Myka's POV

"No! I won't lower my voice! I'm so tired of being silenced and.... So controlled!" My breathing picked up as my panic rose, the pain ebbing across my chest in waves.

Silas looked at me with sad eyes and said, "Myka, we're not trying to control you, we just want to help you."

Help me? Help me?! No one can help me, my light went out years ago. There's nothing that can put me back together again, I'm broken.

My hands shake as I wind up my muscles as I ball my hands into fists and mutter, "That was my older brother, my other half. You don't get it cause you hate your family but mine was the most happy family."

Until my brother killed himself.

I still have trouble excepting that sad fact, that things got so bad for him that he killed himself to rid himself of the pain.

I always tell myself that my family was the most happy, but in reality we weren't. We also weren't rich in any respect, but at least we had each other.

"And I couldn't stop him from killing himself! In turn, that killed me inside." I exclaimed through my pain.

Silas looked at me with pain in his eyes and said, "I know you're still hurting, but constantly reflecting back on your pain is only doing you harm. Let's work on processing through the events leading up to his suicide."

I took a deep breath and said, "I couldn't be there when it got too much, I never even noticed that anything was wrong." Tears ran down my face as I remembered how much my brother was hurting.

"You were only a child..." Silas started to say before I interrupted him.

"I now see that he pushed me away, all of us away to make it easier on him. I thought he hated me, all this time I failed to realize that he hated himself."

Part of me hates me too.

Besides, I already died thirteen years ago but nobody noticed because the person who killed my soul was my brother. He killed me over and over again, but nobody noticed because the blood oozing from my wounds was invisible. It ran clear, infecting my soul and every part of my being felt... wrong, like I wasn't supposed to be here anymore.

Only I could see and feel the bright crimson puddle of anguish I was endlessly immersed in, it was my only constant in my life after my twin killed himself.

It was my only constant in this terrible bleak world I was in... the feeling of loosing him took up my whole soul, I knew I'd never recover from it.

Silas looked me in the eyes and said, "I used to believe communication is key until I realized that comprehension is. You can communicate with someone until you're blue in the face, but if they don't truly understand you then it's just silent chaos."

I looked at him as he said those words, and in that moment I felt so seen. I felt like someone truly knew me, I know I love the guys and our life here but until now I just felt like I was in the background. A wallflower, just decoration.

I gave him a small smile as I nodded at him, I knew I'd be okay here