Hi my babies! Yes I know it's been a while I'm sorry I've been so MIA but I'm not dead I promise lmao if you have me on Snapchat I already gave you guys the run down & apologized for why I haven't been updating so again I'm so sorry I'm trying to get back on track, enjoy this little teaser chapter until the big baby comes out ❤️ I love guys 🫶🏼

Ric's POV

"P-plea-se," the bleeding idiot that's laying on the ground rasped, as he struggled to crawl away from me.

Smiling to myself I take one last hit of the blunt in my hand and pass it back over to Aj who's standing behind me and kick the idiot in front of me one last time in the stomach, which earns me another painful whimper from him.

"C'mon man, I h-haven't talked to her in o-over a y-year!" He coughs as he holds onto his stomach, curled up in a fetal position.

I frown and crouched down in front of him, "talked to who?" I gritted.

Noah fucking Bryce peers up at me and stays completely quiet, his eyes bloodshot and filled with fear.

Grabbing a handful of his shirt I wrench him up and send my fist into his face for what seems like the 10th time tonight, "talked to who?!" I snarl, threatening him again.

"C-carmen!" He cries out.

My vision immediately turns red when I hear my ex-girlfriend's name for the second time tonight and it's instantly sending me over the edge and I'm smashing my fist back into Noah's face, repeatedly.

"Come on, Patrick, that's enough!" Ian Metcalf grabs onto the back of my shirt, pulling me off of Bryce as he rolls over coughing up a lung.

Aj chuckles from the side of us and is crouching down next to me, "here," he hands the blunt back over to me, "kill it and defuse a little be before you kill the kid."

"Honestly, dude, I get that you're still pissy from earlier but the hell are you gonna tell the boss if we have to bury that idiot," Ian points back over to Noah who can't seem to catch his breath through the coughing fit he's in still.

I snatch the blunt from Aj without saying a single word as Metcalf walks over to check up on the idiot in front of me.

"I liked you better when you didn't talk," I point the blunt towards Ian and inhale a deep breath as I take a hit of the weed and begin to start my own cough fit.

I begin to softly shake my head as I begin to realize how much I've just fucked up.

I personally didn't target Noah tonight for his high school crush on Carmen, I could honestly care less about it, it was from before my time. I decided to target the idiot because his stupid ass decided to cut me off on my bike a couple blocks away, which almost made me lose control of the bike, almost.

Aj, Ian, and I were on a night drive, trying to clear up my mind from my interaction with Isaac's stupid ass cousin, and it was starting to work right up until a stupid mustang almost sent me flying off of my bike and the instant shitty mood was back.

The boys and I cornered him into an alley at gunpoint and I was immediately head over heels when I saw who stepped out of the car and completely took my anger out on him, up until Metcalf dragged me off of him of course.

"How bad is it?" I question taking a smaller hit of the blunt this time.

Metcalf shakes his head quietly as Noah continues to wheeze through the pain.

I get up from the ground, flicking the roach out of my hands, "I don't have the patience for your random silent treatments tonight, Ian."

"What do you think?! You kicked and hit him over and over again!"

I roll my eyes yet say nothing in response.

So dramatic..

"I think he might have a collapsed lung. We should probably drop him off at the ER.."

"Or we can take him to Leo," Aj says walking up behind me.

"We can't, doofus, then we'll have to explain who he is and why he is the way he is.."

"Why is he the way he is, Ric?"

I quickly avert my attention back towards Metcalf, "just go drop him off at Saint Frances already."

Ian gives me a dirty look before he's dragging Noah's body over to his mustang leaving Aj and I behind a few minutes later.

"You need some company or can I leave you alone?"

"I'm fine."

I find Aj frowning as I turn to look at him, "don't let him get in your head, Ric. He's an addict, he's capable of saying anything right now, I doubt it happened dude."

I scoff glancing back down at the ground, "I ever tell you she stopped talking to him because of me?"

Aj's frown deepens when I look back over at him, "you mean they-"

I shake my head, "he never made it out of her messages but he got pretty close, so I wouldn't put it past them if they did hook up."

"Look man, I never knew her or anything but I highly doubt she's that kind of girl from what you've told me. I know you've been through a lot this past year but don't start giving up again man, it's this lifestyle, all the wanna be alpha men in this job that ingrates those insecurities into you,"he jabs a finger at my temple. "I know we just met a few months ago but I know you're better than that, Ric, don't fall into that shit man, be above it. You're so much smarter than half the men here, don't let it ruin the progress you've already made ."

I inhale a deep breath nodding my head silently, "It's just- I feel like everyone's life is changing, they're moving on, moving forward with their lives and here I am, stuck."

"You know why? Because you're still clinging onto your past. The faster you accept it and let it go the faster you'll be happy dawg."

I mentally roll my eyes and snort softly, "weren't you leaving?"

He chuckles softly, "don't change the subject bitch, but yeah I guess I should probably go check up on cakes to see if he needs a ride back to his bike."

Incline my head towards his bike, "go, I'll chill here until you come back."

He nods and is clasping his hand with mine, "don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, I'm almost half tempted to take your phone with me," he jokes.

I smile repressing the laugh attempting to come out, "get the fuck out of here, I'll be fine."

He nods one last time before he's walking back over to his bike and is putting his helmet on. He starts up the bike and is leaving the alley about half a minute later, leaving me and my thoughts alone.

Great.

I immediately pull my iPhone out of my pocket and walk over to my bike. Throwing my leg over it I climb on top of it and go straight to instagram and look Carmen's page up. Her page was obviously public but I didn't want her knowing that I stalked her every three hours when I watched her stories so I did what any creepy idiot would do and made a fake account.

I immediately begin to grin like an idiot when I see her profile picture in my 'recent' search engine. Her profile picture consists of a mirror pic of her wearing a white off the shoulder shirt in her new blonde highlight hair, which still looks absolutely amazing. My smile continues to grow even more when I see the little colorful ring around her picture; she posted on her story.

I click on the bubble and watch a Starbucks coffee cup appear on the screen, I swear this girl drinks iced coffee almost every single day. I click on the picture going to the next one and it's a bouquet of flowers that she's smelling and jealousy is instantly kicking in when I read her caption. 'Somehow he always knows when I'm having a bad day."

My hand immediately begins to tremble as I continue to stare at the smile on my ex-girlfriend's face.

This isn't her first time posting about some dude, he's bought her coffee before, meals, she's even posted date night pictures but it's never struck a nerve until today. I was trying to be a decent human being and let her move on, let her be happy, but now my overthinking is on high gear because of my encounter with Nathaniel. Now my mind is telling me that the mysterious guy in her stories is him, now I'm upset, now I'm bothered, and this new tempered side of me has no filter.

Like a dumb ass I'm calling her number before I can even stop myself. 'Hang up' my subconscious screams at the back of my head, and just as I'm about to talk myself out of it she answers, she actually answers.

The instant confusion is in her voice and I can't stop my heart from slamming in my chest, her voice is just as angelic as I remember it that I almost forget how to breathe.

"Ric?"

I stay quiet attempting to find my own voice, attempting to slow down my heart, to not let my demons win tonight but the anxiety is there, the insecurity is there and I fucking hate that I fed into it.

Let it go, hang up.

"You didn't block your number, Ric.."

Stupid ass.

"I know," I inhale a deep breath. "And I'm probably gonna regret it later."

Meaning Carmelo is most likely going to trace this call and beat my ass for it but I don't really care right now, the reckless side of me is beginning to resurface and I'm trying to keep myself at bay, at peace.

My heart continues to slam in my chest as Camren stays quiet and it's suddenly very hard to breathe, to think.

"Are you fucking Nate?" The words are quickly flying out of my mouth before I can even stop them, process them.

"What?!" Carmen exclaims, I can hear the genuine disgust at the back of her voice.

That should've been my green flag right there, that should've given me all the reassurance I needed but guess who else is here to join the party, the new trust issues I've suddenly developed and they do not play nicely with my anxiety and overthinking, and the three just pushed me over the edge.

Uncontrollable anger begins to bubble up inside and the asshole side of me is making an appearance.

"Are. You. Fucking around. With Isaac's cousin?" I grit in between clenched teeth.

She scoffs loudly into her phone, "are you kidding me right now!?"

"It's a yes or no answer, Carmen.."

"The hell do you care for anyways, Ric?! Big bad mafia man doesn't have feelings anymore, remember.. Is this all you called me for? Just to accuse me of scenarios you're making up in your head?!"

"Of course you're fucking him, you couldn't get your lavish life with me so why not take the easy way out and fuck your way up with his family huh.."

"Are you even listening to yourself right now? How could you even think some shit like that, Patricio?! Are you back on your shit again?"

Don't expose yourself, I know you're upset right now but don't expose yourself, don't tell her about her instagram..

I force a breath of air out through my nose, almost scoffing as loudly as she did a bit ago, "am I back on my shit?" I retorted. "Really?"

"I'm only asking because you don't sound like yourself.. You sound like the paranoid version of you.."

"You don't fucking know any verison of me anymore, Carmen. You ruined any good version I had left in me when you gave up.."

I hear her inhale a deep breath on her end of the phone. It's quiet for about a second or two when she begins to speak up softly, "I love you, Ric, I do, with all my heart but I'm done with this," her voice cracks. "I'm done trying to fix you, I'm done trying to fix us. I can't do this anymore."

A heat of wave washes over me as the hurt and hunger begin to swallow me up alive.

"You're done trying!?" I exclaim. "What the hell have you actually done for us, Carmen? I've literally given up everything and everyone for you!"

"Don't you dare turn this back around on me," she bites back. "You left everything behind before we even started dating! I wasn't enough for you or did you forget that already, Patricio? I begged you to let me in, I begged you to let me help you! Did you forget that I lost the one person that mattered to me, that I had to give up my best fucking friend?!"

"Please," I scoff as I attempt to force down the chuckle that's creeping up my throat. "Save your sob story for Red if she ever decides to allow you to be back into her life. You lost one fucking person, Car, ONE. I don't know if you know exactly how restrictions work in my world, Carmen, but the second she took Isaac's last name, the second she became a Matteo, she got full authority of who's allowed to stay and come back into her life. She's literally the second most powerful person in that family afar from Mrs. Matteo, who can pursue the boss into changing his mind, voice her opinions, and she still hasn't brought you back, she can care less about your guys' friendship. She's finally seeing you for the selfish, self absorbed brat that you are."

She stays quiet, barely breathing into the phone that I almost think that she's hung up on me but she hasn't yet, she's still on the line, surprisingly quiet too which tells me that I've finally hit a nerve.

My blood continues to boil and I can't stop the spillage that's coming out of my mouth, "I told you that I was still in no place to be in a relationship when we ran into each other in the City.. I told you that I wasn't good enough for you, that I had even more heat, more baggage than I did before. I warned you, I told you that nothing had changed, in fact I told you it would be way worse if anything ever went south-"

"Nothing went south, Patricio, you-"

"Stop calling me that! You lost that fucking privilege months ago!" I raise my voice. "You wanna paint me out to be the bad guy in your story so bad, Carmen, making it seem like I ruined your life!? But does Red know how much you begged me to give you a chance? That you would show up to my doorstep nearly every day because I didn't have to feel alone because you were practically throwing yourself at me the second I told you that I was out. Did you tell her that I told you that I couldn't protect you? Does she know you that took the money?"

No answer.

"You want me to be the asshole in your story so bad, fine, consider it done, but you're not gonna like me when I'm the bad guy, Car, after all I'm the big bad mafia man, I don't have feelings, tell your boyfriend to watch his back."