Arundelle's POV

I came back into Birch's room, after Hades had informed us of his breakdown and intense panic attack.

I felt so bad for the little guy, the only person he thought loved him... He's now realizing that he was truly alone in that cold, dark house.

I remember how suffocating my own mother made me feel, I felt I was always walking on eggshells around her. Her bipolar disorder was the most chaotic thing I have ever experienced.

She wasn't just screaming at me for nothing, but her anger turned to rage. That rage turned to physical violence that she took out on me.

Her only child, she thought she had a right to treat me as she wished. But, a neighbor of ours called the police one night after a particularly crazy night of her throwing and breaking everything she could get her hands on. She didn't just shatter the glass vases we had, but my confidence and safety as well.

I grew up in constant fear, and I didn't know how to get out of it. So I became quiet, hardly speaking, I was just surviving then.

She got institutionalized in a mental hospital when I was 10, then I moved from Bern to Locarno in Switzerland. Let's just say going from a bustling city to a smaller beach town was hard to adjust to, but it's where my father lived so I had to go.

It was beautiful, I could tell my father didn't ever want me around so I kept to myself. I explored the beach and forest areas around town and even made a cave into my very own sanctuary.

During those few years with my father, I developed a severe case of OCD to help me deal with my trauma. He didn't mind, seeing as I kept the house spotless. But, I soon would freak out if anything was moved out of place.

I would have such a severe reaction to anyone touching me, that I soon developed a phobia of anyone touching me. It didn't matter who it was, I'd freak out and start screaming or would have such a severe panic attack that I'd pass out.

But I could tell my father was done with my shit by the time I was 13. He signed me off to Silas and the institute, it didn't take him long to figure out what afflicted me and how to properly help me and what medications worked and what didn't.

I was the youngest one to join the institute, but Silas could see I needed help, and I needed it bad. I didn't talk for what seemed like forever, but eventually I started to trust them and open up.

I started going to our weekly group sessions, and I started to get better. I have found healthy coping mechanisms like breathing exercises and meditation, instead of unhealthy coping mechanisms like hurting myself.

Once I got comfortable enough, I slowly started designing my bedroom. I soon learned that fuzzy blankets and aromatherapy diffusers are my friends!

It took me at least a year after I came here to truly be comfortable with them. And then they told me about the polyamorous relationship when I turned 18, and asked me to join. I was happy to join, but had to give them my certain parameters around my touching aversion.

The boys were more than happy to go at my pace, which I was relieved with. It wasn't until a few months later that I took another classification test, seeing as my first one was inconclusive.

I turned out to be a mixed classification, which is why my results were inconclusive in the first place. Switches weren't as popular as doms or subs. Most people who are switches end up in one form of a poly relationship or another. But I was part daddy dom and part submissive. Weird, right? But knowing that Silas and Xavier are daddy doms too, really helped me accept that part of myself.

Plus, most of us just choose which side of them they're most comfortable with, but I've never been one to put myself into a box, I am who I am and I'm proud of myself now.

I do sometimes wonder what my father is doing now, I wonder if he ever got remarried or if my mother is still all crazy in her mental hospital or if she's more normal now.

I sigh as I brush Birch's white locks away from his eyes; we were all very surprised when he first looked up at Silas' face and we saw his pretty purple eyes. They are so breathtakingly beautiful and unique, I've never known anyone to have such a unique color before.

I smile as he blinks up his pretty little eyes at me, I've never met anyone before that brought out my daddy dom tendencies, but Birch makes everyone protective of him, even the subs. I could definitely see our very own firecracker, aka Roman fighting tooth and nail for Birch, and that thought made me happy.

I knew that look that he had in his eyes, the pure innocence and trust he had in his eyes made my heart melt.

"Awwwwe, how is my good little boy this morning!" I cooed at him. He giggled at me at started sucking his fingers.

I tutted at him and pulled his very dirty fingers out of his mouth. It kinda grossed me out, and I had no idea if or when was the last time the kid had showered, so I decided now would be bath time.

"No sucking on fingers, buddy, that's what our paci is for. Now, I'll grab one after your bath, deal buddy?" He just giggled and nodded yes at me and we continued on to the bathroom he shared with Basil.

I carefully placed him on the floor, and I know what you're thinking, how could I stand holding another person with my aversions? Easy, Silas has been working on this with me for almost 6 years now and we have come a long way in my recovery process.

I quickly closed the bathroom door and walked over to the bath, plugged it and started the water. Now on bubbles... we should have some if Basil didn't use them all. That boy loves his bubble baths, he loves his skincare routines and face masks too.

I found part of an almond oil and shea butter bubble bath, I almost laughed at the scents that Basil chooses. I'll definitely have to buy some little boy approved bubble bath and other shower products.

I quickly poured some in and added a scoop of epsom salts, and we were ready for Birch's first bath!

"You okay if I undress you, buddy? Or do you want someone else? Or maybe yourself, hmmm?" I asked him as I brushed the curls from his face. He smiled at the sign of affection and I made a mental note to tell the others that his love language was definitely small touches and most likely praise.

He nodded and pointed at me, I guess he really isn't much of a talker. But that's fine, I've never been much one that talked a lot. But Roman? That boy never shuts up!

I quickly undressed him and threw his dirty clothes in the hamper and unlocked his rib brace and sat it on the countertop. Maybe I should clean it? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, I feel like there's tons of germs all over it.

I turned back to Birch and then placed him in the bath. He giggled and played with the bubbles, he was so precious and cute!

I almost cried when I saw his scars all over his body, especially his back, that one was the worst. We'd have to make sure Jewel doesn't see it for awhile, he's so sensitive and kindhearted, it would break his heart to see that Birch went through that pain.

I quickly washed him, he was really dirty and the water was almost brown when I was finished. But I let Birch play in the bath more as I scrubbed under his fingernails and did a secondary rinse to make sure he was germ free.

Once I was happy with it, I unplugged the tub and got out our cute little baby. I dried him off and we brushed his teeth until I was happy that all the germs were gone.

He snuggled into my chest as I decided I'd dress him in my room, he didn't really have much of anything. I know Silas mentioned buying him some clothes soon, but I might have to mention some little boy options too.

I cuddled him close to my chest as I wrapped his towel tighter around him and made my way towards my room on the second floor.

I looked down at his flushed cheeks and saw that he was sucking on his fingers and getting drool all over my shirt, I almost cringed at that but decided that I had more important things to focus on now. I can always change my shirt in a few moments.

I was particularly surprised that I didn't run into anyone on my way down to my room, but most of the boys would be outside at this time anyways. It's such a nice day out, maybe Birch might like to play outside in a bit?

Once I got to my room, I placed him on my bed and went into my closet and quickly changed my shirt and got him a T-shirt with basketball shorts and some boxers. It was much too warm out for sweatpants today and he'd be more comfortable on something that could be adjusted to his small size.

I quickly dressed Birch and he looked like the too small for me clothes were eating him alive!

I picked him back up once I put some slides on his feet and we headed down to the kitchen, I figured a banana would be a good snack.

He squealed once he saw the fruit bowl, apparently he saw something he really wanted!

"Na-na! Nana!" He kept chanting in my ear, which made me chuckle at his cuteness. I unpeeled the banana and fed it to him. After a few moments Silas came in the room and Birch squealed when he saw him.

Silas was surprised to say the least, and gave me a questioning look. I just gave him a later move with my hand and he nodded at that and picked up the little tyke from my lap.

"Awwwe, do we have a little boy on our hands?" He said as he gave him a forehead kiss.

Birch nodded excitedly and said, "Yeah! I has bath wit bubbies and a nana, daddy!"

I could see the tears of affection that brimmed in Silas' eyes as Birch called him daddy, it's something he has been looking for all his life. And at that moment, I knew that Birch was the missing puzzle piece that made us all a true family.