quick question I forgot in the a/n!! do you guys prefer more or less frequent (y/n) and other reader insert tags?

happy holidays!!!

—————

The Heat of the Moment

•••

When I cracked open my crusted eyes, I gasped. The air in the room was stale, cold, and smelled like disinfectant. All around me were shades of muted blue and white.

Disoriented, I scoped out my surroundings. Somehow, I had ended up in the hospital. My suit remained on, although it appeared mildly tattered and torn in some areas.

I was hooked up to an IV, restricting my arms. A heart monitor beeped in the distance at the same rhythm as my muted headache. All I could think to do was groan. There was a small cup of water on my nightstand.

Memories slowly slipped back into my brain of the last thing I remembered. Minta's face was engraved in my very core, her confidence and her downfall. I remembered, in spurts and bursts, everything that had occurred. Trying to summon everything was like watching a movie out of order.

It would come to me, for sure. But for right now, I was too thrown to care.

Looking along my form, I looked fairly okay. I had a splint along my right arm, a wrap around my foot, and I felt incredibly stiff, but besides that I seemed alright. A little weaker than usual, but okay.

It paid off to have healing powers, surely. My body saved me again and again, and this was no different.

I pushed myself up into a seated position, reaching around to take a sip of the water. My throat was dry, feeling relieved at the direct hydration.

I set the cup back down, which clinked against the table, and shifted myself around to sit relaxed on the edge of the bed. A soft grunt left my mouth as I moved, taking extra care not to disturb anything. It felt like I entered heaven, being able to stretch out my legs and move my body.

My door clicked open, gathering my full attention. Somewhat gingerly, Cecil stepped into the room. His shoes clicked softly along the floor as he stepped in, sure to shut the door behind him. He remained standing a distance away from me, like I was magnetically repelling him, with his arms held behind his back.

"Good morning, (Y/N)," Cecil said. "We've been watching you."

I nodded. "Good morning, Cecil. That's not weird or creepy at all."

"Do you know how long you've been out?" Cecil asked, completely blowing off my comment.

"A few hours?" I guessed with a shrug. "Feels like I took a nice nap."

"A nice long nap," Cecil corrected. "Affinity has been decommissioned for three days."

"Me?" I exclaimed. "Did I not heal myself?"

"Oh, you healed yourself alright," Cecil remarked, taking a step closer into the room. He pointed a calculated hand at my own. "We had to fix you."

"Fix me?"

"It can be particularly finicky with your type. Since you healed yourself so fast, presumably in a position where you couldn't, we had to have you re-heal yourself. Your hand was wildly out of shape, so we broke it again and set it to repair correctly."

I eyed my hand, turning it side to side, upside down, and even waving it in front of my face. I would've never known it had been so mangled before if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.

"You'll learn how to do that on your own in due time," Cecil remarked. "It's like muscle memory. I take it you've never been in a one on one combat like that."

There was no question in his words. We both knew I hadn't - during my entire hero career, aside from a couple of petty thieves and my training against the Guardians, I'd never had to fight alone. Always, I had someone to back me up.

"Yeah," I remarked. I sighed, but looked Cecil in the eyes with a half hearted smile. "You should've seen the other guy."

"Unfortunately, we didn't. There was no body left behind when we found you," Cecil remarked, any hint of a smile disappearing off his face. "There was blood splattered, and your crumpled body, but no other being."

I blinked. My brain couldn't process what I was being told.

"What?"

"Whoever you took down was either an apparition, or got up and left," Cecil repeated. "And judging by the gore you left behind, I can't imagine it wasn't the latter."

I sputtered, gripping my forehead and shaking my head. There was a dull throbbing beginning to shine through.

"What?" I said again, more confused than I'd ever been in my life.

Cecil stood silently, monitoring my discomfort, before sighing. "I'll let you get some rest. There's a call button to your right if you need anything."

Moments ago, I felt ready to get out and go. Now, though, I couldn't imagine myself standing all the way up. I felt like there was a weight in my head and I was going to fall face first.

I nodded, still lips parted slightly in processing. I took one final sip of water, hardly quenching my dried up throat, and laid back down on the bed. My stomach churned.

Cecil left silently, probably getting ready to complain about how dramatic heroes could be while Donald sat there and said 'uh huh'.

I wasn't able to sleep, especially not with the lights so bright. Cecil should've turned them off.

Instead, I laid there. Thinking.

It felt worse than the fight itself.

A couple hours later I decided I'd done enough thinking and it was time to do something about it.

Minta had left me alive, despite having a perfect shot to take me out for good. She seemed so in tuned with my skills - surely she had to know that once I was drained, I was drained.

If she had gone in for a killing shot, I probably would have died. I wasn't awake to defend myself by taking her life force, and I had been all but drained of mine.

Essentially, I was left with all of my humanity and none of my Vakility.

Which means it was deliberate. Which means she wasn't done with me. Which means she had some ulterior motive beyond killing me. Which means...

There were too many 'which means' for me to count.

Not to mention the 'which means' that would arise if I had misunderstood the situation. Because if, maybe, Minta hadn't left on her own, but instead was removed by someone else... then that 'someone else' had left me alive as well.

This theory left me with a few plot holes, but it hurt my brain to think about.

For the most part, other than my timbers being entirely shivered, I was feeling okay. My strength was back, my body was in mint condition, and I could hardly even see scars.

I had never in my life been more excited to be back in the game. Each minute I started growing stronger was another minute I would be more prepared for any second attack.

And now, as it turned out, I had furthered my abilities. I could completely take someone's life.

And make it mine.

The thought made me shiver a bit. It seemed kinda fucked up in thought. It seemed kinda fucked up in practice. And it seemed even more fucked up after seeing what my mom did.

With all my problems, I took to the one person I knew I could trust.

Invincible.

Thus bringing us to the current scene - Invincible and I, as Affinity, back on that same skyscraper roof. He crouched atop of a fan, watching intently as I rattled off my thoughts as fast as I could in a vain attempt to keep up with them.

I gestured wildly with my hands as I narrated my harrowing battle, and then in exclamation as I recalled Cecil's news. Every few moments I would look towards the boy, just to be sure he was still listening (and not bored out of his mind).

Without fail, I caught him silently reacting every time.

I told him about being beaten within an inch of my life, I told him about the extent of my powers, and, shamefully, I told him about what I did to Minta.

"Yeah, that sounds like a real problem," Invincible stated as I came to a close. He nodded solemnly.

I couldn't tell if he was really thinking or if he hadn't absorbed a word I just said. I blinked, standing stock still while he stared off into space.

"You know," Invincible added, "you did everything right through the whole battle. That's exactly what I would've done. Probably anyone else, too."

I knew which detail he had picked up on immediately.

"I don't regret it," I agreed, although I looked toward my feet. "But I wanted to kill her. This whole time it's just been a matter of protecting everyone. Of course there would be casualties - us, or them. But this time... because it felt so personal..."

I trailed off, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"It feels more real?" Invincible finished.

"Yeah. Because at that time, my intent was to kill. It wasn't to protect. I didn't even care about protecting myself anymore. I wanted to take her out, even if I took myself out with it."

"Was it really you?" Invincible asked. "Or was it your powers? Was it Affinity, or was it Vakilia?"

I shook my head.

"I don't know. I don't know if I want to know. I'd always known I could take others strength through its force onto me, but I hadn't realized I could drain someone.

It makes it a little more screwed up, doesn't it? Sure, okay, I wanted to kill her. Anyone can do that if they really want to - anyone can be driven to that, for self preservation or whatever. But I was killing her for myself."

"I don't really believe that's what you were trying to do, though," Invincible said. "I think you were trying to protect yourself. And in the moment, that was the only way you knew how. Desperate times, desperate measures. That sort of thing."

I hummed, mulling it over. My chest still felt heavy, and I never was able to sort out all of my thoughts, but his words made my hands feel a little less bloodied.

It would take time for me to come to terms with it, but deep down I trusted his words. One day, maybe I'd work through my conflicting feelings and come out a stronger hero because of it.

"And I gotta admit, that's a pretty hardcore power to have." Invincible smiled, flashing gorgeous white teeth.

I laughed, softly but with heart. It was a perfect lead in to a moment of comfortable silence.

Invincible got up and walked beside me, his feet clicking softly atop the roof. I could feel my heart rate quicken, fighting off Minta's words echoing in my head and all sorts of insecurities, and allowed my eyes to meet his goggled ones.

"Do you think any less of me?" I whispered, breath caught in my throat. My bpm had never been higher.

Invincible scoffed softly, shaking his head. "Never. You did what you had to do - you have to remember, she attacked you. And it seemed like she had every intent to kill you from the start, although I can't be sure why she wouldn't finish you off - no offense!"

"None taken," I remarked, although the fact he had to clarify 'no offense' made me a little offended. "Thank you."

I felt like a chain had been broken within myself. I could live with thinking less of myself. But I wasn't sure if I'd be okay knowing Invincible saw me as something pitiful.

"You don't have to thank me. Saving people is kinda my job."

I nudged him with my elbow playfully, rolling my eyes. He cried out in mock pain, gripping his side like I'd stabbed him.

The two of us laughed, feeling somewhat out of place after a conversation like that one.

It was a good out of place.

"Seriously, though. You can trust me to be here when you need me," Invincible promised, laying a hand on my shoulder.

The hero smiled earnestly, in a way that allowed his teenage boy-ness to shine through. It was somewhat awkward and frankly, very sweet.

"Thank you, again," I said. "I'd like to think I could do the same for you."

I looked up into his eyes, and there was nothing more I wanted to do than to kiss him. I wanted to feel my lips dancing agains his, his hand gently gripping the small of my back and pulling me in, his other thumb caressing my cheek. I wanted to close my eyes and immerse myself in him...

But remembered Mark, who I thought of often before I'd go to sleep, and would stare at the back of his head during class, and then I remembered Minta's words about Eve.

About Amber.

And I knew the action was out of the question. I felt locked out of heaven, my excitement forced to dim as Invincible removed his hand from my shoulder.

In that moment I decided I had to do something. I wasn't sure if after the whole ordeal I deserved anyone so good, but I'd think about it forever with regret if I didn't.

I was going to make a move.

But I'd have to get my courage up first.