"I'm really sorry, Mi'lady. I should've stayed with you."

Avy and the others went back to the mansion that same morning due to her insisting that she doesn't want to stay inside the Headquarters. Which her Grandfather didn't refuse thinking she was shocked by the events that unfolded before her the day prior. She was quickly sent back to the mansion accompanied by shadow followers or whatever they call them and not normal knights for it will only gather attention from the town folks. Much to the lady's annoyance.

She wasn't really scared or overwhelmed, it's just that, Gehenna has far too many knights lurking around the corners that she couldn't even breathe properly. She was being watched the moment she stepped out of the door. Fortunately, those hidden guards will only follow them to the mansion and leave them alone once they enter the gates. As they should, because she would definitely flip if they watch her inside her own house.

Avy couldn't choose which one is way more annoying. Is it the fact that she's being guarded? Or being constantly apologized to stabbing her conscience nonstop?

"It's your eighth time saying that since we left the headquarters." she stared at her knight who couldn't look at her straight, he kept saying sorry and saying he should take the punishment for what he did. She was offended. She's petty, alright?

"I'm at fault." she blurted out, unfazed, which made the knight look at her for a moment before shaking his head furiously.

"Don't blame yourself, My Lady! It is my duty to protect you at all cost-"

"But it is my fault though."

"Don't say such things. I am the one to blame-"

"No me."

"My Lady-"

"I said it's my fault."

"But-"

"Then stop apologizing or I will really jump off the balcony."

It was just then Clerivan closed his mouth shut. Avy just silently sat still as her maid changed the bandages around her neck.

"I didn't see the Duke this morning. He also didn't come back with us." she said, wondering where the Duke went after the commotion that she caused.

"His grace went back to the Imperial palace to report to His Majesty, Miss. He left last night." Mariel answered.

"He didn't even come to check on his daughter if she even woke up in good condition." she exhaled. 'I pity you, Avy' She wasn't really expecting anything from the Duke. After all, he did nothing in the novel when Avy was fighting a losing battle against the main characters. Of course, it was understandable considering she was fighting for the bad side in the first place, but shouldn't he at least lend her a hand? Avy died because of her greed, she died on her own, but it was still sad that her family wasn't there and didn't even bother to show their faces during her last minutes.

The two servants watched her with distress in their eyes. They couldn't tell her that the Duke visited her that night before he left. At least, they're not in the position to tell. His grace even went to the lengths of concealing his presence so that no one would know except for the people watching Avy's room, that he stayed with her for a long time. He didn't want to give away the fact that Avy can be a weakness of his. It is a risk that he wouldn't and couldn't take.

"Are you done?" she asked Mariel noticing that she stopped moving for a moment.

"A-ah yes. It's finished Mi'lady." Mariel stammered, standing up from her position. Avy's statement really killed the mood without her even knowing.

"Are you sure you don't want to rest, Miss?" the maid worriedly said, Avy was already wearing the attire she used to wear for training and it seems like she doesn't have any intention of staying inside the house for another day.

"It's necessary to train. If it's not, I would've stayed inside the house." she answered and proceeded to walk out of the room. She and her servants went straight to the dining hall where she was greeted by the two boys of the house already seated on their own seats but still has yet touched the food they were served.

The moment she saw their faces, she already knew the reason why they made the effort to wait for her. She sighed in annoyance and spoke. "Don't talk to me. I'm not going back to bed even if you force me to." she told them before sitting on the chair where she usually sits.

"Please rest just for today sister. You can resume training once you get a single day off." Ciel tried to persuade her, Clerivan and Mariel didn't stop him. They also want Avy to take it easy, they just can't go against her decisions.

"I don't want to rest. Just let me be." she didn't look at her brother and just focused her attention on the food. Her tone was flat and unchanging.

"Sister don't push yourself too hard. You might collapse at this rate." Light interrupted. He's becoming more involved with them as time goes by, he knew he shouldn't be, but he pushed that thought aside.

"I can't stay where I am right now."

"Sister-"

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" all of them, including the other maids and butlers who were present flinched by the volume of her voice. She finally snapped. They all looked at her in surprise. They know she gets angry most of the time and yells almost every minute but they knew that time was different.

"I don't want to so stop bugging me! Have you ever tried to understand?! No one tried to bother, why do you even pretend? Stop sounding so concerned I don't need it!" the sudden outburst left everyone speechless. Where did that come from? They were just talking about her taking a rest, it seemed like something heavier has been weighing in her mind.

"STOP LOOKING AT ME WITH THOSE EYES! IF YOU'RE SCARED JUST LOOK AWAY!" she shouted once again, her sight got blurry. She knew for a fact that they were not looking at her with hostility, nor were they looking at her with malice. The real Avy's mindset just created those images.

But it was already too late when she realized what she did.

"You're mixing the girl's emotions with your own. And you're letting yourself be controlled by your darkness. Avy."

Ares' voice was a wake-up call. She lost her head again. She didn't intend to say any of those. It was frustrating.

"...sister?" her attention was called by Ciel, whose face couldn't be painted. He looked somewhat surprised, worried, and sad. She couldn't comprehend what was he feeling.

"M-my lady." Mariel looked really concerned. The hall was engulfed by a deafening silence yet Avy could still hear whispers as if her mind was messing with her. No. Avy's mind was messing with her own. They're two different people. They should not feel the same.

She couldn't handle anymore of the voices and finally stood up. Her hands were shaking and everyone in the hall dared not to move. They were holding their breaths. Avy walked out.

"My Lady!" Mariel tried to go after her, but Clerivan stopped her before she could even take a step.

"We will only make it worse." he said and shifted his eyes at Ciel. "You too, Young Master. Please let the Lady have some alone time." he told the young man.

Avy indeed needed it. The voices didn't stop even after she stepped out of the dining hall. It only became quiet when she came back to her room and locked the door. Did Avy always feel that way? Hearing whispers mocking her all the time? And why is she experiencing that too?

There were too many questions that she wanted to ask. Her outburst was untimely. She wasn't even that annoyed a couple of minutes ago.

"That girl's emotion lives. It never disappeared." Ares appeared in front of her as if he already knew her troubles.

"Honestly. If it was not for those things, and if it wasn't for me, she would've been just like you. Or even nicer."

Avy was seated on the carpet, her back against the door. She lost the feeling of her legs. Ares sat in front of her and his eyes reflected the words 'this is bound to happen'.

"She is not to blame. She will never be. It is my existence who created that beast. And this world turned it into a monster." he told her. "By ending her suffering you took it upon yourself. If you did not show up, who knows what kind of demon she would have become? What would the dark turn her to be? And how will it eat her soul away."

"She's a broken piece. In order to prevent herself from shattering more, she let her darkness take over. She used it as a shield. I hope you understand her better." Ares spoke less malevolently. It wasn't like how he used to talk. Maybe it was because he spent years watching her, a pitiful soul. And part of it was because he existed within her. Is it just right to say that he felt sorry?

"I may have created a villain. But she was first a victim."

~~~

That day, Avy didn't speak to anyone. Mariel brought her food but she didn't talk to her. To her surprise, the maid let her be. She gave her space and didn't push herself on her nor did she force her to open up.

When the night time came, she waited for everyone to sleep and sneaked out once again with the help of Ares. She didn't know why she was so fearless when it's stupid to walk outside at night, but she wanted to see the kid and check if he's doing fine. Or was she just looking for someone to talk to because she couldn't talk to anyone inside the house? She didn't care.

"The kid might already be sleeping. Couldn't you wait until daytime?" Ares was walking alongside her, saying it was dangerous for her to be walking alone.

"Revie is guarding me from morning to night. How am I supposed to sneak out?" she said.

When they reached the cave, they found Kill already laid on where he sleeps. He was unexpectedly clean and everything inside the cave was organized.

"He's asleep." Avy said although she wasn't really expecting him to be awake. She couldn't see his face because his back was facing her. She sat on the big rock near him and saw the books she gave him stacked on the corner, he must've already finished some of them. Unknowingly, it brought a smile to her face.

"Mama?" she heard Kill's voice.

"I just dropped by to see if you're alright." she stared at him, he was paler than before and he looked like he hasn't slept properly. "You look worse than last time." she said.

"I-I was just fascinated by the book that I didn't rest. I'm sorry." Kill sat up properly so that he could talk to her easier.

"Don't be. You must be missing your homeland, yet you're coping with it just fine." she told him and pat his head affectionately.

"It wasn't really my choice to come here." Kill stated. "I am dead."

"What?" Avy furrowed her brows, confused about what the child said.

"I was born in a difficult family. And everyone in my homeland thinks I'm dead." he said. "I should be." he looked down.

'I also didn't want to be in this world either. And I should be dead.' She thought, but at least she was living in comfort. She has a family, the kid, on the other hand, is all alone.

"I also came from a difficult family. Should we become a family instead?" she smiled at him. She really shouldn't be soft to a child. She just couldn't help it.

"We can do that?" Kill's face brighten up. His tired face looked happy.

"Of course. The two of us."

~~~

The next couple of days were quiet, just like when Avy didn't go out of her room and stayed inside her own world every day. Because she did. Mariel just brought food to her diligently, she speaks even though she was answered by silence. The days went by just like that.

"What's that for?" was the first statement Avy said after a while. Seeing Mariel bringing gas-powered light inside her room made her curious. She just didn't talk to her because she felt awkward.

"Today's a cessation, Mi'lady. The magic stones will die down this afternoon until tomorrow or after two days." Mariel answered.

Avy just remembered, she read something like that in the book. It happens once a month in this world. Everything that involves magic temporarily disappears. The goddess made it so that everything can pause for a while and rest.

She didn't really care. The only thing that concerned her was if Kill would be able to make it through. She did give him a gas-powered one just in case, but she couldn't shake off the thought.

"It will be a storm." she heard Mariel comment, causing her to look outside her balcony. The sky was covered in dark clouds. The wind became a little chilly and it caused the atmosphere to be gloomier than it already was.

She didn't think much of it and just buried her face in a book she found. It started raining later that day and Avy stumbled upon a book about beastmen that caught her attention.

"How interesting." she said to herself as she read the book. Everyone inside the mansion was already asleep, yet she was still reading with the help of the gas-powered light that Mariel brought to her room.

She was clearly amused at how the author of the book created a powerful race hated by humans. They were really strong and unstoppable and could probably take over a country with a small number, yet they chose to lay low on their own lands.

But the amused smile on Avy's face disappeared when she reached a certain page.

Divine power is a poison to Beastmen. It doesn't matter if they were directly exposed to it or they were just present when a power holder used his ability. It would surely cause a beastman to be weakened. The life force of a power holder can also be deemed as a danger to this race, hence the reason why they fear them.

"What bullshit." she scoffed. So does that mean even if it was an innocent beast person, he would still be affected and take damage around a person gifted by a Goddess. Is that even a gift? That sounded like harassment and racism.

"What the..."

A frown made its way to her face.

On the other hand, beast children won't be able to feel any of this. They won't experience the symptoms right away for they will be destroyed from the inside. A beast child that has been exposed to divine magic would sleep longer than usual or not sleep at all. They would experience restlessness and even pain all over their body after a week. They won't be able to transform and their power would be weaker day by day. And after two weeks of suffering...

"Kill..."

... the beast child will die.

As she was about to stand up from being seated, she felt a pang of pain in her chest. As if it was being ripped apart.

~~~

Because you guys always comment nice things that keep me going, LET ME EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

So here I serve you... a cliffhanger

My schedule will be very messy this week so I worked hard to post an update so please hang in there.

If my school won't give us enough time to rest I will also be hanging here.

On a rope lmao.

Nevertheless, let's make it through this hell together! Humanity is cursed somehow, let's still live anyways. I'm not yet rich, I can't die and let the people who will attend my funeral drink instant coffee. They shall drink Starbucks!!!

I still have many things to do. See you next week ^3^