LEERA POV

I'm in my bed, hugging my pillow, practically clenching it suffocating it to dead. I can tell it's morning now by the amount of light entered my room through the gap between my curtains. I didn't sleep the whole night, or better say couldn't sleep the whole night.

Louis helped me get back to my apartment after I told him I want to come back home and he stayed here until I calm down. He didn't wish to leave but I said I'll be alright. Eventually he left after an hour. It was 3 at night when he left. I was left alone. I cried because I was scared. I was trembling but I said I'm fine.

I couldn't close my eyes because everytime I did I only saw myself in water, helpless, yelling for help, water filling my lungs, water pulling me away. I won't live.... I'll die. And everytime I close my eyes my anxiety level rises up, my heartbeats fastens and I start weeping cause I don't want those images in my mind.

This was the third tragic incident in water. The first two were horrible so was this one. My mind couldn't refresh from those images from the first time too, those kept playing inside my head like a tape player.

My eyes closed for a mere second. No one will save me, I'll die... death is so near... water and water.. only water.. I'm drowning

I instantly opened my eyes and got up from bed deeply exhaling and inhaling. My heart throbbed so loud and fast i could myself feel and hear each of them. I rubbed off my face with my hands and inhaled breaths. My body turned sweaty due to the anxiety.

"Its.. Its fine. I'm alright" a lone tear escaped my left eye but I paid no head to it. I went to washroom and with shaky hand I turned on the tap in the wash stand and watched the water flow until I was feeling sane again.

I touched it first and then relaxed. I splashed water on my face until my face muscles relaxed and got dressed after cleaning up only because I'm compelled to go to hospital today. I'll take a short leave cause I don't think I can continue the whole day when i couldn't even get sleep at night, and my mental state is utterly unwell and sick.

...............

Its evening now. I'm back at my home after taking early leave from hospital, again laying on my bed, casually wasting my time or probably trying to put my mental state and reality together.

Why did I kiss Louis last night? I don't like him so why did I? It was the nerves and anger fueled inside me that made me do it, wasn't it? I kissed Louis to make him feel the way I did? Did he feel it whatever I felt? Was it because I was simply jealous of him being with anyone else with whom he will have his future settled? Or was it because I was feeling guilty that Louis saved me from dead and practically gave me another chance to live. Still I couldn't even say a small yes to his confession? Is it even worth what he did for me? Should I have never done it or what I did was actually right?

Louis is a gentleman. Calm and composed. Always thinking about others. Kind and well mannered. As it happens to be he is brother of someone like that girl Carla but that doesn't make him any less in my eyes cause I have seen the worst already, which is fairy like Elena being the sister of Azezal the monster.

I remember last night him saying that he loves me. I didn't say anything rather I kissed him. Doesn't that give him the reply that I like him? It surely does. I don't know if I actually do. Probably I surely will someday or probably not cause he is someone who can easily be loved but I'm someone who can't easily love.

I don't see why I still can't move on. It's been years and it's not like no guys approached me after I was heart wrenched. I just lost interest in guys.

Louis is handsome and tall. Just by his facial features one can tell ladies run after him. But he is nowhere like Azezal. The vibe and nothing comparable for some reason. I agree Louis is hot but not in the level Azezal is. I don't even know why am I comparing them both cause there's me that can't stop with the thing about thinking about him in everything now.

In the conclusion, I decided on saying yes. I'll say yes to him. I'll accept his love and I'll try my best to give the same to him even if it needs time. Louis is patient and understanding. I know he will understand me. I'll forget everything, I'll leave everything behind just the way he did. I'll move on and Louis is the best person for me. At least it would be worth it giving a try.

My bell rang and I went to see who it is at the door. I'm feeling better now thankfully. I opened the door finding Aaron at my door with Giana and casper.

"Hiii. Casper and I are here to play with you" Aaron waved at me with a cheerful smile and I returned the smile "Oh wooh really?" "Hi Giana" Giana is Casper's caretaker and Casper is Azezal's dog. A bipolar absurd man like him can oviously not raise a dog by his own.

"Hii. I just came to drop them both to your house. Aaron was so impatient to come here from the morning but you were at work possibly. Hope it won't be a trouble to deal with them both after a whole day of work" she uttered to me.

"Ofcourse not. I enjoy their accompany" I took the leash of Casper from her and caressed his head "hey buddy, you missed me?" He barked in response and I kissed the top of his head.

"I missed you more" said Aaron and I giggled. "Same bud. Last night felt so long without you"

"Why?" He asked in confusion. "Come inside I'm telling you" Giana bade us goodbye and I lead Aaron and Casper inside. Hopefully I will feel lively for some moments now. I'm glad they are here actually. I do love their accompany.

"When you miss someone at night, it feels long cause you want to meet that person so eagerly" I told him when we settled on the couch and Casper sat on my lap. Casper adored me from the first time we met and now he is way more comfortable with me I guess after we already met a few times.

"Ohh. I didn't know that" Aaron said and i nodded "now you know then" "Do you want to eat anything? Like chocolate shake or pastry? or I can make you sandwiches? What do you want?" I asked him.

"Chocolate shakeee with lot of chocolate" he replied immediately. "Come let's make chocolate shake for you" I ruffled Casper's fluffy body one last time and got him down. Casper followed us to the kitchen, barking after us.

"What happened to you last night?" Aaron asked adorably in a caring manner while I opened the fridge to take out cold milk. I turned and smiled at him. "I just slipped and fell in the swimming pool by myself. Careless me." I stupidly bumped my hand on my forehead dramatically.

"Who saved you?" His voice timid but curious. "Louis" I said with a smile. After I woke up he was with me, waiting for me to wake up. It's the second time he saved my life but the difference is this time it was his sister who caused it.

I gave Aaron a piece of chocolate while putting the chocolates for the shake in the blender. He moaned with delight eating his favourite chocolate.

"You don't know how to swim?" He asked again. "Not really. Can you?" "No but bestfriend told me he will give me swimming lessons once we go back to New York" "Ohh? Isn't your flight tonight? Oh god I completely forgot. Aren't you leaving tonight?" "I don't want to go" he said with a frown. I filled a glass with chocolate syrup and then the shake and handed it to him.

"And I don't want you to go" I kissed his cheek. Casper roamed in my living area getting no attention from us. "But mama with take me with her" "No worries I'll visit New York to meet you" he timidly nodded and I could feel how sad he is just by watching him. He drank the whole chocolate shake in gulps and licked his lips after finishing the glass.

"So yummyy" he giggled as well as I. Then I cleaned the chocolate off the sides of his small lips with a tissue.

Then we talked and stupidly laughed, made fun of casper together, he kept on blabbering useless and totally absurd stuffs that made me laugh. Then he was so tired that he drifted asleep on my bed.

And Casper is tired too running around after us, so he is silent now. My phone rang up and I picked it. It's Elena.

I got up and walked to my balcony so I don't wake Aaron. "Hey Elena" "Leera? How have you been doing? Are you fine?" She asked sounding concerned. "I'm good now" I replied "Isn't Aaron at your place" her voice was still tensed. "Yeah he is sleeping" "Can you wake him up amd bring him with you? You know If I send anyone else he probably won't come. After 2 hours we will be leaving for New York so.." "Alright" I said and hanged up.

I was feeling bad about waking him up but I did finding no way. He woke up rubbing his eyes from a short unfilled sleep. Then I took Casper and him to the elevator and back here.

When Elena opened the door, I saw her face was still concerned. "What happened?" I asked her. "Aaron, you go inside" he listened to his mother and went away.

"Louis had an accident" my eyes widened in shock. "What? What happened to him??" I asked, my heartbeats rushed up while asking. "Last night, after you left. He had some emergency in New York so he took a flight back and then he reached there safe early this morning but it was drive back to home when he met that unfortunate accident. His car was hit by a truck. The truck driver wasn't caught. It was so serious. I didn't tell you because you weren't in a good condition and I didn't want you to worry"

"How is he now? Where is he? Is he fine?" I asked instantly to hear his well about, anxiety rushing in my nerves. "He is in serious condition. The doctors said his condition isn't well yet at first but now he is alright but-" I bit onto my lower lip. "He is in coma now. The doctors assured he will wake up but isn't sure when. You don't worry, he is provided the best hospitalization under supervision of best doctors in New York. He will surely get well soon" I remained silent.

"Carla went back in the morning. I and Aaron will leave tonight after 2 hours with Azezal." Tears peaked at my eyes.

"Are you crying?" Elena held on my shoulder and I shook my head in negative when I clearly was about to cry. Elena's phone rang up before she could say anything else to me, hence she was forced to skip our talk and I made up the stairs in the mean time when she is busy talking over the phone.

My tears are falling now. I'm not crying for Louis only. I'm crying because I caused that to him. It's all my fault. I know. I know.

I knocked at the door where I know is his office. Somehow I knew he is here and when I heard his voice say "Come in" it was assured. I opened the door and closed it behind me. He eyes came up at me due to the sound of door closure. He is sitting on desk chair going through a few files and holding his phone to his ear as if speaking to someone over the phone.

"I'll call back later" he spoke the last line on the call when he saw me and hanged up. His phone is resting on the desk now. His all attention is on me.

"That wasn't an accident" The words uttered my mouth in a very small voice, the words sounded more like I'm sure about it. "Who am I to complain you are wrong?" He exhaled a breath and leaned against his chair after setting the file he was holding on the desk too.

"It was an attempted murder and you planned it" One drop of tear fell off my cheek and I watched him with so much hatred in my eyes. He got up from his chair and made with a few long strides he is just a few inches away from me. My back is still attacked to the door and I have been standing here since after I closed this door.

He shoved his hand in his pocket. "Well I executed it too. But this was the first time I failed something like this. He wasn't suppose to survive after such a hazardous accident. Lucky bastard right?"

My hand instantly raised to slap him across his face without my own knowledge as anger pervaded in me. But before it could touch his face slightly my hand was pinned against the door. Our eyes locked. Mine filled with angry tears and his neutral like ever.

"Why? Do you love him now and that's why you kissed him last night?" There is a hint of smirk in his face as if he is getting satisfaction by seeing me like this. "What a sick person are you?" My voice couldn't be loud enough comparatively to how much fury is growing inside me now. How much I despise this man infront of me.

"You can find it out yourself by testing my patience more." He is fucking enjoying this moment as if killing someone is like killing an ant to him. "I'll expose you. You will end up in jail" I tried to threaten like I can scare him, almost forgetting how he actually is. He leaned into me more "Do as you wish to" his face was against was neck now but not so close enough to touch. He smelled me like a creep, horrifying me "I would love to see you try"

I pushed at his chest and I knew it wasn't hard enough for him to stumble back but he moved backward anyway. "You're terrific, horrible, cruel, barbaric, a fucking monster. How can you..." I couldn't speak, I inhaled because my lungs lacked air and shouted my lungs out "how can you kill someone like its nothing? Lives ain't inferior!"

"So now don't say I didn't warn you about that. If think in logical way, you are the one at fault cause if you hadn't done what I asked you not to then maybe he would have been living a good not inferior life instead of laying in coma on a hospital bed, fighting for life for you."

He went back to his desk and leaned on it so casually as if this conversation is nothing serious to him. "It's me?" I wiped off my tears. "Yeah it's me"

"I'm ashamed of the time I ever met you. God Know's why we ever crossed paths. You are a bane to my life and a never ending affliction. I wish nobody has to lead a single day in life where one has to come across to a terrible man like you" he didn't say anything. He just stared at me speak leaning against his desk.

"I don't fucking know why you are after me when it's you who left me behind. Fucking you who cheated on me, teared me so bad I still haven't able to move on. Now what do you want? Why does it trouble you seeing me with anyone else? Aren't you getting married to the woman you made pregnant and make her life a living hell? What the fuck do you want from me then?" I breathed some air after saying with everything fueling my anger.

"Fine" I uttered the next words with a promise "I'll leave this apartment and drop out of your hospital. I'll make sure you don't get to see my face the next time you visit here and I don't get to see yours. I'll cut every tie and connection with your family and everything related to you."

He didn't move nor spoke. He kept on watching me without any refusal or agreement.

"I despise you with everything in me and this hatred will last until I intake my last breath. I wish we never cross paths till then"

I turned. Opened the door and closed it behind me after I was out of his office. Tears went down and down. I gulped down my sorrows and removed those tears. I rushed out of his apartment to mine and jerked off my door after getting inside. I broke down against the door.

I'm no longer in his life, he is no longer in mine.

I despise him to death. I loathe the man he is. I hate whatever he did to me. I detest his very existence. My abhor is so intense to make me forget I ever loved this sadist.

All that's left in my heart for him is despise, loathe and hatred which I believe to be everlasting just like once he promised his love for me will be everlasting. The only different is his words were lie, mine aren't.

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Not edited.

An early Eid Mubarak to you guys <3 Lots of love.

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