I woke up at 3 in the afternoon after a restless night and looked at the black box that carried his gold Rolex. I don't know how I feel.

One minute he barged into my house with unknown men threatening me. The next he makes insane donations and offers dinner and for me to crush his Rolex.

God.

Guilty consciences. So powerful.

I have a heart. I can be very kind and understanding and god I really was. But I could be one cold bitch. He gives me mixed feelings.

I was debating throwing it in the garbage disposal or giving it back to him.

If I put it in the garbage disposal what does that mean?

Well I get to destroy an expensive luxury. It won't bring me happiness. I'll fulfill the purpose.

If I give it back it him what does that mean?

He may be kinder understanding I didn't want to ruin it. He may be happy he gets to keep it although he probably has plenty more. I show him I have a small amount of faith in this certain situation.

I think giving it back will be good. Yea. I'll be the bigger person.

Bad bitch things.

I sat on my sofa and stared at my laptop screen switching cameras.

I had access to all cameras. Even the ones that belonged to Killian Creed himself.

I accidentally saw his office one and he was pounding a bitch and I was literally about to puke.

I closed my laptop and reopened it quickly pressing x on the tab. Fucking dog.

I put on YouTube and listened to music while I did some push-ups and crunches. I did stuff for my ass and hips and all that. It took up most of my time I had no TV or money to afford any extras like Netflix or anything. I watched YouTube occasionally but not often as it wasn't something I could find interesting.

I was more of a work out and read typa girl. I've had my nose shoved into books since I was a child. The only fictional realm that didn't involve my own traumas. It soothed my sleepy delusions.

I can go days without sleeping. Of course I'd get tired eventually but I just can't sleep. It's worse that it used to be. Paranoia tends to get the best of you when you're alone all the time.

I looked at the laptop clock seeing three hours had past and I gaped wondering what I had done. Did I work out or sit here?

I heard a knock and I opened my door seeing a large box labeling Lorena.

I dragged it in not seeing anyone and opening it seeing an envelope.

Lorena, There are two dresses for you, I believe both are your size, one is revealing and one is more modest as I don't know your taste yet. I left a curling wand as well as a straightener for you to use if you'd like. I've taken care of your bills. Killian.

Bastard.

I saw the dresses and holy shit. I felt like I was in debt for the rest of my life.

I preferred the skin one. The first was weird to me but still beautiful.



I put on the second and fuck was I hot.



My hair was amazing second day hair so I used the wand and curled it adding to the volume I was already blessed with.

I just worried about my scars. They covered my body like a giant "LOOK AT ME IM BROKEN" sign.

I looked at my laptop and saw it was nearly six. I had a pair of white heels that I stole from some bitch I stabbed in the eye a while back and used those.

I put on deodorant and left my apartment grabbing the Rolex but hiding it.

He stepped out of the car and looked amazing as he always had. Curse his genes.

His hair was black and his eyes were blacker than his soul. His stubble was always short and his jaw was sharp. He was broad and muscular at a height of 6'9 being the only man to exist making me feel small in size.

He put his hand through his messed up locks and looked at me basically gasping.

"Thank you very much for this." I said confidently.

"I'm very glad I bought it for you." He chuckled at his own nervousness.

Dog.

"May I have your left hand?" I asked knowing that's what wrist he wore his watch.

"Proposing so soon?" He teased in a deep voice.

"Shut up." I mumbled and put the Rolex on his wrist and putting it in place before adjusting his cuffs and releasing it.

"Wh-"

"I don't know. Let's go shall we?" I asked cutting off a question I knew would be dumb.

Why didn't you ruin it? Blah blah blah.

He opened the door for me and I got in the car.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly.

He got in and looked at me before observing my body and meeting my eyes again.

"Cliche but a friend of mine owns a diner that has soups, salads, and steaks. He is a big fan of you. Like huge. I figured if I brought the Lorena Vile there he'd give us free dinner because that shit is so expensive." He laughed and I smirked while watching his gorgeous smile. Such a douche bag.

"I'm fine with that." I nodded.

"Tell me about yourself." He said and began driving adjusting some of his rings once in a while.

"What is something you wanna know?" I asked. I trusted that we wouldn't be too touchy too quick.

"What do you prefer to be called?" He asked.

"Anything really. Nothing derogatory otherwise my heel will end up in your eye." I said and he nodded.

"I don't doubt that. Why are you so smart?" He asked.

What kind of question is that?

"Why are you known for being good looking?" I asked and he looked confused.

"Being smart isn't trained it's more given. I've always been clever. Mature. Being homeless taught me so much I never knew. My memory is photographic. I remember everything so if I'm given a math book and told to memorize certain equations I could recite them 5 years later. Most of my words or facts come from that. Or when I hack cameras I remember how I did it the first time so I can do it over and over." I said and he hummed seeing actually interested.

"That's actually really cool." He said and I nodded.

"I guess yea." I shrugged. I never believed it was that great. It came in handy but it wasn't necessary.

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked.

"I mean it definitely has its perks. But when you remember everything it makes life a lot harder. Especially when you can state certain memories like it happened an hour ago. I haven't experienced enough good to appreciate the bad. I'm hoping it'll change someday." I said and he nodded.

"I understand that. I definitely wouldn't enjoy that aspect. How about reading lies? Is that useful? I'm wondering for you not me. Swear on my Rolex." He joked and I laughed.

"Yea. I mean it's definitely something I'm so glad I have because I would have been fucked a long time ago. But knowing someone drugged your drink or you get wasted and used without consent then ask about what happened and they lie, those things really do harm. Sometimes I can't save myself and it's really scary. I don't like feeling fear." I said and I made an aversion from the big R word. It was triggering to me. I hated it and others flinched when I used it. When I accuse someone though I use it because that's just what it is at the end of the day.

"Fear is an awful feeling. I hate it but I love being it. I know it's so bad but it's like a shield. I feel like if I'm feared I don't get the chance to be scared." He said and I understood that statement.

"I have very dumb fears. I'm not scared of a lot of things and I find it bizarre." I said and he hummed.

"Like what?" He wondered.

"I'm not scared of being drugged, taken, raped, killed, tortured. This is very blunt and exposing but I've experienced it all multiple times. Nothing can be worse than it happening when I was innocent. I lack innocents now. If it happens I know what to expect. What I fear while it happens is flashbacks." I said and I felt weird someone knowing that. It was like I felt light but so heavy.

He parked and placed his hand on top of both my smaller ones. He moved and faced me looking me dead in the eyes and took a breath looking at me.

"I know I'm known for being a very heartless person. I'm not. I know you can relate to that. You are very strong. I don't say this often but I see a lot in you. I believe working with you will be a blessing for you and I and not only for my success. I believe if this keeps its positive trail that we could be friends. I don't have a lot of those." He chuckled and I looked at his hand on mine.

"To optimism." I said picking my hands up and offering a double high five.

"I've never high fived before." He said and gave me a high five.

"Neither have I. Progress already. Let's go meet the person feeding me." I said and got out of the car and he did too.