Ric's POV

"Amatto!" A deep voice shouts from the entrance of the locker room.

"Yeah?" I call out, while tossing my shirt over my head, fixing it.

Aj, one of Mr. Matteo's guys, turns the corner rushing into the room, concern written all over his face.

"Dude" he pants while he leans against the lockers as I continue to get dressed.

I had just finished my knife training about an hour ago and was still in the warehouse changing because perusal I decided to shower here rather than at home. I hated being there for so long, I hate being alone nowadays, afraid of falling back into my head, afraid of falling back down.

"Y-you gotta go, you gotta get the fuck out of here."

I frown mentally shaking off the familiar unwelcoming feeling, "the hell are you talking about, Bejarano?"

"The boss," he continued to catch his breath. "The kid messed up- he's in a bad mood again."

I deepen my frown almost immediately, confused, "Nicco?"

He nods his head, his features turning completely serious, "they're putting him in the ring."

Fuck.

Chills instantly begin to run up my spine.

The last time anyones ever been in the ring, on the mats, was the night that I got the living shit beat out of me; initiation night.

Guys only ever get thrown in the ring to be made examples out of because they either pissed the boss off or Dominic, or they genuinely fucked up and Mr. Matteo needs some entertainment before putting an end to them.

Carmelo leaves little room for mistakes, especially nowadays since his son and new daughter in law are gone.

He's been overworking us to death practically with the new security team that he's bringing into play for his family, especially for red.

It was Isaac's one and only condition, which makes sense after everything they've been through, everything Reds endured, but having his son so far away from him has definitely made the boss the worst person to be around.

Mr. Matteo was in a constant bad mood the second he stepped into the warehouse and even when he was gone the shitty mood projected into his top tier men and it continued to linger in the warehouse. I can't begin to imagine how much worse things would be should Red and Isaac choose to actually leave the state.

Normally when someone gets thrown into the mats they're usually fighting for their life's against one person and one person only to make it fair but I had another thing coming my way because I had personally pissed off the boss.

Pissed off is actually an understatement, I had done the unthinkable, I gave up on my family, I threw away my loyalty, my backbone for not sticking up for myself, for letting my father walk all over me, letting him meddle with my life.

Honestly, I didn't expect to come out alive that night when I heard how many guys I was going to have to go against. Not many people can survive rounds and rounds of getting beat especially when you're not supposed to fight back but at the same time you're also not allowed to bitch out.

Carmelo made it pretty clear hours before the big night that he was aware of Carmen, that if I fought back it would go way worse for my friend and then proceeded to show footage proof of the SUV's parked in her neighborhood.

He never once mentioned Carmen's name though, or her relationship to me, he simply kept referring her to as my little friend and tossed pictures of us together on campus, of us everywhere; it was pretty stupid of me to think I could hide her from him even if I was out.

The second I had some alone time i tried calling Carmen to warn her to get the fuck out of the city, but of course she still hated me and still had my number blocked.

She never answered private calls or unknown number anymore because I had begged her not to for her safety, and although I was proud of her for listening I was furious that I couldn't warn her and keep her safe so I did the only thing I could do at the time, I took the beating if it meant she wouldn't get hurt.

I never expected KP to step out into the ring though, and the second he did I knew I was fucking done.

I knew if I didn't at least try to keep my composure, attempt to fight back that not only would Carmelo kill me but he would most likely take his anger out on his son so instead I let his son take it out on me. I recognized the look on KP's face that night, he was no longer in control of his emotions his dad was. Carmelo had gotten into his son's head like he normally did and if I didn't fight back KP would for sure kill me.

I nearly lost my shit when I fell to the ground and felt him get on top of me and start hitting me in the face, the stomach, any area I left uncovered and could feel myself losing consciousness, but I couldn't hit him back, I couldn't fight back, I didn't want to.

I knew if I started swinging back it would just fuel Isaac's rage and excite him that I was putting up a fight, he always liked a challenge, but I couldn't let him knock me out. I had to keep dodging him and I tried my best up until I was taking a knee and then a foot to the face and everything after that just went black.

I for sure thought I was dead up until I was waking up with Carmelo sitting in front of me and knew I was back in hell, wishing that Isaac would've just killed me instead because anything would've been better than waking up.

I wasn't panicking just yet until he brought Carmen up all over again, asking what I had done with her, indicating that he knew I tried to reach out to her, he knew I tried to warn her and it was game over after that, I couldn't keep my composure but was thankful that I had cut her off completely so I wouldn't have had to lie to him, not that I ever had the chance.

It was just my pure luck that I just so happened to be the last one on the mats because I was about to be thrown back in and fight for my fucking life again, for my fucking worth for a second time.

The last guy always gets summoned to go back into the mats to rough up the guy that's being thrown in, giving both men a chance at redemption which is fucking bullshit because I think I've proven my worth multiple fucking times now.

It's very rare when both guys are allowed to come out both breathing and even then if they both do the boss makes the final decision on who stays and who goes, and I'm hoping that tonight's one of those nights because I actually like Nicco and don't want to hurt him.

Aj and I have actually gotten pretty close throughout the last month, we've been spending a lot of time together, mainly because of training. Carmelo had paired us up together one morning and apparently liked the way we worked together and we're officially paired as partners in his new security team.

Turns out that the fucker was also a pretty funny dude and we actually started hanging out after work, going on rides together because Aj was just as obsessed with bikes as I was.

Little did I know was that Adolfo was a friendly mother fucker who wanted to be friends with anyone so he had Nicco and Ian tagging along with him.

Ian and Aj was actually the boss and Don's doing, apparently they wanted him to have a little more social skills and who better than to bring him out of his comfort zone, Adolfo.

Babycakes was a stubborn mother fucker though, Aj literally has to drag him out of their place because the boss roomed them up together to help him adapt to the socal life. Whenever he does leave their place you can just tell that he's hating life and does not want to be around anyone, up until Nicco started coming around.

I don't know what the hell the kid did to piss off the boss but I definitely don't want to stick around to find out.

"I need to get the fuck out of here " I say while reaching for my duffle bag.

Aj nods his head, "the back door, go through the back, I'll keep look out."

I place my hand on his shoulder, "thanks man, keep me updated."

"Wait here," he says and starts taking a few steps back. "I'll whistle if the coast is clear."

I nod my head and watch him leave the locker room, slowly inching my way in the same direction he just left from. Only shitty thing was that the back door exit was in the warehouse rather than in the locker room so I needed to be quick before I got spotted by one of the other guys.

I wait patiently by the entrance of the locker room when Aj is sending his signal a second later and I'm hauling ass towards the back of the warehouse. I don't bother looking behind me and keep going straight towards the door, immediately relieved that I made it out when I finally reach the door, or so I thought.

Beanie and Vito are standing outside of the warehouse, wide grins on their faces.

Vito holds up his hand in front of him, his smiling only growing more and more, "surprise!" And is instantly yanking my duffle bag away from me as Beanie takes a step forward.

"You're a fucking idiot if you really thought you could sneak off," he growls placing his hands on my chest, shoving me back.

"I wasn't-"

"Shut the fuck up and save it," he snarls while grabbing me by the back of my shirt, dragging me back into the building as Vito follows behind him with my bag.

I look up in front of me to find most of the guys in the warehouse now huddling around the middle where the mats are at, to find Aj standing in the crowd with a disappointed look on his face, probably because I didn't make it out on time.

Mr. Matteo stands near him with Dominic standing right at his side, a sinister glare on the boss's face as Beanie continues to drag me in that direction and is pushing me toward him the second we're a couple feet away and I'm careful to catch myself.

"Where the hell did you think you could go, Patricio?" Mr. Matteo fumed, his arms crossed along his chest. "Let's have some fun before you decide to piss me off."

I nod, "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, Amatto, I'm not targeting you tonight."

The double doors to the warehouse slam open and I'm quickly looking in that direction to find two of Carmelo's men dragging an already badly beaten Nicco in our direction, dropping him on the mats as they quickly make their way off of it.

Dejavú immediately hits me as I watch Nicco slowly attempt to get up on his feet, he already looks done and I haven't even touched him.

Carmelo takes a step forward the second Nicco gets up on his feet.

"To prove to you that I'm not a fucking monster I won't give you the same faith Patricio had the last time he was in here, Nicco, I'll give you you're one on one, I'll give you your fighting chance to prove you're not an entire fuck up, that I didn't just waste seven months of my fucking life thinking you were worthy to be in this family. So please change my mind, show me what you're worth."

Nicco looks in my direction as Carmelo takes a step back standing right next to me and lowers his voice, "my son and Hailey are back in town so make it quick, Ric, I want Nicco fucking lifeless."

Fuck me.

"Sir-"

"Don't fucking disappoint me, Amatto."

I nod my head and shut the fuck up and start to make my way onto the mats, heading in Nicco's direction.

He doesn't waste any time and is instantly charging in my direction, swinging at air as I dodge everyone one of his attempts to hit me and immediately feel bad that this fight definitely won't be fair, he's already tired, he's already exhausted, already hurting, he's already moving slow.

Sensing his frustration Nicco takes a couple steps forward and attempts to kick me rather than attempt to hit me and makes the mistake of going for my rib cage rather than a low kick because I'm quickly blocking his kick.

I grab hold of his leg as he swings it up and hold it as I wrap the back of my leg around his free one causing him to lose his balance, dropping him to the ground.

I'm about to drop down on top of him and start pounding on his face when he's quickly rolling over and getting back onto his feet, pulling something out from behind him, a knife.

Oh so that's how we're fighting, dirty, okay.

He quickly holds up the knife out in front of us as if I'm actually supposed to be afraid of it, as if he weren't doing me any favors by actually taking me out of this life, not that he'd actually have the chance because I'm done being nice here, if we're fighting desperate then lemme get on my a game and stop feeling guilty for his sorry ass.

In less than a second I'm taking a step forward and wrapping my left arm around his right one and hitting him in the face with my free hand.

He definitely doesn't expect the hit because before he can react I'm quickly placing my hand at the back of his neck, pulling him down as my left arm continues to hang onto his, the hand that still clings onto the blade.

Lifting my right knee up I send a couple good kicks into his gut and he's instantly gasping for air, losing his grip on the knife.

Fucking up Nicco.

Noticing the slight gesture I quickly go to grab the knife, easily taking it away from him and don't think I just do. I jam it straight into his back as he cries out in pain and I'm pulling the blade out and shoving it into his lower stomach.

He instantly looks up at me in pain, his eyes pleading to make the pain stop, beginning without saying anything out loud because we both know if he does he'll get a punishment far worse than death.

Same thing goes for me basically.

I can't mess this up after everything I've gone through, everything I've done to earn Carmelo trust again, if I go easy on the kid, if I feel any type of remorse, any type of sympathy it's me in his shoes and I'm done for.

Either Nicco decides to fight back and actually pins me on my ass and proves his worth ending my life, or it's Carmelo tormenting the hell out of me and I can't go through that type of pain again, I won't.

As much as I like Nicco I value my stupid pity life; better him than me.

Tightening my grip around the knife I slightly turn it causing him to cry out loud and pull it out only to shove it into his upperside, into his lung and he's immediately gasping for air as his eyes begin to fill up with tears.

I've fought too damn hard to go back to being nothing, I won't lose myself again, I won't lose Carmen again, I will fight for what's mine this time rather than shutting everything and everyone out.

"R-Ric," Nicco stammers as his hand flys up to my arm, attempting weakly to pull my hand from the blade.

I want to comfort him, I want to apologize out loud, reassurance him that he didn't do anything wrong that I don't hate him, that he's not alone, it's not personal, that if it weren't for this lifestyle I wouldn't be doing what I'm about to do so instead I pull out the knife and bring him in ever closer.

"I'll make it quick," I tell him and quickly run the blade across his throat before he can say anything else, letting his body drop to the floor.

A loud eruption of hands clapping instantly starts up and I'm dropping the blade onto the mats and it's landing right next to Nicco's bleeding body.

I turn to look back over at the boss to find his arms still folded across his chest, a now small smile plastered on his face as Don leaves his side and is walking in my direction.

He places a hand on my shoulder as he passes by, "good job kid, go home and rest."

I nod my head quietly noticing that Aj is still standing near Mr. Matteo but now Ian is standing right next to him an ugly twisted expression on his face as Aj leans in to whisper something in his ear but he quickly dismisses him and is taking off a couple seconds later leaving Aj hanging.

Metcalf is probably going to hate me now for killing the one person he liked, which means it's probably going to make it awkward now whenever I go over to their place.

Great, it's like the only thing I'm good at is making friends and losing them. Thanks boss.

The doors to the warehouse open up and Isaac comes walking through the doors, heading towards his father.

I inhale a deep breath already dreading the awkward conversation we're going to have and head in their direction.

My friendship with Isaac was pretty nonexistent right now, it actually hasn't really been the same since I left the family but happened to get even worse when I was initiated back in.

I've tried reaching out a couple times here and there but nothing gives, at this point I don't know if it's a pride thing or if Isaac genuinely just doesn't trust me anymore. Funny thing is how he worked so hard to get me back in because he knew how mentally fucked up I was and I feel just as lonely now as I did a year ago.

Dion on the other hand hasn't changed one bit but he has his baby girl on the way and is moving on with life therefore I tend not to bother him and keep to myself and force a smile on my face not to worry him but I'm starting to suffocate all over again.

I come to quick hoult when Mr. Matteo turns around, giving me his back and walks over towards his son, embracing him in an overly large hug. Isaac embraces his dad in return and is looking in my direction a second later nodding his head.

I nod and watch both of them walk away and walk towards his dad's office a little greatful that Carmelo is being entertained with his son and I can finally get out of here.

A loud whistle behind me catches my attention and I'm turning back around to find Aj walking in my direction, his bag hanging over his shoulder.

"You good?" He asked, handing the bag over.

I take it from him and nod quietly.

He frowns for a second, "wanna go for a ride? Take the edge off?"

I shake my head no, "honestly I just want to go home and shower."

"For sure, don't hesitate to hit me up," he sticks his hand out in front of him. "I got you remember."

"I know, thanks," I stick my hand in his, pulling him in for a bro hug.

"Don't stress over cakes, Ric, he knows it wasn't personal. He'll come around."

I shrug my shoulders, getting a better hold of my duffle, "he's your friend not mine."

Aj cracks a small smile, "be nice, he's our friend."

"I'm not even sure if we're friends, I'm still debating if I like you," I tease, attempting to lift my own mood.

"Oh," he chuckles deeply. "The boss's son is back for a couple minutes and suddenly we're not friends anymore?"

This makes me laugh and I'm lifting my hand back up in between us, "thanks man, I needed that laugh."

He claps his hand with mine for a second time, "like I said man, I got you."

"I'll hit you up later tonight for a night ride?"

"Bike therapy? I'll be there," he smiles.

We say our goodbye one last time before I'm turning around and heading towards the double doors and making my way to the parking lot and towards my car.

I feel my phone begin to vibrate in my bag and quickly reach for it and pull it out. I immediately roll my eyes when I recognize the unsave number but answer it anyway like I always do.

"Madison."

"Hi," her voice is soft and gentle as it always is when she calls me.

"What's up?" I asked cutting straight to the chase, knowing damn well she's calling me for one reason and one reason only.

Sex.

Madison and I started hooking up almost about a year ago when I was in a really bad place and I've tried to cut it off multiple times, especially because I knew she had deeper feelings for me than I did for her. She knew about Carmen. I made it perfectly clear what she meant to me, but my relationship with Carmen right now was beyond complicated.

I loved the woman to death but she still couldn't decide whether she hated me or not because even though Carmelo has allowed her to be back in my life it was still all at his convenience.

I'm allowed to talk to her but seeing her was another story. I had to get permission from the boss man himself if I could fly out there or fly her here. I hadn't seen in almost a month now, and the weekend that I did fly out there we spent the entire weekend arguing, which just so happens to be the same weekend that KP and red got married, coincidence I think not.

I personally don't think Carmelo wanted me around which is probably why he offered that I go take a break and see my girlfriend.

I obviously got Hailey and Isaac's permission, I was in no way about to miss their wedding without them being okay with it. Red understood where I was coming from just like I knew she would and practically begged me to go see her best friend so I missed their wedding and still regret it.

"You busy tonight?" Madison's voice brings me back to reality.

"I might be," I answer dryly as I dig into my shorts and pull my keys out, opening my trunk.

Madison stays quiet as I toss my duffel bag in and slam my trunk shut.

"You working?"

"I am."

"Ric-"

"Why do you continue to drag this out, Madison?" I talk above her voice, growing frustrated with the back and forth. "Why the hell do you continue to let me hurt you when you know my heart is elsewhere," I admit bluntly.

Don't be a prick, it's not her fault you're in a shitty mood dick head.

"Why do you continue to answer my phone calls, my messages, if you love her so much," she bites back as I get into my car and start the engine, sulking into my seat.

"Because I'm an asshole, Maddy! God do you not know what kind of guy I am yet? If you're gonna continue to throw yourself at me I'll gladly accept that invitation every time because it's what guys like me do. I feed off of your need, at the end of the day you're here and she's over there."

"So then are you coming over or am I going over there?"

I inhale a deep breath and exhale slowly, "be at my place in half an hour."

*** Ugh Ric what is you doing baby 🥺 anyways surprise double update! Lol I was too excited for you guys to get into Rics head for a little bit so I couldn't wait to upload this chapter, hope you guys enjoyed.