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A sob escaped. I gritted my teeth against another one, yet tears would not stop.

Oh God. Did I kill someone? The thought fogged up my mind.

I had attacked someone and drank their blood. That was all I could think of.

Panic wrung my lungs and sent my heart into a frenzy. Blood rushing to my ears, I stumbled my way back to my room and snatched one of my daggers from where I kept it near my pillow. My hands shook uncontrollably. Tears blurred my vision.

The tip of the blade dug into my chest. All it would take was one firm push and the dagger would be lodged in my heart. One push and I would rid the world of the insanity in my blood.

A thought popped to my head right then, a distant memory that piereced through the mist of panic and horror.

"I'll be the first to put a stake through my heart," I had told Arthur when he asked if I felt any vampiric tendencies.

"Don't," he had said, "just tell me. If you feel different, tell me first."

"Okay, I promise. I'll tell you as soon as I feel the need to rip someone's throat out for blood."

That had been my reply. I had promised him. And now the moment had come.

The dagger dropped to the ground. I went back to the bathroom, washed my face one last time, steeled my nerves and went out. I didn't need to get out of my room. Because when I opened the door, Arthur was right there.

He looked at my hands, shaking and pink from blood that wouldn't wash off. His gaze scanned my face. Then he was inside, locking the door behind him and gathering me in his arms.

I broke down.

Fat tears rolled down my face until Arthur's shirt was soaked through. There was a boulder in my throat, shutting the air out of my system. I never remembered crying like I did now. Not since uncle Robert died.

Was I already mourning myself? my sanity?

The thought echoed in my head, drawing me from the pond of gloom I was drowning in. Arthur pulled away, his hands on my shoulders.

"Alright, go take a shower."

I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head. "The blood. I have to know where it came from."

"From the fridge in my study," Arthur replied, "you drained two bottles of blood, and left the third on the floor."

It took a few moments for his words to sink in. My knees almost buckled. Breath left my lungs in a loud woosh. Relief lightened my heart. I sighed and closed my eyes. I hadn't killed anyone.

The distasteful fact that I actually drank blood paled in comparison to my relief.

"It stained my floor."

I snorted and opened my eyes. Arthur looked amused, but I could sense his worry and determination through the bond. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay, I'll take a shower and then we'll talk."

"Should I come with you? earlier you said that we'll talk after you take a nap, and look what happened." He clicked his tongue. "I really shouldn't leave you on your own again. Let's shower together."

I rolled my eyes and escaped to the bathroom. I wasn't even sure he was joking. I stared at the door.

Just for good measure, I locked it. Not that a lock would stop him.

I took a shower in record time, scrubbing my skin raw with soap until no hint of blood remained on me. Then I realized that I didn't bring in a change of clothes.

"Ugh! Real smooth, Elle," I grumbled. Wrapping myself in a fluffy white robe, I cracked the door open and peeked through.

"Arthur?"

"Yes?"

He was laying on the bed, arms crossed behind his head and legs crossed at the ankles. The covers had been stripped and were nowhere to be seen.

He raised his brows.

"Can you get out for a bit?" I asked.

He grinned. "Now, why would I do that?"

I glared. His grin widened.

"Asshole," I muttered and closed the door.

"I heard that!" he called.

"I know! You were meant to!" I called back. Looking at the dirty clothes on the counter, there was no way I was putting them back on. Just the thought made my skin crawl. There was blood on the sleeves and the collar of the shirt.

With a huff, I pulled the door open and strode out. Arthur's eyes made my skin heat up. Crouching next to my suitcase, I pulled out a change of clothes, keeping my underwear out of Arthur's line of sight, and went back to the bathroom.

Arthur's chuckle made me wish I had a dagger on me.

I sighed. Just when did I start trusting him enough to be unarmed and basically naked in front of him? The thought that he might hurt me was absurd.

I changed into a hoodie and sweatpants. I felt comfortable and warm. And sated. I didn't want to admit that the blood had something to do with it.

Arthur sat cross legged on the bed. He patted the spot in front of him.

"Where did the cover go?" I asked, taking a seat.

"Camelia took care of it," he replied. To my look of confusion, he explained, "one of the maids."

He framed my face with his hands and leaned in, looking into my eyes. My heartbeat spiked and my magic swayed.

"You feel calmer, now."

I blinked. "You could feel it?"

He nodded. "It was there, lurking in the bond. I thought it might go away if you took some blood."

"Wait, you knew it was going to happen?"

"There was a chance."

"Couldn't you have warned me?!" I growled out.

He shook his head. "It was just a guess. Warning you might have had the opposite effect."

Right. It might actually have planted the thought in my head and made it into a reality when it was just a possibility.

Arthur pecked my lips and leaned back. I rubbed my heating face.

"So, what do I do now?" I asked, "do I have to keep drinking blood?" The thought did not thrill me.

"I expect that might be the case," he said, "you need to drink it, otherwise episodes like tonight's might happen again."

"Yeah, and next time it might not be a bottle I drink from."

"I won't let that happen," he said, "however, there is something else. This morning, Charles said something that triggered your blood lust."

I stiffened, "how did you know?"

"I felt something through the bond," he replied, "And Amanda is sharp. She has experience dealing with new vampires."

I frowned at my lap. I did not want to remember the feeling of this morning. For a fraction of a second, I had been a monster and all I cared about was tearing Charles' throat apart.

"Normally, taking blood consistently will reduce blood lust, for new vampires," he said, "however, you're not a vampire."

"So?"

"First, you'll be following a strict regimen of blood and regular food until we know exactly how much and how often you need blood. Marianno will work with you on that," Arthur said, "you also have to train to control it when you get angry or emotional."

"How will I do that?"

"What do you know about werewolves?"

I shook my head. Good to know that his ability to give me whiplash did not disappear. What did werewolves have to do with anything?

"Um, what everyone else knows, I guess?"

"They have to live with a wolf inside," Arthur said, "sometimes, when the wolf is strong, it might overpower the shapeshifter's will."

"So what if that happens?" I asked, "I mean, the wolf is still just an animal."

"In a werewolf, the wolf half is affected by magic. It is created to be in balance with the 'human' half," Arthur said, "When the wolf is too strong, the werewolf's reasoning and decision making process become impaired. They lust for power and violence, becoming monsters."

I remembered the few times I had to hunt down a rogue shapeshifter. Of course, being a "human" headhunter at the time meant that I was given only weak rogues. Still, they always had a crazed look in their eyes.

"What do crazy werewolves have to do with me?" I asked.

"Alpha werewolves have extremely strong wolves," Arthur said, "they learn to live with them. Your situation is not very different. You have to learn to live with the blood lust, you need to learn to control it when you're angry. Because there's a strong chance that even with taking in blood, the blood lust will not completely abate."

I let his words sink in. The room, I realized, was still dark.

"Why can I see so clearly in the dark?" I asked, feeling stupid that I just noticed this now.

Arthur smiled. "perks of being almost part vampire. It's not all bad."

"Hmph."

"Anyway, the reason I brought up werewolves is because I know just the person to help you control your blood lust."

"Who?"

"Noah. He's a strong alpha wolf. One of the strongest back in America." He frowned, then added, "one of the strongest in the world, actually. He's got outstanding control over his wolf. He'll be a good teacher."

"You trust him?"

"I trust that he will not hurt you," he said, "he's a principled man. He owes me a favor. He will not taint his honor by doing a halfhearted job of teaching you, or by divulging our secrets."

I rubbed my face. Even more people will know of my slight lapse in craziness. I nodded.

"Should we tell Orion?" I asked.

"Should we?"

I winced. The thought of showing a stranger my weakness made my hackles rise. And yes, Orion was a stranger. But...

"He might know something about this," I said, "since my mother went through a similar experience. Well, as similar as it could get. But I don't know..."

Arthur let me think in peace. I had no doubt that he had already figured out all the pros and cons of telling Orion and all the courses of action we could take should he prove to be a threat to me. So I appreciated him giving the time to think this through myself.

I yawned obnoxiously. My brain did not want to do any thinking at the moment, though. Arthur stretched on the bed and patted the spot beside him. "Let's go to sleep-"

"In your dreams."

He grinned. "Oh, in my dreams we do a lot more-"

I kicked him. He grabbed my foot and dragged me towards him. After a moment of disorientation, I was laying beside him with my head on his arm.

"Ugh..." I closed my eyes against the dizziness. He was way too fast.

"Sorry," he said, a smile in his voice. I elbowed him in the side. He merely laughed.

"You're way too violent, honey," he said.

"Yeah, get used to it," I grumbled, "Tough love is my brand."

I usually temper my strength when I joke around like this. But even a full blown kick would only tickle Arthur.

He smelled good.

My nostrils flared and I turned towards him. He raised his brow, still laying on his back. No, seriously. He smelled really good. I sniffed again.

"Your senses are sharpening," he said, "it will take some time getting used to."

"Right." I took another deep whiff. I was getting a little creepy so I stopped.

Arthur's arm was sturdy. It shouldn't have been comfortable, yet it was. I turned on my back, staring at the ceiling.

I could see the painting on the ceiling even though it was dark. This was tricky. Arthur was right, it needed getting used to.

My eyelids drooped. Arthur was quiet and warm beside me. My magic settled, as if asleep. The bond was peaceful and fuzzy. My thoughts drifted away, sleep chasing them. I curled up next to the warm furnace beside me and slept.



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