Kid gloves.

Three days after the incident, I was still being treated with kid gloves.

Arthur was distant. His end of the bond was sealed shut. It was the first time it happened since I began feeling the bond. There was an aching void in my chest with which I didn't know how to deal.

Everyone else was tiptoeing around me. Even Charles, who usually either glared or looked like he wanted to cuss at me, gave me apologetic glances with those baby blue eyes of his.

Amanda, Noah and Charles were all apologetic towards me. Why? Because the entire fiasco with Charles slapping Amanda was staged.

Staged.

They should go to Hollywood, that's for sure.

Arthur was the one who told me. Right after he urged me to take a shower, he spilled the beans about Noah's plan to provoke me since I had been way too composed for his taste. Noah wanted to identify my strongest trigger, which he suspected, from watching me over the days, would be my protective instincts.

My biggest trigger was someone I cared about getting hurt. Noah hadn't thought I would lose it that badly, apparently. Arthur hadn't known about the plan until he was on the way after he felt me lose it through the bond.

The atmosphere in the house was tense. Amanda and Noah were giving me space. Charles couldn't, since he was still my guard. And everyone else smiled sadly at me whenever they met my eyes. Except Kat, of course. She didn't treat me any different than usual. And for that, she was my favourite person at the moment.

Arthur was just ... pissed, at everyone, including me.

Still, he came home every night after his endless meetings at Venus' palace.

Since things were tense, I didn't sleep in his room that first night after the incident. I stayed in my bed, but couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned, terrified that I would sleep walk and tear Noah's throat out since he was the object of my ire, at the moment. However, a couple of hours into the night, the door opened. Arthur slipped in and laid down beside me.

It was awkward, tense, uncomfortable. But I was asleep like a log only minutes later.

He slept in my room every night since.

I didn't know how to deal with this loaded silence between us. I had apologized, yet an apology seemed awfully insufficient for the situation. Because I knew that if I was in Arthur's shoes, anger would be an inadequate description for what I would feel.

The morning of the fourth day, Amanda found me brooding on the balcony. Charles was standing guard just a few feet away, as usual. His neck didn't bear any mark from my teeth, yet I wouldn't forget that I had torn into it like a mindless beast only days earlier. I didn't know how to deal with him, so I ignored him, like he did me. I should probably apologize...

"Can I join you?" she asked, peeking through the french doors. Wisps of golden hair framed her face, her eyes big and clear in the morning light.

Was I still angry at her? Had I even been angry at her, in the first place? It had been Noah's plan, she was simply following orders.

I gestured to the chair across the table from me. "Please."

She beamed, and her smile demolished the last of my reserves against her. Waltzing in, she took a seat. "Can I help you?"

"Not really, no." I was cleaning my weapons. The routine helped me think and clear my head, more than anything else.

"So, am I still in the dog house?"

My lips twitched up. "You're not in the dog house, Amanda." I sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm not myself these days. It's not your fault, it's just..."

"It kind of is," she said. "I didn't agree with Noah's plan. But... I should've pushed harder."

"No. I don't know if I should even be mad at Noah. He was just doing his job. I just..." I took a deep breath. "I don't really have the right to be mad at anyone. I've accepted Noah's help, that means I should be able to deal with whatever he throws my way with no complaints, including this plan of his."

My hand slowed on the blade I was cleaning. Speaking about the matter actually made it become clearer, it made me take a step back and see it objectively. It helped.

"I'm more mad at myself, I guess," I mumbled, casting a glance Charles' way. His focus was on the grounds below, but he was clearly listening.

I started putting the knives in the leather roll. Amanda stayed quiet for a few minutes, letting me work through my words in my brain.

I had always known that the risk of insanity was in my blood. But to actually live through it was a different matter altogether.

Uncle Robert had trained me strictly in hope that the discipline would help my self control. The fact that I had snapped and attacked a friend- and yes, in a way, Charles was a friend- made me feel as though I had disappointed uncle Robert, as if everything I'd been through did not matter in the end. As though my mother's sacrifice and uncle Robert's were in vain.

I was angry at myself for succumbing to insanity. And scared that I would do so again if a similar situation arose.

I was scared of myself.

I couldn't trust myself any longer, and the only person I had been able to trust for almost all my life, up to recently, was me. Losing that shook me.

I gathered the roll and put it aside, then flattened my palms on the table. My fingernails were short and clear, as opposed to Amanda's pink painted ones.

"What if I never learn to control it?" I whispered under my breath, hoping Charles wouldn't hear.

Amanda covered my hands with her own and smiled at me. "Elle, you're one of the strongest people I know. I have faith in you. We all do. Hell, Noah expected you to snap the very first day he cut off blood from your regimen. Believe me, I've trained a good number of new vampires, and I'm giving you my opinion unbiased. You will overcome this. But you have to believe it, first."

I sighed and gave a reluctant nod.

"And what about Arthur?" she asked. My hands tensed under hers.

"What about him?" I asked.

"Did the two of you speak after what happened?"

I glanced at Charles again. Amanda looked back at him and said, "Charles, why don't you take a break?"

"I'm on guard duty," he replied without taking his eyes off the scenery below.

"I know." She rolled her eyes. "Just a few minutes. In exchange, I'll forgive you for the slap."

He shot her a scowl. "You asked me to hit you for real."

Shr shrugged. "Harvey is still pissed."

"I didn't even hit you that hard. Damn women..." Charles grumbled. He turned and left.

"Now," Amanda said with a grin. "We have some privacy. Although Charles will only last a few minutes before his paranoia gets the best of him and he'll come back running. What about Arthur?"

And because this was Amanda, with her motherly manners and her honest affection, I found myself telling her about the conversation Arthur and I had after my display of insanity.

She listened and stayed quiet for the longest time after. "Very often, when Arthur is faced with a problem, he goes inside his head." She shook her head. "I've known Arthur for decades, but they're still only a fraction of the time he has lived. I cannot even hope to understand him. But I do know that he's never truly recovered from losing his son."

She looked away, a faraway look in her eyes. "Though I don't know how anyone could recover from such a loss." Amanda's bearing suddenly seemed weighed down with heavy emotions. And I knew that she had lost something, or someone, very precious to her in the past. Shaking her head, she gave me a thoughtful look. "You do realize your situation must be too close to his son's for comfort."

I blinked.

She was right. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it. Arthur had lost his son to insanity and blood lust. And now his mate...

A vise closed around my heart. It must bring back memories, watching me fight this and then coming so close to my death.

"Anyway. I won't tell you what to do with Arthur. Only you can decide. But, if I'm to give you advice: talk it out. If you leave things to fester under the surface, if you simply ignore them, they'll come back to bite you both in the future. And remember, my dear; things often get messier before they get better."

I slowly nodded.

True to Amanda's words, Charles came back not even a minute later and resumed his watch.

Amanda's words echoed in my head long after we parted. I still had no idea how to heal this chasm between Arthur and I. But I knew where to begin. We had to talk. I had been a coward for three days, refusing to bring up the subject in apprehension. Enough was enough.

So I waited for Arthur to come back from Venus'.

The sun was setting when he was finally back. I was leaning on the baluster in front of his palace when his car rolled in through the trees. Charles was at the bottom of the stairs. Arthur stepped out, along with Harvey and Marianno.

His eyes met mine from the distance. The bond between us had been shut from his side ever since the incident. I never thought I would miss it this much. I never realized how much it conveyed until it was no longer there.

The little flare of exhilaration and longing whenever our eyes met. The deep tenderness and affection whenever I smiled or laughed. The peace of mind, as if everything has fallen into its proper place, whenever we touched.

I missed the bond and all it conveyed about how much I meant to him.

But more than that, I missed it for how it made me feel connected to Arthur at all times, as if he would always be there with me. As if I would never be alone again.

The void it left behind was suffocating.

I broke eye contact first, aware of the witch who'd come to stand beside me. Kat looked at Arthur as he spoke with Marianno, Harvey and Charles down there. Her eyes were more green than hazel and her brown skin glowed under the setting sun.

"You're his mate," she finally spoke, her voice low. "You're supposed to make him centered, happy... better. Don't ruin Arthur's life or you'll regret it."

I hid the effect of her words and narrowed my eyes at her. "I might have screwed up, but that doesn't give you the right to lecture me about Arthur. It's none of your business," I said. "Also, do not dare to threaten me again, Kat."

She lifted her chin. "Arthur is-"

"My mate. Keep that in mind. You're free to voice your opinion, or give advice if you want, but don't get in between us."

She opened her mouth, hostility reeking off her in waves. I didn't know how anyone could miss her animosity towards me.

But Arthur and the others were coming up the stairs. She snapped her mouth shut and looked forward. When Arthur reached us, Kat's entire bearing had shifted into the cool, detached woman she usually was. There was not even a hint of hostility in sight.

Marianno and Harvey waved their hands our way and went inside.

"Arthur, Jesse called for an emergency meeting," she said.

He nodded. The orange light of the sun catching his hair. "I'll be with you in a minute. Go ahead."

Kat went inside without a backward glance. Arthur stared after her with a frown, then he swung his gaze to me.

"Is everything alright?" he asked softly.

"Yes," I said. What was between Kat and I would stay between Kat and I. I shifted on my feet. "But I need to talk to you... about something... when you're finished."

"Alright. I will find you."

"Okay."

Arthur turned. I tightened my hand on the pommel of my sword. He stopped and turned back. Holding my shoulder, he pressed his lips to my temple, lingering there for several seconds. Then he was gone.

My magic hummed in my veins. I let out a shuddering breath.

Charles was standing a short distance away, hands clasped behind his straight back and alert eyes on the woods stretching in front of us.

"Charles?"

He didn't remove his eyes from our surroundings. "Yes."

"I apologize for hurting you the other day."

His head swung my way, surprise breaking through his stoic features. I had hurt him, even though it wasn't exactly on purpose, and I hadn't apologized to him.

He shook his head. "There's nothing to apologize for."

I shrugged. "Whatever you say. But," I took out my sword and smiled at him. "The fact that I actually managed to reach and bite you means you're a lot slower than you should be."

He growled. "You're as insolent as ever."

"Why, thank you," I said with a short bow. "Now, would you care for some practice? I'm sure I can teach you a thing or two."

He ran his gaze over our surroundings one more time, then pulled out his sword and faced me. "Let's go, fae. We'll see who's slower."

Surprised that he actually agreed, I grinned. Amanda was right. Things will get better.

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