SURPRISE 🤗 Since some many of you practically begged me for the next chapter, here ya go my babies, your wish is my command. Unfortunately this one doesn't start where we left off, it goes back to when everything happened, explaining some bits and pieces in Cris's POV. I've never had to this before but this chapter will contain some TW, SA will be brought up so please, please, read with caution. It doesn't happen but it doesn't get talked about, like always happy reading babies 🩶

Roxwell's POV

I sit in the same damn chair that I've been sitting in for the past fourteen days.

I sit beside the same damn hospital bed, listening to the same damn equipment that I personally bought for this asshole- beep in rhythm as the heart monitor continues to do its job.

Carmelo has been in a medically induced coma for the past fourteen days but has refused to wake up- even after we lifted the medicine that he was being drugged with.

I get up every morning praying to God that this man has fought his way through all the Xylazine he made me inject him with but every time that I come and check on him he's still asleep, still unconscious, still unresponsive.

I nervously shake my right leg up and down, amazed that our plan is actually working, still in shock that his son actually bought his death.

I'm not a man that has very much anxiety, not many things in this life makes me nervous, but watching Isaac step into that OR to check if his father was actually dead probably had to be the most nerve wracking moment of my life.

I knew nothing about Xylazine, I didn't even know how it worked, all I knew was that it was a sedative for animals and it was extremely dangerous to humans.

I tried doing as much research as I could on the drug the second Carmelo left my home, I for one didn't want to actually send this man to his real death.

The drug was known to apparently be a tranq in the streets and extremely hard to get your hands on it, so how the hell did this man have multiple syringes of it?

I spent hours trying to convince him to come up with another plan, injecting him with such a lethal sedative honestly made me really uncomfortable, but he shut me down everytime.

The drug was known to drop a person's blood pressure extremely low, dangerously low, while also slowing down their heartbeat and breathing to the point where it almost mirrors a flatline, and that's exactly what it did.

It completely immobilized him that I almost believed he was dead and began to panic.

I held the doctor back at gunpoint, shouting at him to hook him back up to the heart monitor, prove that he was still alive, that he was still breathing, and was instantly relieved when the very slow heartbeat began to beep but still could not shake the nervous feeling off and went back to Carmelo's master plan.

I instructed the doctor to unplug him again and move the machinery out of the way, to go break the news to his son that he hadn't survived the surgery.

He of course didn't want anything to do with our plan to begin with but Carmelo had literally planned for everything and gave me a file on the surgeon's family. I now had his wife and seventeen year old son as insurance, leverage.

Unfortunately Dr. Richards isn't allowed to go home free until Isaac is aware that his dad is still very much alive.

Very few people on my side know of Carmelo's plan and he intends on keeping it that way.

I could either take Dr. Richards out as soon as Carmelo comes to and is stable enough or I can keep him captive until everything's out in the open and let him live.

I quickly exited the OR that evening and snuck into the one across the hall; my men were in here a couple days ago switching out the glass window and replacing it with a one way glass.

Carmelo was very thorough with his plan and instructed or more like demanded I should say, that I watch his son come view his body because he knew they would want proof, his men need to see the body in order to believe that he's actually dead.

Isaac and I definitely have our own differences and we hardly ever see eye to eye but under the egotistical alpha, he's not a bad guy.

I'll never admit this out loud but Carmelo definitely raised his son to be one hell of a man, he's actually one of the strongest guys that I know.

How could you not be with a father like Carmelo raising you?

I haven't always thought that though, the younger me, immature version of me hated him, envied him.

I only just recently started admiring his strength and the person he is after everything went down with my family, after getting shot by my own blood, after he almost lost red.

I've watched Isaac legitimately go through hell and back and have never once seen him break, not until he stepped into that OR at least.

I watched him step inside and walk over to the medical table his father was lying on, as two more men, Beanie and Dominic, from what I remember, walk in after him.

Carmelo mentioned that he was only comfortable going through with this plan because he knew he would be leaving his son behind in good hands. Reassuring himself that he had two specific men that would look after his son and be there for him every step of the way, guiding him, meaning Beanie and Dominic.

I watch the man that Carmelo raised his son to be- completely become undone and fall apart in that operating room the second he nears that hospital table and begin to crumble.

I watched both of Carmelo's men rush over to Isaac, quickly catching him as he threatened to fall to the ground and cry his heart out.

I remember the sudden pain that took over him, the guilt that immediately washed over me as I watched Carmelo's second in command kneel right in front of Isaac and help him work through what I can only assume was a panic attack, as the other guy attempted to get him off of the floor.

A part of me was actually relieved that I couldn't hear everything that was going on in that room because I could feel Matteo's pain through the walls. I could hear the desperation in the men's voices as they attempted to get Isaac to calm down and breathe, as they tried to put him back together for their empire's sake.

I actually had to turn around myself and walk away from the window because it was pure torture having to watch that scene, having to hold myself back from stepping out of the OR I was hiding in and march in there. I almost wanted to tell him what his father was up to, that he was alive, but I couldn't. I had made a promise to Carmelo and I didn't intend on breaking it.

Carmelo planned this entire thing solely based on the initiative of protecting his family, keeping them safe and even though I didn't really much care for The Matteo's to begin with- there was one person I actually cared about who was now a part of their family; Hailey.

Ricci and Matteo definitely weren't wrong when he accused me of having a soft spot for Red when we ran into each other inside a store last year. I did have a soft spot for Hailey, I just never realized it until she came to visit me in the hospital that one day.

I nearly wanted to kill my own cousin when I heard what he had done, when I saw her lying unconscious on that dirty small mattress inside of my family's warehouse. I wasn't strong enough then to stand up to my own blood and I'll always live with that regret but if Carmelo's taught me anything throughout these past few months, blood doesn't make you family.

Carmelo's actually made me feel far more welcomed and accepted than my own uncle ever did.

Funny thing is I had already known that my father was dead when the other families tried to trauma dump on me. I knew what they were doing, what they were up to, they were trying to get me back on their side, little did they know that my uncle had already beaten them to the chase.

He did it for the exact same reasons they did it. He needed me to know what kind of man Carmelo Matteo really was, he needed to know that he was leaving his family, his legacy, not that it was much, in good hands though after his son's death, wanting me to avenge Ax's death.

What I didn't know though was that my uncle had been the one to pay Carmelo off to do it, but I wouldn't put it past him therefore I really didn't care, but Carmelo said it needed to look like I had a vengeance still.

I needed to convince his son that I could be capable of going after The King myself while trying to convince the other two families that I was back on their side, I was still Carmelo's inside man, I was still working under his wing.

I tipped the other families off. I told them that Carmelo and his son would be at my house attempting to make amends. I had my men override the tracker on Carmelo's G wagon through his cell phone while we sat in my office talking so they would know his exact location and when to hit him.

I gave Carmelo a bullet with my own fingerprints on it the night before just in case his son needed someone to blame.

I put Carmelo's master plan into motion, into play, but in the end he pulled the trigger, he wedged a bullet into his own chest; there was no way in hell that they would get through the polycarbonate glass in his windshield.

I didn't go collect Carmelo's body until after his funeral. I actually had to inject him with Xylazine multiple times to keep him in his immobilized state and it was a damn good thing too because Isaac needed to check that his father was gone more than once, just like Carmelo mentioned that he would.

That same uneasy feeling from before, from that night is back now, now I'm panicking that we might've over done it, that we might've exceeded the maximum dosage a human can tolerate, that we killed him, that I really did kill The King of New York City.

I close the book that's on my lap, frustrated that Carmelo has not made any type of improvement.

I get up and take a step forward and lean down about halfway, jabbing my book into his chest, "your son will fucking kill me if you don't wake up, Matteo! How the fuck am I suppose to explain this?!"

Nothing, silence still.

I shake my head and toss my book onto the counter beside the bed getting ready to leave the room when chills are instantly running up my spine and neck when I hear a deep gasp from behind me.

I turn back around to find Carmelo sitting up in bed, a hand on his chest, awake and alert, as he attempts to catch his breath from his coughing, removing wires from his body, pulling them off and I'm quickly bolting for the bed when he tugs on his IV line.

I place my hand on top of his, preventing him from pulling out the IV, "stop, stop! You're fine, everything's fine!"

He looks up and suddenly begins to frown as he looks me in the eyes, confused.

Fuck. If he doesn't remember who he is, who I am, what happened, what he planned, then I'm a dead man, I'm the enemy again; there's no way I'll come out of this alive.

"Do you know who you are? Who I am?" I questioned.

He stares in my direction a little longer than I would like and eventually nods his head slowly.

"I-isaac?" He croaks, his voice dry and gritty.

I shake my head, "he's fine, he's alive."

Carmelo immediately relaxes and is letting go of the IV, laying back on the bed, wincing from the pain. "H-how long h-has it been?" He rasped.

I reach for one of the sealed water bottles that's on the counter beside the bed and uncap it, handing it over to him, "two weeks," I say as he chugs the water. "They buried you eleven days ago."

"A-adriana?" He questioned, sincere concern in his dry raspy voice.

"Devastated."

Carmelo takes another big chug from the water bottle, leaving only a quarter left of it. "She's gonna hate me," he murmurs. "They both are. Isaac will never forgive me for hurting his mom."

"It'll probably take some time, yeah, but remember you're doing this for them, you're doing this for your grandson. So you can finally live in tranquility."

He nods , "I've never not been in charge, I d-don't know what to do from here."

"Well welcome to your vacation resort," I tease. "You better get comfortable because it doesn't look like your sons getting any type of revenge anytime soon."

Carmelo frowns as he finishes the last of the water, "what do you mean?"

"It's been quiet, they've been real quiet," I clarify. "No one has seen your son or anyone for that matter since the funeral.. Maybe it's hitting him harder than we thought."

Carmelo shakes his head, his lips tugging to the side, "no. I know Isaac, he's planning something big and I'm willing to bet that you're probably gonna be the first one on his list."

Gee thanks.

"He's gonna come when we least expect it and when he does, he's going to make a statement out of you for the other families, and if I were you, Cris, I would get that little girl in your house out of the city."

"He wouldn't-"

"Isaac may not do it personally," he interrupts, "but my men will, especially when they're out for vengeance. If he pushes everyone away like I think he might, he'll lose himself in his rage, Cris. My kid may have heart but half the men I take in are created to be ruthless, they'll feed his rage. He'll draw you out with her because I would do the same damn thing. I taught him almost everything I know so if he wants you to hurt just like he is, he isn't gonna kill her. If he really loses himself he'll hand her over to one of the other Capos and as shitty as this sound, they'll sell her on the black market, and I can promise you that she's gonna get picked up in less than half an hour at such a young age."

My stomach instantly churns at the thought and I feel like I'm gonna be sick.

"You've done that in the past?"

He shrugs, "I've done my fair share.. I was a different man before I met my wife, before I became a father."

"Before you killed my father?"

He nods, "you deserved better, he would have ruined you, Cris. If he stayed in your life you'd be lying six feet under with your cousin and uncle right now. Some people are rotten to the core, he wouldn't have ever changed. He would have manipulated his way back into your moms arms begging her to forgive him, and if not you then he would have dragged your mom to her grave early. He would have killed her and that would have ruined you as well."

"Stop talking!" I exclaim, quickly losing the little patience I have left.

Surprisingly Carmelo stays quiet as he stares up at me.

I break our eye contact and immediately look off to the ground, my heart pounding in my chest.

"It was easier you know," I say softly and glance in his direction. "It was easier hating him knowing that he abandoned me."

He nods his head, "I know."

"I should have let you die."

"You could have."

"I know, and I hate myself for it because you're exactly like they were, you're just as bad as them, if not worse."

"Cris-"

"I want to forgive you, Carmelo, I do. I don't want to become one of those persons that hangs onto anger and hatred. I don't want to become like them, I don't want to be bitter, but I can't help but think if a man like yourself can change then what makes you think he wouldn't have? You didn't even give him that chance."

Carmelo sighs, "look kid, I don't want to hurt you, you've been through enough already. I don't wanna ruin the little good imagine you have left of your father. Just let him go, let him rest."

"Just fucking tell me! You owe me that much, Carmelo! I literally let you drag me into your mess to help save your family. I'm putting my life at risk for your sake, after you took my family apart!"

"Took your family apart?!" He scoffs sitting up. "Cris I saved your fucking family! I didn't think twice about putting your father six feet under because all I can think about is your uncle sitting in my office, begging me to give him a way out after he told me what he did to his niece."

My heart thumps aggressively in my chest as the room begins to spin and the air is feeling thinner and thinner as Carmelo's voice begins to fade in and out.

"Your dad was molesting, Reanna, Cris."

I take a step back shaking my head, "R-rea?"

He nods. "I'm sorry son, he wouldn't have changed. Your sister practically begged your uncle not to do anything because she didn't want you to ever find out- and we vowed to never talk about it ever again, we buried the truth with him.. I took that bounty and blame for good reasoning, Cris, not because I needed the money, or was being egoistic. I became the villain in your family because I made a promise to your sister that she would never have to worry about your father ever again. She wouldn't have to worry that her baby brother would grow up to be just like him, and if given the chance I would do it all over again."

I feel my knee's buckle as I try to fight for any little strength left in me and not collapse right here on the floor, in front of this man, trying desperately to get air into my lungs but it feels like all of the air in the room has suddenly been sucked out.

My voice cracks as my throat and mouth go insanely dry, "d-did she know? Did my mother know?"

He shakes his head, "only your sister and uncle."

My legs completely give out and my knees are hitting the ground half a second later as a weird tight feeling in my chest begins to form. "Oh god," I try to gasp for some air.

I hear a small groan beside me and look up from the ground to see that Carmelo is attempting to get off of the bed. I immediately stick my hand out and shake my head, "g-give me a second, I-I'm fine."

"Cristofer-"

I shake my head and pull myself back together getting back up to my feet. My hands, my body, they suddenly feel like they're on fire, they're hot and cold at the same time as the violent shakes from the anger begins to spread throughout my body.

Reanna is my oldest sister out of the three of us. Reanna, Sincerely, and myself.

Sincerely is two years older than me and three years younger than Rea, making Rea five years older than me but they swear that I act like I'm the oldest, and they're not wrong.

I would gladly kill for my sisters, my mother, without a hesitation, a reason.

I've worked too hard to keep them safe, especially from the men in this lifestyle.

I worked so hard to live up to my uncle's and cousin's expectations, to gain his men, who are now my men's respect, to ensure that they respected the most important women in my life.

As grateful as I am that my uncle kept us out of the street, I probably would've preferred that because I hated who they made me out to be but I stuck it out for my family, I stayed stuck in his hell hole because we literally had nowhere else to go, and my uncle never failed to remind me of that.

I was and am the only men in their life, in our family, it's literally my job to look out for them, provide for them, protect them and I feel sick to my fucking stomach right now that the man I wanted to reconnect with could even think about touching his own daughter.

I'm annoyed with myself that he's not alive right now, that Carmelo could get to him before I could, that the only men I ever had in my life are complete fucking trash, proud of myself that I'm nowhere near like them because I was starting to lose hope and doubt myself that maybe I really was no better than mh bloodline.

"I spent so many years hating my uncle," I say out loud. "Resenting him for never giving me any answers about him whenever I asked."

"This is exactly why you didn't need to know, Cris."

"Rea hasn't spoken a word to me since I sent them off, since I mentioned that I was gonna look for our father. I couldn't understand why she was still so mad after all these years."

"Cris-"

"Your son fucking hates me," I blurt out. "My family put me against you guys, they made him hate me, they made me hate myself. They put you guys through hell and all you ever did was look out for mine..."

Carmelo sits up at the edge of the bed, "come here," he waves me over to him. I carefully make my way over to him and immediately frown when he opens his arms.

"C'mere," he says again, his accent slipping out.

I stare down over at him for about a second or so and eventually lean down to hug the man. He wraps his arms around me right away, pulling me into him, a warm strange feeling instantly taking over my body.

"As much of an asshole as you think I am, Cris, I've never once doubted you kid, I've never once thought that you would end up just like them," he says softly. "You probably won't believe me, but I was fucking thrilled when Isaac told me that you wanted to form an alliance with us. I really didn't want to be the one to send you to your grave after looking after you for so long in the shadows."

My chest instantly feels tight, my eyes quickly begin to burn as my breath hitches and I'm wrapping my arms around Carmelo, embracing him back.

I genuinely can't remember when's the last time that I've actually cried, I sure as hell didn't when my father left, I was too stupid and overly angry at him for constantly hitting my mother.

I've actually never had this type of interaction with another male figure in my life. My uncle never gave me any type of comfort, any type of reassurance, any type of support, affection.

This here right now is very new to me and Im slowly starting to realize, digest, just how mentally fucked up the men in life have me. Realizing that Carmelo, a man I have no connection with, is probably the closest thing that I've ever had to a father figure and that nearly sends me over the edge, it's sad.

I shake my head attempting to pull myself away from the man sitting in front of me, "I can't do it," my voice breaks. "I don't think I can go through with it."

Carmelo doesn't let up his hold around me, "you can and you will," he says sternly.

"I'm tired.. I just want it to stop already, I don't want it anymore."

"I know," he tightens his arms around me. "The faster we burn through this, the faster I can get you out of this lifestyle," he says. "The faster you can start living your own life the way you want, kid. There won't be anyone else to stop you, hold you back, I'll make sure of it. I promised you a way out, son, and you're gonna get it."