I had to admit, I had completely underestimated Karim's effectiveness. When we stepped out of the warehouse, we came to a halt, our path blocked by moaning mountains of prone pirates.

"C-Captain!" One of the men on the ground forced himself up onto his knees with one hand, using the other to stem the flow of blood from his nose. "Captain Rockface, get out of here! There's a maniac running around attacking everyone! He—"

That was when Mr Ambrose stepped aside, revealing the towering form of Karim behind him.

"Gaaah! HelpNoMercyPleaseDon'tKillMe!"

Mr Ambrose shook his head. "You truly disappoint me."

The man blinked. "D-disappoint you?"

"Indeed. You can't even pass a simple test like this."

"T-test?"

"Naturally," he said with a shamelessness I truly had to admire. And learn from. "I hired Mr Karim here—" He clapped the massive bodyguard on the shoulder. "—to test out your response to sudden attacks and emergency situations." His eyes frosted over. "Needless to say you failed miserably."

"I—I'm s-sorry, Captain!" The man clambered to his feet, bowing in apology. "I'm so sorry! Any punishment you'll decide on, we'll—"

"Oh, you aren't going to be punished," Mr Ambrose cut him off.

The pirate blinked. "I'm not?"

"No. You're going to be improved." He pointed at Karim. "Say hello to your new first mate."

Then he strode away, ignoring the pirate who let out an agonised wail.

"Well, well." Grinning, I clapped Karim on the back. "Seems like you've found the pirates you were looking for after all."

"Indeed, Sahiba." Eyes glittering darkly, Karim gave the whimpering pirate an intense look and cracked his knuckles. "How fortunate. I'm quite looking forward to spending time with them over the next few days."

"Go ahead. Have fun." And, patting him on the back, I strolled off after my dear husband.

"Aaaah! No! Don't leave me alone with him. Please, don't—grk!"

Did I just hear someone scream?

I cocked my head.

Nah. Must have been my imagination.

Quickening my pace, I did my best to catch up to Mr Ambrose—my best unfortunately not being good enough, currently. Dratted oversized, ballooning belly!

When I finally reached him, he was standing on top of a cliff at the rocky shore, gazing down at a ship anchored nearby that was clearly not a pirate vessel. It wasn't really hard to tell, considering the Union Jack fluttering atop the mast and the letters on the prow that proudly proclaimed Croesus.

"Let me guess..." Stepping up beside him, I leaned my head against his shoulder. "One of yours?"

"What gave it away?"

"The luxurious design, of course."

"Indeed?"

"Indeed."

There was a moment of silence. Then...

"Um...Mr Ambrose?"

"Yes?"

"Now that we'll be returning home..." I hesitated as something occurred to me. "Just checking, we will be returning home, right?"

I swear, if he was going to tell me he wanted to continue on with his merry band of sea-brigands and let me give birth to a gaggle of little pirate babies, I was going to brain him with a frying pan.

"Naturally."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Ah. Good." No frying pan required, then. "Well, now that we'll be returning home—what are we going to do with your personal pirate posse?"

For a moment, I saw a mental image of Captain Rockface sailing up the Thames at the head of his pirate fleet, ready to plunder the heart of the British Empire.

Yeah, that probably won't go over well with the Queen.

"Hm...." Mr Ambrose stood there for a long moment, stroking his chin. "Do you think the trade routes to India are safe?"

I blinked. "Um...yes? I think? I don't really know. I'm not an expert on the subject of Imperial sea trade."

"Let me rephrase. Don't you think the trade routes to India are a little too safe? Especially the ones under the control of the East India Company?"

My eyes widened ever so slightly. "Oh."

"Most especially the routes used by the East India Company to transport its opium from India to China in order to try and addict the entire country, as well as transport back the profits derived from said opium's sale."

I couldn't keep the smile from spreading across my face as my eyes wandered back to the pirates who were currently arrayed in a line in front of Karim. "Now that I think about it...I believe we forgot to send Lord Dalgliesh a birthday present this year."

"Indeed."

"Like all the years before that. Considering that, as the main shareholder of the East India Company, he's such an important personage, that's really unforgivable."

"Indeed."

"I think we should remedy that, don't you?"

"Speedily."

"Let's send him a...surprise. In fact, several ships full of surprises."

"Agreed."

Our eyes met, and then, as one, we turned to the pirate fleet anchored a little farther away. The pirate fleet that would soon be sailing off for a nice, long, plundering holiday in the east. Giving birthday presents was such fun!

Suddenly, something occurred to me.

"Mr Ambrose?" I asked in the sweetest tone I could manage. Batting my eyelashes up at my darling husband, I leaned towards him.

"Yes?" he enquired suspiciously.

"Before we send them off, could you do me one teensy-weensy harmless little favour...?"

***

We met up with the rest of the pirate fleet a few dozen nautical miles from the island. They happily cheered and welcomed back their captain—that is, until they were introduced to their new first mate. Over the next few days, Karim took great pleasure in "instructing" his new subordinates. It was almost enough to make me feel pity for the bunch of murderous bastards. Or, to be precise, for what was left of them.

"Are you sure we can't drag them back to Britain and publicly hang them from the yardarm, Sahiba?" he enquired, his piercing gaze sweeping over the three dozen or so pirates who were frantically scrubbing a squeaky-clean deck.

"Quite sure." I nodded. "But Mr Ambrose and I had this rather interesting idea..."

Leaning closer, I started to whisper. All that anyone else could hear were a few words like "Dalgliesh" and "rob him blind" and "Mwahahahaha!"

Karim's eyes glinted.

"True, Sahiba. That does sound...intriguing."

I gave him a beaming smile. "So glad you agree. Do you think you could properly motivate our friends over there?"

Karim's deadly gaze returned towards the pirate crew, who instinctively doubled their scrubbing speed.

"You can count on me, Sahiba."

Matters proceeded swiftly after that. Karim gave a little "motivational speech" and, roughly three seconds later, a fleet of thoroughly terrified pirates was racing off eastwards. Maybe it was just my imagination, but somehow they seemed to be moving faster than the wind that was supposedly pushing the ships along.

Looking after them, I smiled. At the command of their new first mate, Karim, our friendly little fleet of freebooters was destined to achieve great things.

And I did mean at the command of Karim, not under. Judging from the way he stuck to our side, hell would freeze over and Mr Rikkard Ambrose would become philanthropist of the year before the big, bearded bodyguard would let us out of his sight again. And to be honest, after our little adventure with the pirates, I could hardly blame him.

Besides... One corner of my mouth quirked up. It isn't necessary for him to go, is it? All it took was one stern glance from him, and the entire pirate fleet was sailing off, having sworn up and down they would make the lives of the East India Company traders hell on earth.

Well...almost the entire pirate fleet.

Remember the favour I asked from Mr Ambrose earlier?

I guess it's time for now.

Mr Ambrose and I were standing at the railing of the Croesus, looking after the departing fleet. I was only barely paying attention to it, though. I was far more focused on something else, instead. Out of the corner of my eye, I was watching the galley of Mr Ambrose's ship, where I'd sent a certain cabin boy to sort through the supplies for our journey. A journey that would take him a lot farther than back to the pirate camp he had previously lived in.

"Do you think Lord Dalgliesh is going to appreciate our surprise present?" I enquired, looking back at the pirate fleet.

"I am certain he is going to be surprised."

In the distance, the fleet fired off their cannons as a last goodbye, followed by a raucous cheer.

"Yep...probably." I smirked.

Just then, I heard a door creak open behind me. I glanced around just in time to see the familiar face of a scruffy little boy peeking out of the galley.

"Wait here a minute, will you?" Throwing my husband a meaningful look, I placed a hand on his arm. "I'll be back in a minute."

His eyes flickered between me and the boy. Instinctively, he seemed to understand. He took my hand, squeezed it gently, and then spoke three little words.

"Take your time."

I swallowed.

He really does love me, doesn't he?

Fighting to keep the smile off my face, I moved towards Liam. There would be enough time later to show my appreciation to my husband. Right now, I had to give a little boy some happy news.

"Um...hello there, Liam!" Waving, I approached. "I've got good news!"

"What's going on?" Liam demanded. He didn't really look very happy. Rather, for some reason, he was looking at me suspiciously. "Where are the other pirates? Why did you bring me onto this bloody ship? The galley is already full to the brim!"

I sighed, giving him a small smile. "Isn't it obvious?"

It certainly was for me. The moment I'd laid eyes on the little twerp in the midst of a gaggle of bloodthirsty pirates, I knew what I would end up doing. He was so alone. So young. So vulnerable. A year or two ago, I might not even have noticed. Cabin boys being that young was just how things were done in navies all over the world. But now? Now that I was about to become a mother? To have a child of my own?

I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't send the boy off into such a harsh life. No little boy should—

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted as Liam's posture stiffened. "So...it's finally time, is it?"

"Yes." I nodded. It was time for this little boy to get a real home. A place where he could grow up in play and—

"All right! What do I have to do for you to keep your mouth shut?"

My thoughts screeched to a halt.

Huh?

"What do you want?" he demanded. "Money? Are you trying to blackmail me, you fat bastard?"

This...wasn't going the way I thought it would. So I decided to articulate my current thought process.

"Huh?"

"Don't play stupid!" Fuming, the little firecracker stabbed an accusing finger at me. "I heard the parrot!"

"Huh?"

"I heard it all! 'Girl in disguise'! Ha! It was repeating you, wasn't it? You obviously saw through me! You...you know about it!"

"Err...?"

Lifting his chin, the little boy sent me a defiant glare. I, for my part, sent him a confused gawk, which only seemed to aggravate him further.

"You want to hear me say it? All right! I admit it! I am a girl! Satisfied now? I'm a girl! Female! Without bollocks! So what? Why should it be only men who can go sailing and have adventures and—"

"Um..."

"—don't care what you threaten me with! I don't care about that nonsense superstition saying women are bad luck on ships! I won't give up on my dream! I will become the Queen of Pirates and—"

"Err..."

"—don't think for a moment that I'd buckle under your authority just because you are a man! If you try to throw me off the ship, you bloody macho, I'll—"

"Wait just a minute, I don't—"

"Shut up!" Stomping his foot, he...no, she marched up to me and stabbed a finger into my face. "Shut up, you bloody chauvinist! I won't let you trample on my dreams! Send me back to the others at once! No matter what you do or say, I'm gonna be the Queen of Pirates!"

I opened my mouth—then shut it again. I opened it once more, desperately looking for any fitting response—and, not finding any, closed it for the final time. Looking left and right, I desperately searched for a way to escape this situation. Instead, I only found Mr Rikkard Ambrose, watching me from a distance. His lips were most definitely not twitching in amusement. No, not at all.

"Don't!" I hissed. "Don't you dare!"

"I don't know what you could possibly mean, Mr Linton."

"Don't you dare laugh!"

"Me? Laugh?" he cocked his head. "I would never do such a thing."

My eyes narrowed. "No. You wouldn't. You'll stay perfectly calm and composed, while somehow still managing to make it seem like you're laughing your arse off inside!"

"Indeed?"

"How about some help?" I demanded, keeping my voice low so the little girl who was still ranting at me wouldn't hear.

"Help?" He cocked his head just half an inch or so farther. "How could I? Far be it from me to crush a young girl's dreams. Unlike some people, I am not such a chauvinist as to stand in the way of an independent girl who wants to forge her own path in the world."

If looks could kill, Mr Rikkard Ambrose would already be a bloody smear on the deck. Unfortunately, I had not yet managed to acquire that particular ability. Something I would have to remedy soon. Especially considering the way I was shoved aside a moment later.

"Really?" With stars in her eyes, the girl brushed past me, gazing adoringly up at my soon-to-be-deceased husband. "You'd really help me fulfil my dream? You'd send me back to the pirate fleet? Can I go now, please, please, please? We may still be able to catch up to them! Please!"

Mr Ambrose opened his mouth.

My foot moved on instinct. In a blink, it came down on my dear husband's toes, squashing them to the deck. "Don't you dare say yes!" I hissed out of the corner of my mouth, low enough for only him to hear. "Don't you dare!"

Mr Ambrose closed his mouth again and, deciding to follow tradition, stuck with his preferred answer for all questions: silence. That would have been the end of the matter—except, the little girl had apparently sharper ears than I had thought.

"You...!" Fury burning in her eyes, the fuming girl turned towards me. "How dare you? You don't have any right to tell me what to do, you male chauvinist pig!"

From the direction of Mr Ambrose came a muffled choking noise that was very much not a laugh. Sending him a glare that would have impressed Medusa herself, I refocused on the little girl and plastered a smile on my face.

"Ehem...well now, I think there might be a slight misunderstanding here..."

"Misunderstanding my smelly sailor's arse! Just you wait, you macho bastard! I'll—"

Somehow, I think you can imagine how things went from there. It took me roughly half an hour to convince the bloody girl that I wasn't a chauvinist son of a bachelor intent on crushing her dreams of independence. As for convincing her that, maybe, becoming the Queen of Pirates at ten years old might not be the best possible career choice, that took me approximately...

No, scratch that. I had no chance of ever convincing her of that. Not that this meant I was going to stop trying. As for Mr Ambrose...he watched the whole proceedings from a safe distance, a neutral expression on his face that didn't fool me for a second.

"Well, Mrs Ambrose?" he enquired solicitously. "How go your efforts to protect innocent girls from the ravages of pirate life by trampling on their lifelong dreams?"

I threw him a dark look. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that statement."

Ha! He was definitely enjoying this.

Just you wait! Just you wait till it's diaper changing time! I'll be sure to be "conveniently" absent from home, and just in case you decide to delegate, I'll take Karim with me.

His eyes softening ever so slightly, Mr Rikkard Ambrose reached out to cup my cheek. "Besides..." He glanced over at the little girl. "Whether or not I enjoy this is irrelevant, is it not? You are going to do it either way." I felt his thumb gently caress my face. "You will make an adequate mother."

Warmth surged inside my heart.

All right...maybe I won't be absent on diaper day. Maybe we'll do it together.

"Oy!" a young girl's voice came from somewhere. But I couldn't really bring myself to care from where exactly. I was far too busy staring into my husband's beautiful sea-coloured eyes.

"Oy, you too! Why are you ignoring me? Why the heck are you staring at each other like that? It looks...icky. You can't seriously be planning to—"

Leaning towards me, Mr Rikkard Ambrose pinned me to the spot with his gaze. I could feel his breath on my cheek and could see the need glittering in his deep, dark, fathomless eyes as his lips approached mine and—

"—ewww! That's gross! I'm outta here!"

A moment or two later, I blinked, freeing myself from my husband's mesmerising gaze, and looked around. "Where did Liam or whatever her name is go?"

"No idea." He shrugged.

"Well..." A shudder went through my frame as I had a brief flashback of a little living tornado of a girl tearing into me. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to let the girl calm down a little."

"Definitely."

"It's for her own good."

"Absolutely."

"I'm glad you agree, Sir."

"Of course I do." He gave me a supportive nod. "It's definitely not because you're scared of a little girl."

"Right, I—oy! What did you just say?"

"Me?" He cocked his head as innocently as a freshly-printed bank note. "I said we should probably depart. We don't want that little girl to sneak off the ship, do we?"

"Hm...no." I sent him a last suspicious look. "We definitely don't want that."

"Well, then, Mrs Ambrose..."

He extended his arm to me. Taking it, I fell in step beside him, and the two of us moved towards the prow, looking out over the ocean.

"Everything ready?" my husband demanded.

"Anchor aweigh!" a sailor shouted from the other end of the vessel.

"Everything is ready, Sahib," Karim announced from behind us. "Should we depart?"

In answer, Mr Ambrose merely inclined his head. A moment later, Karim shouted commands to the crew. The sails unfurled, and the Croesus jolted forward, slowly gathering speed as it moved out onto the ocean.

So...it was finally time, was it?

Pirates taken care of?

Check.

Karim found?

Check.

Straw man in custody?

Check.

Now only one thing remained.

They tried to hurt my husband. To hurt my child.

Glancing up at Mr Rikkard Ambrose, I met his eyes.

"Mr Ambrose?"

"Yes, Mrs Ambrose?"

"It's time for revenge, isn't it?"

"Indeed."

Never had that single word sounded so sweet.

Turning back to gaze out over the ocean, I smiled at the sunrise.

Soon, we'll be back in Britain, in our home territory, untouchable and with an army of silent, plain-clothed men at our beck and call. And Patsy and Adaira. May God have mercy on our enemies, because my child's future godmothers certainly won't.

As I felt my husband's arm slide around my waist, I felt certain that, from now on, everything would be all right with the world.

Although, as we sailed out onto the ocean, I couldn't help feeling I had forgotten something...

Oh well. I shrugged. It can't really be anything that important, right?



-------------------------------------------

Today, I only have a glossary for you:

Croesus—a king of ancient Lydia, renowned for his fabled wealth.



Medusa—a mythical figure of ancient Greece, who was supposed to be able to turn people into stone with one look.