LAST chap. Thanks a lot to every single one for reaching here <3

LEERA POV

I only knew that I had been shot cause I could feel some sort of vibration at the exact point on my chest where the bullet pierced me. I could literally feel my flesh absorb the shock waves.

It wasn't that bad at first. Being shot isn't that painful, I thought. But a minute was long enough to make me comprehend what true pain feels like. It's a kind of pain I've never known, pain I never would have even imagined.

It's like dynamite had gone straight in my chest, like I had been lit on fire from the inside out, and suddenly everything slowed down as the flames of the fire surrounded me and started suffocating me.

So this, I think, is what it feels like to die.

I was blinking and it seemed to take forever. All I could see was unfocused, blurry images.

Then suddenly, I felt as if there were knives in my throat, holes punched into my lungs, and the more I blinked, the less clearly I was able to see. Soon I was only able to take in the tightest breaths, tiny little gasps that reminded me of my past life.

It was like trying to take in oxygen by breathing through the thinnest pipe. And the pain, the pain, the pain. The pain was terrible. The pain was the worst. The pain never seemed to stop.

I watched my life oozing out of me and it made me think about how easy death could be. How short a life I lived and how little I lived it. How I couldn't love, when I was given the chance. How I couldn't live my dreams, when there was time.

I thought, I would die. I will have to leave everything behind, leave him behind. The thought of dying isn't even terrible, but leaving everything behind like this is. The mere thought of leaving him behind is pure agony.

"When are you going to drink it? I want this bowl of soup empty." Aria's words shatter my hallucination and bring me back in the present. She seats by my side nudging my arm slowly. I have been staring at the bowl of soup for a long time, living in the world of hallucination, the terrifying past of 3 days back where my death was almost certain.

"Where is he? Why isn't he coming to meet me?" I lowly ask and I can already feel tears pouring down my cheeks. "Doesn't he know I woke up last night? It's already been 24 hours. Is he alright?" This anxiety is horrifying me.

Before Aria could respond there's a door knock on the door. Elena comes inside with a bouquet of white roses and Aria walks out of the room to give us some privacy. "How are you feeling now, Leera?" She sets the bouquet of white roses on the desk.

"Better." I look at her through my blur vision of tears, "Why isn't anyone telling me where Azezal is? I want to see him." "I have a good news for you, Leera." She completely ignores my question and sits by my side, "Levi has got his consciousness. He's out of coma." For sometime I remain silent, I can't believe what I've just heard. I smile through my tears and cover my eyes. Thank god. I can't say how happy I'm and a sort of tranquility fills my chest as if a heavy burden is lifted off my head. But then in the next moment ton of questions arise. How does she know about Levi? I hesitantly ask, "You knew-? You knew everything?" She gives me a slight nod and I'm kind of stunned cause this was unexpected.

She takes the bowl from my hand and set it on the side table. Taking my hand in hers, she let's out a sigh but I can't face her. My heartbeats are getting faster and my instinct is telling me something undesirable is going to happen.

"Leera, I know you want answers and I want you to know everything. But you need to promise me one thing." She rubs my hands looking at me with hopeful eyes. "W-What?" "You'll accept the truth. And support Azezal with his decision." I'm more afraid now but still I silently give a hesitant nod.

"By now you already know how we have been raised by our father. Azezal had to face a harsh childhood because of him. And my mother, she was a form of pure angel." I notice a hint of smile on her face when she spoke of her mother. "But our father killed her by plotting an attack on his own wife for the world to think she was murdered by his rivals." I don't know how to feel about this anymore.

"You must be thinking how ridiculous is that, but that's how he was." She brushes a thumb on my hand as I keep staring down quietly. I know how ridiculous that man was, but couldn't imagine he could kill his wife too.

"Azezal loved our mother deeply. And when he knew she was dead it was late. He blamed himself for that because he couldn't save her as he didn't notice her missed calls and he also blamed you for making him miserable that time. I was married off by then so I wasn't here and I wasn't able to give him support staying beside him. He was severely shattered and after that inside he was more inhuman then before. He never smiled, never said an extra word. He went to Italy after her death and stayed there for years, far away from here, and punished himself." I'm utterly silent, listening to her every word.

She takes a deep breath and utters again, "Azezal is the best brother for me, was the best son for our mother. Maybe he wasn't able to be the best husband for you, but he is the the most admirable from his heart." I know. I know. I know. My lungs clench my breaths.

"You must be wondering about the thing of Louis, I'll make it clear for you. Louis's father and our father were close friends from the childhood but his mother used to be raped and harassed by our father, it was very bad that it lead her to suicide. Nobody knew about that except Louis. Louis's plan was to take revenge from our father and he was successful in killing him too, but it turned out that he was in deep obsession with you and that's why he tried to kill Azezal. But now he is dead, Azezal killed him." My eyes lower down hearing that. My heart throbs.

Maybe it was my fault that I got so close to him. Maybe I should have just ignored him. Maybe I was unable to make him decipher that there was no chance. Maybe I shouldn't have been dumb enough to even believe him and go against Aze being emotionally wrecked. That's all my fault. My fault.

"I know my bother." She murmurs, smiling wistfully, "How he was and what he turned into. I know every reason and backstory what made him the man he is now. He told me everything about you guys before he left and I know he's at fault. Finding no other way I'm compelled to support his decisions."

My breath halts and I feel my heartbeats fastening as I try to comprehend what she's saying, "Before he left?- W-What do you mean by that?"

She smiles another soft smile but it doesn't go out of my notice how her eyes get moistened. "Leera, you're a strong and brave girl who deserves so much love and everything in this world. I'm forever grateful to you for saving my brother's life by handing your own life towards death. The gunshot you took was so risky that your death was almost certain but by some miracle you survived. But this incident was a havoc for him."

"I can die a thousand deaths for him. I love him more than my life- more than any possible thing." I'm wailing, crying my lungs out like a child. "Please, I want to meet him, tell me where he is! Tell me he is fine."

She leaves my hand and stands up, then approaches me again with a white envelope which she got with the flower bouquet. "This is for you, he asked me to give it to you when you would seek for him." Handing me that she left me alone in a room which seemed to supply me less oxygen now.

Suddenly I'm petrified to open it but still I do, keeping my numb emotions aside. It's a hand written letter of several pages in his handwriting. Before I even begin to read I know I don't want to read this.

I wipe off my tears, inhale and exhale, then I start reading from the beginning.

Amore, firstly don't be cringed reading this because this is the first time I'm writing a letter. I'm writing it rather than recording cause I know how much you love words and letters.

Trust me wifey, I have never hated anything more than seeing you in this hospital bed fighting death, that too because of me. And when I saw you after getting informed that you were out of danger, I have been repeatedly thanking the god which I never believed in because at least he wasn't uncharitable enough to take you and leave me alone in this world. If anything like that happened, I won't have survived.

I want to scold you so bad for taking that gunshot. If I had been shot maybe I wouldn't have felt this way. The grieve love, it's far worse than any gunshot. The death I faced every moment seeing you in this hospital bed, it was dreadful. Knowing that I'm the sole reason behind dragging you towards death, I want to kill myself.

I'm weeping again and my tears fall down on the page obscuring the words written by ink. Biting my lower lip, I continue reading-

You were right Amore, I cannot keep you trapped between four walls just because I have bunch of foes everywhere. You are a bird, a bird meant to fly. A free bird who has only learned to fly high since the initiation of life, I can't take it's freedom by caging it.

It has already been decided that I'm a despicable human being who thrives on murder and power and torturing others. I'm dirty with crimes and transgressions. I'm full of sins and lies, nevertheless you choose to love me, but still I couldn't cherish that love and couldn't treasure you like a gem. That's my failure, my culpability that I can never exonerate myself from. And I can never forgive myself for not being able to protect you.

You were right. "The repentance, penitence bought me Affliction, Took my life, But left me no sympathy."

These certain written words hit straight at my chest, boring deep holes. And the regret of every word I said to him and every other word that I left unsaid is aching my heart more. I'm more and more afraid to read further but I do.

I'm not asking for your forgiveness. Don't ever forgive me because I don't deserve your forgiveness. Even if you forgive me, I can never forgive myself for whatever I did to you, for every misery I bought in your life, for every single tear that you weeped for me. Don't cry over me. Never cry over me. I'm not worth your tears.

I love you, wifey. I love you more than you can imagine. But I have failed Amore, I failed you. I don't deserve you cause you're every possible good thing in this world, you're a beautiful heaven while I'm the dreadful hell. I can give my life away protecting you but I don't want to take that one percent chance of getting you in anything like this again. My only desire is your well-being and safety that can never he ensured if you stay with me.

Happy one month anniversary, Amore. It's already one month of our marriage. Every moment I got to spend with you is blessing to me, every memory is everything to me. Don't seek for me cause the hardest shit I have ever done is letting you go.

I forced you into this cage, I'm freeing you from this confinement. And when birds are freed, they fly, they fly very high.

- Your Aze

I survived a gunshot but it feels like death would have been more pleasant than reading these black inked words. I hug the pages to my chest and deeply inhale as I close my eyes. I'm not crying anymore, I'm just numb and the ache I'm feeling in my heart, it's agonizing, it's so bad.

I'm feeling a thousand knives stabbing at my heart. The burden on my chest is so heavy that I can no longer carry it anymore. I have so many things to say. I want to look into his eyes and tell him so many things I left unsaid. But I lost that chance. He is not here anymore.

"For me love will always be you, Aze. Happy one month anniversary." But how is the anniversary which we couldn't celebrate together be happy? "I'll miss you forever."

So this is Affliction. Love is Affliction.

He did open the door of the cage for the bird to fly but didn't he know that it was too late and the bird didn't want to fly away?

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Not edited.

Did I promise a happy ending? I wish I did cause writing a sad ending is so painful that I'm crying tears.

Finally this is it :)) Unusual end but I had it planned since the beginning. Don't be too sad bbs. Epilogue is still left ;)

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