***Later on they had supper with Masai trying by all means to look jolly....she avoided Alphalette and his stares and she also ignored the fact that Mrs Reineke is cold towards her, that she’s not the mother in law she was when she dated Stevens....Nyiko and AJ are glued to each other...where ever Nyiko is AJ is there too and he’s just enjoying having a big brother....Gaza can pick up the tension between Alpha and Masai but he decided not to but his nose in their business....Tshimo is treated like an egg by the family more especially Mrs Reineke which makes Masai feel like she made a mistake by agreeing to come*** . . . ***Alphalette went to the second story balcony for some late fresh air and to think about what transpired earlier on with Masai.....He wondered if Gaza also saw what Masai saw or Masai is just being insecure nje....He didn’t want trouble so he needs to get hold of himself and not stress Masai cause this weekend is important to him, he decided he’s gonna ask Masai to marry him and he’s planning to do it in front of everyone....he loves her and he’s also in love with her and plus he needs to do right by her and his son.....Anyway he found Tshimologo there alone looking at the view and he cursed silently then she turned when she heard footsteps...he wanted to turn around and walk away but she has already seen him*** Alpha: aow short base ***she laughed *** Tshimo: stop it man ***they both laughed and he went and stood next to her*** Alpha: this spot has a nice view....whenever im home I always find myself here in the afternoon Tshimo: mmmmh its nice but the mosquitos aren’t friendly shem ***they both laughed*** Alpha: yeah ***he looked at her briefly*** Alpha: how has it been like to finally accept your gift and to also use it to help people ***she sighed*** Tshimo: it’s a journey shem.....and it wasn’t a nice one Alpha: mmmmh it’s never is ***she nodded agreeing with him*** Tshimo: mmmmh.... i remember feeling like I can’t do this, this is not me but when its time its time shem......i remember thinking about how I grew up especially when I was still in school and I used to have fainting episodes during class...I would always dream wearing a red skirt, white shirt and spheka se se yellow with a white cross at the back and a yellow head wrap.....I also suffered from shortness of breath and the doctors would say its panic attacks and they never stopped.....I had problems with my legs and it got worse and worse as time went by.....headaches, blurred visions and so on and so forth...the was so much going on with me that I even thought you know what I’ve had enough God should just take me.....I would also have seizures constantly and when my mom took me to the hospital thinking maybe I have epilepsy the tests would come out negative ***she sighed thinking about the old days*** Tshimo: it was just horrible im telling you.... I’ve been to different churches to seek help since doctors and their medicines couldn’t help me, I’ve seen different specialists and things got worse and worse instead of getting better Alpha: you never visited a traditional healer ***she shook her head no*** Tshimo: mama didn’t believe in sangomas....she was totally against it even when people she knew advised her to Alpha: why Tshimo: well back she just said its because she grew up in a Christian home and prayer was the only way....she always said Dingaka di evil and stuff but I found out the truth after her death that she loathed sangomas because apparently my father is one and he hurt her Alpha: damn Tshimo: yeah....apparently she defied her parents by dating a sangoma even though she came from a strict Christian home and she even got pregnant for him, she even moved out of her parents’ house to go stay with the man and when she was 7 months pregnant out of the blue the man broke up with her Alpha: damn Tshimo: she was pregnant with my late brother that time so she went back home heart broken and they accepted her back then my bro was born.....fast forward 5 years later they bumped into each other and I don’t know o mo foraforeditse a reng ( how he convinced her ).....she gave him another chance and she fell pregnant for him AGAIN and guess what.... Alpha: he ditched her again Tshimo: yep and months later I was born and she never heard from him again until she passed on when I was a first year student in Varsity Alpha: wow...so do you atleast know his name ***she sighed*** Tshimo: all I know is his name is Khazamola Khoza and he’s from Hazyview ***Alphalette swallowed hard*** . . . *** Masai in the kitchen helping the house help wash the dishes even though they told her to relax....She’s chatting with the house help asking her about the place...Her phone receives a message and its Hills....she telling her that they are still far and its already late so they’ll just drive straight to a bnb Mpande booked and she’ll see her tomorrow but she’ll call her when they arrive....she sighed and put her phone away and she continued helping the house help until they are done ...then she switches the kettle on and goes upstairs to their bedroom to go get her Chamomile teabag to make herself some so it helps her sleep better tonight not minding who is in the lounge....she can already feel a slight headache so she wants to have an early night since Hills said she’ll see her tomorrow cause its already late and they’ll just drive straight to the BNB Mpande booked....As she’s going back downstairs and she sees a balcony and she tells herself that she’ll have her tea there so she can think clearly about her situation alone....She tells herself that tomorrow she’ll observe things then she’ll make her decision after that*** Masai: you have a child to live for....no man is no longer worth you dying or ending up in hospital Masai ***she said to herself and she breathed out and continued to go to the kitchen....she saw that Gaza, Tshimo and Alphalette are not in the lounge with the parents and she thinks that maybe Tshimo went to the bedroom she’s using and the brothers are maybe outside or something so she goes upstairs to that balcony just to breathe and think*** . . . AT THE BALCONY Tshimo: even my brother didn’t remember him....mama never spoke of him, she loathed him...i remember my bother once got a beating when he asked mama who’s our father Alpha: what about your family members ....dont they know him ***she sighed*** Tshimo: they also just know his name.....he wasn’t allowed to enter my grandparents yard or to even pay damages for my brother so they met out there until she fell pregnant with me and he broke up with her and disappeared Alpha: that’s hectic Tshimo: yeah but even though she was naïve, the truth is she gave us the best upbringing any single mother could give to her kids....we never lacked anything....her siblings treated her and us bad because of my deadbeat father more over because he was a sangoma and they didn’t associate with such people so we automatically became hated too because we have his blood running through our veins ***she sighed*** Tshimo: anyway back to my calling..... ***she giggled *** Tshimo: my mother’s cousin who is now late....may her soul rest in peace.....is the one that took me to a traditional healer when she saw me suffering and this is after my mother had already passed on and they told me I have to get initiated....i was shattered Ntsako....i didn’t want to....i was in denial and I felt like I would be betraying my mother if I did.....it was one thing that I went to go and consult to a sangoma but now im told I have to go and thwasa ***she sighed*** Tshimo: so I ignored what I found out and one day I was ok and the next day I woke up and I couldn’t walk....my brother took me to the hospital and I stayed there for three weeks with tests being done on me and still they couldn’t tell me why I was feeling pain on my legs but I couldn’t walk....i couldn’t control them....they were painful but when they would poke me with needles I wouldn’t feel the needle poking me...it was just bizarre and confusing to doctors ***she sighed*** Tshimo: and kamo I was having some weird dreams....ne ele horror fela ( it was just horror)....my aunt came and visited me one day at the hospital and she was like you need to make a decision.....its either you accept to live like this for the rest of your life and probably die or you do what your ancestors want you to do....she was like its either you live like this for the rest of your life or you go and thwasa for a couple of months and come back home....... after a lot of crying and fighting with my inner self I knew I didn’t wanna live like that so I made a decision, I decided that this is it.....im gonna do this so I went and got initiated and as time went by one by one all the illnesses I had, being paralyzed and so forth went away...i got healed some how Alpha: wow...what a journey ***she giggled*** Tshimo: this life is not make sure im telling you ***they both laughed*** Tshimo: but im thankful to my late aunt for never giving up on me and for taking me to that sangoma....i learned a lot where I got initiated....we prayed there....we went to church on Sundays.....we read the bible and we also did phahla to our ancestors...i was taught that there’s only one God and that God created our ancestors too and we pray and worship God and we also acknowledges our ancestors who are our guardian Angels....and growing up I didn’t see it like that, I thought ancestors are demons Alpha: mmmh Tshimo: mmmmh I remember when I was getting initiated at my gobela’s place I used to ask myself...ok I used to think gore Badimo( ancestors) are evil spirits and demons cause when someone was in a trans mode they looked possessed and their voices would change along with their auras just like people we used to see in church when they were being exorcised but I asked myself....if so then why am I using their surname and the worst part is im even named after one of my ancestors ....and mama has passed on so does that mean she’s a demon too....so yah ***she shrugged her shoulders*** Alpha: spirituality is a topic that needs matured minds especially if you’re having a debate about it with someone who doesn’t believe in ancestors....its a touchy subject to others Tshimo: true...so wena how was your journey ***he sighed*** Alpha: well I grew up believing in ancestors and African spirituality and I knew one day I will go and thwasa but what I wasn’t aware of was that I didn’t have a choice of where I was gonna go and get initiated.......what I mean about that is my Gobela wasn’t on dry land..... Tshimo: what ***she asked with her eyes popped out*** Alpha: mmmmh.....one day i was home sleeping and the next day I woke up in a strange place with strange people, I even thought I was dead, the atmosphere was different.... the clothes they were wearing were different just everything was different so I thought I died in my sleep and im with my ancestors now....i remember crying so painfully cause I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to my family more especially my mother, uncle and brothers....and when I was told that I wasn’t dead and that im under water cause it was time for me to get initiated I remember fainting there and there and the rest is history I cant talk about Tshimo: yho....Modimo wa kgotso ***he nodded*** Tshimo: ooh my God....o serious Ntsako ***he chuckled*** Alpha: dead serious......you seem fascinated by that ***he asked smiling at her with a charming smile....he loved how cute she looks when she has a surprised look on her face*** Tshimo: dude I wanted to meet a sangoma that was initiated underwater Alpha: why Tshimo: I don’t know maybe because they are a special kind of beings ***he smiled looking at her....she looked innocent and cute with that smile on her face ‘he thought’*** Tshimo: so like are you allowed to talk about your experience while you were down there ***he shook his head no*** Tshimo: ahhh why not Alpha: its protocol...just like there are some things you cant talk about of where you got initiated Tshimo: yeah but eish its not fair...i cant even ask you if you were initiated by a snake or a mermaid ***he laughed*** Alpha: lets change the subject cause I feel like that cute face of yours will make me tell it all ***they both laughed*** Tshimo: its nice to have someone to talk to about spirituality without being judged or looked down on cause you believe and also acknowledge your Ancestors Alpha: yeah ***he sighed and faced her with a slight frown on his face....it made him look more handsome*** Alpha: are you happy with Gee....does he treat you good ***she smiled shyly and Alphalette swallowed hard*** Tshimo: yeah he’s good and treats me well....the thing is I don’t know what we are cause as embarrassing at it is for me to say....he’s married so im basically in love with a married man ***he kept quiet for a bit*** Alpha: yeah but don’t worry he will soon get divorced....its really over between them Tshimo: but still I feel like a side chick...eve now I feel like I shouldn’t be here....i feel like im being judged somehow cause he’s touchy touchy and im sure some have already noticed gore ba bajana ( this two are f*cking) ***Alphalette frowned*** Alpha: wait you two have already slept together ***she cleared her throat and put her hands on the balcony rails facing forward *** Tshimo: this view is nice....i can picture myself having my morning coffee here every morning Alpha: so you gonna ignore my question Tshimo: its an inappropriate one Alphalette ***he turned her to face him*** Alpha: why ***she raised an eyebrow*** Alpha: why Tshimo: because its not your business ***he just looked in her eyes and he could feel this electrifying intimate pull he has towards her in fact they both could feel the chemistry between them...she swallowed hard looking down but she didn’t move away from him*** Alpha: do you know how much I care about you Tshimologo ***she frowned looking up at him*** Alpha: I don’t know why but I feel like I should protect you and I hate the fact that Gee is still married and you have already fallen for him....what if he decides to fix his marriage where will that leave you huh ***she swallowed hard as her mind went to her now dead ex married boyfriend....even though she has fallen for Gaza knowing he’s married....it’s similar to what happened with her ex after she found out he’s a married man....she still stayed after she found out and it ended in tears.....she sighed then chuckled*** Tshimo: I always fall for married men ***Tears filled her eyes*** Tshimo: im stupid like that Alpha: hey hey...no you not....love is a beautiful thing Tshimo and now you have fallen for a good guy the problem is he’s still married....all im trying to say is the man that you see a future with should be yours all of him not bits and bits of him, all of him....he needs to know for him to own your heart he needs to be yours fully ***she sighed and he cupped her face as tears ran down her cheeks*** Alpha: some married woman pray dangerous prayers Tshimo and some ancestors protect their children and their children’s marriages....don’t get yourself caught up in those kind of battles cause the truth is you and Gee are in the wrong here....yes Marina messed up big time but you’re also messing up big time cause at the end of the day Gee is still married..... and remember o ngwana Badimo so you’re way too precious to associate yourself with such scandals ***he continued to wipe her tears off with his thumbs*** Alpha: I care about you a lot Tshimo....maybe its because we both have gifts so our connection is on a different level, a spiritual level so before you take another step sit Gee down and give him an ultimatum....and you need to get cleansed for the sexual act you conducted ***she swallowed hard and their eyes locked....they both could feel the pull....they both wanted to stop but they found themselves way closer than before and their lips inches from touching....they breathed heavily as the sexual tension intensified*** Tshimo: Alpha we shouldn’t.... ***Alphalette smashes his lips into hers and Tshimo finds herself kissing him back and they heard something like a glass or a cup fall to the floor and they quickly moved away from each other looking at the direction the sound came from and it was Masai standing there shaking looking at them with her eyes popped out*** Tshimo: ooh my God ***she said looking scared and she put both her hands on her mouth moving further away from Alphalette....as for Alphalette he put his hands together looking at Masai with a scared looked on his face*** Alpha: baby....mami... ***she just looked at them*** Alpha: its...its not what you think I swear....let me explain ***Tshimo nodded shaking....as for Masai she turned and walked away and Alphalette rushed after her leaving Tshimo alone*** . . . TO BE CONTINUED.... #TO-DARE-IS-TO-DO