AZEZAL POV

"You will be getting married this month" Elena said while I'm going through files. I looked up at her.

"And who the fuck decided that without my consent?" I rolled my eyes and started typing on the laptop again.

Elena let out a sigh and sat on the coach in my left. "Dad fixed everything" I laughed "So the fucking Antonio still got the nerves to take decisions without my opinion? And my fucking wedding?" His name only fuels my anger more now. My hand craves for strangling that man. "Azezal, he's our dad. Atleast don't speak like that about him"

"I wonder what he ever did as our dad. Looks like you forgot what he did to mother" I hate it whenever Elena tries to defend him, although what a man he is. "He fucked whores while mother kept on waiting for him till late nights. He made your life miserable by marrying you off to someone for his interest. If he was there with mother that night, the night when she was murdered" I paused for a second swallowing the bitter taste on my tongue " maybe she would have been living this day"

There was a momentary silence before Elena spoke again. "Azezal, you can't blame him for that. The past is past. We can't change that but we can at least hope and do for the future" I jeered "you think Antonio will change? The sun will rise in the west before that happens"

"Azezal what is your problem with getting married within this month? Everything is fixed already and it's been time since your engagement. And as per you said you will leave for Italy within 1-2 months for a long time so it's better to get married now. Moreover Carla is head over heels for getting married too. How long are you going to make her wait?"

"I don't have any problem with getting married. Start the Arrangement" I didnt look up from laptop, bored with the conversation of her convincing me for this.

"Yess finally" she came to me and kissed my head while I made an annoyed look. "Best brother" "Hm hm" I rolled my eyes and started working again. "And yes, Louis is coming tonight. So it will be a dinner night. I invited Leera for the dinner too. Please don't be late for dinner" she said and blew me a kiss before closing the office door behind her and walking away.

I growled rubbed my face with my hands.

Leera. Leera. Leera!

***FLASHBACK***

"Fuck me, Aze" she repeated again stilling tucking onto my sleeve watching me with those puppy eyes while I gave her no reaction at all, still stunned at her unexpected words.

"Fuck me and end this" then I noticed a tear slide down her drunken eyes. She is crying? "That's the thing you want from me right? After fucking me you will free me? Right?" She blinked as if staring at me is so hard. "Then you will stop hurting me so much? Will you get out of my life after getting what you want?" She whimpered as if she is in pain. Her state drunk but her words didn't say she was drunk. On the other hand her eyes and voice told how much drunk she is.

A whore always a whore. "I'm not a whore!" She shouted as if she can hear my thoughts. Are my thoughts too loud? She jerked my hand away and got up on her feet on the bed while stumbling a few times and then pulled me by my collar to her when she finally managed to stand on the bed in her drunken state. I looked up at her as she is standing on the bed, looking down at me in her not so sober state.

"I'm not a whore, Azezal! You hear me" She screamed at my face in the angry and drunk voice of hers. I let out a sigh. "You are drunk, Leera"

"I'm not drunk" she shouted again as if I can't hear properly. "I know. Now lay on the bed" I tried to get her hands off my collar but those were tight enough.

"First say you will fuck me" she gave me her daintly look, asking me for it so perfectly that made me question myself for a second if I can really refuse something I'm fighting not to crave for.

"You are drunk, Leera. Sit now" "I'm not drunk!" She cried out and started beating onto my chest. "You are a jerk" and with that she slipped and tipped off the bed, not able to hold onto her drunken state herself, but I caught her on time. "Hmm. I can see you ain't drunk" the left side of my lip arched up.

"I'm not drunk... Fuck me.. I'm giving my consent" she closed her eyes dizzy. I got her onto bed again and caressed her hair watching her. She tried opening her eyes again and arched her eyebrows in annoyance.

"Do you even realise what are you saying?" I looked at her face, so close.

"Why do you want me to fuck you now? When you didn't even trust me enough that time? While you found other man more trustable and much attractive to let fuck you in my back. Now Do you trust me enough for that?" I jeered with a smirk. "Or did you realize how attractive I'm and want to make up for your mistake by letting me fuck you?"

"I-" she let out a drunken sigh and moved her head right to left showing her disapproval. "I trusted you so much but-" she looked at me this time, looking like she is about to faint. "You betrayed me, cheated on me" she hummed again "you son of a bitch" her drunken voice raised again. "You fucking bastard" A small laugh made out of my mouth seeing her curse me like this.

"Wasn't it you who cheated on me that night and now look who's accusing who" My mood darkened again but somehow I'm managing this conversation even if I have zero urge to talk about it.

"I- I didn't. That night.. I was so angry at you for those.. pictures that I said whatever without thinking.. Levi.. Levi is my friend.. my best friend, never nothing else. I- I never cheated on you, it was you who betrayed me" her words broken and drunk. She looked at me with teary eyes now. "You didn't talk to me for months.. no texts.. no calls and never came to see me. I thought you forgot me, I didnt matter to you anymore. I went to see you so many.. times and called you so many times but I never got to contact you. Then I saw the pictures and I knew why.. it was answer to all my questions" her eyes closed again as she moaned out a sigh again. "And I was so angry that night you came to seek for me during the heavy storm after a fucking month. After shattering me entirely why did you come? I lost all my desires to even see your face" she sounded angry now but I remained quiet trying to understand everything and hear from her more. Her every word is devastating me. Devastating my entire past and life if whatever she is saying is the truth.

I know why I didn't see her for a month that time. I was so busy and moreover that fucking Antonio was after me thinking I'm getting distracted and suspecting my relationship. Although I said I only fucked her, she's a whore for no troubles but he didn't trust me thinking I'm in love which is against the cosa nostra and I'll ruin everything. For that I managed to ignore her for almost a month while I died to see her everyday. I didn't call or text cause he would oviously detect my phone calls and texts. I could do it anyhow, see her anyhow, talk to her anyhow but didn't. Cause I didn't want her life in danger. Cause I knew the bastard who has never been able to be my dad because the person he is and I knew if he even got a hint I'm in love with a girl, he will kill her in no time and that time I didn't even have so much power as now.

"What pictures?" I couldn't understand what pictures she was talking about. What pictures gave her answers to why I was avoiding her?

"You.. you were with another girl... that girl was in red dress.. that girl" she stopped in the middle, as if she couldn't talk anymore. "Damn fuck!" She started to puke all of a sudden. I held onto her arm and got her up from bed. While I tried to get to the washroom with her, it was too late and my shirt was already ruined by her puke.

Her black dress and my black shirt drenched in her puke by the time I got into washroom with her in my arms. She looked sick. "Fuck Leera" I sighed watching her drained face. I made her seat on the sink counter and cleaned her dress and my shirt with tissues. She was leaning against the wall watching me clean my shirt with her beautiful honey orbs which justified how drunk she is. I removed my shirt and shoved it on the basket, she kept staring the whole time.

"Are you fine now?" She shook her head in negative. "Let's get you out of this dress" she didn't say anything, just let me help her out of her dress and then she is here half naked in front of my eyes in her black thong and bra.

She traced her hands down my chest and abdomen eyeing my body but I didn't do anything. I just cursed mentally and got wet wipes from the counter to wipe her face. She kept on exploring my body while I tried to wipe her face clean.

"Why is your body so hot? So muscular and sexy. I'm jealous" she said in her low very less audible tone. "You want a muscular body?" I half laughed. "I want to keep touching you but I can't" she kept on drawing circles on my chest now leaning against my shoulder as if she can't hold herself.

Fuck this girl really thinks how she is half naked infront of me and speaking these words are helping me anywhere? I don't trust myself when will I do something wrong and oviously her in this state asking me to fuck her.

"Then why didn't you let me ever make love to you before?" The fuck word didn't suit what I wanted from her that time. I wanted to make love to her, fill her with pleasure, hear her moaning my name and asking for more. Only I know how much I desired her that time and how much I wanted to make her entirely mine, make her feel every bit of pleasure. I never felt like this for any women cause it was just casual fucking session and one night stands. But she was entirely different to me, the first woman in my life who made me feel so much.

I respected her decisions and thought to give her space whenever she wanted and never that be a boundary in our relation. I controlled myself for months cause I didn't want to hurt her with a feeling I cheated on her. It's not like you can control your sexual desires everytime but I did. I jerked my cock like a fucking teenage boy in the shower thinking about being inside her every night. I wasn't even mad at her for anything nor did I ever complain for the lack of sexual intimacy in our relation cause I loved her so fucking much that just being with her mattered to me.

"I-" she tried but didn't say anything her gaze still fixed at my stomach. Then she faintly smiled and her hand went down. Fuck. I got her hands before she touched me there. She looked my face, her face disturbed and mouth frowned.

"Are you trying to ruin me now?" She laughed her drunken laughter. She still isn't sober at all. I got more tissues and tried to clean her bare stomach but she got her hand out of my hand and then folded them around my neck, leaning in but I leaned backward. She made a pout when I made some distance between us "I want to kiss you". Oh god I'll get out of my mind anytime soon.

Then she tried to remove her fucking bra but I held her hands before she could do anything.

I got her on my arms again "Come lets get you a little sober and and cleaned up or you-" she kissed my neck. What the fuck? She is surely that horny drunk type. Although I didn't get to see much of her this side before.

I got in the shower with her to hold her under water. "Do you want to sit on the floor?" She didn't say anything. I held her arm and turned on the shower making her stand under the shower. But eventually I was in the shower with her too when she pulled me with her and rested her head on my chest. She folded her hands around my me and I was stunned when I heard her whimper out a small cry. I didn't hug her back when she hugged me and started crying softly while the shower run down. Her head only reached my chest, she is that small. I stroked her hair "what happened now?"

"When- when I was in grade 11 I was almost raped" her words utterly stunned me and I felt my every nerve and breath stop. I tried to comprehend what I heard. Did I even hear right?

"Whattt?" It left my mouth still shocked. "That day after school hours I was assigned to clean the laboratory with a few other mates. When I went to the storeroom.... he came after me.. he closed the door.. he" she weeped and I felt my heart aching after years. I couldn't speak. "But Levi had spare keys he was on time" that relieved me for a second but still not enough to burn the fury in me.

"Who was he" she didn't answer still kept hugging and weeping on my chest, the water kept running with time. I held her small face in my hands, "Who the fuck was he Leera?"

"Max- Max Hamilton. He read in the same school as me.. he moved out and disappeared after that incident.. we couldn't.. we" her tears ran down.

"Shush shush" I hugged her caressing her hair and then there she passed in her drunken state while crying on my chest. I turned off the shower and dried us both. I didn't remove her undergarments, I just pulled a tshirt over her head from her wardrobe and dried her hair with a towel. After that I placed her unconscious body on her bed.

I was burning with rage and anger. Calling Remor I told him to find out that bastard within next 24 hours from any corner of the world in whatever condition.

All these made sense now. Why she maintained distance between us cause she was traumatised but what burned rage on my head even more in that she never told me that. She didn't think it was necessary for me to know such a fucking incident.

I knew which pictures she was talking about. Those were pictures of the damn whore I paid to act with me to only make Antonio believe I wasn't in love with anyone cause he would fucking kill the person without a second thought saying it is ruining my future and me. And my bastard dad really sent those pictures to her?

Connecting all these, now I knew where did it turn wrong. Everything went wrong.

I threw the vase on her vanity on the floor. My hands clenched my head ached to kill every bastard that made our lives into these.

I lost her. I lost my mother. I lost my every fucking thing.

***FLASHBACK END***

I know whatever she said is true cause I got proofs that she was sent those pictures of me and that whore. It was that fucking Antonio.

She isn't like that at all. There wasn't any of her fault except that night one. After she spoke whatever as an outburst without thinking, I was wrecked, I was mentally ruined.

I got so drunk that night celebrating my depression that I missed all my mom's calls and all my chances to save the most precious thing in my life. She lost her life, I lost my most reason to live after her cause she was the person who meant more than any other thing in my life. Without her I was lost. Lost for years. And after years the depth of regret and hurt sought for revenge. Revenge from Leera. Revenge for wrecking me. Revenge for being the reason I couldn't save my mother.

My head ached. What the hell I have been doing? How did everything turn over in a single night?

I don't know if I have forgiven her entirely for whatever changed in my life for her fucking stupid outburst but I can't even blame her entirely after knowing the whole damn ass truth.

All I know is that, now I want what was mine back. She was, is and will be always mine. I want her back. In any how, in any way. If it even cost lives then be it.

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Not edited.

Ik I was dragging the story way too much but dw it's in my head lol. Here you go, Azezal knows the past. Lets see what happens next ;)

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