Eleven months later...

"I need you to stop moving." I looked at Lucy in the mirror. "Or you'll look like the first time."

"No!" She screamed. "Sorry, I'll be sitting now." She bit her lip.

"Lucy." I warned her. "What were we talking about?" I raised an eyebrow as I grabbed a hair tie from the bed I was sitting on and Lucy was sitting on the floor in front of it.

"No lip biting, I know." She exhaled heavily.

"Exactly." I laughed. "You're done." I kissed the top of her head and lifted her to her feet.

She immediately ran to the mirror and turned her head to see how her hair looked in two braids.

"Much better, dad." She jumped up to me and kissed me on the cheek. "Thank you." She smiled.

"Of course princess. Now let's go before we're late." I stood up from the bed and held out my hand for her to hold onto. That's what has been happening lately. She is growing too fast.

She stopped at the door to pet Odin and then we finally made it out of her room.

"Hey Uncle Kai!" She waved at my brother as we passed him while headed for the front door.

"And where are you two going?" He got up from the couch and walked over to us, placing his hand on Lucy's head and trying to ruffle her hair, which she didn't like.

"No Uncle Kai. You'll ruin my braids." She said with a laugh and pinched his hand.

That's something she's been really enjoying doing lately. I don't know why, and I don't even try to understand.

"We're going to see Collin." I explained to him and looked at my watch. "And we're already late, so we have to go. Come on, Lucy, let's go."

She waved to Kai and we started walking away from the house.

I put Lucy in the back seat and got into the car myself. I started up the engine and pulled out of the driveway. We headed straight into town, and in less than half an hour we were at Collin's door.

"Look who decided to show up." He bent down to Lucy and held out his hand to her and then they greeted each other with a secret handshake that featured Lucy jumping and spinning.

"She couldn't wait for you." I laughed.

"And what did you expect? Kids love me. Why don't you come in, Lucy?" He moved out of her way to let her pass and she quickly slipped past him. "Are you staying? Again?" He raised an eyebrow when he saw that I wanted to sit in the waiting room.

"Why not? I'm able to work from here."

"I'm aware of that, but you could still go to the office here in town. She'll be fine here. I'll call you when we're done."

"I don't mind staying." I shrugged. "Don't keep her waiting." I nodded to him and went to sit down.

"And I wondered who she got her stubbornness from." He laughed and closed the door behind him.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started catching up on emails and messages, which is what I do most of the time sitting here.

I brought Lucy here almost a year ago, right after...

After that.

And since then, I've been taking her here once a week. I think it helps her a lot. She deals with everything that troubles her here. It's good for her.

And it's obvious she likes Collin, so I don't have to force her here.

After a while, Hannah, Collin's secretary, placed a cup of coffee in front of me, for which I thanked her and went back to work.

I didn't even realize how quickly the hour went by.

I sent Lucy to Hannah while I wanted to talk to Collin.

"Hannah, look at my hair!" She ran towards her while holding both braids in her hands.

"So how is she doing?" I stood next to Collin.

"After all she's been through? Pretty good. She misses Lyssa, but..." He stopped and looked at me. "Sorry."

"No. That's fine." I swallowed hard. "You can say her name." Even if it hurts.

"She misses her, but she has you, and that's good. But I'd still like her to stop by once in a while. It doesn't have to be every week, but maybe every two. She's getting better."

"So she's happy?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Do you ever look at her?" He laughed. "Yes, she is happy."

"That's good." I smiled and looked at Lucy by Hannah.

"And how about you?"

"What about me?" I glared at him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked cautiously. "You know I'd like to talk to you. Not about Lucy, but about you and..."

"That's not necessary. I'm fine." Liar, it echoed in my head. "But thank you."

"Sure thing." He offered me his hand which I accepted. "Hannah will text you when the next session with Lucy will be. Until then, hang in there."

"Nice to see you again."

"You too."

"Come on Lucy." I walked up to her and waited until she jumped up to me and grabbed my hand. "How did you like it today?" I asked her as we walked out of the building.

"It was awesome! Collin showed me how to put together a paper boat, I can show you when we get home." She said excitedly.

"And you can teach me too?"

"Yes! We can also write something on it."

"That's a wonderful idea." I laughed. "What color will the boat be?"

"Purple!" Of course she wants it to be purple.

*****

On the way back we stopped for food, because Lucy was hungry. But I think she was trying to avoid studying.

I didn't like the idea that Lucy would study in a public school, so she is homeschooled. We have already had four female teachers take turns.

Lucy didn't like any of them. I don't know why. Maybe because she doesn't like to study.

But it can't be avoided. It's the one thing even dog eyes can't help her with.

I brought Lucy into the living room where the new teacher, Emery Kelly, was already waiting. She was a little younger than the others, but I had no other choice. I haven't found anyone else so hastily.

I introduced them and left them, including Mattias, in the living room while I went to the study.

I locked myself in there and didn't come out until the evening when I went to put Lucy to bed.

"So what do you say about Emery?" I asked as I covered her.

Lucy just shrugged and rubbed her tired eyes before yawning.

"I'll let you sleep." I bent down and kissed her forehead. "Good night princess."

"Night, Daddy."

I pulled away from her and turned on the small lamp on her bedside table before turning off the main one and walking out of her room.

It was only eight o'clock, so I got back to study for the next few hours.

I was interrupted by a knock on the door. I looked up from my laptop and noticed Luna standing in the doorway. "Am I interrupting?"

"Welcome back." I laughed. "I thought you'd go straight to sleep."

"That was my plan, but then I saw you weren't asleep yet. Are you working or can't sleep?"

"I've slept enough, I have a lot of energy. So why not use it." I scanned the desk cluttered with papers.

"Really? How many hours did you sleep?" She came closer.

"You know." I shrugged. "Enough. So what did you find out?" I quickly changed the subject, which she didn't like very much, but she let it go.

"Nothing we don't already know." She exhaled heavily. "Two more bodies turned up but it was difficult to identify them."

"But it was our serial killer?"

"One hundred percent. It was precision work, just like the others."

"Do we already know what connects them? It can't be a coincidence."

A few months ago, a new killer appeared on the scene. They leave behind unidentifiable bodies all over the world. After all, they are mostly women, which makes us think that it's some kind of psychopath who enjoys suffering women.

Normally we wouldn't be interested in such things, but one of the bodies that was identified was familiar to me. He was a Swede I met a few years ago and did some business with.

Since then, we began to be wary of this killer.

Luna offered to help as she was trying to pass the time while Theo was gone. He and Sebastian left for Seattle about a month ago.

"There's nothing. Well, at least I didn't find anything. I'll keep trying, but I make no promises. Whoever it is, they know how to be careful not to leave any traces behind."

"Let's leave it at that for today. You should go to sleep, you've had a long day."

"That may be true but....how are you holding up Killian?"

Not this again.

"Fine." Liar.

"You say that often."

"Because it's true." Liar.

"It's okay if you miss her, you know?"

"I won't talk to you about this again Luna. Leave it alone." I breathed heavily.

"It's been almost a year, Killian. How long are you going to keep avoiding this?"

"I'm not avoiding anything." I said between my teeth.

"That pretense of yours may apply to others, but not to me. You don't talk about her, but you should. It will help you get over..."

"Over what?" I interrupted her. "There is nothing for me to get over."

"You don't even believe it yourself."

"I don't know what you want from me, Luna."

"What I want from you? To move on. She's gone, Killian. And she's not coming back. Even though everyone wishes she was here. Sooner or later you're going to have to accept it and talk about it or it's going to kill you."

"There's nothing for me to accept. Good night Luna."

She exhaled heavily and whispered, "I miss her too. But you have to let her go." She turned and walked out the door, closing it behind her.

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply to calm myself and stop the tears that wanted to come to the surface.

I moved away from the table and opened the drawer on the left side. I took the phone from him and turned on the recording, for about the thousandth time.

"Hi Killy. It's me Lyssa. Which you probably know." I heard her voice and couldn't help but let the tears flow. "You probably hate me. And I don't blame you. I would probably hate you too."

I listened to her say goodbye to me and hated every second of it.

I looked at my wrist, at a piece of blue and white cloth.

"I love you. I love you, and I don't even know when it happened..."

Her words were like a knife to the heart.

I love you, she says.

She talks about how much she loves me and how I changed her life, but it's not fair.

I don't have that option.

I never told her I loved her.

She was dying and she never heard me say it.

"I fucking love you Killian James Acker." She said before the message cut off.

"I love you." I whispered. "I love you Lyssa."

Ten months ago...

"I left Lucy with Theo today." Luna entered the living room. "I came to ask if you needed help with something. Anything."

"No." I said, turning my back to her, watching the driveway through the window.

"Alright, then I need your help." Her voice broke. "It's been almost a month and I need to talk to someone."

"Not with me." I was trying to hold myself together.

"I miss her."

"Luna, please..."

"That's why you're always standing there, right? You miss her and you're waiting for her to come back." I could hear in her voice that she was having a hard time talking. "Killian, it's okay." I saw in the reflection that she had come closer.

"I can't." Tears streamed down my face and I fell to my knees, unable to stand on my own two feet.

"Hey, hey, hey." I felt hands around me. "It's okay."

"She can't be gone." I sobbed and more tears fell from my eyes. "She can't." The pain in my voice was audible.

"It's okay." She hugged me tightly. "Everything's gonna be alright."

If that's true, then why don't I feel that way?

*****

I hate myself for parts like this, because here I am bawling my eyes out like the two of them ⬆️⬆️.

I probably have myself to blame for that :/

I should write more happy books I guess.