"Don't mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don't plan big moves out loud." - Unknown

~Recap~ (Lila's POV)

The last item seems to be another book, with a crumbling, red leather case and yellow, aged pages.

I turn it over in my hands, examining it closely.

On the front of it reads 'le journal d'amélie'.

My mothers diary.

Holy shit.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

~Now~

My breaths are coming out shorter, the air getting stuck in my throat.

What the fuck?!

My mother had a diary?

Why did no one know about it?

I flick open the pages cautiously, feeling as if the book is about to disintegrate right in my hands into a pile of dust.

My eyes scan the pages, 21st November, 23rd November, 25th November... holy shit!

This goes on for two years!

I can't believe this.

I launch up to my feet, ready to head downstairs and examine it further.

But as soon as I am up, I take a deeper look into the box. My hands dive in as if the contents of the box was sparkling gold coins.

More and more diaries fill my hands. More and more diaries from my mother.

I can't believe this.

This could answer all my questions. What happened with my parents? Why were they always fighting? How did they die?

Was it really all an accident?

Why were me and Elena taken?

My eyes well up at the unanswered questions running through my mind.

So many questions and not enough answers.

Laughter bubbles up and out of my throat, a strange sense of unease and adrenaline rushing through my body.

The answers were here the whole time.

More laughter.

The nightmares that plagued my mind, day and night, day and night, the answers to all the questions in them, right here. It was ALWAYS right here. Always within my grasp, within my reach.

More questions burn through my skull. Who else knows about these? Do my brothers? Did my father? My grandparents?

It's as if for every question I answer, three more take it's place.

I know almost nothing about my parents, most of it forgotten out of trauma. Even then, with the little time I got to spend with them, there wasn't much to remember.

And yet, it's as if there is something I am missing. Something my mind is trying to keep from me.

Faint indents into each of the spines of the diaries catch my eye. I pick up one of the books and examine it closely, before noticing some faint, ingrained numbers on the spine. A date? The year the diary was written?

I carefully dig through the rest of the books, trying to look for the earliest entry before my eyes land on a dark red, leather book. 1988. Two years before Sandro's birth.

I pick it up carefully, not wanting to damage my dear mothers' belongings.

Turning to the first page, my eyes begin to flutter over the words.

~Diary entry~

19th January 1988.

Dear Diary,

What a start to a year! I met a guy! And ohhh how madly in love I am.

His name is Francesco Russo and he is everything I have ever dreamed of and more.

He is so so perfect in every way, shape and form.

His eyes, oh god his eyes. Whenever he looks at me, I melt into a puddle. His eyes hold so much adoration, so much love, and so much hope.

What on earth did I do to deserve such an incredible guy?

We've only known each other 8 months but we already know that we are soulmates. We were meant to be together. This was our destiny.

He is my future, my present, my everything-

Bang!

I jolt up to my feet, hearing the distant sound of someone opening the attic door.

"What the hell are you doing up here?" asks a voice, climbing up the stairs.

"Nothing." I rush out quickly, hiding the book behind my back as I see Matteo emerging from the steep stairs.

He narrows his eyes at me accusingly, searching my face for a couple moments, before getting nothing.

I know how to not show my emotions, brother. I smirk internally.

"Okay." He says, clearing his throat. "Well, we're going out for dinner. We... we wanted to know if you wanted to come too. We can go wherever you want, really. We just want some time to talk to you. We figured you would be more comfortable if there were other people around?" He says nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his ringed hand.

Oh hell no.

I would rather die, eat my own shit, shove a needle-covered baseball bat up my-

"Sure."

Huh?

What did I just say?

Matteo looks just as confused as I feel, obviously not expecting this answer. He quickly jumps up in the air, clapping his hands, before quickly stopping, cheeks burning red from embarrassment.

"I promise you won't regret it. Be ready in an hour!" He says, before quickly running off, probably to tell the others.

Fuuuuuuuuckk.

Why the hell did I say yes?

Maybe I'm dreaming and this is all some fucked up nightmare.

I close my eyes and count to ten, before opening my eyes again.

Shiiiitttt. Aaaaarrrggghhhhh!!!

I sigh in frustration.

Guess I'll have to go get ready then?

I take the book out from behind my back and place it carefully in the cardboard box, before heaving the whole box into my arms.

"Ooof. This thing is heavy."

And now I'm talking to myself again. Great.

I slowly walk down the stairs, ready for this day to already be over.

~One hour later~

I carefully walk down the stairs, trying not to stumble over my four inch black boots. I had no clue how to dress, hence me struggling to know what exactly to wear. My grey coat whooshes in the wind as I traipse down the stairs, hearing all my brothers already conversed in the living room.

(Lila's outfit)



My heartbeat quickened as I reached the end of the stairs, anticipating the shit show I had gotten myself into.

Sighing for what must be the thousandth time today, I sneak round the corner, glancing into the living room.

The air inside seems tense, with a couple quiet conversations occurring around the room.

Before I can announce myself, my hiding spot is discovered by a certain 31 year old black-haired brother of mine. "Lila!"

All 7 pairs of eyes simultaneously turn to look at me, eyes boring right into me and my soul.

"Hi." I reply, giving a small wave of awkwardness around the room.

"You look beautiful sweetheart! Come sit! We've got a few minutes before we need to leave anyways." He replies, his face adorning a massive smile directed at me.

Fuck.

"Erm... okay?" I reply slowly.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

I look around the room, trying to find an empty chair amongst the fucking giants in the room.

Bloody hell how large are they?

I finally find a small spot on the L-shaped couch in between Alessandro and Rocco.

I slowly meander over to them, before squishing myself as small as possible in order to keep as much distance as possible from them. I only manage to get about 3 centimetres away though.

Alessandro's eyes burn even bore into me as the conversations gradually begin to restart around the room.

"Hey are you okay?" He questions.

I stay silent, making his eyes flash with worry.

How do I even try answering that question? No I'm not fucking all right. All my fucking family is dying around me whilst the remaining ones are pushing me away and blaming me for everyone's death whilst the other two have disappeared for the last four years. So no, I'm not fucking okay.

Before I can try think of something to say, he speaks again. "You look nice by the way. You've grown up." He says quietly.

"That's genuinely what happens when someone misses 4 years of a kid's life." I reply snarkily, not failing to miss the flash of hurt in his eyes.

He sighs again. "I know and I'm sorry."

"You should have thought about that before you abandoned me." I reply, hurt filling my voice unwillingly.

"I know I know and I am so so sorr-"

Before he can carry on his whispered apologising, Gio captures the attention of the room by standing up to his giant height and speaking. "Right, we all ready to go?"

Alessandro clears his throat from beside me, sending me one last worried glance. "Yes, I guess we should be heading off, shouldn't we?"

We all slowly stand, and once again I'm reminded of the massive height difference between us.

My breaths begin to quicken slightly, feeling overwhelmed by the massive bodies quite literally towering over me.

We quickly hurried out of the house, hurrying down the stairs towards the two cars that line the rounded entrance steps.

"Who's going in what car?" Angelo questions from beside me.

"I don't care. But Lila's in my car, end of discussion." Alessandro says.

I send him a questioning glance.

Alessandro heads towards the drivers door of one car, whilst Gio heads to the other.

"Shotgun!" Matteo exclaims before running off to Gio's car.

If I'm gonna be trapped in a car with Sandro, I might as well get the passenger seat.

I make my way over to the car and open the door.

"Hey hey hey! Oldest gets the front!" Rocco says from next to me.

"Nuh uh! You snooze you loose!" I reply back, craning my head up to him and sticking my tongue out at him.

What the hell is going on today? What the fuck is up with me?

Rocco looks down at me with a murderous glare.

"Aren't you too young and short to be sitting at the front?" He mocks.

"Aren't you too dumb to understand rules and laws? Cause we both know you're wrong." I defend myself.

Smoke is almost coming out of his ears. "You have three seconds to move to the back. One... Two..."

"Counting isn't gonna scare me, big guy." I reply, cutting him off and climbing into the seat.

My hand moves to close the door in his face, but before I can do that, he stops me by grabbing the door and holding it open in one of his giant hands.

"Three."

The gaze in his eyes scares something inside of me. It makes me terrified.

But he can't do anything with the rest of our brothers around us, right?

RIGHT???

I hurriedly try and shut the door, but it doesn't budge out of his strong hands.

I scramble back, not wanting to take the chance of ending up as a pancake, but unfortunately there's only limited amount of space in this bloody car.

I've managed to crawl over the central console and am practically in Sandro's lap, desperately kicking out at Rocco who's trying to grab me.

He manages to grab one of my legs, dragging me towards him. Before I can even react, he has flipped me over his shoulder, leaving me dangling five feet above the ground. I shriek in horror, absolutely hating heights.

"Let me down let me down!" I cry out.

"Okay, as you wish!" He replies.

"No no no no noooooo!" I shout as he quickly drops me.

I brace myself for the hard concrete landing, but am shocked when I find myself in the lap of Elijah.

All of a sudden, I feel fingers digging into my waist and laughter bubbling out of my throat.

He's... tickling me? Rocco is tickling me?

"Ahahhahahahahahahahaha st-stop ahahaha! Ro-cco l- let m- let me g- go." I squeak out, twisting and turning to try avoid his tickling.

"Rocco don't kill my kid." I hear Alessandro say from the front.

"Okay okay. I'll let her go." He replies before slowly letting me go, but not before giving my hair a ruffle.

He shuts the door to the back seats before climbing into the front.

"Hey! You've stolen my seat! No fair!" I whine out.

He gives a husky laugh in response. "Not my fault that you're a literal feather."

I huff out in annoyance, before realising I'm still in Elijah's lap.

I turn to look at him curiously, wondering why he didn't kick me off as soon as I had landed on him.

The only response he gives is glaring at me harshly and lifting me off his lap by my underarms, like a child, and dumping me into the middle seat. Glaring at him in return, I am met with his harsh tone. "Put on your fucking seatbelt."

"Ask nicely." I reply, annoyed and crossing my arms across my chest.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

Little would I think at the beginning of this day that I would be on my way with my brothers to a restaurant for dinner, arguing over the front seat and almost being tickled to death over it.

"Hey you little shit. I'm you're fucking brother and I'm over 7 years older than you. Have some fucking respect." He says annoyed.

"Respect? RESPECT?" I shout.

And that is when all hell went loose...

Hello!

I am so sorry for not updating earlier. My life's been pretty hectic these past few weeks😅

And guess what...

(Drumroll please)

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

I DID MY KARATE BLACK BELT EXAM THIS WEEK!!!

I really hope I passed cause I've been working really hard on it🤞🤞🤞

But yeah anyways that's why I've not been able to really update much😅 Been going on runs and swims and training sessions really heavily these past few months.

And not only that but I have A-Level predicted grades in a few weeks?!

I haven't even started revising I don't even know what I'm gonna do🥲

Anyways, hope you enjoy the new chapter and see you soon!