"I wasn't born to be soft and quiet. I was born to make the world shatter and shake at my fingertips." -Unknown

~Recap~

"Well maybe you should've just stayed out then." He shouts.

With that, I rise from my seat and storm out the room, about to walk out the front door.

"If you even think about opening that door young lady you are in big trouble. There are guards stationed at every exit and they will drag you back in kicking and screaming. Not to mention you were grounded last night!" Lorenzo shouts from the kitchen.

I sigh in anger and storm up the stairs to my room, annoyance flooding through my veins.

I don't care that he doesn't want me in the house. I don't.

~Now~

Anger is a scary thing. It makes us to things we don't want to. It makes us do unspeakable things. Things in the heat of the moment.

It makes us do things we can't take back.

Anger is one of the most dangerous things in the world.

Right now, anger flows through my veins.

And my IED (intermittent explosive disorder) is making it stronger.

Right now, the anger flowing through my veins is overpowering.

And it needs a release.

I need a release.

Somewhere that I can harness all this pent up power and anger and expel it from my body before I do something I will regret, probably knocking out one of my brothers.

Even just thinking about them fuels my fucked up anger even more.

Before I can let my anger stew more, I go to my bathroom and change into some workout clothes, a pair of sweatpants, a long-sleeved T-shirt and a sports bra.

I'm not the most comfortable in my body and therefore usually prefer clothes where I'm covered and loose-fitting.

I know I'm too skinny for my own good, literally skin and bones. When I was a baby, I was born extremely prematurely, and apparently part of that meant I had a lack of appetite, meaning now I usually don't eat often, causing my stunted growth and lack of nutrition. Over the years, I've also formed an eating disorder which hasn't helped my health. Because of that, I have frequent hospital visits and stuff, but it also means I'm quite unconfident with my body and what I wear.

The scars that litter my body only increase that lack of confidence, with self-harm scars filling my whole forearms and thighs, and torture marks from when I was kidnapped filling my back and all around my body. On top of that, there is the random underground fight or assassin mission scars from guns and knives and stuff.

So now, I choose to wear long sleeved stuff, just until I'm comfortable.

As soon as I change, I quickly make my way to the gym.

Anger continues to fuel my brain. It almost clouds all judgement I have.

I know I have to be quick. Make my way to the gym quickly without being spotted, otherwise I will punch something, or someone.

I've done it before, punched something I mean. I've got the marks through the wall to prove it as well.

As I continue walking across the corridor to the gym, I glance at the photos that line the hallway.

Pictures of how our family used to be litter the walls, pictures of me and Lena smiling widely, me and Sandro getting ice cream, pictures of our parents holding new born babies, memories that feel a lifetime ago.

Not paying attention to my surroundings again, I suddenly bump into a wall. "Oof" I say out of reflex.

Wait. When was there a wall here?

I look up and see the giant figure of my brother.

Rocco.

"Watch where you're going!" He shouts.

I only scowl at him in response, still extremely angry about breakfast.

"Hey! I said watch where you're going! Reply god dammit! Isn't one of the rules always give verbal responses?" He shouts again. You see, IED runs in the family.

Or just technically me and Rocco.

"I don't give a fuck about verbal responses. So you can shove those verbal responses right up your- "

"Hey hey hey. There's certainly no need for that language, Lila. Stop that right now." Giovanni comes out of no where, cutting me off in a calm but peaceful voice.

Roco smirks at my annoyed glare. "You too, Rocco. Don't think I didn't hear all that! I think the whole house did!" Gio announces.

"I already told you. I do whatever the fuck I want." I reply, angry and feeling impatient. What does a girl gotta do to get to the gym for fucks sake!

Before Gio can scold me again, I turn around and sprint to the gym, my hair flying behind my head. In the background, I hear shouts of protest for me to go back, but I don't once slow down until I'm safely in the gym.

That's the adrenaline rush I need.

But I need more.

That was just the beginning.

I forget about wrapping my hands, heading straight to the punching back secured in the left hand corner of the room.

As soon as I've tied my hair up into a low ponytail, I'm punching the bag fiercely, unloading all my pain and pent-up frustration onto it.

Stupid brothers thinking they can come back into my life after leaving me.

Punch.

They abandoned me for work. Their work took priority over my rapidly declining health.

Punch. Punch. Punch.

Stupid Alessandro with his stupid rules.

Punch. Punch. Punch. Punch. Punch. Punch.

Stupid me for leaving my designs here in this hellhole.

Stupid me for being a disappointment.

Stupid me for letting my twin get killed.

Stupid me for letting mum and dads death effect me so much.

Stupid me for letting my emotions in.

Stupid me for not keeping my facade up.

Punch. Punch. Punch.

Whack-

The fucking punching bag ripped open, sand pouring onto the floor. I collapsed onto the floor, sitting with my legs splayed out under me, fingers and knuckles dripping with blood from being unwrapped.

With that, Angelo came rushing over to me from God-knows where. "Hey hey hey what happened? Are you okay?" He asks worriedly.

"I'm fine okay? Just leave me alone!" I shout back.

"Then what happened, Lila? And why are you're hands not wrapped?"

"I just punched the bag a little too hard and it broke, okay! And I didn't want to wrap my hands so I didn't! And for the last time! My name is not Lila to any of you! My name is Delilah! Only family can call me Lila. And none of you are." I reply coldly, really wishing the punching bag didn't break right about now.

"What do you mean we're not family? Come on Lila!" He replies, hurt.

Well he's hurt?

I'm fucking hurt!

They've all hurt me in ways they will never understand!

When dad died, I was only eleven. Eleven and an orphan.

Everyone else had grown up. Sure they were still young. Angelo himself was only 17, still a child, but the rest of them were legal adults. Alessandro became my guardian but then left only days later to take over the Italian Mafia. He took Giovanni with him as his second in command, leaving me in the care of Lorenzo.

We were all filled with grief, but after a few weeks, they slowly started to blame me.

Blame me for Lena's death, for mums death, for dads death, for all of it. All the trouble that this family have faced. If you even can call us that, a family I mean. All we really are are some broken people living under the same roof, wishing to be fixed.

They blamed me for it all. And I will never forgive them.

So to hell with them being my family.

"Family is the people who care for you and support you, who lift you up when you need it the most. You were not there for me, none of you were. You blamed me for their deaths and made me feel worthless. And you still expect me to all you family? You must be fucking kidding! So yeah, it's definitely Delilah to you. To all of you." I reply to him in a calm and deadly voice. My assassin voice.

Fucking brothers with their fucking opinions.

With my new found anger, I once again stormed away from yet another brother today.

I can't believe I had gone to the gym to release my anger and as soon as it was all gone, he had to go and restore it again by talking about all of that absolute bullshit.

I hope both sides of his pillow are warm.

I grin with an evil smirk.

For now, I need to get out of this house.

I know that if I were to try get out from the front door, they would be notified and I would be stopped by the guards, therefore I would need to sneak out.

It wouldn't be hard considering I had done it countless times before, but it would just take longer considering my room is on the second floor, like all the other rooms.

As soon as I've reached the safety of my room, as safe as this house can be with these fucking idiots in it, I grab my black duffel, filled with my clothes and equipment for my adventures underground.

I secure it across my body, before locking the door and going to my window, opening it all the way. I wiggle my body out of the window onto the outside ledge, before closing the window, only leaving a small gap.

Then, I climb down using the vines that had grown up the side of the house, making sure I stay hidden behind the line of trees that form a pathway.

As soon as I've climbed down, I sprint across to the hidden entrance in the bushes, making sure to keep an eye on the guards stationed all around the house.

Phew. I'm out.

Deep breaths in and out.

Control the anger. Don't let it consume you.

Remember, anger makes us do things we can't take back.

Control yourself before you do something you can't take back.

Hmmm. Underground racing, fighting or assassin mission?

Underground fighting. Definitely.

I need somewhere to expel all this anger before it drives me insane. Preferably on a moving target.

I head over to the main underground rings, speed walking as I do so as to not risk running into anything that could further trigger my IED.

Before I get to the door, I swiftly duck into the nearby alleyway and swing the duffel off my shoulders. Placing it on the floor, I unzip the black zip and rummage through the items. I grab out my black T-shirt and joggers and quickly change into them behind a dumpster. Then, I grab out my black ski-mask.

Next comes the harder part. My T-shirt is a short sleeved, mainly because the fighting rings want to make sure we are not fighting dirty by hiding knives or weapons. But this means I'm really self-conscious when wearing a short sleeved T-shirt. Why I hear you ask?

Scars. Lots of them.

Scars litter my arms, all across my forearms. Slashes from razors mark every inch of skin. They're hard to miss. Many have been cut over and over, on top and sideways. There had clearly been no skin left untouched. As well as that, clear burn marks litter my skin also in circular patches, clearly from a lighter.

Before in the gym I could conceal them with clothes, but now? Now I just use concealer and makeup to hide them.

I grab out my concealer and paint over all the scars on my arms, hiding every line and every slash, every burn and every stab.

My eyes always water when doing this. It gets easier over time, but seeing them never will.

They just remind me of everything I've been through, and everything I'm trying to avoid.

After covering both arms completely with makeup, hiding every single scar and mark on them, I zip my bag back up and exit the alley, walking straight to the door, where I am met with the bouncer.

"This isn't a place for you, child. Move along now." He says in a gruff voice.

"I'm no child, you fucking idiot. Now let me in or I'll go in myself." I reply.

He immediately moved in front of the door, stopping me from entering. "I need to see some ID then." I replies.

I move my shirt, showing him my devils tattoo on my collarbone.



A/N - She has the bottom one (the one of the devil horns, wings and tail, on her right collarbone)

He immediately starts shaking in fear once he notices the tattoo. "Le Diable." He whispers. (The Devil)

"Yes. Now let me in before I do something I truly regret." I speak in my signature cold voice.

"Of course. I'm so sorry." He hurries out as he pulls open the door for me, waving his hand out for me to enter.

As I enter, I walk up to the front desk and start speaking to the receptionist. "Five fights for Le Diable." I speak coldly.

The receptionist looks up in shock by my presence. "Of course. You're first fight is on after this one." He speaks quickly, in fear of my reputation.

You see, I've been coming here a lot. I've also got quite the name for myself. Le Diable, french for The Devil, is a worldwide renowned underground fighter, assassin and street racer. My name alone makes people shiver in fear. No one knows my real identity, except for Elena, but she's gone now. Forever.

With that thought, even more anger brews inside of me.

"And now, I call to the ring... Shadow versus." The announcer begins. "Oh my goodness. They're here. Ladies and gentlemen, you are in for a treat tonight! Because the legend has arrived! Against Shadow is... Le Diable!" Multiple gasps were heard all throughout the room, my prestige making me known to all in the underworld.

As I make my way to the ring where my opponent already stands, I feel all the eyes in the room track my every step in awe.

I finally make it to the ring and get into position.

"You're a lot shorter than I expected." My opponent says, looking obnoxious with his layers of muscle.

He looks like he could crush me with his pinky.

Everyone looks like they could crush you with their pinky. You are a literal stick. You eat next to nothing and have multiple health conditions. You could probably be blown away by the wind!

Thanks, Linda. Always with the self-loving remarks. I internally roll my eyes.

I roll my shoulders, ignoring Linda's comments, and check my positioning, waiting for the referee to start the fight.

"3, 2, 1, GO!"

With that, we're off, circling each other, trying to find each other's weaknesses.

I see he's limping a little with his left foot, probably an old injury. He's also got reduced movement on his right arm. Possibly an injury? Or maybe he favours his left?

I see his hand shoot out and begin to head to my face. As I duck, I punch out my arm at his ribs. When I make impact, he takes a sharp breath of air in, clearly wounded.

I go in for a swing at his head again, but he blocks my arm. However, as he blocks, I see his right side of his body is open. I swing out my leg and snap it into his body, making him fall down onto the floor.

Whilst he's dazed, I grab his arm and swing him so he falls into his back, before punching him straight in the jaw, causing his jaw to dislocate and two teeth to come flying out. With that, he becomes knocked unconscious and slumps to the floor.

The crowd goes wild around me, yet the anger continues to feed off of my thoughts.

"And the winner is clearly Le Diable!!!" The referee shouts through his microphone.

With that, Shadow's body is dragged off and I begin getting ready for my next fight.

~Hours later~

I roll out my muscles, releasing the built up stress in my shoulders, however a heavy weight still stays there. Sighing, I make my way down the street towards my childhood home.

I'm guessing I'm going to be stuck there for a few days. It doesn't look like they are going to let me leave for a little while. I just need to wait until their attention leaves me and then I can do whatever I want again like before they arrived.

By now, I've finished all five fights, and of course won them all. My opponents now lie in a heaped pile awaiting medical care. I smirk internally at that.

I decide against changing out of my clothes and just remove my mask once I'm of a safe distance to not be spotted. Then, I secure my bag across my back again and start my walk.

It's not long before I make it to the mansion. My childhood home. The place I once felt safe...

...now I have no where.

I sneak back through the bush, my entrance being even more undetectable due to the night sky that has darkened everything around me.

Now, thousands of shimmering white stars illuminate my path back to my room instead of the shining rays of the sun.

I climb back up the vines and push open my window, before heaving myself and my bag through it and collapsing onto the floor.

I'm tired. I am always tired.

Mentally, physically, emotionally.

I feel nothing except tiredness. The fatigue that plagues me is appears as dark circles beneath my eyes, hidden by layers upon layers of concealer. My hair contains years of heat damage from being straightened for lack of motivation to properly care for it. My bed remains unmade and clothes litter the floor.

I have no motivation. What motivation would I have anyways? I've lost everything. I have nothing. I am nothing.

I sigh again, closing my eyes, just wishing to be succumbed by the darkness, my wish all nights for the past couple of years...

In this darkened bedroom, I am almost at peace.

I hear nothing, I feel nothing, I see nothing.

It's the closest to death I've ever felt without harming myself in any way.

I like it.

I wish it could be like this all the time.

Light.

The light by my desk is flicked on, illuminating the huge figure of Alessandro, sitting angrily.

I almost laugh at the sight of such a huge body sitting on such a small chair...

...until I see his face.

Disappointment?

Why is he disappointed? He left me? He clearly doesn't love me, or even like me? Why else would he have left me at age eleven when I had lost everything?

Disappointment is only for the loved, and I am not one of them.

I am not loved by my family, I have only one friend, and I certainly do not love myself.

So why does he seem disappointed if he doesn't love me? What is going on?

"Where were you?" He asks in an eerily calm voice.

"Out." I reply, quietly, still perplexed by his emotionless face yet revealing eyes.

"I said. Where. Where. You." I can tell he is getting annoyed, yet he is concealing his anger.

"I said. I. Was. Out." I reply once again. "Why do you care anyways?" I answer back, defiance flowing through my veins as braveness conquers the scared feeling in my heart.

I don't think I'm going to like what I hear next.

He sighs, in... confusion and sadness?

"Of course I care, Lila. I always care for you. Hell, I raised you! Why do you think I don't care? And, I'm now you're legal guardian so you have to listen to the rules! You cannot be sneaking out like this! What has gotten into you! You were never like this, so closed off and cold. What happened?" He replied calmly, still keeping up his blank face, but his tone and eyes reveal all his thoughts.

He's... worried?

Worried about me?

What the fuck is going on?

Hello!

Sorry for the long wait!

The next chapter is here now!😆

Cannot wait to hear what you think!

Also please feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made!

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