"Anak, kamusta ka habang wala ako? Hindi ka ba minaltrato?" tanong ni Mama. Nasa kusina kami ngayon, kumakain ng umagahan. Umiling ako.

"Hindi, Mama. Mabait naman sila sa akin. Trinato nila ako ng maayos, lalo na si Tita Majika," katuwiran ko. Tumango siya sa sinagot ko.

Ayaw ko namang sabihin na sinaktan ako ni Mateo. Mahirap na, ibang way pa naman yung pananakit niya sa akin.

"E, si Mateo? Hindi ka ba sinaktan, nung sinubukan mong tumakas?" Umiling ako. Hindi naman niya ako nasaktan physically.

Masasabi kong nataasan niya ako nang boses ngunit ang pagbuhatan ako ng kamay ay hindi.

"Hindi po, pero nasigawan niya ako. Pero nag-sorry naman po siya," tumango tango ulit siya at sumubo. Inubos muna niya ang nasa bibig at uminom ng tubig.

Iniisip ko pa lang siya ay gusto ko nang maiyak.

"Mapapatawad mo ba siya, sa pagsisinungaling niya sa 'yo?" Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko.

Kaya ko nga ba siyang patawarin?

"Siguro, oo, Ma, pero hindi ngayon," I mumbled, nodding. We continued eating, but I suddenly stopped, overwhelmed by a foul stench. It made me feel nauseous, and I instinctively covered my mouth, trying to hold back the urge to vomit. Mom must have noticed my struggle, because she asked with concern.

"Anong... Okay ka lang, anak?"

I didn't answer, rushing to the sink and letting loose a torrent of vomit. I felt a hand on my back, and Mom's worried voice filled the air.

I could see Ma'am Mica and Francisco watching with concern as well.

"Hindi, Ma. May naamoy lang akong mabaho, like spoiled food," I said, wiping my mouth. Mom looked confused and sniffed the air, trying to identify the source of the smell.

Kahit si Ma'am Mica at Francisco ay nagtataka.

"Wala naman, anak. Did you smell spoiled food?" Mom asked Ma'am Mica, who shook her head.

Kahit ako ay nagtataka kung saan nanggagaling ang masangsang na amoy na 'yon.

"No, dear. Where did you smell it?" Ma'am Mica asked me. I walked towards the table, trying to pinpoint the source of the awful smell. Then, my eyes fell on the grilled cheese, and the stench hit me again. I was about to throw up. I pointed at it, and Mom rushed over to sniff it.

Halos maiyak ako dahil sa pagpipigil masuka.

"It doesn't smell bad. Maybe-" She stopped mid-sentence, staring at me blankly. I was confused. "Buntis ka ba?"

Halos maibuga ko ang tubig na iniinom dahil sa sinabi ni Mama.

She then turned to Ma'am Mica, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Did something happen between you and Mateo?" Mom asked, her question making my cheeks flush. I blushed and nodded, looking down in embarrassment.

Bakit naman kasi itatanong 'yan ngayon at dito pa talaga.

"So, I'm going to be a grandma?" she asked, her voice laced with disbelief.

Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko at hindi pa rin nag sisink in sa akin na buntis ako.

I cleared my throat, "You're not mad, Ma?" I asked nervously. She just shook her head and gave me a small smile.

Umiling siya at umakbay sa akin, "Malaki kana kaya mo na mag desisyon para sa sarili mo" she said, smiling.

Bumuntong hininga ako, "But it's not confirmed yet, Ma," I replied, my voice tinged with a mix of sadness and excitement.

"Why don't we go to an ob-gyn, so we can know for sure if you're pregnant or not?" Ma'am Mica suggested. I nodded and sat back down.

Pumalakpak si Ma'am Mica, ngumiti lang si Mama.

"Yaya, please take the grilled cheese away, Luliana doesn't like the smell. She might vomit if you want to eat it, go ahead," Ma'am Mica instructed, calling for the maid. The maid quickly removed the food as instructed.

"Sige po, Ma'am," she said with a smile, which I returned with a wide grin.

"So, let's eat?" tanong niya sa amin kaya tumango kami at nag patuloy sa pagkain.

~~~

We were on our way to the ob-gyn, and my nerves were still on edge. What if I was pregnant, and the father of my child wasn't by my side?

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize we had arrived at De Valle Ob-gyn. I was still staring blankly when Mom gently took my hand.

"Tara na, anak. Whatever the results are, Andito lang si Mama," she said with a reassuring smile. I nodded, my anxiety slightly easing. Only the three of us were going into the clinic; Francisco preferred to stay in the car.

"My friend was an ob-gyn, so I brought you here. She's the one who will check you. She's also Filipina," Mom explained. I nodded and took in my surroundings.

We walked until we reached a brown door with a sign that read "Doc. De Valle." Ma'am Mica knocked, and we heard a voice from inside say, "Come in." Ma'am Mica entered first, followed by Mom and me.

"Ria, how are you?" Ma'am Mica said, rushing towards a woman who we assumed was Doc Andrea.

"I am fine, gosh I missed you, Mica! What are you doing here?" They embraced, then the doctor's eyes fell on Mom and me.

She looked at smiled at me.

"I'm here to accompany my friend's daughter. We want to know if she's pregnant or not," Ma'am Mica explained. The doctor nodded and approached us.

"I'm Ria Andrea De Valle, nice to meet you, miss?" she said, extending her hand to Mom. Mom smiled and took her hand, introducing herself.

"Loria May Cartier, nice to meet you. This is Luliana Grace Cartier, my daughter," Mom introduced, leading me towards the doctor. I shyly extended my hand.

"Luliana Grace Cartier, Doc," I said with a small smile as we shook hands.

She smiled at me gesturing me na sumunod sa kaniya, "Have a seat," the doctor instructed, pointing to the chair in front of her desk. We sat down.

"So, who's getting the check-up?" she asked. I raised my hand, feeling sleepy.

"Oh, we can start now. You look sleepy, but I have a few questions. Is that okay?" She asked, and I nodded.

"Come, follow me," she said, and I followed her, even though I was tired.

Antok na antok na ako ngunit kailangan kong panatiling gising ang sarili dahil gusto kong malaman ang resulta.

"Lie down there and wait for me. I'll just get the things we need," she said. I nodded, fighting the urge to sleep. I was so tired, but I knew I couldn't.

After a few minutes, Doc was ready.

"Lift your shirt, Ija," she instructed. I lifted my shirt and stared at the ceiling, my heart pounding with anticipation.

She rubbed something cold on my stomach and spread it with a device that looked like a massager. I had no idea what it was, it was my first time experiencing this.

"Did you eat before coming here?" she asked. I nodded.

"Opo, chocolate," I said, nodding. I felt ticklish from what she was doing, but I tried to endure it.

The chocolate I ate, I wasn't sure who put it in the fridge, so I just grabbed it.

"When is your birthday, and how old are you?" she asked. I didn't know the answer. I hadn't even asked Mom yet.

"I don't know, Doc. I have a bit of amnesia. I only remember a few things," I said, feeling embarrassed. Her mouth opened slightly in surprise, not knowing what to say.

Tumikhim siya, "If that's the case, I'll just ask your mother," she said, nodding. I nodded back.

"Matagal pa po ba iyan, Doc?" I asked impatiently. She chuckled at my question.

"Look at the monitor. That's your baby. Congratulations, Mommy. You're 7 weeks pregnant," she said. I looked at the monitor and saw what looked like a peanut. Tears welled up in my eyes.

You're 7 weeks pregnant...

You're 7 weeks pregnant...

It echoed in my ears over and over again.

"I'm pregnant?" I asked, and the doctor nodded.

Para akong hihimatayin dahil sa narinig.

"Congratulations again, Ija. I'll give you some vitamins and tell you what to avoid," she said. I just nodded, my attention still fixed on the monitor. I couldn't believe it.

I was pregnant. But what about the father of my child? He wasn't here with me. What if I couldn't raise my child properly?

After the doctor finished cleaning my stomach, we walked out. Mom and Ma'am Mica greeted me with worried expressions.

Tumulo ang luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilang tumulo ng makalapit kay Mama.

"So, anak. Kamusta?" Mom asked, embracing me. I couldn't hold back the tears and sobbed into her shoulder. She gently stroked my back.

"I'm pregnant, Mama. I'm going to have a baby," I said, my voice choked with emotion. I couldn't stop the tears flowing as I felt a whirlwind of emotions. I felt her stop stroking my back and pull away from the hug. She held my shoulders.

Pumalakpak siya, "Really? So, I'm going to be a grandma?" she asked, her voice filled with disbelief and joy. I nodded and hugged her again.

"Congrats, Ija," Ma'am Mica said, and I turned to her. I pulled away from Mom and walked towards her.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya habang may luha sa mata, "Thank you, Ma'am Mica," I said and hugged her. She hugged me back.

"No worries. Call me Tita. Calling me Ma'am is a bit awkward," she said. I nodded and gave her a small smile.

We waited for Mom and Doc, who were talking inside. Mom came out, alone, and walked over to us.

"Mica, can you come in for a second?" she asked. Tita nodded, got up, and walked back into the room where Mom had just come from.

Hanggag ngayon wala pa rin akong imik... Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na magiging Mommy na ako.

"Here's your ultrasound, anak," Mom said, handing me the copy. I glanced at it and saw a peanut-sized shape.

I'll wait for you to come out. I'll take care of you, even if your Daddy isn't here.

I'll love you and take care of you as much as I can.

Even if Daddy isn't here, Mommy is. It'll be hard, but we'll make it.