LEERA POV

Stirring my black coffee, I small sipped onto it while sitting on the floor just beside the huge window in my living area.

6 in the morning and It looked calm and chill, just the way I always like.

I came back to California a few days ago. And I still can't get out of everything that happened within such a short time in Newyork.

The next day when I woke up half naked in his bed at his house, I was glad I didn't see him while I was almost expecting him on bed with me cause it was early. But a confused part of me held so many questions seeking for answers.

After I woke up, I picked my clothes, wearing them I rushed out of his house the first chance I got. There were guards and some maids but they didn't utter a word to me to my dismay. As if they didn't care or they never saw me there but I was glad it was easy enough to escape.

I missed my flight back to California, so I had to stay another night in the hotel and give explanation to our hospital department, why I missed the flight, cause we were all supposed to departure together. My phone loaded with missed calls and messages and the day spent of me giving false excuses to my colleagues and everyone else, like my friend was extremely sick and I couldn't leave.

Then by the next flight I came back to California, settling into my busy life again. 3 days in New York felt so damn long with all those unanticipated incidents in my life that happened out of the blue.

Aria left, she told me how Levi felt for me and it made things between us complicated, then what Louis did in his birthday it was clear he was just about to propose me which I didn't let happen for some reason and again how Azezal trapped me and everything that happened there.

I closed my eyes and breathed through my mouth.

I kissed him back when he kissed me which was so insane of me and can be counted as one of the stupidest thing I have ever done. Probably because I wasn't in proper state of mind or because I actually.....

After 100 times of my refusal I'm still not able to convince my mind whatever happened. How much I missed his touch, how much I missed kissing those lips. In fact I would be lying if I said I didn't like it when we slept half naked on his bed, his warm breaths hitting my neck, his masculine, very familiar satisfying cologne filling my nose. I didn't want it to end. That time I wanted to stay caged with him forever there.

How his eyes scanned my body from head to toe, like he memorized each and every curve of my body in his head. Even though I wasn't entirely naked, I felt entirely naked in his eyes.

He touched me through my lacy thong that was unconditionally drenched wet and when he teased me with that surely my cheeks turned red out if embarrassed. I was soaked wet for him. For his touch that I'm never likely close to admitting.

How we applied the ointment in my bruises with so much gentleness as if he wasn't the reason behind them at first place. That side of him really existed or only he showed up one of his facade self again?

But again how sick was it to kidnap someone and act like a cheep creep like that? How his every words lashed hatred and detestation for me at first, how he forced me to strip while threatening to kill Aria. The thought only made me feel nauseous.

Again in the next moment how the devil in him changed into something so sweet and all lovely which didn't suit him at all but it only clarified one thing which is he's a serious bipolar absurd.

But the fun fact is after all these he disappeared in the thin air. I suppose he didn't came back to California, which was actually a plus point for me. But I still couldn't comprehend anything.

I watched the silent city turning chaotic sitting here for almost 2 hours. Somehow an emotional bond formed with this stranger city with time. Alone but not so alone.

December 24. It's Christmas Eve this evening. The first christmas eve I'll be spending all by my own. Always I had my family by my side or my friends but now there is no one.

I have never been so social in my life but it didn't hinder me in making friends but now it did. A part of me maintained distance with people here for a reason. The reason was him.

Cause I was unknowingly afraid. Afraid for whatever someone has to face because of me. Afraid if being close to someone and losing them in the end like I always did.

It ain't that hard, right? Living all by one's own?

...............

I just came back from hospital and swallowed down a glass of water. It's supposed to be a holiday but I still went there as I had some work that weren't really necessary to be done today but I did it anyway to keep myself busy throughout the day.

Now it's 5 pm and the city is sparking and inflaming with gorgeous decorations and fairy lights. So beautiful and dreamy. I walked down the streets while coming back, smiling at how joyous every children looked with eagerness for their christmas in their eyes.

I wasn't unhappy anymore. Seeing everyone like this made me lightheartened cause at least I could observe everything in peace and that's what real happiness is about. Seeing others happy.

Now that I was in home, all I thought about tonight is grab a book and some coffee and go down it until I felt dizzy.

Before that I decided to call my mom and talk to her. Ask her about everything she prepared, only to miss it all. Then call my dad and ask him what am I getting as Christmas gift this year and weep cause I miss him so freaking much.

I wish I could spent this day with them like I always did but it wasn't even possible now that it's late. They all were supposed to visit me before Christmas, my mom, my dad and my sister Elle and we were supposed to celebrate together. That's what mom promised but it was nowhere to be implemented now.

The doorbell rang making me wonder who could it be as there wasn't anyone supposed to come now. I made my way to the main door and opened it.

My eyes instantly widened with surprise. Happiness jolted in my veins and nerves.

"Mum! Dad!" I almost screamed and couldn't keep myself a second longer than falling into there arms.

"Leera! My love" my mom called out

"Oh my god! I can't believe you guys are here!" I murmured hugging them, my tears at edge and here I was trying my best not to let them out.

I hugged my dad so tight after leaving my mom as if I could fill the amount i missed him just by hugging the best man in my life. "My princess" Dad muttered caressing my hair. "Can we go inside and you two daughter dad carry on this inside?" Mom let out a sarcastic laughter.

Then we all were inside. "Elle, I missed you little brat!" I hugged my little sister while she showed me her tongue and we all laughed. Elle is 15 but she acts like 5, that's sometimes annoying but I love her like that, little and cute.

"Did you guys really come to visit me or am I dreaming again?" I pinched myself to confirm and hissed feeling the pain. "No we are here to see California" Elle said mocking me.

"Ofcourse. Why would we come here for you" Mom joined her. "Dad, look they are making fun of me" I made a sad face and sat beside dad on the coach hugging him knowing no matter what dad will always take my side.

"No one makes fun of my princess" He kissed my head and I felt the most loved daughter to ever exist in this entire earth. This man's mere presence was enough to ensure of my sanity. I smiled, almost wanting to weep just by thinking how much I craved his presence, to hug him, to hear him calling me princess and kiss my forehead like he always do.

"That's my dad" I stick out my tongue to Elle and hugged him even tighter, dad and mom laughed while Elle folded her hands in her chest making a annoyed look.

"Come here you little brat" This time she listened to me to my surprise. "Didn't you miss me?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "Did you?" She queried me instead of answering me. "Unfortunately yes. I did kinda miss you" I could see the little smile on her face. "I missed you too but less than you" she said making everyone laugh.

After a lot of talking and spending 2 hours with my long missed family I felt so relieved like I'm in a whome different world now.

Mom promised me before that we will celebrate Christmas eve together but later i thought they won't be able to make it as dad is always busy. I said I didn't expect them to come and why didn't they inform me earlier, mom said she wanted to surprise me and they already had my address so they didn't even ask me anything or even gave me a hint they were coming.

Mom cooked a variety of dinner and for the first time after a long time it felt and sounded like home. An actual home.

We all sank on the dining table, while Elle and I small fought on silly things and I irritated her more intentionally just because I love to see her annoyed crooked face.

"This is wholesome! I missed your food mum!" I moaned taking another bite. This is what you call paradise. "That's my mom, after all" Elle winked at me. "Shutup and eat before I start eating yours"

"By the way, Leera? This apartment is so beautiful" My mom said looking around again. I took the last sip of my soap and my smile fell off thinking about it. I replied "Yeah"

"Do they provide such apartments just to the residents? Isn't it too big and elegant for a single person?" Ofcourse they don't. I don't even know you I got to stay here. He wants me here and here I have to stay in the damn apartment he owns. In the same building as his which is his own building in the first place.

I hummed stirring my empty soup bowl.

Although honestly this place was to much for a single person. Huge enough my sweat falls on my feet while cleaning it. If there were someone else than me than all my efforts maybe worth it but for a single person living here didn't seem worth it at all. It has 2 bedrooms, a large living area and dining room attached to the kitchen, with 2 long balconys. A small house would have been enough for me but here I have to stay somewhere I didn't want to at all.

But it would be wrong if I don't admit this house is really lovely and charismatic and quite luxurious too.

"I'll help you" saying to mom I took some of the bowls and plates putting those into dishwasher. "Leera? Don't you feel alone here" Mom said looking at me and I wished I could tell her how much alone I'm here. "Not really. I stay busy the whole day you know" I wiped the dishes giving her a smile while lying, but yes it didn't affect me anymore that how solitary I feel here.

"Don't tell me you still didn't get a boyfriend" I stilled. "Mum" "You didn't even tell me about the guy you last dated" Ofcourse how could I, when he himself refused me to tell anyone from my family for some reason.

"That's years ago" "Leera, you still didn't get over that boy?" I knew that wasn't the case. I loved Azezal but now i have nothing in my heart for him, not after I got to know him this much. This man can only bring lies and trouble in my life and shatter me into pieces to pieces more than I can imagine.

"Oviously no mom. I just didn't find... Anyone suitable" That's all I said and I was glad she didn't push me more.

Due to the journey they all were tired so they drifted to sleep. Elle stayed with me in the same room. She was too excited about gifts and what we'll do tomorrow. While arguing and after our fighting session like kids she was too tired and she fell asleep. I smiled turning the pages of my book, finding her snoring now.

It's 10 at night, but I couldn't sleep. I looked outside the window. The sky surprisingly crystal clear tonight and the stars smiled at me as if calling me. So Sparky and elegant lighting the night starry sky.

I wanted to get the whole view of the sky, so I decided to go to the terrace. Maybe so stupid of me to go there alone at this hour but I was too happy to even refuse my mind.

I tiptoed out of my apartment so that my anyone doesn't wake up and took the elevator to the top floor. I stopped, watching his maim door for a second wondering if he is in there. Why do I care so much? I rolled my eyes and climbed the stairs to the terrace.

I held onto the terrace railing as cold wind passed my me shivering me and my lips cured into a blissful smile watching the night city and the moon which did looked lonely like me as stars accompanied it and enhanced the beauty of the sky.

The city wasn't dead cause it's Christmas Eve. So beautiful lighting and decoration sparked the whole city. Well Christmas in New York was the best, now I somehow started to miss New York. Levi and Aria and everyone else and a the fun we had.

I looked up the sky again. A beautiful bright star caught my sight.

"Sirius" I blinked, stunned on my feet, hearing the sudden familiar raw voice from behind which I knew belonged to him.

He stepped beside me. Cornering my eyes I saw he was in his casual dress, tshirt and trousers, not that formal suit. His hands buried in his pockets. His eyes settled at the sky.

"Sirius is the brightest star. It is also called Alpha Canis Majoris, brightest star in the night sky. It is a binary star in the constellation Canis Major." He paused for a second. "The bright component of the binary is a blue-white star 25.4 times as luminous as the Sun which is 8.6 light years away."

I stared at him amused with all the information, his grey eyes stared back at me for a second and I gulped. His face looked extra handsome in the moonlight.

I knew he studied astronomy which was one of my attraction. I always listened to him with so much interest when he talked about the stars and the universe beyond this earth cause I loved to hear him talk and give me knowledge about astronomy.

He stared at the sky in silence again. "Tell me more" I spoke out of the blue, looking at him wanting to know more. He faced me, his face looked so pure and full of patience and calmness that anyone would prefer melting with the heat of his stare and keep looking at him without getting bored for a single second.

"Do you see that, the three medium bright stars in a row" He indicated by his eyes at the sky. "Where?" I asked confused trying to find them. He stepped just behind me and my body shivered not by the coldness but by how warm I'm feeling now at his closeness.

His hand touched mine and he bought it infront of me indicating at the sky while he leaned by my side. "That one" he whispered in my ear whe his hand hold mine indicating my index finger towards the stars he was trying to show me.

"That's the Orion Constellation" His eyes on the sky but he was too close his warm breath touched my neck not letting me focus and his hand touching mine even made it more difficult.

He let my hand go but then he trapped me in between the terrace railing and him from behind as he held onto it by his both hands standing behind me.

"Orion is a winter constellation" He breathed. His scent so alluring and masculine, the very familiar customised cologne that only belonged to him.

He continued. "Orion dominates the southeast sky, as darkness descends this month. Three bright stars decorate Orion's belt, which points northward to the Hyades and Pleiades star clusters of Taurus, and southward to the Star Sirius" He leaned even closer. His chest touching my back.

"When near the horizon, Sirius twinkles and seems to change colour, but it's true colour is pure white" He leaned into me even more, and I couldn't breath anymore.

He whispered against my ear, "Sirius is just like you. Ask me why" I could feel him smile. "Why?" I asked wanting to know what he meant behind it.

"Even after it's true colour is pure white, it tries to fool others into thinking it isn't white" I heard his words but before I could comprehend into thinking he composed from the posture and left from there.

I stared at his back as he disappeared inside while I kept standing in my place.

I knew what he referred to and this time I could tell him but I didn't for some reason.

I stared at the sky again. "You are too beautiful, bright and confident to be like me" I murmured lowly to Sirius with a faint smile but the moment he left from here I was left with a slight heartache behind this smile..........

_________________________________________

Not edited.

Vote, Comment, Share ♡