After I calmed down enough, Morgan let me go and I pulled my hat off and let my hair down. This night it about us, time to act like it. While Morgan was looking through the fridge to see what we could make for dinner, I took our bags into the bedroom. It really did look like Annabelle hasn't stepped foot in here. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she was sleeping in her office.

I changed into the pajama's I brought with me and met Morgan in the kitchen. She already had bottle of wine open and a glass poured waiting for me. I picked it up from the counter and walked over to where she was standing in front of the stove.

"What's in the oven?" I asked taking a sip of the chilled white wine.

"Apparently Annabelle got us fresh pierogi from somewhere off base, she left instructions on how to use the oven to warm them up." Morgan said and turned around to face me.

"I'm going to owe her big time after this." I said and watched as Morgan took a sip from her own wine glass.

"Yes, you most likely are, but for now, it's just us, remember." Morgan said and held out her wine glass towards me. I nodded and clinked glasses with her. After we each took a sip, Morgan went off to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable while I watched over our dinner.

I took in some other things in the fridge and topped off my glass by the time Morgan returned dressed in a pair of shorts and tank top. The flannel she was wearing before was draped over her shoulders as she came over to me and slide right into my side.

"How long before they are ready? I haven't eaten anything since breakfast." I asked.

"It shouldn't be long. Only about ten minutes. You need to remember to eat." Morgan said and ran a hand through my hair.

"I know, I was just too busy today to stop and take a break." I said and closed my eyes at the feeling of Morgan's hand scrapping through my hair.

"Well consider this as your reminder." Morgan said and pulled her hand from my hair. I pouted and opened my eyes to watch her walk over to the oven and pull out our dinner.

I tried to make myself useful and find the plates in the few different cabinets and once I did I grabbed two for us. Morgan grabbed the plate from my hand while I found the silver wear from a draw right under the cabinet that held the plate. I joined Morgan at the table and found her waiting for me. She took a fork from my hand before taking a few pierogi from the dish and put them on her own dish. I followed her lead and we eat dinner together. The pierogi were delicious and it made me a bit jealous that I probably won't be having them again in country, once we leave tomorrow. I pushed that thought away as quickly as it surfaced.

After we finished dinner, I took the plates to the kitchen and began to wash the dishes while I heard Morgan put on the TV in the living room. The routine of washing dishes put me at ease and by the time I was done, all I wanted to do was curl up in her arms. It took a second but I realized I could do just that. I downed the last of the wine in my glass and sat down on the couch next to her. Morgan pulled me tightly into her and wrapped her arms around my chest to hold me close to her. The TV is on, playing some kind of movie in Polish and I couldn't understand most of it. At this point it just served as background nose as I was only paying attention to Morgan.

"Is there something on my face that you aren't watching the movie?" She asked after another few minutes of staring.

"Well, I don't speak Polish so I barely know what's going on right now. But I much rather be looking at you. You're so much better to look at anyway." I said rested my chin on her chest.

"Smooth talker you are." Morgan said with a chuckle before she pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"When we get home, I want more of this." I said still not taking my eyes off of her.

That got Morgan's attention. She turned her head from the TV to look at me, the movie now long forgotten.

"What else do you want more of when we get home?" Morgan asked quietly.

"I want more of us. This. Being together. Not having to hide it. I've done that before and I don't want to do it again. I want to bring you home to my moms as my girl and not just a friend. You mean so much more to me then that." I as I felt eyes starting to water.

"Is there anything else you want to add to that list?" Morgan asked and wiped away a tear that fell from my eye.

"We've already spent so many years dancing around our feelings. I just want a life with you. A full one. One with a house and a white picket fence. Without the possibility of one of us having to run into a battle." I said baring what's left of my soul to her.

"When we get home we'll work on all of it because I want all of that with you." Morgan answered and gave me a watery smile.

I pulled away from Morgan and stood from the couch. Morgan gave me a questioning look before I bent down and picked her right up bridal style from the couch. Morgan gasped at the sudden move and wrapped her arms around my neck. She held on tightly as I walked us both to the bedroom before kicking closed the door behind me. I gently placed Morgan down on in the middle of the bed. I took a second to close the blinds and set an alarm for the next morning before dimming the lights. When I turned to Morgan, I found her already waiting for me in the flannel she was wearing earlier in the night and just that. Quickly, I pulled my shirt over my head and stripped out of my pants.

Morgan pushed herself up on her elbows and I got a full view of her breasts that were out on full display. It almost made me trip getting out of my pants and underwear trying to get to her faster. But finally I was out of my clothes and made my way to Morgan. She sat up and met me at the edge of the bed as I got close to her. Morgan put her hands on my face, running her fingers up and down my jaw line before leaning in to kiss me. I let her set the pace for the first few minutes before I had enough and made her move back onto the bed so I can join her.

I didn't let our lips part as we moved. As soon as Morgan's head landed on the pillows I pulled away from her just to take her in. Morgan's chocolate brown eyes were blown wide in anticipation and lust. It drew me right back in and it didn't take long before she was moaning my name. I spent a good part of the night just focused on her; I didn't want the pleasure. I just wanted Morgan to receive it, to make sure she knows how much I love her.

But after a brief nap, Morgan wanted to show me the same attention I have shown her over the first part of our night. Morgan started to leave kisses all along my body and I started to give into the feeling. Just as she was about to take it a step further Morgan leaned her head over mine and made me look up at her. Her eyes searched mine for a few long seconds before she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

"What's going on?" Morgan asked.

"I don't know if I deserve you." I said letting her in a bit as to what is going on.

"Yes, you do baby, you do. I thought we went over all of that be before on the couch?" Morgan asked with a sweat smile on her face.

"What I want and what I deserve are to very different things Morgan. The only thing that separates me from the label of mass murderer is because I'm wearing a uniform." I answered and looked away from Morgan's eyes. I couldn't bare the sullen look I would see in her eyes.

Morgan was silent over me but I felt her hands come up my body, her fingers wrapping around my chin. She forced me to look up at her and my breath caught in my throat at what I found in her eyes. The pure love in her eyes made tears start to pour out of mine.

"That is going to be a very long, very painful conversation. One that needs to be held with mental health professional. Once we get home, that will be the first thing you are going to do Daniella. One without me and then one with us together so I know how to better help you because this life you want us to have, will be a bleak one if these are the thoughts that are going through your head. Do you understand?" Morgan asked.

I could barely see Morgan through the tears that kept pouring out of my eyes. Never before have I felt my cry for help actually be answered. But finally, maybe I don't have to do all of this all alone. All I could do was nod at Morgan because I knew if I tried to speak, all that would come out is a sob.

"Good. I love you so much Daniella and I don't want you to suffer in silence anymore. We are going to get through this deployment together and go home and make our house a home and live that life we deserve, okay?" Morgan asked as I started to wipe away some of my tears from my face.

I could only nod again before Morgan pulled the blankets up over us as she laid down on top of me. I held onto her tightly and didn't fight it when Morgan flipped us over so she could hold me. She kept me close as my panic and anxiety over the subject finally started to ease. Morgan started to hum to a song and I could feel the sound coming from her throat. I moved my hand up and brought it right to the base of her neck so I could feel it better.

"You like it when I sing, don't you pretty girl?" Morgan asked after a few minutes. I nodded and pressed a kiss to the the hallow of her throat still not trusting my voice.

"Any requests?" Morgan asked as I settled against her again. I sighed and nudged her chin with my forward, wanting her to start again.

"I've got you pretty girl." Morgan said before she started to hum again. I didn't recognize the song but just focused on the vibrations coming from her throat. When she finished another song I leaned forward and kiss the hallow of her throat again. My mind finally starting to settle enough to form some words.

"Thank you" Was all I said.

"There's my pretty girl, do you need anything?" Morgan asked.

"Just you" I answered.

"You have me." Morgan said and held me a bit closer.

I took a breath and pressed another kiss against Morgan's chest. In return, Morgan pressed one to the top of my head.

"Tired" I said finally feeling all of the nights emotions catch up to me.

"Then sleep pretty girl. I've got you." Morgan said and kissed my head again. My exhaustion finally caught up with me and finally being safe in Morgan's arms to keep the nightmares away, I feel asleep.

When my alarm went off the next morning, I thought I was in a dream. Everything that happened last night felt like I went through an outer body experience. But waking up, still tightly tucked in Morgan's arms, I knew that everything happened. The confession of how I've been feeling. Morgan's determination to get me help when we get home. I was barely able to move in Morgan's tight embrace to shut off my alarm and check the time. I still had some time before I had to meet Major Collins in her office. But I wanted to shower and eat breakfast with a cup of coffee while I still had access to good coffee.

I kissed Morgan's chest and she started to rouse from sleep. I left a few more kisses on her chest and throat before she really came too and opened her eyes. They were still pretty sleepy looking and I couldn't help but find them adorable.

"Good morning my love." I said and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Morgan gave me a sleepy smile and tucked her head into the crock of my neck.

"I don't want to get up." Morgan said.

"Neither do I, but if we stay in this bed to much long, we are going to be reported as AWOL and I seriously do not want to spend the rest of my life in a military prison." I said and started to run my fingers up and down Morgan's naked spine.

"I don't either, but five more minutes please? I don't know the next time I'll be able to hold you like this." Morgan said and sighed.

I couldn't argue with her logic and simply just pulled her into me. Neither of us said anything. The day is finally here. We are getting deployed together into the middle of a war zone with no timetable on how long we will actually be there for. So, I tried to soak in these last five minutes holding onto Morgan because she was right. I don't know when the next time I'll be able to hold her like this.

Our five minutes were up when Morgan's alarm started to go off. It was then that I knew she planned this. With one final squeeze I pulled away from Morgan and slowly sat up in bed. I ran a hand through my hair and got out of bed to make my way to the bathroom. Annabelle has a huge shower and I have every intention on using it. Stepping inside the shower, I let the warm water loosen up my tense muscles for a few moments. Just as I was about to start washing my hair, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. A smile graced my lips as I let Morgan hang onto me for a few moments before I stepped forward and pulled her under the water. Once the water hit her head, Morgan let go of my waist and I was able to start washing myself.

It took us about twenty minutes to get done in the shower. After we were dried and dressed, we piled everything we used into the bin Annabelle left for us and striped the sheets from the bed. Once we cleaned up everything, Morgan did one final sweep of the apartment. Everything was back in it's place and like we were never here. When she came up to me and grabbed the backpack from my hand, I waited until she slung it onto her back before I stepped into her personal space. Morgan didn't look surprised; she just wrapped her arms around my hips lightly and looked back and forth between my eyes for a moment.

"I have been struggling to find the words to say about how I felt for a while now and that all came to a head last night. I'm sorry it all came out the way it did. Everything is just happening to fast to keep up. Some days my body still thinks I'm still on the deployment before dad died. Then I look at the date and see almost two months have past. Thank you for being a safe place for me to confide in. Don't think I forgot about what you said. When I get home and settled, I'll find a therapist because I want this life with you. A long one, not haunted by my demons."

Since waking up, I knew I needed to explain a bit more about what I have been feeling as bottling it all up hasn't been working. Morgan just pulled me into her and pressed her lips to mine. I felt like a bit of the weight has lifted from my chest. The bolder is still there, but a few large chunks got chopped off. Morgan pulled away from the kiss first and gave me a smile.

"I love you and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. But right now, we need to walk out of that door and get to Annabelle's office." Morgan said.

I gave her one more kiss before picking up my own backpack. Morgan pulled the hat from my hands and put it square on my head. When it was too her liking Morgan gave me a kiss on the cheek and then pulled the front door open. She walked out first and I followed behind her. Looks like I'm going to owe Annabelle a lot more then for just the night stay at her apartment. She doesn't know it, but she might have just saved my life.

a/n: song on the side is 4EVER by Clairo. the lyrics kind of explain why I added this song to this chapter. I felt like the this scene was important and I wanted to give it the details it deserved and I didn't want to rush it and make last chapter so long.

I do also have to say that I think my best and favorite line I have ever (possibly) written is in this chapter and I was so proud of it. as for the things that Dani brings up in this chapter, we probably won't see the resolution. when I do end this book, I don't plan on writing much of them back at home. Maybe I'll write a couple of long one-shots? if I have ideas.