Alone. Nothing I wasn't custom too. With the emptiness and coldness that always surrounded me as a child. My father himself was a raging alcoholic or whatever they called men that drank a lot and beat their kids. My mother died giving birth to me, which caused my father to love and hate me at the same time as I looked just like her. My brothers were alright I guess, until they became older.

Stone was always the brother I avoided. I never went near him, not that he comes round often anyway. He was always cold and kept to himself or spoke to my brothers. He didn't really spare me a glance whenever he was around. It was like I didn't exist to him, so therefore he didn't exist to me. He left when he was 17 and I was 7. Hes now 26 and own his own business, the only reason I know if because I heard Ravy talking about it to Lucian.

Ravy was just the same, he acted like I didn't exist, he was always with some girl, or messing around with Rome, which makes sense as they are twins, but still they were both assholes to me, I remember one time I was trying to talk to Rome and I kept mimicking him which really pissed him off and he ended up slapping me really hard. I was 8. It was so fucked up that I didn't mutter a word to him for two whole years, until him and Ravy decided to follow Stone away to wherever he went the first time.

Millian and me use to be really close, he was 16 when he left, whereas I was 12. I had finally gotten over Ravy and Rome leaving me alone when Millain left. He would protect me at school when we were in primary. I was 11 and he was 15 and some guys were taking the piss out of my ginger hair, so he kicked the shit out of them and got suspended, but when the principle took him away, he gave me a wink and a small smile to tell me its all okay. He was my favourite.

Lucian normally avoided me like the plague, I tried speaking to him when I was little but in the end I gave up, he had always hated the way I looked like our mother, with my long curling ginger hair, and sprayed out freckles onto my face, my tiny nose and huge round eyes, just like her. He left a lot earlier at 15, he went when Millian did, they both waved a small wave which is the most attention I had ever gotten from them.

I just nodded and went back to my room, not even smiling.

I knew they were going to leave me some time or another. After all they all forgot about me for years. I'm 16 now and Stone is 26, he hasn't spoken to me for 9 years. The others didn't call me, text me, check on me to see if I was okay. Never.

My father was a different story all together. He hated me as soon as I was born. I was taken care of by my mother best friend, Celina. My brothers gave me no attention growing up, I mean as a kid I tried, Hard. They just were never bothered. 5 older brothers. People would say when they found out that no one must ever mess with you with the brothers you have.

Bullshit. They did the hurting.

My father use to smack me around as a kid, a smack on the lower thigh, a whip of a towel, a backhand across the face. He would always stop there but for the last few years he's become more angry. I stay out now, I rarely ever go home. I may hang around with the wrong crowd but it is what it is.

Smoking a joint never hurt anyone.

I went home last night high as a kite, hoping that my father wasn't around, but he was. He was there, sat with a dim light showing his face in the darkness. I sobered up pretty quickly.

"Where the fuck were you? I get you not being around and I couldn't care less if you are but I don't want the cops coming to my door with a shit-faced daughter high on weed and coke.", He said, slurring his words. He had obviously been drinking.

I was too scared to even breathe as I walked backwards towards the stairs. He notices but just raises his eyebrows and smirks. He then slowly gets up and I break for the stairs.

"Where the fuck do you think your going", He said half shouting, half screaming. I ran to the stairs only to be pulled back by the tips of my hair and only the floor. He kicked me in the face so blood splattered everywhere like a rainbow. I sat their on the floor as he kicked my stomach, screaming each time he did.

Everything started to go blurry when he stopped. He walked to the kitchen, wavering in and out as I layed on the floor, the lights still pitch black, only the light on the cooker visible. He fumbled around in the draws for a while until he pulled out a huge kitchen knife. I felt my heartbeat pick up faster and faster as he got closer.

He then pulled me down and pushed my arm against the floor, pushing the knife inwards. I screamed bloody murder, crying through the pain of a million tiny needles being stabbed into my arm over and over again. He carved something before throwing the knife down next to my face and kicking me one last time, knocking me out completely.

I woke up today on the sofa, the blood was now cleaned up but dad was no where to be seen. My arm killed and felt like shit. Dad walked in and came and sat on the sofa opposite. I got up pretty quickly which caused me to gain a gigantic headache almost instantly. I wasn't paying attention to that though, I was looking my dad straight in the eyes.

Challenging him to apologise.

"Look. Matilda. This isn't working anymore. You need to move out. Stay far away from your brothers though, they aren't good for you, I know I'm not good for you, but trust me, they are a lot worst. Stay far away from them if you want to survive", He said quietly, still not looking up to me in the eye.

"A while? Are you kidding me?!", I screamed at him. He looked confused for a second, before he just looked back down.

"It never worked! I was ignored, neglected, you treated me like rubbish for years! I know my brothers suck! I've met them, I've lived with them. Now I'm gonna do as you say. I'm packing my shit, and never, ever coming back for the rest of my life, don't look for me, and don't tell the others. God forbid they would have to be involved in my life.", I said. I was now stood up with the blood still dripping from my arm.

I started to go upstairs before walking back slightly with my hands on my hips glaring at him.

"You know its not my fault I look like her, it's called genetics, fucking learn it asshole", I said before going upstairs. I got my phone out and called Celina, the only person I could count on, she was basically my mother and the only one who ever gave me any attention.

"Hey Honey what's up?", She said in a calming voice. At that I broke down, I couldn't stop sobbing.

"I need to get out of here Celina, he hurt me last night, he went too far this time and I'm leaving, I was just wondering if I could borrow a bit of cash-"I started to ask but she cut me off.

"Of course, of course, I'll send it right to you, do you want me to pick you up?", She asked, making me laugh and cry at the same time.

"No No, its alright, and thank you so much, I promise I will pay you back someday", I said whispering, dad hated Celina as he always thought she was taking mums role, but I mean, someone had too.

I started to pack my stuff in my suitcase that was on top of my wardrobe. I had gone on holiday before with Celina, I would never ever willingly go with my brothers or father, that would of been a death wish, all they would do is argue or scream at each other.

I didn't have much, just a few sets of jeans, some jumpers and jackets, underwear and the normal stuff, shampoo, conditioner my toothbrush, there was only one tube of toothpaste left but screw it. I stopped rushing around for a second to look into the mirror. I needed a shower before I left.

I peeled the clothes off my skin, it stung just to do so as blood was still imprinted onto my jeans. I look at my stomach, full of purple and yellow bruises. It was stiff and hurt just to touch. I got into the shower with my hair tied up as I didn't have time to wash it.

I gently massaged soap everywhere I could to get the blood off me. It hurt to even touch my own body. I felt so, so, I don't know to be honest. I didn't feel anything anymore.

I just wanted to get drunk and party. I wanted to party all night long, and get high. High as fuck right now to be honest. I wanted to get away from everything. And I would.

I got out the shower and threw on some clean clothes. I grabbed my bags and my suitcase and walked downstairs with it. Dad was stood waiting on the couch for me to come to the bottom of the stairs.

"You need help?", He asked. I scoffed at him with disbelief.

"No. Never will again. I won't bother you ever again. Since I'm 16 your technically my legal adult, so text me if anything goes wrong in the next two years, if not, have a great life dad. Find a woman again. Get some love in your life or at least clean yourself up.", I said to him. I walked up to the fruit bowl.

"Oh, also cars mine", I said, he went to protest but I just grabbed the keys and nodded in his direction.

"Have a great life asshole", I said with sarcasm filling my voice and slammed the door shut.

I put my bags in the car and set off, where I don't know, but I'll find somewhere. I always do.