Chapter 22



Two years ago.



"And then what happens?"

Luca looked up at Dr. Ford on the screen. He lowered his hand and let out a deep sigh in hopes of the pressure in his chest lessening. But the memories of his dreams were like tons of bricks.

"She drives off the cliff," Luca said. "Like every time."

Dr. Ford listened patiently, his pen not moving because he had heard all this before.

"And I can't do anything about it," Luca said. "I can't make her stop. I can't break the glass, I can't get her out."

"So then you jump in?"

"Yeah," Luca nodded. "But I wake up before I can reach her."

"How frequently are you having these dreams?' Dr. Ford wanted to know.

"Almost every night," Luca said.

"And when did Daisy start appearing in them?"

"I don't recall," Luca ran a hand through his hair.

There was a small pause as Dr. Ford took a second to gather his question. Luca waited for him, taking a break from his own thoughts.

"Do you notice something about all these dreams, Luca?" Dr. Ford asked. "Any similarities?"

"Other than Daisy being trapped in the car with Stella and then dying with her?"

"Beside that," Dr. Ford said.

"No..." Luca shrugged.

"I do," Dr. Ford announced. "Before, when we first started to meet and talk about these dreams, you always watched the car drive off. But since Daisy has appeared, you've been jumping off the cliff along with the car."

Luca looked up with a deep frown on his face, "I'm not going to let her die."

"I know," Dr. Ford said. "I just find it interesting that you dive in after her and also the fact that as soon as the dream starts, you run to the passenger side of the car....where Daisy is."

"What are you trying to say?" Luca's brow arched.

"I'll get to my point in a second," Dr. Ford said, tapping his lip. "Let's talk about this marriage."

"It's not a marriage," Luca rolled his eyes. "It's a situation."

"A marriage to everyone's eyes," Dr. Ford announced. "The whole world will know Daisy as your wife."

Luca's jaw clenched as his heart skipped a beat. He rubbed his jaw hard to try and keep his face straight.

"How did you feel when she first said no?" Ford inquired.

"Angry."

"Dig a little deeper."

"Frustrated...upset....irritated...." Luca spit out whatever word came to his mind. "Upset....hurt....desperate."

"Why desperate?" Dr. Ford asked.

"We don't have much time," Luca said. "I need to get my money back and bring Gia home."

"You would have married another girl," Dr. Ford announced. "You could have done IVF for a child....why Daisy?"

"I don't know," Luca said. "I don't know why her."

"You told her...." Dr. Ford flipped through his notes. "You told her you were her's?"

"Yeah."

"What does that mean?" Dr. Ford asked.

"I don't know," Luca shrugged once again.

"We have to be honest, remember?"

"I honestly don't know," Luca said.

"It means you can't imagine being with anyone else," Dr. Ford explained. He wanted Luca to come to the conclusions on his own, but he knew the man well and he knew when Luca didn't want to look the truth in the face.

"We had already established that," Luca rolled his eyes. "I swore I could never be anyone else beside Stel-"

"I'm not talking about Stella," Dr. Ford said. "I'm talking about Daisy....the girl you keep trying to save in your dreams...even though Stella is in the same car with her."

The muscles in Luca's jaw tenses as he rubbed his knuckles. The flashes of hazel eyes behind shattered glass kept popping into his head as he balled his hands into fists.

"Why won't you tell her how you feel?" Dr. Ford asked.

"There's nothing to tell."

"Luca..." Dr. Ford sat down his notepad and laughed. "You're about to marry her. You drove to her house in the middle of the night to take her away from her boyfriend. You want to be the father of her child...there are a lot of feelings there."

Luca's jaw worked as he glared at the computer screen. As much as he knew Dr. Ford was good for his sanity, he wished the man would sometimes not push his boundaries.

"She's not wrong for wanting to hear you tell her your feelings," Dr. Ford said. "What are you so afraid of?"

"Nothing."

"What do you think will happen if you told her how you felt?"

"Those feelings aren't real," Luca leaned forward and spoke into the camera. "I don't feel for her what I felt for Stella. Daisy....she's temporary....it's just a physical attraction. I can't lie to her and tell her I'm in love with her when the only girl I'll ever love is Stella. That's not fair to Daisy. I can't be who she wants me to be."

"Do you think she's in love with you?"

"I hope not," Luca chuckled. "She's smarter than that."

"If you were in love with Daisy," Dr. Ford began slowly. "What would that be like?"

"I can't even imagine that because it's impossible," Luca said.

"Is it?" Dr. Ford arched his brow.

"Yes," Luca said firmly.

"Okay..." Dr. Ford nodded. "Let's go back to the dreams for a second. I have an important question to ask you. And I want you to answer honestly."

Luca nodded, "Go on."

"After you try everything to save Daisy and nothing works and you dive in to save her, you wake up, correct?"

"Yes."

"When you wake up, do you feel guilty?"

"About?"

"Not trying to save Stella," Dr. Ford added.

Luca stared. His insides twisted with a hollowness in his stomach as the seconds stretched on. His heart looked for a way out of his body as Dr. Ford took off his glasses and let out a small sigh.

"I think you feel as if you should feel guilty for your feelings towards Daisy," the man began slowly. "But you don't. And that's what's stopping you from telling her how you feel."

Luca didn't say anything. He could feel raw energy in his body frizzle up like a can of soda that had been left on a roller coaster. His hands felt numb and his lungs stopped functioning.

"Subconsciously, you have already chosen Daisy," Dr. Ford continued. "But you fear that if you allow yourself to be honest with her, if you move on with her, the guilt you are not feeling right now will suddenly appear and ruin everything."

"You've said a lot of things in the past that made sense about my life," Luca began. "But this isn't it. You're wrong."

"Then what's the truth?" Dr. Ford asked. "Why won't you tell her how you feel?"

"Because I don't feel anything for her!"

"Honestly, Luca."

"I don't love her, I love Stella," Luca said. "I could never love anyone else."

"Stella's not here anymore," Dr. Ford said. "You are allowed to move on."

"I can't do that to her," Luca shook his head. "I can't leave her."

"You mean leave her memories?"

"She's a part of me,' Luca said. "She's been my childhood, my first love. She was supposed to be my future. I can't just forget all that...she'll be gone forever. Forgotten."

"You can't keep her alive forever."

"I will," Luca said. "Stella will be alive with me till my last breath."

"And Daisy?"

"It's not love!" Luca shouted. "I find her attractive. I enjoy her company. But I know what love is...this isn't love."

"How do you know what love is?"

"I love Stella," Luca said. "I know what that feels like."

"So just to be clear..." Dr. Ford looked Luca in the eyes. "You don't love Daisy?"

"No."

____________________

"So..." Daisy cleared her throat as she waited for Patty to say something on the phone. "Are you going to say something?"

"This....this is happening so soon," Patty said. "I thought you never wanted to get married. You don't believe in it."

"I'm thinking about my child," Daisy said, her hand over her belly. "I want them to have a father. I want them to have a good life."

"And that's all I ever wanted for you too," Patty said.

Daisy bit down on her lip and looked at the patterns on her pajamas. She began to pick at it as her heart contracted, "Thanks...."

"I'm sorry I wasn't always a good mother," Patty sighed. "I tried."

"I know."

"But it was hard," Patty went on. "And you're about to be a mother too. You'll see how having a child can change your whole perspective of the world."

"Do you think I'll be a good mom?" Daisy asked, her throat tightening. She felt her heart swell up with emotions as she pressed her hand against her lips to stop herself from tearing up.

"You'll struggle at first," Patty said. "Because we all do. You'll feel unprepared and scared. Your body will change, your emotions will change, your life will change."

Daisy couldn't stop herself from crying. She felt each beat of her heart fill with worry as Patty went on.

"But you will make it," She said. "You will learn your own routine. You will know what's best for your child. You will wake up everyday and think of them....you'll be just fine."

"How come we never talked?" Daisy sniffled. "Like this."

"You never wanted to."

"You never tried."

"Then I hope you learned to try," Patty said. "For your child's sake."

"I needed you to be my mother," Daisy cried. "I needed a mother."

"I wasn't prepared," Patty confessed. "And I wasn't as strong as you are. You'll be prepared."

"No," Daisy shook her head. "I....I don't think I will be. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing."

"Are you having second thoughts about marrying him?"

"Yes," Daisy said.

"Why?"

"Because I know how marriages turn out."

"Oh honey," Patty sighed. "You only know how my marriages turn out."

"This one will be the same," Daisy said. "We're already too complicated."

"Make it last as long as you can," Patty said.

"And what about after? My child will be the same as me. Witnessing a divorce, seeing their family break."

"Men that look at women the way Luca looks at you don't let families break," Patty said. "He'll be around....as long as you don't chase him away."

"I feel overwhelmed," Daisy confessed.

"And I'm not doing the best job at easing your mind," Patty laughed. "It was never my thing to have girl talks like this."

"I know," Daisy snorted with tears in her eyes. "You had me google what menstruation was."

"You were more educated that way."

Daisy rolled her eyes.

"Why don't you call Richard?" Patty suggested.

"Yeah?" Daisy wiped her nose.

"Yeah," Patty said. "I mean, you'll have to tell him about Luca eventually. You know he will be very hurt if you get married without telling him. He sees you as his daughter. And I do think he's much better at being sensible than I am."

"You're right," Daisy said, thinking about her stepfather.

"Give him a call," Patty said once more. "Maybe even take Luca to his farm. A nice weekend away will do you both some good."



I know it's very short, but this is all I had type to type up. I'll have another update soon.

Hope you liked it :)