I slowly walked down the hall with Odin at my heels. I moved carefully so as not to accidentally drop something and wake someone up.

I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned all night. Maybe it's because of the different environment. Or by almost kissing Killian, not even twenty-four hours ago.

I don't know if it was good that Odin interrupted us or not. A part of me wants Odin not to be there at all. But my head tells me that he saved me. It would be a mistake that could not be undone. I would regret it. Right?

I only turned on a small light in the kitchen above the kitchen counter so as not to hurt my eyes with the sudden influx of light.

The only sound in the room came from Odin as his paws hit the floor.

I took dog pellets from the shelf and poured them into his bowl. I sat next to him on the cold floor and leaned my back against the counter.

"At least one of us is happy." I said when I noticed how he was eating and wagging his tail while doing so. "I wish I had your problems." I breathed out hard. "And now I'm talking to a dog." I cursed myself mentally. "But truly, you're the only one who listens to me. You may not understand me, but at least you listen."

Odin looked up at me in confusion, but went back to his bowl right away. I don't know if it was supposed to be a reassuring look, but he didn't look like that.

"I've been thinking about my life lately. I have a lot of time to do that because I don't sleep much. If I can't sleep, I think. And when I do, the nightmares eat me alive. It's so hard."

I felt as if something was pressing on my heart.

"For years I didn't have to deal with emotions or anything. It was easy. And now? I feel like everything is catching up with me. Everything I've been avoiding. It's killing me. I rarely forget it all. Mostly when I'm with Killian."

I tilted my head back and exhaled heavily.

"I'm talking to a dog." I repeated to myself. "My condition seems to be getting worse." I snorted. "But my condition would have to be better sometime." I felt the tears in my eyes, which were grinding to the surface.

Maybe this time I should let them fall. Then maybe I'll feel better. Is that so? Is this what normal people do? Do they cry until they feel better?

"I thought you were joking when you said we could meet here." I heard a rough voice from the door and my head immediately shot in that direction.

Leaning against the door frame, shirtless, was Killian.

"But if you want me to cook something, I'll disappoint you. It's too late." Because of the low light, I wasn't sure if he was smiling, but the tone of his voice made it seem like he was.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough for me to figure out you need company." He walked over to me, with me watching his every move, and sat down next to me. But we had a big enough distance between us to not touch. "I may not be the best candidate, but I'm the only one you'll catch at this hour."

"Looks like you'll have to do." I laughed quietly.

"Can't sleep?" I shook my head. "Me neither." He exhaled heavily. For a moment there was silence between us, only Odin, who was next to me, made sounds. "You're way too quiet. That doesn't sound like you. You always have something to say."

"Maybe it's too late." I shrugged my shoulders.

"I think you have something on your chest, but you don't want to get it out."

"I don't know what I want and what I don't. Feelings, emotions and everything else is so complicated." I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my head in them.

"They're as complicated as you want them to be." I turned my head to him confused.

"And that means?"

"I have no idea. That's just what I was told."

"Good to know."

"But I think it means you're overthinking everything. Maybe you should stop thinking for a while and do what you want."

"If I stop thinking something will kill me. No thank you." I turned my head back to my knees.

"And what if you don't? What if you're throwing away opportunities that will never come your way? What would you like to do, Lyssa?"

My breath got caught in my throat when I heard him say my name. It's been too long since I've heard that name come out of someone's mouth.

I slowly started to raise my head towards him and looked into his eyes. He was carefully examining my face.

Even though we weren't touching, he was close. Enough for me to lose myself in his eyes again. They're dangerous.

They're dangerous because all I want to do right now is kiss him. Lose myself in his presence and his touch.

"I want to forget." I whispered. "Make me forget." We slowly started getting closer, and I felt his breath on my face for the second time. His hand found itself on my cheek, which he ran his finger over.

The place where he touched me was burning. His touch was intense. And it meant a lot.

Our lips were millimeters apart until they weren't.

I felt his lips on mine. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me closer.

I surrendered to his lips. His kisses were soft and reassuring.

But when I let his tongue into my mouth, that changed. His kisses began to absorb me and made me forget everything. Even my own name.

No organization, killings, mafia, blood. Just the two of us.



Her lips were like a drug. I wanted to touch every bit of her body because I didn't mind the touch. On the contrary, I wanted it. I wanted nothing more in my life than this touch.

A moan escaped her mouth and my whole body wanted more. Hear it again because I am the reason this sweet sound came from her beautiful mouth.

Her hands appeared on my bare chest, and I've never been happier that I'm shirtless. Electricity ran through my body under the places where her hands were. And God knows I wanted more.

It had been a long time since someone had touched me like this, and that made her touch even more intense. I wanted her to touch every part of my body, because only she can.

Only she does things to me that I have never experienced before. And that makes me crazy.

Although it was clear that we both wanted to go further, our lips slowly parted.

We leaned our foreheads against each other and closed our eyes. Breathing fast, maybe regretting it later, but enjoying each other's presence in the moment.

I held her head with both hands while she still had hers on my chest.

"You were right when you said I don't know what you're capable of." I smiled remembering our first meeting. "Although this is probably not what you were talking about."

"Maybe it was." Even with my eyes closed, I knew she was smiling. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but touch you." I felt her start to take her hands away from me, but I stopped her. I grabbed her hands and placed them back on my chest.

"If I didn't want you to touch me, you'd know it."

She slowly started exploring my chest and stomach with her fingers. The lower she went, the more I wanted to kiss her again.

"I noticed you like going around shirtless."

"And yet you are the only one who has seen me like this. More than once too." The corners of my mouth started to lift, but we pulled away the moment Odin jumped on us and started licking my face. "Stop." I tried to get him off me. "Odin." I finally got him off me and he sat down next to us with his tongue sticking out.

I wiped his drool off my face, and that's when I noticed her holding back a laugh.

"Looks like he doesn't like you around me." I wiped the drool on my sweatpants.

"Are you sure about that? I'm pretty sure he doesn't like you around me." She called Odin to her, who immediately came to her and lay down at her feet.

"I thought we were friends." I looked at Odin in disappointment. "Traitor."

"Guess he's going crazy about me." She laughed.

"He's not the only one." I said quietly enough that she couldn't hear me.

*****

I thought she was avoiding me. The morning after we happened to meet in the kitchen, she was nowhere to be seen.

Luna told me that she stayed in her room all morning, which I found strange.

I stopped in front of her room even though I had other things to do. I need to talk to her. Not about our kiss, but about something else.

I knocked on her door and waited for her to be invited in, or to be yelled at to get out. I was prepared for both options.

But I wasn't prepared when she didn't answer.

Could she still sleep? No. After all, it will be lunch in a while.

I grabbed the doorknob and walked into her room only to find that she had headphones on so she couldn't hear me. I noticed papers scattered on the floor and also on the bed. Cups of coffee on the bedside table that have been drunk a long time ago.

As I approached her, she noticed my movement and looked up at me. A smile appeared on her lips and she immediately took off her headphones.

"Hi." She put the paper she was holding and the pencil on the bed. "You need something?"

"I...You weren't at breakfast."

"I'm not hungry, but thanks. Not that you're offering to bring it to me or anything." She spoke sentences one after the other. "You know what? I'm going to stop talking. Sorry. Lots of caffeine." She pointed at the cups.

"I noticed." I frowned. "Did you sleep at all?"

"Uhmm, no, but that's okay. I mean, I tried to. But then the nightmares came and the crazy feeling in my chest, so I decided to skip it." I didn't like the speed at which she was talking at all. "Your printer doesn't work either. I feel like it ran out of ink. I borrowed your laptop, I hope you don't mind." She got up from the bed and started picking up papers from the floor while muttering something under her breath.

"Are you feeling okay?" I walked closer to her, but it was as if she was completely oblivious to her surroundings.

Even if she drank I don't know how many cups of coffee, she wouldn't look like this. Caffeine only suppresses the feeling of tiredness. What is going on?

"Me? Sure. Of course. Totally cool. Pink. Amazing. Peachy." I noticed how the papers in her hand started to shake.

"Hey." I grabbed both of her hands and her papers fell back to the floor. She looked up at me and only now did I notice her eyes. She looked tired. Correction, she looked ruined. "You don't look good."

"What? No. I'm fine." I don't know if she was trying to convince me or herself.

"No, you're not. Look at yourself you're... when was the last time you had a good night's sleep?"

"What is today? Wednesday?" She was talking to herself. "Maybe a few months ago." She shrugged. "But today is the first time I've had so much caffeine. And I really feel better. It's like sleep. Well, not really, but...."

"Lyssa, stop it." I stopped her. "You need to sleep. Now."

"No. I'm fine. I need to finish this." She tried to get out of my hands, but I wouldn't let her.

"Forget the fucking papers. You need to get some sleep."

"But I am...."

"If you say you're fine one more time, you don't want to know what I'm going to do." I interrupted her and silenced her. "What do you expect to do when you're in this state? You're a wreck." It hurts me to see her like this. "You need to sleep. Please." I loosened my grip on her hands, hoping she wouldn't bend over for the papers again.

"Maybe for a few minutes."

"Yes, just for a few minutes." When she does fall asleep, it might be for more than a few minutes, I hope.

I walked over to the bed and collected everything that was on it. I put it on its side and shot the window to let in as little light as possible and make her sleep better. I stopped by the bed again and pulled back the duvet for her to lie down on.

She slowly walked over to me and lay down on the bed.

"Hold on." I covered her but reached for the hair band in her hair. I carefully took it off and put it on the bedside table. "It'll be better this way."

"Thank you." She said with her eyes closed already.

"Of course."

I collected all the cups from the table and tried to be as quiet as possible.

But before I could leave the room, she caught my hand as I passed by her bed.

"Can you stay?" Her eyes were tired, as if she was talking with the last of her strength.

I have a lot to do, if I sit here with her all day I would be hurting the business.

"Please."

At that moment, all thoughts flew out the window. "Of course I will." I put the cups back and sat next to her on the bed. She moved her legs a little to give me more space.

She buried her head in the pillow and pulled the duvet up to her ears while still holding my hand.

"What are you doing to me?" I whispered to myself.

*****

Hope you enjoyed. <3