Hi everyone!

As promised, for anyone who chose to skip the last chapter because of the trigger warning, you will find a summary of it below! Thank you as always for your love and support! Don't forget to vote and comment to let me know what you think! Oh, and if you're really enjoying, don't forget to follow as well!!

Love, luckycharms <3

SUMMARY OF THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

The previous chapter is a flashback to Thea's time in university where she met Adrien. She meets him in one of her politics classes after she catches him playing with her hair and later finds out that he thought it was beautiful. After getting to know each other, the two start a romantic relationship, though Adrien makes it clear that their relationship needs to be a secret because he does not want his father (Jakob Karney, the premier of Acteon) to find out.

At first, their relationship is going well, though it is kept a secret. However one day when Thea is at Adrien's private residence, some of Adrien's friends, including a kind boy named Carti, nearly catch them. From this point on, Adrien becomes paranoid that people will find out. Any time Thea happens to find herself unexpectedly where Adrien is, he accuses her of trying to sabotage him. Eventually his verbal attacks become physical, though it doesn't go past aggressive grabbing and sometimes shoving.

After exams, Thea finds herself at a party that Adrien is at and when he gets her alone, he accuses her once more of trying to make it obvious that the two are together. Thea reacts by breaking up with him, saying that she's not going to deal with this attitude any longer. To this, the drunk Adrien attacks her.

Carti, Adrien's friend, manages to enter the room their are in just in time to save Thea, however Adrien's other friends enter the room too and Adrien is upset that his friends saw anything at all. To reassert himself in front of everyone, he gets his friends (one of them being Railand) to hold Thea down and cuts all of hair off. Carti is horrified, but unable to help her, though hours later, he is the one who comes back and takes her back to her hostel.

Thea calls her brother (who is not a Crow at this point), and he comes to the Capital and stays by her side through her recovery... though her brother is also horrified by it all. She stays away from her family for two years because she does not want them to find out what happened and wants her hair to grow back first.

Hair is significant to Elorian culture because Ancient Elorians believed that hair held their peoples memories. Hair is only supposed to be cut in ceremonies or during special life events, so Adrien cutting her hair was more than just a physical attack on her.

Hope this is helpful! Feel free to let me know if you have any questions!

Thank you!!!

Now, onto the new chapter!



---



Rue had not looked away from her once or let go of her hand for a moment as she told him her story, even when she cried, and when she was done, he let her cry silently for a few moments before speaking up. "It wasn't your fault," he repeated. "None of it was your fault."

Thea forced a smile.

"Would you like to hear my thoughts?"

"Of course, Rue," she said, wiping her tears away with her free hand. "For as long as I'm around, you are more than welcome to give me your thoughts."

To that, Rue smiled. "Everything that the Karney boy did to you was horrid and unjustifiable," he began. "And I wonder if maybe you still don't understand his mind... you don't understand why it happened?"

She thought for a moment and despite the multiple times Rue, and even her brother, the only other person who knew what happened, had told her it wasn't her fault, when she tried to think of why Adrien did the things that he did, all she could think of was that he was reacting to her.

It was her fault.

"I... don't," she said, honestly. "When I think of it, the only explanation is that he did it because I made him mad."

Rue shook his head. "No, Thea," he said. "I believe for a fact that Adrien, despite the evil in him, did love you to some extent."

Thea's brows rose. What. No.

"He loved you the way that I have to believe Rivier... loved... his daughter," he explained. "It's not the kind of love we understand, it's an impure, corrupt love that maybe is more similar to a desire to claim something or someone as their own, rather than actual love. A love they have and only care for if it benefits themselves. Whatever the case, I feel that he did feel that impure feeling for you. And similar to Rivier, when he felt that his pride and ego, something people like him value more than anything, was threatened, not by you but by his own thoughts of themselves, or other's thoughts of him, he was given a choice between you and himself. He chose himself."

Thea understood this.

This made sense to her.

"It wasn't your fault," he accentuated. "This was all him. It was all his decision. It was a horrible, unfair, cruel and evil decision, and whether he can feel love or not, it still makes him evil. But you did nothing wrong. Do not blame yourself."

Somehow, she felt lighter.

Rue was right.

"He took a lot from you, and you've allowed yourself to think that they are gone forever," Rue continued. "It's why you act so rashly sometimes, let it be your decision to go on your own to Danyo or snap at the General and quit... it's because you fear that more people will hurt you and take and ruin what's left of you. But the thing about people like you and me is that we grow and move on. We must. We must move on and remember that the decisions of people who have ill intentions for us may break us, but they can not take away our ability to pick ourselves back up and move forward."

Suddenly, Thea was thinking of Niall.

Well.. she was thinking of Niall and his mother.

Niall's mother did not have a person as wise and caring as Rue to tell her to move forward. Yet she did it, on her own. She was broken in the worst way possible... alone and betrayed and forgotten and broken by everyone. And somehow, on her own, she moved forward. She was strong and kind and loving and raised a boy who would become as strong and kind and loving.

She didn't need to do that. She didn't need to keep him. She wouldn't have been wrong to leave him behind and live for herself... no one would have had the right to blame her if she did... but she made her decision.

She raised him... and created something beautiful. Someone beautiful.

Now she was reminded of the poem that Rue had written for her. Finally, she pulled her hand away from her Rue and brought her purse up to her lap. She fumbled through it until she pulled out Rue's notebook where in it was the poem he wrote for her, folded up.

Every interaction changes our lives. A simple little smile from a stranger, Or your beloved shattering your heart...

It changes us. Like a chisel on stone.

So tell me... if you let every cruel glance And every harsh word chisel away at The fragile marble slab that is your soul, What exactly is it that you become?

Will you let the ones who wish to hurt you Become the artists that carve and shape you? Will you let the ones who wish to break you Hold the chisel that could also save you?

No. You are smarter and stronger than that. So instead of handing the tools away To every person who passes by you, Take them back from those who never mattered.

Know who it is that you want to become. What kind of woman do you want to be? She is in you, under that precious stone. Think, then take the chisel and become her.

Thea looked up from it at Rue, her eyes slowly widening. Before the meeting, when Niall had first handed her this poem and she first read it, she didn't know what kind of woman she wanted to be. At first, she thought of her grandmother, who she adored, but that didn't exactly feel right.

Now, as she sat here, staring at Rue, she felt her heart grow light.

She knew the kind of woman she wanted to be.

She wanted to be the kind of woman Niall's mother was.

Strong and brave and capable. Someone who was able to take the right step forward when life seemed to wrong you in the worst way possible. Someone who could make beautiful things despite all the horrors they experienced.

What excuse did she have to not be the kind of woman she wanted to be? If Niall's mother could do it on her own, Thea could do it too... especially with the help of someone like Rue... and someone like the boy that woman raised.

She didn't want to be burdened by fear... held back by the weight of her pain... the weight of her memories.

She wanted to take the chisel and be the woman she dreamed of being.

Rue was smiling at her. "I think, Thea, you know what to do. What you want to do."

She blinked, but then smiled. "I'll be back, I promise."

"I'll be here," he lifted his arm, the chains rattling with the movement. "Promise."

She chuckled, wanting to hug him, but also not wanting to hurt him. So instead, she stood and leaned over him before pressing her lips against his forehead.







Niall didn't open the door right away and Thea didn't blame him. It was well past midnight and it would be safe to presume that he was fast asleep. However, he did eventually open the door, wearing a button up shirt that looked to have been hastily thrown on, the buttons left unbuttoned. He looked at her with furrowed brows and concerned eyes.

It seemed like he was always looking at her like this these days.

"What's wrong, Thea?" He asked, running his fingers through his hair to try and neaten it out.

"Sorry... did I wake you?"

Niall hesitated. "No," he exhaled. "I wasn't really doing much sleeping."

With everything that happened today, she figured as much. "Do you mind... if I come in?"

He stepped aside. "Please," he said. "Come in. Come in and tell me what's wrong."

She walked in. "You don't need to worry," she said. "I'm fine."

After shutting the door behind her, he looked at her for a moment. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Maybe something strong?"

To that, Niall smiled.

As Niall poured her a drink from his apparent 'special collection' that he stored in his office instead of out in the open for Kaya to get her hands on, Thea walked around the living room. Her fingers grazed over the keys of the piano he played in secret and for the first time since she first visited his home, she examined the nicknacks he put up on display on the multiple book shelves that lined the wall behind the piano. It seemed that it was this corner of his home that really had most of his personality in it, and she was intrigued.

There were a few awards, some statues here and there and even a few photos. The first of the photos she noticed was one of Niall, Kaya and Julien, Kaya in the center, grinning with her arms around both Julien and Niall who she pulled close to her. They looked younger, teenagers maybe, and all of them were in their military uniforms. Thea wondered if maybe this was taken right at the end of the Civil War... if she was doing the math right, Niall would have been either sixteen or seventeen if that were the case.

She looked closely at the young man in the photo, the man who would have been near to the same age that Aaryan was when he ran off, though this would have been quite a few years before Aaryan ever turned sixteen.

Young Niall was still handsome, yes, but Thea could say with certainty that he certainly grew into himself, a hundred times more attractive now than he was back then.

She found herself smiling before her eyes caught the sight of another photo. She turned her head to a different, lower shelf, spotting a photo of the team. It was a rather formal looking photo, with Niall sitting in the center, Kaya and Julian on either side of him and Luana, Milo, Aaryan and Mrs. Railer behind them. As she stepped towards it, she wondered what this could have been taken for, also noting that if she had paid a little more attention all the times she came here in the past, she would have recognized Aaryan in the photo. She would have figured it out much earlier.

Of course, there was no point worrying about that now. Instead, she felt a little disappointed to see that she wasn't in the photo. She tried not to dwell too much on it though, knowing it was taken before she ever joined them, however, as she bent down to look at it, she spotted a small little card leaning against the frame. A small little card with her handwriting... she picked it up, confused.



Hello General Killian,

Just wanted to say thank you for the advice you gave me yesterday. It was really helpful. I'm taking it to heart and I think I'll be getting somewhere with my discussions with Rue soon enough.

In case I don't see you - have a wonderful weekend.

Oh, and thank you for the lemons and honey as well.

-Thea

There was a little smiley face on the bottom of it as well, and it only took her a moment to remember when she had given this to him... after she had proclaimed to Milo and Luana that she thought Niall was handsome, that he had pretty eyelashes. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought that he kept it, her smile growing.

Boy, how far they'd come since then.

It was as she was placing it back on the shelf, leaning it back against the photo of the team, that Niall returned. "On the rocks," he said, handing her a beautiful glass that looked like it was made of crystals.

"Thank you," Thea smiled as she held it out, letting him clink his glass against hers. Before she took a sip though, she let out a breath. "Rue... he's awake."

Niall nearly spit out the drink that was already in his mouth, almost choking when he held it in and having to turn for a moment to clear his throat. When he looked back at Thea, his eyes were wide. "What?" he asked. "You're telling me that now?"

"He's fine," she said, chuckling. "Well... as fine as he can be in the state that he's in."

"He spoke to you?"

She nodded, sipping her own whisky.

"The conversation?" he asked as he walked over to the grand piano, leaning against its lid. She could tell that the gears were shifting in his head as he immediately went into General mode, getting ready to evaluate the situation and provide solutions. She only really realized at that moment that he was always trying to find solutions. "How was the conversation?"

"He opened up to me more than he ever did," Thea said, wanting to ease his worries. "We certainly didn't have to worry about him not wanting to work with us ever again."

Niall let out a breath, looking incredibly relieved. "That's one thing off our plate of things to worry about," he rubbed his eyes with the hand that wasn't holding his whisky. "Aside from that, it's wonderful news that he's okay."

Thea smiled, happy as well, but after a moment, she stepped closer to where he was standing. "That's not why I came here though," she said, standing right next to the piano now as well. "I talked to Rue and now I need to talk to you."

Niall lowered his hand and looked at her, his brows pulling together once more. "Of course. What is it?"

She looked down at her drink, the crystal glass sparkling under the light of the chandelier that sat above the piano. "Thank you... for earlier... for what happened with Adrien."

"You don't need to thank me," he said, though when she looked at him, she saw his jaw hardening. "I did nothing."

"You did more than you think you did," she insisted. "What you said to him... threatening to make a fool out of him... you have no idea how effective that's going to be."

Niall kept his eyes on her.

"He... Aaryan, the way he exploded... I was terrified that Adrien would do something to him... to Luana even," she frowned. "But after what you said to him, I don't think he will. You seemed to know exactly what to say."

Niall sipped his drink now, tilted his head back and held the contents in the top of his throat for a moment before he swallowed. "When you spend this much time in Achlis... you learn to deal with men like him."

"Evil men."

Niall lowered his gaze, meeting her eyes. After a moment, he nodded. "Evil men."

Thea kept a steady hold of his gaze for some time, frowning. "Rue helped me understand that," she took a sip of the whisky before biting onto her lip, feeling her emotions rise to her throat. "That... and... I love him, Niall."

Her words were followed by silence, and when she looked back at Niall, she saw that his face had fallen flat. She wondered why he was looking at her like that, but then she realized what her words may have come off as. "Rue," she said, firmly. "I love Rue, not Adrien, god, not him... and not like that."

His expression relaxed, before he let out a breathy laugh and dropped his head, chuckling. "Theavi, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

Thea chuckled too, stepping closer to him and meeting his gaze again. "I know I have a track record of making dumb decisions... but I'm not that dumb."

He continued to laugh, drinking the last of his whisky before setting the glass aside. "You surprise me sometimes."

She gave him a light smack with the back of her hand, still smiling. "What I'm trying to say is I love Rue," she continued. "I don't know how to describe it... the closest thing I can compare it to is my brother... but it's not really that either. I feel like Rue and I, we have this strange understanding of each other. And though it may be one sided, I feel like I can trust him... with not just my life and my heart, but my mind as well. I can trust him with everything... is that odd?"

Niall shook his head. "I understand," he said. "I know the feeling."

"Do you?"

"Yes," he smiled softly. "I have that sense sometimes with Julian... and Kaya. It's a relationship where there's a level of understanding that makes them feel like... a part of you... an extension of your soul. You can tell them anything and fear no judgment."

Thea nodded.

Yes. That was it.

She felt like she and Rue connected in a way so deep that it reached her soul. "That's it," she was happy to understand it a little more. "And, because of that... I don't think I'll rest until he's out of that prison, until he's not in chains. He doesn't deserve to be in there. You and I both know that sure, he was a Crow, but he was only thrown in there because of Rivier's ego. He didn't do anything wrong..." she paused. "And if serving during a war is an argument for imprisonment then there wouldn't be space left in those prisons."

"I agree with you, Thea," Niall said.

She nodded, knowing he did, but still feeling the need to say it. "Within a matter of moments, Rue's been able to help me understand things that I have been trying to understand for years," she continued. "He's started the healing of wounds that I didn't even know could be healed. And that's... really why I'm here. Why I came to you."

Niall was listening patiently, which made Thea relax.

"All of this Adrien stuff... I know it's been adding to your never ending list of things to worry about and I'm sorry for that–"

"You don't need–"

"I know, Niall," she smiled at him. "I know you don't mind but I do... I hate seeing you worry about me. I don't want you to worry about me. I don't want to be a burden. I want you to look at me the way you looked at Luana earlier today and trust that I can do some crazy flip thing and smash my problems onto the ground with such force that the breath is knocked out of them."

He smiled at that. "She is the world's biggest pain in the ass, but can also be remarkable at times... you should see her shoot a gun."

"God, she's so cool," Thea sighed as Niall laughed. "I just... I want you to know that I'm fine. Really."

The smile from his laugh still lingered on his face as he nodded.

"And I'm going to prove it to you," Thea said, chugging the last of her drink and setting her now empty glass aside. "Now."

Now he slowly raised a brow.

She took a deep breath. "Adrien and I were together for a bit in university," she started.

Now both of Niall's brows rose up.

"He initiated a relationship with me and at the beginning, things were fantastic, but the catch was that no one could know about us because he didn't want his father to find out he was dating an Elorian girl."

"You knew who his father was?" Niall asked.

Thea felt her cheeks warm. "Yes... but only after things started–"

"You don't need to explain yourself, Thea, I was just curious."

"Right," she nodded before continuing. "Again, things were fine at first but soon, he... he started getting paranoid about people finding out. It became this strange back and forth where he would fight with me because he was so concerned about people knowing but then insist that he did in fact want to be with me... and I was eighteen and stupid and believed him every time. Eventually, he started to accuse me of purposefully trying to get people to find out about us, getting aggressive sometimes too, and then finally, when I showed up at a party that he was at, and he accused me of conspiring to have everyone at that party find out about us, so I put my foot down."

As she took a deep breath, Niall nodded encouragingly.

"He did not take it well," she continued, frowning. "So he..." she took another deep breath, looking up at the ceiling to stop the tears. "He... assaulted me."

Niall blinked, still for a moment before he reached out and took her hands in his. His expression seemed to suggest that he had expected as much, but hearing her say it clearly still shocked him.

"It didn't... go as far as... rape," she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Though he certainly tried, until one of his friends stopped him. But that created this new issue of his friends now knowing that he had tried to have sex with me... so he created this lie that I had been coming onto him and he wanted to teach me a lesson for trying to shoot too high."

Niall's hands were squeezing hers so tightly that it hurt a little, though she didn't mind it. Frankly, it grounded her.

"And so just to prove his point and humiliate me, he got his friends to hold me down and he... cut off all of my hair."

Niall's eyes narrowed before his expression was replaced with a look of realization. "Your student ID card..."

Thea nodded. She figured he would have seen that in whatever background check they had done. "I had to retake it because they threw out my purse at the party after everything. That's why my hair is so short in it."

"Thea... that's..."

"I know," she was looking down at their hands for a moment before she lifted his up and pressed his palms against her cheeks. Her face was hot with emotion and the coolness of his skin against her was soothing. "I've misjudged you enough times to have learned my lesson, so I'm not going to assume that you don't understand the significance of hair to Elorians... the significance of my hair to me."

His thumbs stroked her cheekbones gently in response as he stepped closer to her.

"He took so much from me that night and I know he still feels like he can hold over me the threat of doing it again, and take the rest away too," she said. "But Rue... he made me understand that I don't need to live like I've lost something. I can keep moving forward... just like my hair grew back."

"He's right," Niall agreed, his voice deep but soft.

"He is... and yes, my hair did grow back, but all of the hair that grew back after what Adrien did... it feels heavy with desperation and anger and pain... it reeks of him," she said, looking up at Niall. "I feel like the memories in it are all... not memories I'm happy with or entirely proud of. Which is why I came here."

She let go of Niall's hands and grabbed her hair in her fists, pulling it all over her shoulders. Her long, thick hair fell down over her chest and to her waist and despite everything, it was still beautiful... even Thea, who always second guessed her own looks, thought so.

But she had made up her mind already.

"Traditionally... we're not meant to cut our own hair so... can you... cut it for me?"

Niall's eyes widened, looking suddenly too stunned to speak. "Me?"

She nodded. "Everything that has happened after I met you... the good and the bad... has been wonderful. You've trusted me, you've cared for me, you've introduced me to all these people who now mean the world to me, you've helped me take the steps towards becoming the woman I've always wanted to become," she said. "I'd be incredibly happy if it were you. If it were you who cut off the hair that holds so much of all the bad things in it... because then I can look forward to it growing again... but this time, it'll grow during a future I'm excited for."

Thea waited, watching as Niall's brows drew together. For a moment, she wondered if maybe, seeing as he knew how significant this was to her, she was asking too much from him. However, before she could even begin to say that he didn't have to do this, she was surprised by him leaning in and kissing her forehead.

Her heart fluttered, and when he pulled away, he smiled at her. "That would be an honor, Thea. Really."

A rush of emotion passed through her as she smiled widely. "Thank you!"







Niall always cut his own hair, she soon found out as he guided her to the bathroom that was attached to his bedroom, so he had pretty much all the tools needed... except hair ties. So after using strings to tie her thick hair into multiple little groups, Thea stared at herself in the mirror and took a deep breath.

He was holding the very sharp scissors in his hands, watching her through the mirror. "Are you... sure?"

She nodded. "Yes. Do it."

His eyes fell onto her hair and Thea could see that he was sweating. Nervous, clearly. However, as she watched him, all she could think of was how grateful she was to him... the relief she felt being here with him. Yes, she was falling for him, but even with that, she felt safe and calm and steady with him here.

"Niall," she called, turning to look at him over her shoulder. When his eyes met hers, she smiled at him. "I trust you."

After a moment, he smiled too. Then, he closed his eyes, let out a deep sigh before opening them again. Gently, he grabbed one of the sections, lifted up the scissors, and slowly, but cautiously, he cut just above the string.

When the first section was entirely cut off, he held it up for Thea to see. "No turning back now."

"No," Thea chuckled, feeling her eyes water as he handed her the lock of hair. She looked at it in awe, though something about holding it in her hand like this, detached from her body... it made her feel free.

With that, Niall continued. The sound of the blade of the scissors slicing though her hair was satisfying, and with every long lock of hair that Niall handed to her, Thea felt like a weight had been lifted off of her.

She closed her eyes and after a short while, she found herself relaxing... enjoying the sound of the scissors and the feeling of his cool fingers sweeping against the back of her neck. He worked gently, and unlike when Adrien had done it, Niall's hands in her hair created a pleasant feeling. There was no tugging or yanking or her hair getting caught in the scissors, and though Niall's fingers brushed gently against the scar on her ear that Adrien had left behind, there was no blood.

When he snipped off the last of her hair, cleaning up the ends to make it even, a straight line all across, though it wasn't absolutely perfect, her now shoulder length hair felt incredibly light. Staring at herself in the mirror, she blinked, seeing in the reflection a younger girl, looking younger not just because of the hair, but because of her still swollen eyes, nose and cheeks from all the crying she had done that day.

She certainly didn't want to look younger, but of course, she couldn't help that now.

"Thea, thank you for trusting me with your hair," Niall started, eventually breaking the long silence. He stepped in front of her so that he could look at her face and leaned against his bathroom counter. "You look beautiful."

She felt the blood rush to her face as she looked down at the locks of hair that were lined up neatly on the counter. She didn't feel beautiful, but his words meant a lot nonetheless.

"And also... I hope you know that you are incredibly strong."

"No I'm not," she smiled. "I cried like a baby."

"Crying isn't a bad thing," he responded, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm proud of you."

Suddenly, she felt a little embarrassed.

"And similar to what you said about Luana, how you want me to trust you the way I trust her... in that same light, I want you to always feel safe enough to come to me when you need something, the same way you did just now," he said, reaching out and tucking her now short hair behind her left ear. His fingers lingered over the scar for a short moment before he pulled his hand away. "If Adrien, or anyone for that matter, is bothering you, don't feel like you need to handle it alone. I've said it a hundred times now... we're a team. We work together and that's how and why we excel, and the same rule applies for troublesome situations like what you've been going through."

Thea kept her eyes on him for a moment before she nodded, a silly smile growing on her face. She stepped forward and rested her palms on the counter next to where he was leaning, bringing her face close to his. "If you promise to let Luana set up weekly sessions for her to teach me how to do that crazy thing she did... then I'll come to you more for help."

A wide smile slowly appeared on his face as one of his brows rose. "Hmm... I heard of this request. Also that you wanted Aaryan to be your unresponsive sparring partner?"

Thea found herself giggling. "Well, is that doable or not?"

"Deal," Niall responded. "Aaryan needs a good beating sometimes, and I think the only person he'll happily take it from is you."

She laughed a little more before looking at Niall with a smile. She felt warmth in her and despite everything, she was the happiest she had been in a long time. Rue was awake and closer to her than ever before. Her friends and family had all proved they supported her, even her brother. Aaryan, even if she was still peeved with him, was alive and well. Adrien was an insect on the wall for all she cared, especially after seeing the people who loved her throw him around the way they did... and especially after her conversation with Rue. And she was here with Niall, the man she was falling for.

She wanted to kiss him, but admittedly was a little scared of rejection. He had already told her no twice. Did she really want to potentially ruin a good day with a third one?

However, it seemed her fear was misguided, as after a moment of watching her reflect, he hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. He brought his lips to hers, though pausing just a breath away, as if second-guessing himself, or wanting to make sure she was okay with this first.

She was, and without wasting longer than need be, she closed the gap between the two and kissed him, her arms sliding up his chest and over his shoulders as she sank into him. Neither of them were drunk... a single glass of whisky wasn't enough to do that, however, her head was still spinning. Her heart was beating so hard that she could feel the thumping in her head and all she really wanted to do was melt in his arms. She loved this. She loved it so much.

So when he pulled away, it wasn't exactly an exaggeration to say that it took everything in her to not whine like a child to get him to kiss her again. "Thea," his voice came out as a whisper as he touched his nose against hers and she prepared herself for the rejection again. "I'm sorry–"

"Why are you apologizing?" She asked, trying not to sound frustrated.

"Because I'm being selfish."

"What?" Thea frowned, pulling away a little though still in his arms. "How?"

"You're smart and talented and you've worked incredibly hard," he started, "you've succeeded in so many ways... but if people find out about this then all of your hard work would mean nothing."

Thea raised her brows. "Because it's unprofessional?" she asked. "Is that it? It's not illegal to kiss your boss."

"It most certainly is unprofessional, but that's not what I'm referring to."

"Then what?"

"I'm referring to the fact that if people found out that I, the General of the Aiverian Army, fancy you, someone who works for me, then all of your work and successes will immediately be discredited."

Thea felt her heart skip a beat, a small smile forming on her face. "You... fancy me?"

Now Niall looked at her with raised brows. "If you haven't figured that out yet then maybe you aren't as smart as I thought you were."

She laughed at that, bringing her face close to his again, just close enough for her to look right into his beautiful, green eyes. "Niall, I don't care," she said. "I'm an Elorian woman... being discredited is a part of life for me. I'll deal with it."

"Thea–"

"At least in this case, it'll be because of something I chose for myself. Not my skin colour or my eyes or my hair," she said. "If they want to discredit me because I want to kiss a man who treats me with the utmost care and respect, then they can go ahead and do that."

"You say that now, but–"

"I won't change my mind."

He was looking rather deeply into her, almost looking as if he were trying to find an ounce of concern or worry in her. Of course, she knew he would find none of that.

"I don't care what the evil men on top think, Niall," she insisted. "All I care about is what you want... if you had no reason to be worried about things like this, how would you want things to go? What would you want to do with me?"

He let out a little laugh as he rested his forehead against hers. "Thea, there are a lot of things I'd want to do to you."

Her smile grew as quickly as her body grew warm. "With me," she corrected, grinning. "I said with me."

His response was to smile and say a simple, "oh."

She laughed and kissed him again. This time, it was a short peck, and when she pulled away, she looked at him, her hands on his chest. "If it makes you feel better, people who don't matter don't need to know about whatever it is we're doing... I'm no stranger to keeping things a secret."

His brows drew together in concern. "I don't want you to feel what Adrien–"

"No, Niall," she smiled. "I feel nothing like the way I did back then... Adrien wanted to keep it a secret to protect himself. You want to keep it a secret to protect me. That's a big difference."

He watched her for a moment, before nodding. "If it comes out?"

"Then it comes out," she shrugged one of her shoulders. "Oh well."

He let out a soft laugh before allowing himself to kiss her once, and then a second time. "Promise me then that you won't regret this," he said against her lips, taking her hand and tangling his fingers with hers. "I don't exactly know if I'd be able to take that."

"I promise," she said. "Really, Niall, you're one of the few things I'm sure of."

He kissed her again, for the fifth or sixth time since he had cut her hair for her, and it still didn't feel like enough. Even when he knotted his fingers in her shortened hair, deepening the kiss, his tongue against hers, she tried to pull him closer to her than he already was and it still didn't feel like enough.

When he pulled away to catch his breath, she didn't want to let him, but before she could protest, his lips were against her neck and her body suddenly felt like it was inches away from the sun. "What were your plans for the rest of the night," he asked her, his whisper warm against her skin. "Was there anything you had to do?"

"No plans," she said, "No."

He straightened up and looked at her, his hand rising up to her face, his thumb against her lip. "Do you... want to stay here? It's well past the hostel's curfew."

"Yes," she said, maybe a little too quickly. "Do I have to take the spare room?"

He was smiling. "Not if you don't want to."

"I don't want to," her answer was just as quick as before.

"Alright," his smile grew, "couch it is then."

Thea pulled away and scoffed as Niall laughed at her reaction. He leaned forward to catch her lips against his again but she moved away, pouting dramatically. "I guess I'll head to the couch then," Thea said, stepping away.

Niall was chuckling, amused as he grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her close again. "No, no, there's plenty of space on my bed."

"Too bad I'm taking the couch then," she responded.

He was laughing, it was a gorgeous laugh, and before she could react, he had scooped her up in his arms.

Now Thea was laughing too, blushing in embarrassment as he carried her out of the bathroom and into his room, leaving the mess of the haircut behind in there.

She thought he would throw her onto the bed, but he didn't. Instead, he laid her down gently before bending over and kissing her lips again. She held his face in her hands, but he pulled away, "just give me a moment," he said before getting up and walking over to the bathroom again to turn off the lights and shut its door, making Thea feel that all the horrors of Adrien would be locked away behind there too.

She smiled, leaning her head back onto the bed and staring at the ceiling as he shut his door and turned the lights of his room off. Then, after taking off his shirt, he joined her in bed again, climbing on top of her and kissing her and her heart was aching in the best way possible. For some time, they just kissed and Thea enjoyed every second of it, eventually going as far as pushing him off of her so she could get on top of him. She straddled him, each leg on either side of his waist, before knotting her fingers in both of his hands and kissing him again.

The room wasn't dark, seeing as all the curtains over his large windows were pulled open and the same bright moon that Rue was admiring in the hospital was still out, its light pouring into Niall's bedroom.

So when she leaned away and looked at him, completely shirtless for the first time, her heart was beating fast. As she always imagined, he did have the body of a soldier. Strong and fit and covered in scars, his pale skin drenched in the light of the moon.

He was stunning.

Luana was so wrong about him... Niall was the most handsome man in all of the Capital and Thea was certain, now more than ever, that Luana either had really bad taste, or her eyes were so set on Milo that any other man was an imp compared to him.

Whatever the case, Thea smiled, happy to know that she had Niall all to herself.

"What are you thinking?" Niall asked, his hands on her waist as he looked up at her with a relaxed smile.

Thea pressed her lips into a thin line for a moment before speaking. "Just that I was completely right about you having beautiful eyelashes."

Niall snorted at that and his smile was still big, looking rather glorious in the moonlight. Then, after watching her for a moment with an expression of amusement on his face, he reached out, put his hand at the nape of her neck and pulled her back to him, catching her lips against his.