Iminulat ko ang akin mata at kumurap-kurap. The sterile white ceiling blurre into focus as I blinked against the bright lights, the sharp, medicinal scent antiseptic assaulting my nostrils.

"Nasaan ako? anong nangyari bakit andito ako?" Saad ko at napahawak sa ulo nang kumirot ito naramdaman ko ding may benda ito.

My gaze swept the room, landing on a man sitting on the couch, his eyes fixed on me.

"Sino ka? Bakit k-ka andito? bakit a-ako andito anong nangyari?" I stammered, my voice trembling with fear.

"Calm down, wife. I won't hurt you, I'm Mateo... your husband." walang buhay na ani nito, my jaw dropped upon hearing what he just said.

My mind reeled. Husband? May asawa ako? Kasal ako? Totoo ba ito? paano nangyari 'yon when I had no memory of a husband.

"Husband? you are my husband? I-I'm married?" saad ko puno ng pagtataka, paano ko maaalalang may asawa ako, e. kagigising ko lang at wala akong maalala ni hindi ko din alam bakit ako andito.

"Yes, I'm your husband, you had an incident 5 years ago, and you just woke up from a coma. I know it's hard to believe but I am telling you the truth... I am your husband" Sambit nito at hinawakan ang kamay ko pero binawi ko din ito nang hindi ako na comportable.

"I'm sorry," Mateo said, his voice laced with genuine concern, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"O-Okay lang nagulat lang ako, kung gan'on asawa kita sino ako? bakit wala akong maalala? at malala ba ang nangyari sa akin para wala akong maalala?" ani ko habang nakayuko at pinag lalaruan ang daliri.

"Your name is Ashianna Zylene Montevallo and my full name is Mateo Javier Montevallo, you had an incident because we were arguing about something, and you left the house. I'm sorry, love." saad nito lumapit nang kaunti sa akin pero may iniwan paring distance sa pagitan namin "And to answer your queestion, yes. Let's say it's chronic circumstances." he said in serious tone.

"I-It's okay, I'm fine now. I get it" ani ko may maliit na ngiting pilit sa labi parang ayoko maniwala sa sinabi nito ayaw kong tanggapin ang sinabi niya, may hinahanap akong sagot, may kulang.

~~~

"Do you want something to eat? I can buy you at the nearby store." he said, sitting beside me.

"No, busog pa ako" I replied, It had been almost two months since I woke up. Mateo had told me I'd been hit by a car, that I hadn't seen it coming while I was running.

The way he spoke made me ask myself kung English ba ang gamit kong lengguwahe.

Naalala ko ang sinabi niya kanina na hahanapin niya daw ang nakabangga sa akin at ipapakulong niya.

May parte sa akin na ayaw maniwala hindi ko din alam kung bakit, may kulang lagi sa explanation niya.

Halos pilit kong inaalala ang nangyari or kung sino man siya ay sumasakit lang ang ulo ko.

"Pwede na ba tayong umuwi?" I asked, feeling increasingly restless in the hospital. I was feeling much better, but staying here made me more sick.

"I'll ask your doctor if we can go home. For now, rest first" he said, kissing my forehead.

"Sige, I-I love you" ani ko bago tuloyang hinalin ng antok naramdaman ko pang hinalikan ako nito sa noo at narinig ko pa ang kaniyang sinabi.

"I love you" ani nito at tuloyan na akong makatulog.

~~~

I lay awake, staring at the man beside me. if he was my husband, why we weren't wearing rings? Had he taken his off, or had he hidden it?

Gustong gusto ko makaalala kung anong nangyari sakin o samin, pero ayoko biglahin sarili ko. base sa sabi ni Mateo 5 years akong naka coma na aksidente ako gusto ko malaman kung anong klaseng aksidente.

"Kung mag asawa tayo... bakit wala kang suot na singsing?" bulong ko habang naka titig sa daliri niyang walang singsing, kahit saang parteng daliri.

"Gusto kong maka alala, gusto kong malaman kung anong nangyari, bakit nagka ganito at kung sino talaga ako" pakakausap ko sa sarili ko at sandaling tinignan ang lalaking tulog na tulog.

Tumayo ako at lalabas muna dahil gusto kong magpahangin kahit de aircon ang kwarto, sumilip muna ako ng walang makitang tao ay lumabas na ako nang tuloyan.

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta dala-dala ko pa ang swero ko halos wala akong makitang tao sa hallway dahil narin siguro sa oras at tulog na ang mga tao.

May nakita akong fire exit kaya pumasok ako d'on nang maka pasok ay hagdan lang ang nakita ko umupo ako sa papag at tumingala sa langit nag iisip kung kailan ako makakabalik sa dati.

"Hanggang kailan ako magiging ganito?" pakausap ko sa sarili "I'm searching for my family, the presence of family."

"May asawa ako pero hindi ko ramdam ang pagmamahal, may kulang may hinahanap pa akong explanation hindi ko alam kung ano iyon, wala akong ibang maramdaman sa kaniya kundi ilang." pinunasan ko ang luha ko.

"May pamilya ba ako? wala man lang bumisita sa akin at nagpakilala bilang nanay at tatay ko or baka wala na akong magulang na hindi ko alam dahil sa wala akong maalala" patuloy ko habang naka tingin sa kalangitan.

"Sa tagal ko rito sa hospital wala man lang pumunta ni isa kahit sa pamilya or kakilala ko man lang na hindi ko maalala" pagak akong tumawa at pinunasan ang natitirang luha.

Habang naka tingala sa kalangitan ay may bigla na lang umupo sa tabi ko na ikina gulat ko.

"S-Sino ka?" kinakabahan kong tanong at dali-daling tumayo isang lalaking sa tingin ko ay kaedaran ni Mateo.

"Calm down woman," bored na ani nito at tumingala rin sa kalangitan. "Do I look like a bad person?" umiling ako bilang sagot sa tanong niya.

Nakakahiya naman kung sasabihin kong 'Oo' baka ma offend pa siya.

"Sino ka? bakit ka andito?" tanong ko unti--unti akong umupo mukhang wala naman siyang balak na masama.

"Call me, Cis. just want some fresh air, and I am here because of a friend." nangunot ang noo ko sa sinabi nito.

"Bakit hindi ba fresh yung nilalabas na hangin nung aircon d'on sa kwarto mo?" tanong ko natawa ito pero bumalik din agad sa pagiging seryoso, ngiti saglit at balik sa pagka seryoso, e.

Inilagay niya ang dalawang kamay sa gilid bilang suporta, "It is fresh, but I prefer the wind rom the outside, I'm not a patient or what. I wentt here for a friend afther the meeting."

Kung titignan mo siya mukha siyang ceo dahil sa suot niya, naka pang office.

"Sinong binabantayan mo rito sa hospital? mukhang kagagaling mo lang ng office dahil diyan sa suot mo." mahabang lintaya ko.

His gaz bored into me, unsettlingly intense. "You look like a patient. What are you doing here?"

"It is fresh but I prefer the wind from the outside, I'm not a patient or what, okay?" ulit niya. "I went here because of a friend after the meeting." kibit balikat nitong sabi.

"He asked me something, but he is sleeping, he asked me if I can bring his paper here. so I did, I don't know what is he doing here, he is not sick at all also his parents either." he then looked at me, dahil sa ilang ay umiwas ako nang tingin at tumitig sa kalangitan.

Akala ko maikli lang din siya magsalita gaya ni Mateo- Bakit ko ba binabanggit 'yon hindi ko pa nga sigurado kung asawa ko 'yon.

"Ganitong oras inutusan ka pa?" takang tanong ko ang atensyon ay nasa kalangitan pa rin.

"He asked me around 5 pm, but I still have work that time. this is the only time I'm free, so." nagkibit balikat siya, tumango ako.

"You, why are you here? You should rest. You are a patient, you need rest." tinitigan ako nito, halata naman sa swero ko.

"Gusto ko lang mag pahangin tulog pa kasi yung asawa ko at boring d'on kaya lumabas ako" saad ko.

"You are married woman?" he asked, kakasabi lang nung asawa e.

"Oo, hindi ko rin alam kung kailan pa kami naging mag asawa ni singsing- Zylene" hindi ko natapos ang sasabihin ko ng may tumawag sa pangalan ko na muntik ko nang hindi lingunin dahil hindi pamilyar sakin ang pangalan pero buti na lang pamilyar sakin ang boses ng Asawa ko.

Palingon ko sa likuran si Mateo bagong gising at humahagos ani mo'y hinabol nang kung sino matalim ang titig nito kaya nangilabot ako nag baba ako ng tingin at nakita ko itong may hawak na baril.

Mukhang napansin nito ang pag titig ko sa hawak nito'y agad niyang itinago ang baril sa likod nito.

"M-Mateo, kanina ka pa ba riyan?" kinakabahang tanong ko tumitig lang ito sakin napansin ko din ang pag tayo nung kausap ko.

"I've been looking for you." malamig na ani nito at niyakap ako habang ang atensyon ay andon sa Cis, yung lalaking kausap ko.

"Lumabas lang ako saglit... gusto ko lang mag pahangin" ani ko, hindi alam ang sasabihin dahil titig na titig lang siya sa akin.

"Mateo, your papers is on the table, I went to your room na sinabi mo but you were sleeping" wika ng katabi ko magka kilala sila?

"Ah, magka kilala kayo?" takang tanong ko obvious naman, bobo mo Zy.

"Yeah, He's my friend that... I'm talking about" napa tango ako.

"Zylene, let's go" aya sakin ni Mateo at pinulupot ang braso sa bewang ko nag patianod na lang ako mahirap na baka maging dragon siya, nilingon ko yung lalaki tumango lang siya sakin at sumunod sa amin.

"Why did you go outside without waking me up?" mahinahon na tanong sakin ni Mateo habang nakatalikod sakin, wala yung Cis dahil umalis saglit babalik naman daw.

"Gusto ko lang ng fresh air at tsaka nababagok ako rito, galit ka? sorry na." ani ko at pinalambing ang boses.

"I'm not mad at you woman, I'm worried" humarap siya sakin at lumakad palapit hinalikan ako sa labi at niyakap.

"I didn't know you have... wife." nabaling kami sa nagsalita si Cis sinamaan naman siya ng tingin ni Mateo.

"Shut up" inis na ani ni Mateo ngumisi lang ang kaibigan nito at binaling ulit sakin ang atensyon, secret lang ba ang kasal namin?

Umiling iling ang lalaki.

"Be careful, Mat. mainit mata sayo ng ibang organisasyon." saad nito tumango ito sa akin tsaka umalis na.

Naguguluhan naman akong tumango pabalik? Mainit mata ng ibang organisasyon kay Mateo? Bakit?.

"Anong organisasyon?" takang tanong ko pero umiling lang siya.

"Don't go outside without my permission or you are alone, Its dangerous outside." tumango ako hinalikan naman ako nito sa noo.

Bakit mapanganib sa labas? may ginawa ba akong kasalanan?

"Let's get back to sleep, Its 3 in the morning you have to rest" tumango ako at nauna ng nahiga sa hospital bed tumabi naman siya sakin kahit hindi ako comportable ay tiniis ko nalang dahil asawa ko naman siya.

"Sleep now, I love you" yumakap na lang ako sa kanya hindi ko alam bakit hindi ko masabi pabalik ang salitang I love you nang hindi nauutal, hindi na lang ako nag salita at hinayaan hilahin ako ng antok.

~~~

Napahinga ako nang malamin tsaka nilinisan ang higaan ko naboboring na ako dahil wala rin naman akong cellphone para paglibangan.

Lumabas saglit si Mateo, may pupuntahan lang daw siya. Kaya ito ako, walang kausap.

Natigil ako sa ginagawa ng may kumatok, "Pasok!" sigaw ko bumukas naman ang pintuan at bumungad ang hindi ko kilalang tao.

Nakasuot siya ng tuxedo at naka shades pa.

"Sino ka?" I asked, backing away as he walked towards me. Fear began to grip me.

He looks young, but the way dress makes him look mature.

"I see," he said, nodding. My brows furrowed, but fear overwhelmed me.

"Bakit ka nandito? Sino ka ba? Anong kinalaman mo sa akin?" I asked, tears welling up in my eyes from fear.

Mahilig ba talaga manakot ang mga tao ngayon, bigla-bigla na lang silang lumilitaw.

"Oh no! Please don't cry. Did I scare you? I hope not, I forgot you had amnesia," he said, coughing before extending his hand. "I'm Mc Calvin Montevallo, Mateo's cousin," he said seriously. I hesitated for a moment before taking his hand.

He seemed to be getting tired, but I still hesitated. Finally, I took his hand. I was about to introduce myself when he put his finger on his lips.

"I know, Mateo is my cousin, right? Of course, I know who you are." He cut me off, holding up a finger to silence me.

I stared at him, wondering why he was here. He noticed my gaze and raised an eyebrow.

He fixed his hair to the side. "I know I am handsome, but I am courting someone."

Nangasim ang mukha ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

"And I know you're curious why I'm here. I'm bored, so I came to see you," he said, sitting on the couch and putting his feet up on the small table.

Doesn't this guy have anything better to do?

"How did you know my room number? Did Mateo tell you?"

"I have my own way of finding what I want. He didn't answer my calls many times," he said coolly. I rolled my eyes secretly.

Marami siyang tanong sinasagot ko na lang dahil mukhang close naman kami nung hindi pa ako nagka amnesia, marami siyang alam tungkol sa akin.

"I don't know what to do. She won't answer my calls. I really miss her," he said dramatically. We talked about the girl he was courting.

"May ginawa ka bang mali?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Of course not, Ate. I went to her house yesterday to court her, you know, the traditional way we do it." He scratched his head and sighed.

'Yong haharanahin ang nililigawan? Gusto ko rin maranasan 'yon.

"What the hell?!" We stopped laughing when Mateo walked into my room.

"Hi, Kuya!" saad ni Calvin kinindatan pa niya ang Kuya niya.

Salubong ang mga makakapal na kilay ni Mateo habang ang mata ay nakay Calvin.

"What are you doing here?" taas kilay na tanong ni Mateo.

Lumingon siya sa akin, nginitian ko siya.

"I was bored at home, so I came here," he said simply.

"For God's sake! You live in France!" Mateo said angrily. My jaw dropped.

France? galing pa pala itong lalaking 'to sa France.

"What's the big deal? We have a private jet," he said, taking a bite of an orange.

I was even more surprised by what he said. France? A private jet? He's incredibly wealthy. What did I miss?

"Does Tita Cara know you're here?" he asked, sitting next to me and putting his arm around my waist.

Calvin scratched his head nervously.

"N-No, I told her I was just going out for a bit, haha," he said nervously, swallowing repeatedly.

Nginitihan ko si Calvin dahil alam ko na ang kasunod nito. "Calvin!" Mateo yelled, his voice booming. Calvin stood up, laughing.

"I'm going home tonight. Chill, Kuya. Bye!" he said quickly, waving at me before leaving my room.

Napa-iling na lang ako dahil sa lalaking 'yon.

"That brat," Mateo muttered. "Where are you going?" he asked, frowning.

"I'm just going to clean up after we ate," I said, trying to get out of his embrace. But he held me tighter.

"No, later. I just got here. Don't you miss me? Hmm?" he said, his voice soft and alluring.

Umiling na lang ako at hinayaan siyang nakayakap sa akin.