I feel like I should leave. Yes, that's a good idea. But if I had the ability to stay on my feet, it would be much easier.

I slowly sank to the ground again while clinging to the wall.

So this was something new.

New and unpleasant. I do not like it.

What happened to me?

One moment I was fine, and then...then it happened.

I felt as if everything around me began to merge. The ground under my feet turned to gelatin, after which I just managed to get outside for fresh air.

I didn't expect Killian to follow me, and I certainly didn't expect him to try to help me.

He honestly looked a little scared. But only little.

"And you are?"

I jumped slightly when I heard a rough, male voice next to me.

The people in this villa are slowly digging my grave.

With my hand on my heart, I shifted my gaze to the man who was standing only a few meters away from me on the stone path. He must have been in the garden already, because he certainly didn't go through the door. I would notice that.

When I focused my gaze on his face, I immediately knew who he was.

I've seen this short hair and arm tattoos before. He was Killian's other brother that I asked about because of that picture he was in.

What I didn't see in that photo was the slight stubble that grew on him over time. He has that piercing look just like Killian.

How is it possible that all four have the same look?

"Your brother is inside." I nodded at the door behind which Killian went. Right now I need him to leave me alone. All I need is Odin, who lay down at my feet and soothed me like no other.

"That doesn't answer my question."

I can see that he also has a nice side like Killian. Guess that runs in the family.

"Eris." Now leave me alone. Well thank you.

"Oh, you're the one who pulled the gun on Finn. Kai." He nodded his head and crossed his arms over his chest and the corner of his mouth turned up.

"And you don't look upset. I frowned.

"And why should I?" He came closer to me and sat next to me, which Odin didn't like very much. "He wasn't hurt. If he was, we'd be having a completely different conversation."

"Good to know." I laughed.

"What are you doing out here anyway?"

"I'm resting." That is partially true.

"Killian can be...too much sometimes."

"Tell me about it." Before I could say anything else, the door opened again and Killian was standing there with a glass of water.

"Here you are." Kai stood up and walked over to him while looking at us in confusion. "I got in touch with Keller and set up a meeting for next week. Just wanted to let you know and you could also join if you have time."

"We'll take it up later." He walked past him and handed me a glass of water.

I examined it carefully to make sure that there was nothing in the water. But it looks cool.

"See you later." I heard Kai, but I couldn't see him anymore. He disappeared behind the door.

"Thanks." I handed the already empty glass back to Killian.

"Do you have them often?"

"Do I have what often?" I swear if he says panic attack, I'll smash that glass over his head.

"You know what I'm talking about." He didn't say it directly, but he still deserved a glass in the face.

"I'm fine." I stood up, which was no longer as difficult as before, and tried to walk past him. But Killian stopped me by standing in front of me.

"I won't risk you going somewhere and collapsing."

"Are you firing me?" I frowned.

"I'll give you fifty percent of what you should have gotten. You can use it to pay for some medicine and a doctor."

"You are actually serious." I wondered. "I can do it." I was looking directly into his eyes, as he was looking directly into mine. "I signed a contract, remember? I'll finish my work and you'll pay me the full amount."

"I won't risk it."

"Too bad." I crossed my arms over my breasts. "I'm fine. I'll make it."

Why didn't I just take the forty thousand and leave? Oh, because I want to prove to myself that I'm fine. And I'm fine. Better than ever. There is nothing wrong with me.

"You won't give up, will you?"

"Not a chance." I smiled at him winningly.

"Fine." He crossed his arms. "But," of course there's a but "twice a week, the whole time we're working together, you'll be seeing a therapist."

"No way. I told you I was fine. I was just upset...."

"You will go or our deal is over.."

He has me trapped. He knows I want to prove something. That I want to prove that I can do it.

"Once a week." I have better things to do than be locked up with a therapist for hours.

"Twice and I'll pick him."

"You won't change your mind even if I argue, will you?"

"Not a chance." He smiled triumphantly. "And you're also going back to Luna for today. You need some rest."

It would be pointless to argue with him. He would win.

But only today. And that's only because I'm not feeling the best. Otherwise, I would win.

"Only this time, Killy." I slipped past him.

*****

This is ridiculous.

Before I even got to Luna, Killian had already sent me the therapist's address and number. There was also a message saying that he would make sure I showed up for the sessions.

It was a bad idea. Probably as bad as getting into his car weeks ago.

Anything involving him is a bad idea. What could it be, right?



Before I could even send Eris a message, Kai walked into my office. I sent it while he approached me and put the phone on the table. I started giving him my full attention.

"Eris, huh?" He sat across from me with a smile.

I looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"I think you know."

"I don't." What is he talking about? Is he drunk?

"You brought her water."

When he finished that sentence, I grabbed my head. I sent him to LA for three days and he came back totally out of it. Awesome.

"Yes, I brought her water, what about that?"

"The last time Sebastian asked you to bring him water, you kicked his chair and chased him out to bring it himself. When Finn asked you, you didn't bring it either."

"I'm beyond thrilled at how insightful you are about who I bring water to and who I don't. It's admirable, Kai."

"You know what I mean."

"Not really, but tell me. I want to hear it." I leaned my elbows on the table and listened carefully to what nonsense came out of his mouth.

"You like her."

And that was the moment I lost all confidence that my brother was mentally okay. I should probably send him to a therapist too. It would benefit him.

"When was the last time you slept?" He looked at me confused. "You're turning crazy."

"Oh come on." He snorted. "I have eyes."

"Apparently not." I leaned back in my chair. "Eris is the last person I would have anything to do with. Trust me."

"Why?"

"Because." I shrugged. "I don't have time for this."

"Then you make some. It can always be done."

"How would you know, huh? You don't have anyone. Finn as well. And as for Sebastian, we both know he can't keep anyone for more than three days. So I'd say it's in our family's blood."

"What about Val?"

"She is different."

"How is she different? Just because she's a woman? That's not a good enough reason, Killian."

"She doesn't live like us. That's reason enough."

"But Eris lives like us, doesn't she?"

"Why do you keep mentioning her? If you like her, help yourself." I heard my cell phone ring. More precisely, that I received a text message. "But I won't clean the mess she or you will make."

"We both know you'd do it. You always do. You've been taking care of us since you were little. It has always been like that, don't lie to yourself."

"Well you didn't give me much of a choice now, did you? What can I do?" I reached for my phone and checked the text.

Roughly marked was the name Eris.

yes mom ;)

I snorted but couldn't hold back a smile.

"Let me guess. Eris."

"Fuck you." I put the phone back, no longer smiling. "Did you come here to interrogate me? Don't you have something better to do?"

"I do. And so do you. Val will be calling in a moment. Will you come this time?"

"I'll be there in a minute." A smile appeared on his face.

But before he left, he stopped at the door. "I have one more question."

"What is it now?" I breathed heavily.

"Is it really because you don't have time?"

"What is?"

"Why don't you have anyone. It's because you don't have time or there's another reason."

I could write a whole book on why having someone is a bad idea. In addition to being time-consuming, having someone is also a distraction. And if I want to keep this family together, that's the last thing I can afford.

I had two girlfriends before I got to where I am. Even then it was complicated. I'll leave the dating to my siblings. If they are happy, I am too.

"I don't have enough time." I simply answered him. His facial expression changed into something I've probably never seen before.

"We're waiting in the living room." He said before closing the door behind him.

I checked the head of my security guard before joining them. I do it often now. One can never be sure.

"Am I dreaming or is that Killian?" I heard my little sister's laughter from the laptop that all three of my brothers were sitting in front of.

"Nice to see and hear you too Val." I laughed and stood next to Kai who was standing behind Finn leaning against the couch.

"So what's new with you?"

Seeing her smile meant everything to me. One by one, they started telling her what had happened in the last week. Apart from that incident.

Her long hair, which she has been growing for an eternity, was tied up in a high bun. A few strands of hair fell in her face. She had a beautiful figure, which she was proud of when she wanted to. She was currently wearing a large sweatshirt and sweatpants.

But she still looks beautiful like this. She always does.

"And you Killian?" I turned my attention to what she was saying.

"I'm afraid I have nothing new."

"Come on Killian." Kai nudged me into my shoulder. "What about Eris?"

"Eris?" I heard Val. "And who is that?" She asked curiously.

"Nobody." I crashed my elbow into Kai's ribs. What does he think he's doing?

"So no one huh?" She laughed. "That nobody sounds quite interesting."

"Kai has nothing better to do than make fun of you Val. Ignore him. What about you? How are you doing? Are you planning to visit us anytime soon?"

A job perfectly done. I avoided an explanation that would take at least two hours.

"Speaking of which." She looked at her hands. "I won't have the opportunity to come next month."

What, why and why not, was heard as soon as she finished it.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Me and Ryan have decided to live together and we've already picked out an apartment. We're moving in next month."

"Are you serious? That's amazing Val. We're happy for you. Right?" Kai elbowed me in the ribs.

"Yes of course." I tried to smile.

She is moving in with Ryan? When did that happen? I thought they were still in the getting to know each other phase.

"We're happy for you Val." Finn said.

"So you don't mind me not coming? I know I promised you, but sometimes things don't go as planned."

"Of course, we will be sad that you will not come, but don't worry about us, we will survive. But if you need help, contact us. We would like to finally meet him." Kai assured her.

"I don't think he's ready to meet you yet, but when he is, I'll bring him with me."

Val continued to talk to the others while I stuck to the fact that she was moving in with Ryan.

How could I not know about this? I was so engrossed in everything else that I didn't even realize how grown up my sister was.

Why do I feel like I've failed?

*****

Hope you enjoyed. <3