Cielos POV.

"Wake up"

"Cielo"

"Hello??"

I opened my eyes still submerged into this warm body of water.

"You look really pale, drink some of this" she handed me a glass of cold water.

I drank the whole thing in one sitting. I am dehydrated.

"Are you ready to get out?" She asked. She was sitting beside me on a chair this whole time..

I nodded my head and got up but instantly felt dizzy again and the pain came back to me.

"Do you have any stronger pain meds?" I asked.

"Nah all I got is Tylenol. Ion want you taking the other shit I got"

I just nodded my head and got up.

"Here" she wrapped me in a towel and carried me to the bed. Am I really that light? I guess I lost a lot of weight the last couple days. I still haven't had time to recover from when I was sick.

*cough cough*

"Where's my clothes?" I asked.

"Here" she put the duffel on the bed and I got out my hoodie and some boxers with some soft sweats.

"Can you not look at me while I change" I said.

She walked out the room and I got dressed as quickly as I could, wincing in pain along the way.

I got into the bed and pulled the cover over me.

*sigh*

What's gonna happen now??

"Are you tired?" She came back into the room.

"Yeah" I said.

"Alright" she got in bed with me.

She attempted to wrap her arms around me but I winced in my pain from where she kicked me.

She lifted up my shirt under the cover and softly rubbed her hand over it.

"I'm sorry my pretty girl" she kissed my head and I flinched. "I didn't mean to hurt you"

I didn't say anything. There was nothing to say really.

"Can I be real about something with you" she said.

"Hmm"

"I relapsed after I left that day at your house" she said.

"I've been going to meetings, I went and talked to my sponsor today after what I did. Im not in my right mind right now and I want you to know it's not your fault even if I told you it was. Im sorry for putting you in danger." She said.

"Are you on drugs right now?" I asked.

"No but I was off one when I tweaked out on you. I didn't realize how much I did" she started to cry.

"I feel like I lost you" she sobbed as she pushed herself closer to me.

"That hurts" I winced.

"Can you not put so much pressure on me, everything hurts" I said staying still.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" she cried on my shoulder.

Again I said nothing. It's not okay. And I don't forgive her. She even forced me back here after everything she did. I should hate her.

"I hope I didn't cause you too much trauma. I hope you won't think of this version when you think of me." She sobbed.

*sigh*

I'll never forget this. She definitely scarred me for the rest of my life.

"If I was a fem would you have treated me better?" I asked.

"No cielo. I love you. I'm sorry I said those things"

"Why did you say no one will ever love me?" I started to tear up.

"You called me a slut and told me I'll never be happy with anyone else" *sniff* "Wh- why did you s-say that?" I wiped my tears.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry" she said. "You're beautiful, you're not any of those things" she kissed my shoulder.

"I hate myself" I said. "I don't wanna be here anymore" *sniff*

"Don't say those things" she said.

I didn't say anything anymore. Instead, I rocked myself to sleep how my mom did when I was a little kid even though my body ached so bad.

I could hear Nik's sobs behind me but I honestly didn't care.

She shouldn't be the one crying.