Mom, Peyton and Dominic all left a few days after the hearing. Before they did leave though, Dominic helped me get a new car. He ended up getting me a really good deal on a new Jeep Grand Cherokee, it came with all the bells and whistles. After they left, we were on our own for the first time since coming home from war. It was an interesting few days when I realized that I couldn't just yell out mom and have either of them come around the corner.

It took us a few days in to really get a routine going. With Kuzma not in school yet, Morgan and I have been buying him work books to see where he is on par with the American school system. While English language arts was hard for him, Kuzma was excelling at math and science. History was a blank slate for him as his old schools didn't teach American history. Our mornings would usually started with him and I sitting together for breakfast while Morgan enjoyed sleeping in. From there, we would do two hours of school, usually math then English before we took a break for lunch and a bit of time outside. Then we would finish off the day with science and history.

Even though we are both still out on medical leave, Morgan has been working from home, so she has mostly been filtering in and out of the room while Kuzma and I do school. I have been going to physical therapy three times a week to work on getting strength back into my chest and arms. Though most of my incision stitches have fully healed and I am almost completely off of all of my medications, I do have pain in my chest and ribs if I move to fast or try to lift heavy objects. But things were good, really good. I finally felt at peace for the first time since we have gotten home.

It took about a month in our routine for the nightmares to start. At first, they were just of me being back in the car when the all the bombs fell around us. Then it shifted to the moment Morgan got shot and reliving it over and over again. It was getting so bad it finally got to the point where I wasn't sleeping.

After a hard night, I finally had enough. When I woke up from the little sleep I did manage to get, I asked Morgan to take care of Kuzma while I took the car to base. I just needed to get out of the house for a while to try and reset my brain. It didn't take me long to end up at the gates of the base. The MPs waved me through after looking at my ID and I drove over to the cages.

It was a small miracle that my ID swiped me into the building and that it even worked to let me into the cages. When I pushed the door open I was happy to see it empty. Looking at the room, it doesn't look like anybody has really been here since we got back. It made me happy to know the team was taking time to rest and not come in. Everyone's gear was haphazardly thrown into the cages, mine included. I walked over to my cage and used my key to unlock the lock I have on the door and opened it up.

It didn't take long to find my rifle, still loaded, with a round in the chamber sitting upright in the stand I made. Quickly, I unloaded the rifle and put it onto the team table in the middle of the room. It needs to be cleaned as it was still dusty from the steal plant. With that out of the way, I opened up my camping chair and sat down in front of my gear trunk. After one deep breath, I undid the buckles and pushed the lid open.

The first thing I noticed was that everything had a layer of dust. My helmet and ear protection were both still in tact so I set those aside. The next thing I pulled out of the box was my vest. Dark blood stains covered parts of the fabric and some of the pockets that were attached to the front were empty. It looks like it was knocked around a bunch and things just fell out of it while on the move. My eyes kept coming back to the blood spatter though, it was most likely mine. I knew I was going to need a whole new set up, there was no saving this one.

From here, I made the decision to make keep and toss piles. I pulled the magazines and extra gear I had attached to the Velcro and put them in the save pile. Next came the few patches I had on the front and back. Even though blood was covering a good portion of it, I kept my name plate. With one more once over to make sure I didn't miss anything, I put the vest into the toss pile.

The next thing I pulled out of my box was my thigh hostler with my favorite pistol still sitting inside of it. When I pulled the gun out, I wasn't surprised to find that it was also still loaded. I put a fresh magazine inside the handle before taking a look at the hostler. It was still looking good but it also helped that it was black. I put my pistol back into the hostler and attached it to my thigh as I wanted to bring it home with me. Having the familiar weight of the holster on my thigh pulled a little bit of the anxious feelings I've been having off my shoulders.

From there, the next thing in the box was a few pairs of pants. That night I had on three layers and I quickly put the two that were on the inside in the toss pile. After they were gone, I found my gear pants. They smelt bad from the dried blood soaked into them, smoak, dirt, the dense air from being inside the bunker and the lingering gunpowder from the explosions. Even though I tried not to breath in the smell, I did look them over. It was easy to find the all the burn holes in my pants from the RPG shrapnel. From the outer layer, it was quick for me to see that if I wasn't wearing the two other layers, the shrapnel damage to my legs would have been a lot worse.

I tried to push that thought away and went to work pulling out all the items in my pockets. Lucky for me, all of the zippers and snap buttons held close ensuring everything stayed in place. The only thing that was missing was the SAT phone which was most likely used to call command to get the helicopters to come back to evac me out. As I went to empty the last pocket, I felt a piece of metal sitting inside. When I pulled it out, I almost dropped it. Sitting in my hand was the bullet that hit my front chest plate when we cleared the building. God, I still find it hard to believe that all of that damage happened in one night. That night alone felt like serving a whole year overseas. I slipped the bullet into my pocket before I threw the pants out of my cage as the smell of them was starting to get to me.

At the bottom of the box, I found the backpack I was using on the mission along with my elbow and knee pads. I guess my boots got left behind then. The backpack clearly has seen better days. Most of the outside was burnt to a crisp and there were a few holes burned through the left side. I unzipped the main pocket and started to pull out the few things inside. Mostly note books from I kept from the mission that I wrote in short hand. I ended up getting to the bottom of bag and found the few patches, pins and trinkets from the Ukrainian military and there special forces. Those few moments I got to talk with them and trade the few patches and coins we had on us was some of the best moments of the whole mission. Reaching deeper into the bag I found the little giraffe figurine and I had to stop.

This little giraffe was given to me from a little girl named Natalia who was a bit older the Kuzma. She was in the bunker with her father, an employee of the plant. When the first bombs started landing in Mariupol, her mother was able to get out to Poland while Natalia took refugee with her father in the bunker. Nobody knew that they would be living in there for months. I helped her and her father make there way to the exit. She was clutching onto this giraffe figurine so tightly but when she got bumped into from behind, it fell from her hand. I was quick enough to pick it up for her and tried to give it back but she wouldn't take it. Once we got outside, I pointed them into the direction of the waiting trucks and she gave me one more hug and a wave before taking her dads hand and got on a truck to safety, leaving me this little giraffe to remember her by.

"I'm surprised it took you this long to come pay a visit." Annabelle. My head snapped up from looking at the giraffe and I saw her standing against the team table with a smile on her face. I knew that there were tears coming from my eyes as I held onto the giraffe but I couldn't stop them. I just held up the figurine for her to look at before closing my fist around it again.

"Ghosts are keeping me awake at night, I needed to come and see if I can settle some of them." I said and put the giraffe down in the keep pile before I emptied out the other pocket of my backpack before putting it in my toss pile.

This is the first time I've seen Annabelle since getting out of the hospital and it was about time I got to give her a proper hug. I got up from my camping chair and started to walk over to her. My eyes were still watering when I got over to her and she pulled me into a hug. I couldn't help the sob that escaped my lips as my arms tightened around her waist as she held me tight to her.

It took a few minutes to get myself together enough to pull away from her embrace. When I did she cupped my cheeks and wiped away the tears that clung to my cheeks and I bit my lip trying not to start crying again.

"I never got the chance to say it before, but thank you for staying by my side when I got to the hospital. Just thank you Annabelle for saving me twice now." I said wiped away a few more tears that fell from her cheeks.

"Twice?" Annabelle asked and I couldn't help but nod.

"That night Morgan and I had in Poland made me finally come clean to her about how I was feeling about things and now just staying by my side during my hospital stay." I said. Annabelle shed another tear before pulling me into another hug. Neither of us wanted to let go of the other now that we were back together again. But finally we slowly broke apart.

"How much more do you have to do in here?" Annabelle asked and wiped away some tears getting herself together.

"If you help me, it will probably take a few minutes." I said trying to get myself together. Annabelle nodded so I just asked if she could start putting all of the things I'm keeping back into the trunk while I put my rifle and sniper rifle into cases so I can bring them home with me. Once everything was away, we brought it out to my car before going back into the cage one more time to get rid of my old gross gear. With one final sweep to make sure I have everything I needed, I locked up my cage and followed behind Annabelle to her office.

When we got there I sank into the couch she has in her office, which I have no doubt that she has slept on more times then we both could count. She joined me on the couch with a piece of paper in hand and I took a second to try and relax.

"So, I know that this is probably the last thing you want to hear but after this, it should be the end of it." Annabelle started and I could only sigh and let her continue.

"After all of the reports and debriefs were submitted to command, I got news that they want to give you some medals for the mission. That and there is a promotion in store for you." Annabelle said and folded the paper over before looking at me.

"Sergeant First Class" I said to myself and Annabelle nodded. I didn't think I would move up in rank again before the end of my service. "And the medals?"

"Well, for the whole unit, including Morgan, the Presidential Unit Citation. Then there is the Legion of Merit award for your part in getting all the information on all from the computers the Russian soldiers were using in the steel plant. In addition, a Bronze Star with valor and a purple heart with two bonze oak leaf clusters, to recognize your other awards. Both are for your actions after the Russians came back to the steel plant." Annabelle said and handed me the piece of paper.

"Is there going to be a formal ceremony for this?" I asked taking a look at the official letter confirming the new awards.

"No, I made it pretty clear to command that you still had a lot going on with your recovery and needed to stay home and not get onto another plane just as you were settling back in at home. They weren't really happy about it but when they started to grumble about it, I just made them watched the last few moments of the video again and they finally dropped the subject." Annabelle said and I took a breath in relief.

"Thank you" I said.

"Just because there isn't a formal ceremony, doesn't mean there won't be a ceremony at all. Send your uniform out for the new rank and when it comes back we are going to do a small in house thing. Also you should talk to Morgan about her own medal." Annabelle said.

"Wait, what's she getting?" I asked more excited.

"You need to ask her, I'm not supposed to know." Annabelle said with a chuckle. I grumbled and sighed before sitting back into the couch.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." I said and rolled my head over to her. When I saw Annabelle nod, I know I needed to tell her.

"Officially getting Kuzma and now being with Morgan made me put some more things into perspective. I want to retire, at the end of my service term, I'm not going to reup. Also, I want to resign from Gold team effect once I get medically cleared." I said, ripping the band aid right off.

Annabelle's jaw dropped a little bit but she was able to recover faster then I thought she would have. It seamed like she was choosing her next words really carefully. I know I'm good at what I do, also that her and I have a great working relationship that most other officers and NCO's don't. But this shift is necessary, I need to put my family first from here on out and I hope she will understand that.

"You mentioned it, back in the hospital when Morgan came to see you that first day. I didn't realize you were serious about this. I just thought it was the drugs and the come down from the mission." Annabelle said somberly.

"Before we left Poland, that night I was talking about, I was not okay Annabelle. I couldn't see a point to it all anymore. I can't deal with the moral and emotional complications from this job anymore. That night I think I finally reached my breaking point and I let Morgan in. I made some promises to her that I want to keep. We still have to talk about the details more, but I can't keep doing this anymore. The thought of leaving and not coming home to my kid and Morgan isn't something I can live with." I said and finally looked up to her. I watched as Annabelle sigh before she nodded.

Annabelle stood up from her the couch and walked over to her desk. She pulled open a few draws looking for something before she finally found what she was looking for. Once she found it, Annabelle came back over to the couch and sat down. She held a small business card in her hands and played with the edges of it for a few moments, like she was debating on whether or not she should give it to me. In the end, she finally made up her answer when she held the card out to me. I took the clearly old, worn card from her and looked it over. It was very simple. Dr. Reneé Fasching was written in bold black lettering on the light blue card. Her her license and certification information was written in the middle of the card with her phone numbers and address listed below her name.

"It's for a therapist I've seen before. She's very good, has a lot of experience with combat soldiers, she keeps everything off the books unless the patience is a danger to themselves or others. Mention my name and she will be able fit you in right away, she can help you with some of those ghosts you were talking about." Annabelle said and gave me a sad smile. I leaned over the couch and pulled Annabelle into a messy hug that almost ended up with both of us on the floor.

After we righted ourselves on the couch we both talked for a bit. I'm going talk to Morgan about what I want to do with my Army future and once we worked out everything, I would met again with Annabelle and we would work everything out for Gold Teams future. Leaving the building, I felt a little lighter then before I went in, hopeful that I might get some sleep tonight.

The ride home was quiet. I turned the radio off and just cracked the windows open and cruised down the streets taking me home. As I pulled into the driveway, I sat in the drivers seat and pulled out the business card Annabelle gave me and called the number. After stuttering my way through the first few seconds on the call, I pushed myself through the rest of it. Once I dropped that I got this number from Annabelle, the receptionist was able to pencil me in for an appointment later in the week. After the call I let out a few deep breaths and then got out of the car.

Morgan was waiting for me when I got inside, I barely put my keys down onto the table before wrapping my arms around her. She held onto me for a while and all I wanted to do was stay in her arms, forever. A few moments later, I felt a small pair of hands on my leg and I pulled Kuzma right into the middle of us.

Kuzma didn't stay with us for long, he was more interested in playing with one of his toys, but I stayed wrapped up in Morgan for a bit longer. When I finally pulled away from her, Morgan pressed a kiss to my temple before going back to helping Kuzma with school. I left the two of them to deal with school for today while I brought in my gear that needed to be cleaned. I made sure to keep the garage door locked as I started to clean them before locking all the guns up in the safe, well all except my pistol which is now going to go into the gun safe in our new bedroom.

Cleaning my gear took most of the day and once I was finally done, I left the garage and went upstairs to get my uniform together so I can get it tailored. Once I put it back into my car, I joined Morgan and Kuzma as they started to cook dinner. Tonight was a simple dinner of teriyaki chicken with rice and vegetables. Once everything was cooked, we all sat down at the table together to eat and Kuzma filled me in on what Morgan and him went over with school work today.

After dinner Morgan and I cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes. As everything started to drip dry on the drying rack, I grabbed two beers from the fridge before sitting down on the couch with her.

"Going to base went that well today?" She asked before taking a swig of the opened IPA she has been liking lately.

"Annabelle and I had a long conversation about a few things. I finally told her about wanting to retire and to resign from Gold Team." I started

"How did she take it?" Morgan asked.

"Better then I thought she would have. We are going to meet again later in the week to talk again and go over some options for the remaining time I'm enlisted for. I've been thinking about it recently and I thought that once I get cleared from medical to see if I could possibly become an instructor at Sniper School. It would keep me here with somewhat reasonable hours to make sure Kuzma is taken care of." I said and ran a hand through my hair.

"Sounds like you put a lot of thought into it, and it sounds like a really good idea babe." Morgan said and gave me a smile before taking a long sip of her beer.

"As for the rest of our conversation, apparently I'm getting some more chest candy and that I'm getting promoted to Sergeant First Class." I said with a small smile as I looked over to her.

"I'm really proud of you." Morgan said and pressed a sloppy kiss to my cheek.

"She also told me that you were up for your own medal?" I asked giving her a curious look. Morgan gave me a sigh smile before taking a long drink of her beer before answering.

"I'm being presented the Legion of Merit award. I was told it was for getting all the information flowing from the computers we found in the plant along with all the additional research we did in IDing the leaders at the steel plant. Oh, and the best part is that I'm also getting a promotion to Captain." Morgan said and I almost dropped my beer.

"Morgan, this is huge! We have to celebrate this!" I said and put my beer down on the table before worming my way into her arms.

"It is a huge, the promotion comes with more work and different options for what I want to do next, along with some additional time they want me to commit to." Morgan said and sighed.

"How much more?" I asked concerned.

"If I accept, they want me to commit to at least another three years after these two are up." Morgan answered.

"When do you have to give them an answer by?" I asked and pulled away from Morgan to be able to see her face.

"They want an answer in a week." Morgan answered.

"Is this something you want, at least five more years of being an enlisted officer?" I asked.

"I think so, I have a lot of different paths I can go down with this new rank, so I can start over and try something new, or maybe see if I can get back into the DOD fellowship your dad got me into before we were deployed." Morgan said with a far away look in her eye.

I grabbed her hand in mine and I watched as her eyes come back to me. It took a few seconds to see her focus but once she did, I brought her hand to my lips and pressed a kiss to them before pressing a kiss to the bracelet I proposed to her with. Morgan let go of my hand brought it up to cup my cheek.

"No matter what you decide, I will always support your decision. But, I'm going to make you a promise though, once my two years are over and I'm retired, we are going to go get married." I said with a small smile.

"I will hold you to that promise." Morgan said with a smile before leaning in to press a kiss to my lips. The kiss didn't last long as we were interrupted by Kuzma throwing a pillow at both of us to break it up. Morgan and I both looked at each other before we jumped off the couch to chase him down.

For the first time since we got home, we finally have a plan for our future together, one that I was so looking forward to seeing.

a/n: our girls have plans. one more left. song on the side is called awake and alive by Skillet. I wanted these thoughts to have there own chapter because Dani is not okay in the after math of finally settling back at home with her family. She went through a large trauma, not only physically but mentally as well and I didn't want to brush it completely under the rug.