LEERA POV
"Levi, I can't wait to comeback to New York" I muttered and I could feel myself jumping out of happiness almost.
"You are coming tomorrow. Chill down panda. Just a few more hours" He laughed. "Yes" I bited my lips. "Levi?" "Hearing" I could already feel him smiling.
"I am actually very anxious about the conference. I know I'm happy knowing that I can go to New York and stay there for 2 nights because of the conference. But I'm still afraid. What if I mess up? What if I end up talking shit on the stage? It's a international conference, there would be so many people of high level and the media will be present too. I don't know why I am having this feeling that I'll mess things up" I let out a deep sigh.
"You won't. Trust me. I believe you" A faint smile lingered on my face reminding me of my this bestfriend once again. How this guy always stayed by my side everytime, listen to talk shit and never complained about it, always there for me before I even get engaged with any trouble. How his words made me strong and assured me again that yes I can do this.
"Thankyou Levi" I breathed and a tear escaped my eye. The tear meant how much I missed him, how much I need him in this time. He short laughed "For tolerating your bothersome ass?"
"No for being an Asshole but the best asshole ever" I could hear him laugh on the other side of the phone. "Yes. I know I'm always the best" "Can't agree more. The best Moron" I couldn't help but laugh through my tears.
"Panda needs some sleep" He said again "It's late get to bed. Shushu. Or else you will miss your flight tomorrow and it would appear that you couldn't make it to New York"
"It won't happen, Don't worry. I'll sleep on time and wake up on time" "Goodnight, Leera. Hoping to see you here tomorrow. And don't worry, if you miss the flight I'll come and drag your ass in here" "Alright" A small laugh made out of my mouth. "I'll allow that. Goodnight" with that the phone call ended.
After that call, I didn't feel as lonely as I was before. I was even too happy to even feel anything. I'm going back to New York for two nights! I was informed that I'll be attending the international medical conference with a few more interns from our hospital which will be held in New York. There would be top leveled professionals and prominent doctors from many other countries. They will share their experience and ideas and how can the medical field be expanded even more. But the thing was I'm selected for speaking on behalf of all other interns which is making me so fucking nervous.
It's not like I ever never spoken on stage or never gave an speech. I have always been confident about it and the professors and teachers throughout my entire life always preferred me for things like this. I was even the valedictorian of our graduation ceremony. I don't know what's actually stressing me now but I'm having this feeling that things won't go right.
Though things ain't the same now. I'm mentally so much stressed too and that's what causing me agony. I can't focus properly even if I want to. After the things with Azezal and I know with every encounter it will only get worse. I hate it how much he's making me feel like a shit even if I don't want to. How much he can control my feelings and harm me mentally. With everything possible I'm trying to avoid him for my own sake, for the sake of my mental health.
But I know this is a huge job that is handed on my hands. If I don't do this right, I'll be doomed.
"Everything will be fine. I can do this" I murmured to myself, with a new light of confidence. I'll do this the best way possible.
...........
Closing my eyes, I let out a deep breath. Here I'm back in New York. It felt so relieving and my heartbeats turned pleasant I moment I took my first step here. I'm not alone anymore. I let out a silent cry with a faint smile playing on my face.
"Leera, what you doing there? Come here" one of my resident friend called me who I don't even know if I can call friend cause we ain't even that. I gulped, too hard to swallow this happiness and nodded.
The flight journey way tiresome but I was so excited the whole journey that it even felt more longer. A few doctors and some other residents with me came on one flight this morning, so I wasn't alone in the journey.
"The bus is here" I heard them say. Levi wanted to pick me up but I refused him as I need to stay in hotel now with everyone else. I'm still renting the apartment here cause even if I don't stay here anymore I have my things here and it's not like I'm not coming back. After residency I will come here back anyway, no way I'm living in California after my residency ends.
Taking my seat in the bus by the window, I stared through the window, my eyes scanning the familiar, busy city. California is nothing like New York, it's entirely different. California is a city of peace and calmness while here in New york everything is bustling and busy. But I love here more, even if California feels so tranquil but New York gives me the peace my heart desires.
Being one month is California was the one hardest thing I ever had to face in my entire life. I wish I could say the opposite but it's only for one reason. Him. He is the reason why everything turned just as I never expected in California. As if the residency wasn't enough, he had to be there and make me lose my shit.
It was a month of hangover. Hangover owing to him.
I wish I could curse and spit abusive words at his face for a whole entire day even after that I know my soul won't feel enough serene. It's only me who knows who I held myself back from kicking his ass all these days.
How could I ever even love this guy? I was actually an absolute maniac foolish that I ever fell for this man. Like now my blood boils thinking about him and whatever he did to me and whatever he will do more.
Why am I wasting my time thinking about that jerk? Nevermind.
The red sun is going down towards it's dead end, the sky painted red-pink. I smiled looking through the window, the familiar streets, the familiar place. Nothing feels stranger here.
My phone that I'm holding, buzzed up with a message notification.
Aria : Have you landed?
I smiled and texted back.
Me : Yes.
Aria : Where are you heading to now?
Me : Hotel. The one that department booked, I don't even know yet which one.
Aria : Alright go and take rest. You need to prepare yourself and tke rest for tomorrow conference. We'll meet after the conference. Okay bitch?
Me : That's what I'm thinking too. See you tomorrow bitch! :)
Aria : Can't wait to see you stupidass!! <3
Me : Ofcourse ;)
With the last message I tossed my phone inside my bag and leaned my head against the window. I run my hands on my arms, it's s colder here in New York.
After a few minutes the bus came to a halt indicating we are here in the designed place. With everyone else I got off and made my way inside my draging my luggage until a staff came and got it inside for me.
I thought, us residents, we will be provided shared bedroom which we have to share with other residents but we all got separate rooms which was actually good for me as I am not even good friends with anyone yet.
I'm not absolutely introverted and not even extroverted. I need time to befriend someone and again I just can't trust anyone out of nowhere. And again the other residents in our hospital aren't much friendly as for what I have seen them and known them for a while. But the main thing is I'm scared to even befriend anyone in California because the his words played like a type player on my head everytime.
"You will face consequences and upshots for every single thing you do here. You will think twice before speaking to any person here, to befriend anyone in this city, to go anywhere, to even take any step for anything. Your life will be this hard for you now"
I wish I forgot these already but each of those words triggered me. And it was the actual truth that yes I'm petrified of the outcomes, what if he actually ends up doing what he said. Even if I don't want to believe in his words, but I couldn't even completely ignore them.
The guy what held my hand in the middle of street in California died the same night and I knew somehow that it's him behind that dead case. I can't even be like I don't care cause it's a whole thing related to me and everyone's life is precious as it is. He can't go around killing people like an insane but who could stop him? I didn't want anyone else to lose their life or face anything only because of me. Maybe that's the main reason I have actually been so distant with people a whole month in a new city.
When I end up meetint with the adorable dog Casper did it had to be that's jerk's pet? I can't believe he can be soft enough for petting a dog. He told be he liked pets before back when we were dating, lol dating, that doesn't even count as that. I thought he faked as he always did but actually no. It feels so unrealistic that there is even this side of him.
..........
I stood on the stage, behind the wooden podium with the wireless microphone that awaited just at my mouth for me to start. In front of everyone.
Prominent doctors and physicians, Esteemed consultants, department chairmans and heads of different hospitals and countries, special training officers, residents along with many other reputed people are present here. The medias are also here as they kept recording the event. And here I'm standing with everyone's attention on me right at the moment after a lot of crucial speeches delivered before from the experts.
I have been given this responsibility among all other residents. It's not like I have to give a speech or anything, it's that I have to share my thoughts and things about residency as a resident.
He is here too ofcourse as he is head of our hospital which is one of the best. He didn't come with us, he came separately as far as I know this morning in the private jet that he owned.
My eyes met his as he sat there with crossed arms, firm face on the front row with other guests and important high leveled members. His eyes cold as ever as he stared at me blankly from a distant. I gulped down my anxiety, drifting my eyes off him.
Trailing my eyes over all the audience, I smiled and started. "Greetings to everyone present here at this moment" I breathed and continued, "First and foremost, let us thank god lord almighty for his grace and mercy. Our tenure as residents is one we will remember and treasure in our lifetime. It's- " I closed my eyes feeling myself getting drenched with some liquid substance all of a sudden. What the hell is happening?
What's going on? My mind went hazy with the stink of that substance it definitely wasn't water.
Then I heard all of the people rasping and speaking, the hall turned clamorous with that. After a few seconds, when I felt the liquid substance stop pouring I tried opening my eyes slowly almost feeling myself at the edge of tearing up.
I touched my face and run my hand infront of my eyes to clear my vision. I stared down at my hand. Red. Blood? It definitely wasn't red paint. It's blood!?
My mouth fell open. My vision blurred with tears. It's ruined. I looked infront of me. Most of the people stunned with what just happened, some chattering and other's just looked at me with their mouth open.
In a blink my eyes fell on him. Just as my eyes met his an instant satisfied grin showed up in his emotionless, blank face and now I didn't even need any justification to know who did this.
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Not edited :/
So sorry for being late but I wasn't mentally stable for updating after finishing "it ends with us" by collen hoover. This book is a legit masterpiece I repeat.
Stay tuned <3
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