Thea was sitting in her bedroom, trying to go to sleep. It was still a little early for bed, only just past nine, but after spending so many days without proper sleep, she was hoping to catch up on at least some of it.

Unfortunately, her mind thought otherwise... there was just way too much on her mind.

In addition to that, the fact that her brother was able to so easily figure out her feelings for Niall... it made her nervous. He wasn't home yet, but she knew that the second he did come home, he'd want to discuss it further. He'd want to talk some sense into her... which of course, was more of a reason for her to try to sleep. He couldn't confront her if she was asleep.

Nevertheless, no matter how she tried, she couldn't get herself to sleep. Instead, her mind wandered to Aaryan, and even Luana and Milo and Rue... and of course, Niall.

It was Niall that she thought of the most, mostly because now that she cooled down a little, she accepted that her outburst wasn't entirely reasonable. She also kept remembering the look on his face as she accused him of lying to her. For some reason... he looked stricken. Not angry or annoyed or dismissive. Her words had actually upset him, and whether she was right or wrong, that made her feel bad.

And now she may have ruined everything.

She quit her job.

She left her new friends behind.

And Rue... she just abandoned Rue. Sure, she meant what she said about trying to find her own way to help him, but what could she really do? There was very little she could do without that team. It felt almost crippling.

As she stared at the wall, frowning and holding back tears, she suddenly heard the sound of clattering against her window.

Her body shot up and turned.

Of course she knew who it was. It was Aaryan.

He had followed her all the way here?

At first, she thought to ignore him, lying back down with her back to the window, but when she heard the clattering again, she remembered that the last time she had heard this, he had proceeded to climb up the side of her home and in through her window.

That was the last thing she needed right now.

She climbed out of bed, pulling a robe over her shoulders and night dress, before walking to the window. When she reached it, she saw him, down in the yard to the right of her parents house. He was wearing a coat to protect him from the cold but that was it, no gloves, no hat, nothing else, and so she imagined he was freezing, standing out there on a cold Aburethian night. To make it worse, it was still snowing. Apparently it had been snowing nonstop the entire week, and his shoulders and head were covered in white.

After a moment of hesitation, she pulled the window open, wincing at the icy air that hit her as she did. "What?" she called, trying to sound as cold as the weather was.

He surprised her by throwing something.

She didn't know why, but she assumed it was a snowball, causing her to duck as it flew in over her head, but when she turned, she saw that it was a crumpled up piece of paper which hit the wall of her room before falling onto the floor and bouncing over to her feet.

When she picked it up, she opened it and read the messy, large handwriting.



Meet me at the park.



That was all it said.

Thea turned and looked back out the window, a look of disbelief on her face. Did he think she was stupid? However, when her eyes met his, he gave her a salute before stuffing his hands back into his pocket and walking off in the direction of the park.

She scoffed before crumpling up the paper again and tossing it straight into her rubbish bin. With that, she climbed back into bed and pulled her covers over her again.

Stupid Aaryan.

Did he really think she would come running after him in the freezing cold after what he'd done?

However, as she tossed and turned and realized quickly that she still could not sleep, her curiosity getting the best of her as she wondered what his explanation for everything could possibly be... she sat up, glowering at nothing.

She then changed her clothes, put on multiple layers of cardigans and socks before throwing on her coat and scarf and leaving her home, following his still relatively fresh footprints to the park that they had once spent so much time in as children.

The same park that they had shared their first and only kiss in when she was eleven.

The thought made her cheeks warm, though she forced the scowl to remain on her face.

With the lights of the streetlamps reflecting against the white of the heavy snow that blanketed Abureth, the streets were rather bright despite it being so late, and within moments of turning into the park, she could see Aaryan, sitting at a swing, staring at the dark, cloudy sky with sprinkles of white mixed into his black hair.

He heard her coming, seeing as the crunching of her boots into the snow was incredibly loud, though muffled, and when he spotted her, he stood, a look of surprise on his face.

Thea made sure to keep her frown obvious on her face as she hugged herself and approached him, stopping a short distance away from him.

"You came," he started.

"What do you want?" It surprised her to see that he actually did look rather nervous.

"To give you an explanation," he responded. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness–"

"Just spit it out then," she responded. "It's freezing cold and I haven't slept properly in what feels like weeks."

To that, Aaryan raised a brow, suddenly looking amused, and as she cursed herself for somehow still thinking that he looked so handsome despite how angry she was, her frown deepened as he spoke. "You seem to be a lot more like your brother than I thought you'd be."

"That's a compliment, as far as I'm concerned."

"I never meant it as an insult."

"Hurry up, Aaryan," Thea sighed, her frown finally fading though her scowl remained. "I don't have the time or patience for this."

Aaryan didn't speak up right away, but eventually let out a breath and took a few steps forward, approaching her.

She didn't like this, his closeness making her uncomfortable, especially when he was less than an arms length away from her and she now had to look up at him. However, she felt the need to stand her ground, to keep a hold of her scowl as she stared at him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I should have come to see you immediately. You deserved that respect."

"You expect to believe that you actually care about respecting me?" Thea asked with a scoff. "I stopped believing that when you decided we weren't friends anymore as soon as I started high school."

"You can't honestly think that, Thea," he responded, looking exasperated. "I've always loved and respected you."

"Which is why you decided to just stop talking to me?"

His expression suddenly changed, his lips pursing as he began to look a little embarrassed.

She continued. "Is it really respectful to leave your supposed childhood best friend behind just because you met some cooler, more popular kids? Is it really respectful to have locked yourself in your room every time my brother would bring me over when he visited your sister, feigning homework? We both know goddamn well you never did your homework," she said. "Oh, and it is definitely incredibly respectful to, after ignoring me for years, to climb into my room through my window, drop a bombshell on me and then disappear, leaving me to believe for about half a decade that you were dead and it was my fault for not being able to convince you to stay–"

"I never wanted you to feel that way."

"But I did, Aaryan," she responded. "I know your sister died... I never blamed you for the decisions you made... though I disagreed, I always understood what your intentions for leaving were. But at the very least you could have let me know you were okay. Even with how you acted you must have known that I still cared about you... I gave you a birthday card every year, I smiled at you any time we made eye contact in the hallways, I always tried to be friendly with you despite your decision to ignore me," her heart ached as she spoke, "you must have known... yet you decided to not only leave me behind with such a burden but also to continue to ignore me when I was once again right there! How could you possibly try to tell me that you love and respect me when this is how you act?"

"You have no idea..." he started, "you have no idea how much happened from the day I left until the day you joined Achlis–"

"I would have if you just told me."

"It's incredibly complicated–"

"You're the one who is making it complicated!"

"I was afraid to face you again!" He suddenly shouted, making Thea's eyes widen.

"What?" Her voice was a hiss. "Afraid to face me?"

He pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Why on earth would you be afraid to face me?" she asked, stepping closer to him, her scowl becoming more prominent. "When have I ever given you a reason to fear me?"

He swallowed back whatever was holding his tongue and then let out a breath. "You nearly died because of me, Thea."

Now her brows rose high onto her forward as she jerked her head back. "What?"

"I couldn't forgive myself for not being able to protect you."

Thea was dumbfounded. "What the hell are you talking about?" She combed through her memory, trying to think back to all the times in her life where she thought she was going to die... there were not many. The event in university was maybe the first time, but Aaryan was already long gone at that point. Then in the car with the General when she thought he was going to kill her but he was just offering her a job... her life was never at risk at that point. Then there was in Danyo, a situation which she put herself in on her own, Aaryan had no role in that.

What could he possibly be talking about?

He saw her confusion and suddenly his expression reflected a mix of nervousness and embarrassment. "The day of the shelling... we were supposed to walk home together. You tried to tell me that we should listen to the teachers and go straight home but I wanted us to go play some stupid game... so we got into an argument and I made you go home alone."

Thea's lips parted in surprise as she stared at the stupid boy standing in front of her. Despite the beard and the hair and the strong features that clearly indicated that he was now a man, she couldn't help herself from seeing him as the lanky, foolish little jerk of a boy who she had once had such a huge crush on.

"If Theus didn't see me on the field during his soccer practice... right before they were sending all the kids into the makeshift bunkers... if he didn't run after you himself... if he didn't throw you off the old bridge... you would have been killed... you wouldn't be here right now... I couldn't forgive myself for that. I still can't."

Thea felt her rage go from mid to maximum within a second as she stepped forward and grabbed the boy in front of her by his coat. "That's why you stopped talking to me?" Her cheeks were hot with anger as she proceeded to push him. "You're so stupid!"

He seemed baffled as he raised his arms to block her hands as she began whacking him, hard, with the palm of her hands. Of course, her hits were not painful whatsoever, seeing as she was Thea and he was wearing a relatively thick winter coat, but it was surprising nonetheless.

"You... stopped... talking... to... me... because... of... that?" She shouted between hits. "That's the... stupidest... thing I've... ever heard!"

Aaryan grabbed her arms. "I couldn't help it Thea... the thought that I nearly lost–"

"Oh, shut up!" she snapped. "You were a stupid preteen who was trying to act all high and mighty! It never even crossed my mind to blame you for that, not once, not ever!"

He let out a breath, suddenly looking exhausted.

"All you had to do was talk to me, Aaryan. Then and now, that is all you had to do," she yanked her arms away and pushed him once more, making him stumble a few steps back in the snow so that they were once again an arms length away from each other. "You're just trying to make up stupid excuses to try and explain why you were just a bad friend."

Aaryan frowned and let out a breath.

"Don't expect me to forgive you with an excuse like that," she said before she turned to walk away.

"Thea, hold on–"

"No."

"You're right," he responded. "I was a stupid teenager, that's kind of the point I'm trying to make too."

Thea rolled her eyes and kept walking.

"I was a stupid teenager who grew up in the middle of a civil war and convinced myself that my one and only responsibility in life was to protect the people I love. And the only people in my life who I loved were you and my sister."

To this, Thea stopped walking, feeling a sudden pressure in her heart.

"That State's shelling made me realize that my own stupid decisions made me unable to protect you... I stopped talking to you because I was mad at myself... I couldn't look at you without feeling like I failed you. I felt like I let you down and I couldn't face you for that. And then a few years later my sister is murdered by the same bastards who nearly killed you... I convinced myself that my job was to protect you two and I failed at both," he said. "That's why I turned to the fucking Crows, Thea."

Thea turned and looked at him.

"I thought that since I couldn't do this on my own, I had to join the Crows... and then I realized that those bastards can be just as bad as the goddamn State and now I'm here. Working under Niall... standing in front of you... trying to get you to understand that the one thing that you should know well about me at this point is that I'm absolutely terrible at making decisions for myself and my decision to avoid you was one of those bad ones."

Thea couldn't help but smirk at that, letting a breath out through her nose.

"Be mad at me, Thea, fine," he continued, holding his hands out. "You have all the right to be mad at me... but don't leave the others and the work that you're doing behind because of a stupid decision I made. The work that you're doing in Achlis, for Niall, is important. You've done more in the last few months than any of us and we need you there. So don't be mad at them because of my stupidity... especially not Niall... not when he's been telling me to come see you and talk to you for a long time now. He never wanted me to have to avoid you."

Thea's brows rose at that.

Niall had told him to speak to her?

She thought back to her yelling at Niall for lying to her... why hadn't he just told her that?

She felt her heart ache a little more as she wondered if maybe Niall had preferred to take the fall for Aaryan over blaming him for his bad decisions. Judging by everything she knew about the man... that wouldn't be too far fetched.

"I hope you're hearing me," Aaryan added.

To that, Thea let out a tired breath before turning and heading back to her home. "Good night, Aaryan."







Aaryan left her alone after that and since she didn't see him the next day or the day after that, she assumed he had returned to the Capital. He probably had work to do after all... in the Screeching Crow... whatever that work was.

Thea, on the other hand, was left to her own devices back in Abureth. Surprisingly, she felt both lonely and anxious and unable to sit still. Despite her outburst, Luana had been calling daily to not only keep Thea posted on Rue, who was still unconscious, but to also try and convince her to come back.

Though deep down Thea knew she wanted to, she felt like she was no longer allowed to.

She had quit.

She couldn't just come running back, not after yelling at Niall the way she did. Besides, she hadn't heard from Niall at all, not once... and maybe that was part of the issue. She wanted to hear from him. She wanted him to tell her what Aaryan had told her... that he really had tried to tell Aaryan to tell her the truth. It would certainly have made her feel better about the whole thing, even if it was childish of her.

However, she tried to use her time wisely, spending pretty much all her free time at her typewriter, typing out Rue's handwritten poems one by one, hoping to one day put it together as a book for him. And maybe... once he saw it bound together... he would agree to publishing them. He would agree to publishing them and once people read them and saw how amazing he was... that could be a step forward to freeing him. It could be her way to help Rue outside of Achlis.

But it was on the fourth day since she had quit that Thea felt the most regret about her outburst and her decision to leave Achlis.

She was sitting in the living room that evening with her father, taking a break from typing and sipping tea as she flipped through the day's newspaper, which was splayed out on the couch next to her. Yes, it was the Elorian Times and she hated that she still read that paper, but she didn't have time to ponder on that for too long. It wasn't on the front page, but as she flipped through the paper, she soon found herself freezing at the sight of a black and white photo of both Rivier and Niall under to the title:



Defence Secretary on Thin Ice!



Thea lowered her coffee, eyes widening.

The leak that they had planned... it had reached Abureth.

Before she proceeded with reading though, without thinking, her fingers touched the picture of Niall. He looked handsome despite his face looking so solemn and stern, but the black and white, grainy photo was nothing compared to the real thing. With no way of seeing the contrast between the light, icy green of his eyes and the exceptional darkness in the black of his hair, he looked rather normal.

Anyone who had never seen him before in real life had no idea.

Letting out a breath, she moved her fingers away before continuing to read.



Defence Secretary on Thin Ice! – Evidence of a drunken, brutal attack on a state prisoner and an Achlis employee has sparked rumours of the potential end to Keene Rivier's career.

ACTEONIA CITY - After the humiliating trickery and defeat of Keene Rivier by the Elorian Revolutionary Armed Forces in the 1957 failed Siege of Faru, a failure that cost the State Military millions, it had been common knowledge among Aiverian nationals that it would take miracle for the long unpopular Secretary of Defence to win back the favor of the people and his colleagues. However, after years of silence in an effort to gain back public support, recent news from the State's Capital seems to indicate that Rivier is back to walking on thin ice.

Sources from within the Military Headquarters in Acteonia City told the Elorian Times that after a recent alcohol induced tirade, not only was a prisoner of the State viciously attacked by Rivier, but so was a female employee of the State. Details of the identities and conditions of both the prisoner and employee remain unknown but rumors indicate the prisoner to be the sole Crow captured in the failed Siege of Faru. After the spread of these rumours and accusations of assault and incompetence, calls for the dismissal of Rivier have begun to fill Military Headquarters itself, but also the streets of the Capital.

Sources within the Military Headquarters also indicated the possible successor to Rivier to be the controversial, mixed-blood prodigy and current Deputy Secretary of Defence, General Niall Killian – the son of the previous Secretary of Defense.



Thea sipped at her coffee, a brow raised. Controversial, mixed-blood prodigy and current Deputy Secretary of Defence, General Niall Killian – the son of the previous Secretary of Defense. She thought. What a title.

She continued reading.



Despite his numerous victories and evident success as both a State Official and the General of the Aiverian Army, including being the primary player in ending the Civil War, insider sources indicate little favor for Killian among the majority of his colleagues due to his mixed-blood status.

General Killian has refused to comment on the rumours and accusations at this time.



Thea was frowning.

Sure, she was pleased that the leak had gotten as far as Abureth and that apparently, people in the Capital were actually upset about what was going on, but something still felt strange. Maybe it was because they had kept her identity as an Elorian a secret (though for good reason, clearly), or maybe it was the fact that even though so much time had passed, Rivier still had his job after doing something so horrible, or maybe it was the fact that she didn't like that people did not approve of Niall.

Or maybe it was something else altogether.

The article made her nervous.

Before she could think more deeply into it though, there was a loud knock on their door.

Thea looked up before turning to her father, who was still so absorbed in the newspaper he was reading that it looked like he hadn't even heard the knock. So she stood, making her way to the door. "I've got it," she said to her grandmother, who peeked out of the kitchen where she was beginning to get things ready for dinner with Thea's mother.

When she opened up the door to the darkness of Aburethian winter, despite it not being that late yet, she looked out and was immediately surprised by the sight of someone's back. Though it wasn't the back that surprised her.

Even despite wearing a thick scarf and being under a long coat, she recognized the figure immediately, his broad shoulders and legs-apart stance and posture and everything else being something that she seemed to have accidentally memorized.

It was Naill.

When the light from the inside of their home leaked out onto their porch and yard, Niall turned, a small smile forming on his face when his eyes met Thea's. "Hi."

Her throat went dry, an odd rush of emotions filling her... emotions she didn't really understand.

Then, suddenly, Thea's grandmother was right beside her, gawking. "Oh. My. Goodness!"



---



Hello!!

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