"Didn't think you had it in you, boss." Varo joked as he entered the dining room with two hot bowls of rice.

"This is the second time you've said that, Alvaro." Tobias grumbled, silently grateful for the table concealing his excitement. Varo would tease him to no end if he found out. And well, he didn't want Clara to know either. The woman almost fainted the first time she saw him shirtless and threw a notepad at him like it would do any good.

"The third time actually." Clara added as she picked up the broken shards of ceramic from the floor. "At least it's not one of the finer ones."

Did we do that?

"I mean, it was like something out of a fucking porno, jefe. I've never been so proud." Alvaro said, wiping an invisible tear after he dropped both dishes on the table. "Come eat, tigress."

"You've also said that and you said it when she was still here." Tobias added, the embarrassment quickly getting to him. Why won't this idiot just let it go?

"Be quiet, Mr Montez. You're embarrassing him." Clara pleaded almost mockingly as she returned to the dining, her eyes almost as playful as Varo's.

"Are you teasing me, Clara?" He gawked in shock at his assistant. What happened to her? Varo was obviously a bad influence.

"I'm not teasing you, sir. I am just as surprised as Varo is. You were never the..." She trailed off frowning at Alvaro who practically inhaled the food.

"The what?" He asked, drawing her attention away from the gluttonous man.

"The... kind of person that really expresses his emotions I guess." She said nervously, trying to hide behind her food.

"Isn't that a little too rich for you, Terminator?" Varo butted in but with a mouthful of food, it all came out as a jumbled mess.

"What?" Clara asked, disgusted by his lack of table manners but interrupted him as he was about to open his mouth again. "Just eat."

Varo rolled his eyes but did as she said.

"What I am saying is that you are putting way too much thought into this. So what you kissed and made out and ruined the dining table?" She said softly to her boss who just kept quiet and rubbed his face.

The last thing he needed was someone who had almost zero experience with relationships advising him.

She has been upstairs for a long time. Is she already regretting it?

He knew he acted rashly.

He was not used to doing things without critically evaluating other alternatives. He felt he had let his heart do the thinking and not his mind. He was never like that.

But again he could not say his rashness was completely wrong or that he felt bad about it. He did enjoy every moment they shared. He enjoyed every kiss and every tiny gasp she made. The way she melted into me like she wholly trusted me.

He knew he wanted her fingers to roam and explore his body again.

He needed more of what she had to offer and he planned to take as much as she had to give. But did she want the same thing?

She probably hates me.

"See? You're obviously overthinking the entire thing." Clara stared worriedly at him.

Tobias appreciated how well she knew him. She was one of the few persons who were able to read him and understand exactly how he was feeling. She always looked out for him to the best of her abilities.

"I don't know, Clara. With all that's going on, I don't think that was the right move to make. I think I pushed it a bit too far." He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "And she's been up there for a bit too long now. I'm getting worried." He asked, looking down at the visibly appealing food that he had long lost his appetite for. He would probably need to eat something soon. He was literally on a hunger strike.

"I'm pretty sure she's jacking off or something. Nothing to worry about there." Varo interjected before going back to his food, luckily missing the death glare Tobias gave him.

"I don't think an image of that would make things any easier for me."

Varo smirked. "I bet it makes things harder if you know what I mean—"

"What Varo means to say is..." Clara started, smacking the lawyer across the back of his head with a napkin. "...she's probably just collecting herself. You both seemed to be having a lot of fun when we arrived."

"Please, Clara." Tobias groaned in embarrassment while Alvaro stifled a laugh.

"And you should try to collect yourself too. Your nearness to the table and your hand under it is a bit... concerning." Clara finally dropped, making Alvaro burst with laughter with her joining in.

Tobias dumbly stared at the both of them until their idiotic cackling had reduced to tiny snickers. Varo was wiping a tear as Clara tried to breathe properly.

He wanted to compress their heads together.

"I like what you did with the house. Thank you." He changed the subject that had made him the butt of the jokes.

"You do? Clara chose most of the furniture. With her horrible English taste and shit—" He was interrupted by her whacking him again. "Hey, what was that for?!"

"How about you shut up and eat?" She frowned at the idiot who just glared but went back to the food. "It's a really nice house. I felt it was a little too big but Mr. Montez here said it was just perfect. I think the warm tones and colors really suited it. He was just lazy and ended up agreeing with whatever I went with." She answered with Tobias nodding automatically switching to business mode in hopes that it would keep his mind from wandering.

"I was not lazy. We had gone through four different IKEAs. Clara always had issues with all of them." Varo frowned right back. "'This one is too serious.', 'this one is too bland', 'this is too childish', 'my ass won't feet in this couch' — For fuck's sake!" He suddenly yelled, his hand fiercely rubbing the back of his head. "Can you stop abusing me, mujer?!"

"No." She answered flatly, looking at her boss who was listening to their bickering. "We would have gone for some custom sets if it wasn't so expensive and if the wait time was not horrid. But the ones we got were steep to be honest."

"How much? I don't think I've gotten an alert—" His phone's message notification rang out, drawing his attention.

He hesitantly looked at the two people in front of him who shared nervous glances then at the phone.

The multiple zeros made him frown.

"I don't understand..." He looked back at them. "Did you two buy another house?"

"Shit's expensive these days." Varo said with a shrug and Tobias pretended to not see the rose gold chain around his neck that was missing in the morning. The lawyer did nothing to hide it.

There was no amount of inflation that would cost six zeros in any economy but he let it slide. It was not like the money bothered him or anything. There were a lot of things he was supposed to pay attention to.

He hoped he would get over the whole Berlusconi and Davis issue quickly. He had Eniola, his sister, and a business to take care of. He didn't want to dwell on the fact that she was the first person that came to mind.

He had it bad.

"In case you need them, the statement of account and receipts are with Clara." Varo added as he polished the last of his meal and Tobias nodded.

"You have barely touched your food, sir. Are you alright?" Clara asked and he nodded.

"I'm alright." He slowly reached for his food, staring at it for a few seconds before putting it in his mouth. The warm heat from the rice sat well with his taste buds. This isn't too bad.

"How's the food?" Her familiar voice behind him made his heart stop for a second.

She was right behind him.

"Fucking delicious!" Varo answered, stealing a large spoonful from Clara's bowl.

"It's really nice, Enny. Thank you." Clara answered too, glaring at Varo before shielding her food away from him.

"How is the food, Tobi?" She asked quietly, leaning over his shoulder. "You've barely touched it." Her breath fanned the side of his neck, causing him to gulp. His excitement that had taken him so long to calm was quickly coming back.

"I—I was just about to eat." He cleared his throat nervously and she just chuckled, taking a seat beside him and reaching for a clean bowl.

"We were just talking about the house we just furnished." Clara helped, much to Tobias's appreciation.

"Oh? How is it?" Eniola asked with interest, expertly spooning out her food with Tobias slyly watching. He felt she was perfect in almost everything she did.

It was getting more difficult to ignore how he felt about her.

What were they even? Friends? Friends don't kiss the way we did. Friends with benefits? He respected her too much for that.

He had missed so much of her life that he didn't think he was qualified to be called her friend or anything more than mere acquaintances.

She had a lot of people who knew her better. Like Francine and that Kent guy she talked about.

Who the fuck is he?

He almost scoffed at the new emotion he felt. Why would he care? She was no longer a child.

"So you're saying that the house is bigger than mine? What the hell is it? A fucking manor?" She asked jokingly and Tobias silently cringed at her language.

"You have to see the place, Gillian. It's fucking gigantic and fancy as hell. I can't believe he kept that shit from me. If I knew, I would be in New York at least once a month" Varo added, munching on a chicken wing that they had no idea where he got it from.

"I will see it. After you be the good mafia lawyer that you are and get me out of those lawsuits." She said pointedly to Alvaro who nodded but froze. His eyes immediately met with Tobias.

"A what?" He asked and Tobias shook his head, he had forgotten to tell him that Eniola now knew about most of it.

"You know, you're a member of a mafia and a lawyer and-"

"Yeah, no shit. Gato told you huh?" Tobias was impressed by how quickly he recovered as he bit into another piece. "Not everyone knows that so keep it to yourself. I'm sure he already told you that."

Tobias hadn't considered the 'don't tell anyone shit else my people may decide to kill you' part but he knew even if she did, nothing would happen to her. He wouldn't let it.

"Yeah, sure whatever. It's not like I'm planning to go to the police or whatever. If you didn't notice, they're not exactly on my side."

The man glanced at his boss with a questioning look and Tobias just nodded. It was more than enough to say 'let it go'.

"You didn't tell me she knew. Why'd you have to spill?" Varo asked.

"Because it's due time. I cannot have her meet Luca and the rest and not know what is happening." Tobias explained, satisfied with himself for finally finishing his food. "And with Rebecca coming, it's going to be one huge mess."

Varo had to agree at that part. "Yeah, she has a pretty loose mouth."

"She'll slit your throat if she hears that and I won't bat an eyelid." Tobias said lightly and the lawyer chuckled.

"I have a question..." Clara's voice was calm as she spoke up and they all turned to her.

"Shoot."

"So you really kill people? Is it a casual thing or..."

Clara was just as sensitive as Enny, if not more. Tobias' father had shed light on their family affairs years ago so she knew just the basics. Topics like this were what Tobias tried to avoid. During Rebecca's issue, he had told her she was better off feigning ignorance and he wanted it to remain that way.

"It is not a casual thing." He said and she slowly nodded, obviously unable to comprehend what he said.

"Have you killed someone before, Tobi?" Eniola asked, her voice filled with apprehension. "When you said you had to get your sister back, what the hell did that entail?"

Varo let out a low whistle as she asked and Tobias sent him a look. He wasn't helping in any way.

"Do I really..." The look on Eniola and Clara's faces said he did. He sighed before speaking. "I blew up Eisenfaust to save her. It's not like I had a better choice. She was going to be moved to a more secure safehouse in Munich. Time was not on my side."

"And you thought the best thing to do was blow up a safehouse that your sister was in?"

"I was in it too!" Varo added and Clara's eyes widened.

"What?!"

Tobias raised his hand in defense, wondering how everyone turned against him. This was exactly how the council reacted and he said the same thing as he did the first time.

"Alvaro is still here seven years later and my sister will be here tomorrow. I don't see how that went wrong."

"I almost died, you know?" The lawyer said again and Tobias frowned. It sounded like a joke but he never wanted to hear Alvaro put himself and death in the same sentence in this lifetime or the next. "Right, bad joke. Got it."

The shocked look on their faces was the exact reason he chose to keep information like that to himself.

He wouldn't hurt anyone that didn't deserve to be hurt. He wasn't a killer or any of that sort. He didn't want to think of the things he had done to those people that did deserve to be hurt. It was cruel and horrible and they definitely had it coming.

A much suppressed image from the aged part of his mind resurfaced, making him flinch.

"This... This is a lot to digest." Clara said, her tone almost in a whisper while Varo watched her almost worriedly.

"Tigress, you good?"

"Yeah, I'm just a bit— this is a lot to digest." She repeated and his brows furrowed as he cupped her shoulder.

"Yeah, you said it before... Are you sure you're alright?"

With all of their attention on Clara who was clearly having a mental breakdown or an existential crisis at best, Tobias left the room.

He shouldn't have answered that question. He tried too hard to forget about what the family had done to him and what he had made himself do. He did not want to remember any of it.

He looked himself in the mirror for the third time that day and saw something he tried to conceal.

He didn't see the usual smooth faced man with white hair and slightly tanned skin.

He saw blood in his eyes and bruises around them. He saw cuts on his cheeks and blood that was not his own on his ink stained chest.

He saw a cross between an oppressed frown that stifled a much needed cry and a sadistic grin with blood stained teeth barely shielded by his busted lips. He saw himself brandishing a knife with el Tigre Herido.

He saw a killer... and a victim.

"Oh, God." His hands clumsily opened the faucet, splashing the cold water on his face but all he could feel and smell was warm coagulated blood.

He knew they had to die.

Every single one of them. One had taken his family from him. And the other had tried to. Of course they deserved death. Especially the one that had taken his own life from him.

He almost threw up at the thought of seeing him in any of those scenarios. He wasn't a killer. "But I killed them."

They fucking deserved it!

He tried to convince himself that whether officer Paulo died or not, it wasn't his fault. Varo had hurt Paulo, not him. He hardly touched the man.

But you instructed him to do it, Tobias.

He knew his conscience was right. Hell, his conscience was screaming at him throughout the Romero ordeal as he carved the man's chest open.

Deserved.

And Eisenfaust.

Deserved.

And his father.

Fucking. Deserved.

Tobias exhaled and slapped his cheeks a few times. He splashed the water on his face again, finally coming down from the slight panic attack he just had. It had been years.

He looked at himself again, watching his chest heave as he inhaled and exhaled.

He made his way to the bed, dropping on it in exhaustion.

Maybe he would try to tell her. Try to tell her the entire story this time.

If she was the Eniola he knew before, she would not judge him.

He hoped she would hear the entire story and stay. He needed her to stay.

She was his distraction from all the chaos.