"I will never fit in. That's one of my best qualities." - Unknown

~Recap~ (Lila's POV)

The only response he gives is glaring at me harshly and lifting me off his lap by my underarms, like a child, and dumping me into the middle seat. Glaring at him in return, I am met with his harsh tone. "Put on your fucking seatbelt."

"Ask nicely." I reply, annoyed and crossing my arms across my chest.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

Little would I think at the beginning of this day that I would be on my way with my brothers to a restaurant for dinner, arguing over the front seat and almost being tickled to death over it.

"Hey you little shit. I'm you're fucking brother and I'm over 7 years older than you. Have some fucking respect." He says annoyed.

"Respect? RESPECT?" I shout.

And that is when all hell went loose...

~Now~ (Lila's POV)

"What the fuck do you mean respect? Why the fuck should I respect you when you don't even give two shits about me?" I shout at him.

He turns in his seat to look at me, his breathing fast and eyes wide and red with anger. "Are you fucking deaf? I just said I'm 7 years older than you! That means I have power over you. You are my little sister, key word being LITTLE. Older siblings always get respect from their younger siblings. I'm older than you, wiser than you, I have more authority, more power, more of everything! So watch you're words carefully, little girl." He sneers down at me, towering over me with his huge frame.

"Alright that's enough!" Sandro booms from the front seat.

But his shouts fall on deaf ears.

Now I'm not gonna lie, I'm hella intimidated right now. I wouldn't usually be, but Elijah is double my size. I don't even think I can wrap my arms around one of his biceps.

But I guess I've gotta fake it till you make it right?

"You're such a fucking TWAT! You DON'T get respect just from those things. You may be older than me, you may be bigger than me, you CERTAINLY are NOT SMARTER than me, you may have more power in the house, but that DOES NOT mean I should respect you."

"And anyways, why should I respect someone who is so blatantly ignorant, so rude, so fucking selfish. Someone who only thinks of himself, someone who wrongfully accused a little kid of killing her parents and her twin. Someone who thinks his little sister was capable of that! And let's not forget, someone who is an ABSOLUTE FUCKING IDIOT!"

My breaths are getting shorter. My eyes wider.

Anger is flowing through my veins.

And there is so much anger.

It's uncontrollable.

Words are tumbling out of my mouth. I don't know what I'm saying. I can't even hear my own voice anymore.

The only thing I can hear is the rushing of blood through my veins.

The only thing I can feel is pure anger. Pure, unfiltered, unapologetic anger.

I know I am saying things. I can tell my the shocked faces of my brothers and the slight movement of my mouth and face.

But the only brother I am focusing on is Elijah.

His stupid face is staring at me with shock. And it is making me so fucking furious. I just want- I just want to-

I just want to punch it.

And that is just what I do.

Before I can even react, hell before anyone else can even react, my fist meets the side of Elijah's face, breaking into his nose and jaw.

A loud crack fills the car, the first real noise I have heard in a while.

And I thought that would be it. I thought I would be done. I mean, surely punching my brother square in the face would be enough revenge, right?

And oh boy was I wrong.

My punches keep coming, raining down onto him like a thunderstorm.

Punch after punch, my fists peltered his body and face.

Across his face, on his abdomen and chest, his head and ears, all over him. Anywhere I could reach was being attacked violently and brutally.

My eyes have tunnel vision, only focussing in on him and attacking him.

And I don't know how to stop. I don't even know if I WANT to stop.

The world faded before my eyes, my surroundings blurring and black spots filling their place.

The anger is like nothing I've felt before.

I can feel the blood dripping down my knuckles.

I can see his mouth moving, a small plea of mercy slipping from his lips.

Why isn't he fighting back?

Before I can question it more, hands have grabbed me under my arms and have ripped me away from him.

I kick and kick in response, attacking the hands that are pulling me away from landing my attacks on Elijah.

"LET GO OF ME! GET OFF! LET GO LET GO LET GO!" I cry, twisting and flailing my limbs in any and every direction.

I feel my feet and hands bang into people and the car as I continue to punch and kick, but none of the abrasions stop my attacks.

I am eventually wrangled away from Elijah and into something soft. Someone's lap?

"GET OFF OF ME! GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!" I continue scream out.

My heart beating pounds my head, filling it with a monotone droning sound.

Hands are on me, wrapping around my like a vice.

They grasp my hands and arms, holding them close to my body.

They grab my legs, keeping them close together and preventing them from kicking out.

Arms grip my shoulders, preventing me from trashing around further.

However I still try, moving as much as possible.

And all of a sudden, my eyes suddenly lose their tunnel vision.

My ears stop blocking out the world and the sounds of shouting and whimpers fill my ears.

The anger leaves my body in a quick flush, my cheeks burning red in exhaustion.

I continue fighting as the anger drains out.

I'm exhausted.

From my brothers returning to the panic attacks, the mental health issues to the physical ones, I can't seem to catch a break.

Sounds are rushing into my head and ears quicker than lighting.

"Lila stop fighting!" Sandro shouts sternly.

"Oh my gosh I think she broke my nose. Everything hurts." Elijah says brokenly.

"What the fuck." Rocco says from the front seat, half turned in his chair in order to keep my legs as still as possible.

And it's all too much. Too many sounds. Too many voices. Too many hands keeping me still and too many thoughts rushing into my brain and too many images flashing through my mind and all of a sudden it becomes too much too much too much.

Tears spring to my eyes.

Why am I crying?

Too many emotions too many regrets too many thoughts and I don't know what to do what to do what to do.

And I just want things to go back to the way they were. I want to be cuddled up in my mothers arms, my twin sister on her other side.

I want to be young again, to have no problems other than which brother's bed I would be snuggling into that night (although it was usually Sandro's.)

I want to have no worries, no problems.

I want to just be a kid.

"AAAAARGHHHH GET OOOOOFFF!!!" I wail and screech.

And the car finally goes silent.

No screaming.

No shouts.

Not a cry.

I hang my head in shame as all eyes look at me.

Confusion. Worry. Fear.

Emotions that are flashing across all of their faces.

I gasp for breaths.

In. Out. In. Out.

It's not working.

I don't know what to do what to do what to do.

I'm falling down a hole so deep that I can't seem to climb out. Can't escape.

I think I've been falling for years though. Since I was kidnapped. Since I lost my twin. Since I lost my parents.

Since I lost my brothers.

A voice pulls me out of the hole momentarily.

"Deep breaths. Come on sweetheart." A low voice whispers.

Sandro.

"Come on. In and out. Just like we practiced the other day. In and out. There you go."

A gentle hand rubbing my back.

Angelo.

And for a moment, something inside me shifts.

It's almost as if I believe that they love me.

Maybe just them two. Angelo and Sandro.

But my heart changes. My heart believes them. Just for a moment at least.

My lungs fill and my heart stops burning. My head stops pounding. I can suddenly breathe.

I fall back into Angelo's chest, eyes not opening in fear of seeing my brother's gazes.

The car is silent.

No one says anything.

No one makes a move.

Eventually, Sandro sighs.

He starts the car again and pulls out of the lane, continuing to drive to our original destination.

The car is silent, the world is silent.

And the only thing I hear is Angelo's heart beating.

Thump thump.

Thump thump.

Thump thump.

Hello dear reader!

Sorry for the short chapter and the long wait!

It's been a hectic month with predicted exams and revision and sooooo many applications!

I'm so glad it's all over though!

And this means I should be updating a LOT more now!

And it's been a pretty great week I must say.

Biggest news first... TAYLOR SWIFT'S SPEAK NOW OMFG AAAAAHHHH!

Also... I PASSED MY BLACK BELT EXAM WOOOOHOOOOO🥳🥳🥳

Okay enough about me now I'll see you very very soon for another chapter!