᴇ ꜱᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴜᴘ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʜɪᴍ. ꜱᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪᴍ.

No. Fucking. Way...

He was there that night. He was in the same room as I was. As all of us.

And we didn't even see him. And he saw me with Nico...

ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢʟʏ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ɪᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀɴʏ ꜱᴇɴꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ. ᴡʜʏ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀᴅʀɪᴀɴo ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ? ᴅɪᴅ ʜᴇ ʜᴜʀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ? ᴡʜʏ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴɪᴋᴏʟᴀɪ ʙʀᴏᴠꜱɪ? ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪꜱ ᴀᴅʀɪᴀɴᴏ?

I flip through a few more pages of apologies and fight the urge to rip apart the book. Because it's not fair that I'm just finding out about all of this now.

He was fucking there, he could've-

ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴛᴏᴘᴘᴇᴅ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴᴏᴛᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ. ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜʏ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟ ᴏꜰ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ. ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴛᴇ, ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ, ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ʜᴀꜱ ꜱᴀɪᴅ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇᴍ.

I didn't write every day, but I did write the important stuff. And I was going to give it to him before I left.

I was going to leave it in his room the morning I left, since we weren't really on talking terms. It would've been up to him if he would read them or not.

And now he's gone...

ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡɪꜱʜ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʟɪꜰᴇ. ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴜꜱ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇꜱ ᴡᴇ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ᴏɴ ᴅᴀᴛᴇꜱ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜᴛ ɪ ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ. ᴇꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟʟʏ ɪɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ.

Suddenly it feels like my phone is burning through my pants, straight into my skin. The videos...

I haven't looked at them in fear of losing it. Just like I'm losing it now.

ʟᴇʏᴀ ɪꜱ ɪɴ ʟᴏɴᴅᴏɴ, ɪ ꜱᴀᴡ ʜᴇʀ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ. ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴅʀɪᴠɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀ, ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ꜱʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴡ ᴍᴇ. ꜱʜᴇ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ. ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴜᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ. ꜱᴏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ.

Leya told me about this. She killed someone that day. But he was there.

ꜱʜᴇ ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ, ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ, ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴀꜱ ᴡᴇʟʟ. ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴍᴇ. ɪꜰ ʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴍᴇ, ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ꜱᴄʀᴇᴡᴇᴅ. ʜᴇ'ꜱ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏꜰ ᴜꜱ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇɴ.

She did dissapear after a while.

ɴᴏᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅꜱʜᴇᴅ. ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴡʜʏ ᴀᴅʀɪᴀɴᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀɪꜱᴋ ɪᴛ. ʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀɪꜱᴋ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀʀᴍɪɴɢ ᴄᴀᴛᴀʟᴇʏᴀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴄᴇꜱꜱ. ᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛʟʏ ʜᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀꜱ ᴡᴇʟʟ.

Rio likes me... I only know Rio's drunk confession about us being friends, but I don't think I've heard him say something like that before or after that.

ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ɪɴꜱᴀɴᴇ. ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴛᴀʙʙᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴏᴘ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴍᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇᴀʜ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.

And what did I do? I screamed like some freak and cried. But I would never kill you...

ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇᴅ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ. ɴᴏ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴍᴇ, ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴇ ᴏʀ ʜᴜʀᴛ ᴍᴇ, ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱᴛᴏᴘ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ.

My heart stops as I reread that sentence over and over again.

As fucked up as it is, I can't help but feel warmth rushing through me, followed by a wave of pain.

He loved me more than anyone ever has, but he's gone. He's dead.

ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴀʙ ᴍᴇ, ᴀꜱ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴀꜱ ꜱᴏᴏɴ ᴀꜱ ᴡᴇ ʀᴇᴜɴɪᴛᴇ, ᴀꜱ ꜱᴏᴏɴ ᴀꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʟᴏɴɢ ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ꜱʜᴇ ɪꜱ, ɪ'ʟʟ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ. ɪ'ʟʟ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ʟʟ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ꜱʜᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴍᴇ.

My heart splinters again, aching as if I'm being stabbed by Tiago himself.

ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴀᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴍɪᴏ. ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴀꜱ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.

Leonardo Tiago Curzio... The man that wouldn't care if he died, as long as I knew he loved me.

I go to the next page and notice a few stains on the paper. His thumbprint is on the corner of the paper, making me wonder what type of ink he used to make it.

It's dark with a red undertone and when I read the words torture on the paper, I kind of figure out what it is.

ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴀꜱᴋᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴡʜʏ ɪ'ᴍ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜɪꜱ. ᴡʜʏ ɪ ᴛᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴄᴀᴛᴀʟᴇʏᴀ. ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅʀᴀᴡ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜ, ɪ ᴄᴏɴꜰᴇꜱꜱᴇᴅ. ɪ ꜱᴀɪᴅ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ʟɪꜰᴇ. ɪ ᴄᴏɴꜰᴇꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ɪᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ꜱᴀɪᴅ:

ꜱʜᴇ ɪꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ. ᴀɴɢʀʏ. ʀᴇꜱᴛʀᴀɪɴᴇᴅ. ᴜɴᴛᴀᴍᴇᴀʙʟᴇ. ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴɴᴏᴄᴇɴᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜱ ᴅᴇᴇᴘᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇ ᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ. ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛᴡɪꜱᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʀᴇʜᴇɴᴅ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴅʀᴏᴡɴ ɪɴ ɪᴛ. ɢᴇᴛ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴜɴᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟʟᴀʙʟᴇ ᴡᴀᴠᴇꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅʀᴀɢ ᴍᴇ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʀɪɢʜᴛ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ꜰᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ. ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪꜱᴋ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʀᴇᴇᴅᴏᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴅᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀᴇ. ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɢᴏ ᴏɴ ᴡʜᴇɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ. ɴᴏᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴀʟᴍ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪꜰᴜʟ ᴀʀʀᴀʏ ᴏꜰ ʟɪɢʜᴛ ʙʟᴜᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴇʟʟᴏᴡ ꜱᴀɴᴅꜱ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴅᴇᴘᴛꜱ ᴄᴏᴀᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ɪɴᴅɪɢᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴜɴꜱᴛᴏᴘᴘᴀʙʟᴇ ʀᴀɢɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴏʀᴍꜱ.

This man... Will have my heart. Until the day I fucking die.

I read that paragraph a few more times, melting at the way he thinks of me.

Tiago has always been affectionate towards me, but this just makes my heart beat faster and faster each time I read it.

It also hurts more and more each time I read it, but I somehow am able to ignore it.

ɴᴏʀᴛʜᴇʀɴ ᴄᴜʀꜱᴇ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴅʀɪᴀɴᴏ. ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ. ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ɪᴛ ɪꜱ. ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀʏ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪᴍ ꜱᴏ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴏᴠᴇʀ.

Nothern Curse... Our ship.

ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʜᴜɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʟᴇʏᴀ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ᴍᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ɪ ɢᴇᴛ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ. ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀᴠᴇ ʜᴇʀ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ.

I wonder how he didn't lose hope after all these tries.

ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ɪ'ʟʟ ᴛʀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪꜰᴛʜ ᴀᴛᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛ ꜱᴏ ꜰᴀʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ. ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟɪᴍʙ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅᴏᴡꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ʟʟ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪꜰ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ᴅᴏ.

The paragraph is short and ends just like that, making me wonder if he even wrote anything else since I'm nearing the end of this book.

But when I flip the page, I notice a whole new paragraph.

ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ꜱʜɪᴛ. ɪ ᴍᴇᴀɴ, ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ʜᴇʀ. ɪ ꜰᴏᴜɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ ʀᴏᴏᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅʀᴀɢɢᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅᴏᴡ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ɴᴀᴍᴇᴅ ɪꜱᴀʙᴇʟʟᴇ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴅ, ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴡᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴄᴀᴜɢʜᴛ. ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ɢᴜʏ ɴᴀᴍᴇᴅ ɴᴏᴀʜ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴜꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴇʏᴀ ᴘᴀɴɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ.

That night... He almost got her out of there. He almost got them both out that night.

ꜱʜᴇ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ꜱᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴇʀ. ꜱᴏᴍᴇʜᴏᴡ ɪ ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅᴏᴡ. ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴜɴ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀꜱ ᴍᴇɴ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ꜱᴇᴀʀᴄʜɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀꜱ ᴡᴇʟʟ, ꜱᴏ ɪ ʟᴇꜰᴛ.

And then he came to us.

ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏ ᴄʟᴜᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ɴᴏᴡ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴀᴅʀɪᴀɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʜɪᴍ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ. ꜱᴏ ɪ'ᴍ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀxɪ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ. ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀꜱ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀꜱ ɪ ᴅᴏ, ꜱɪɴᴄᴇ ʟᴇʏᴀ ɪꜱ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴇᴇʟꜱ.

Tiago... For fuck's sake...

Be alive somewhere. Be happy somewhere. Be safe somewhere.

And somehow, magically, make your way back to me.

Because I need you.

But for now. I'll manage.

I promise I'll live through this.

I have to.

----

A/N: An island? What do you guys think? Will it work?

Neveah is veryyy preggo right now. What if something happens?

Will Nico make another move on her?

And what about Leya and Rio? How will things go for them?

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU STILL ENJOY THIS STORY <3

Don't forget to vote and comment on what you liked the most in this chapter!

I'll see you guys in the next chapter, have a wonderful day/night my loves <3