noha suddenly woke up from his sleep because he had a bad feeling, he was quiet shaking then calmed down

As he looked around the room, he thought of finding out more about the original Noha that wasn't written on the screen

he started by opening cupboards and drawers in the room but still found nothing, feeling tired he lay on the floor but suddenly his eyes caught something

After he took it, it turned out that there was a diary under his bed. Noha, who was full of curiosity, opened the book

'What is this? all suicide plans, so useless!' thought noha

He put the diary on the small table beside his bed

'I'm sure the twins will be here, no wonder I feel goosebumps when I wake up! I have to run away as soon as possible' thought noha

he jumped from the window clutching his beloved pillow tightly, forgetting that he had not hidden the diary he had found earlier





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"little brother let's go play together!!!" said amon

but how surprised they were to see their brother's room empty

"Strange, at this hour he should still be sound asleep" said Avion

he walked around Noha's room and accidentally his eyes saw a diary on a small table which turned out to be Noha's diary

"Is that Noha's diary!?" said amon

avion just nodded, when they opened the book and read the contents, suddenly avion closed the book with a pale face

"n-no way...we have to tell about this book to father immediately!!!" said amon

They ran fast to Osius's office with the diary book

without knocking, they immediately broke down the door, osius was of course surprised but when he was about to get angry he was surprised why the faces of his two twins looked pale and scared

"Why do you two look so messy in the morning?" Osius said

"That's not important now! Dad, try reading this book now! This is Noha's diary," said Avion

Seeing Avion who was usually very calm with his poker face suddenly become rushed and panicked, it really made Osius wonder.

but when his ears heard Noha's name, he immediately took the diary from Avion's hand and then read it

reading the contents of the diary, osius's face suddenly became pale and moreover when he read the last page of the book he became panicked



diary contents:

I'm tired...father and brother never pay attention to me...I just want to be loved...I miss mom...I want them to look at me with loving eyes that make me feel safe but the stares they often give make me increasingly fearless and tired ... I tried to get close to them but still in vain. maybe if I die they will be more happy even though they are not with me

Today I will drown myself in...



there is a tear that is right in the writing that tells where the original noha will kill himself

actually that page was written a long time ago and the original noha had committed suicide by drowning himself but failed

when he came home, he thought his family would be worried about him but instead he saw his father and two brothers just eating dinner quietly as if nothing had happened

it made him very angry, he went to his room and tore half a page of the diary, he was devastated and felt that he should quickly leave this world

the original noha never wrote down the date every time he filled out his diary and that was what made osius and the twins think that noha had just written that

"D-dad, we have to find Noha soon!!" said ammon

he was shaking even more, he couldn't believe his indifference has been making noha suffer a lot, he should have paid more attention and loved his youngest brother more

Avion is also not much different, all this time he knows that Noha's condition looks bad but he chooses to ignore it

Osius called the butler and asked all the employees in the mansion to look for his beloved child, he even asked the guards to look for Noha in the forest around the mansion

he was very disappointed in himself and kept thinking 'how come I never noticed his suffering?' 'That child only wants love, why do I never give it?'

he and the twins did not stay silent in their place, they also went to look for noha around the mansion and checked every place very thoroughly

they kept looking and looking in the hope that noha could be found safe and unharmed

'oh god just this time, please don't let my little brother die' thought amon and avion





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On the other hand, in the deep forest noha is peacefully sleeping on a tree, he is really happy because no one disturbs him

'ah~ this is the best blessing but what was the noise I heard earlier?...meh I don't care' thought noha

he intended to stay in the forest until nightfall but the branch of the tree he was climbing suddenly broke and he fell to the ground

"ouch! I was enjoying my sleep!" noah said

'damn it, even nature can't let me sleep peacefully' thought noha

he stood up and walked further into the forest to find a suitable place to sleep

he found a lake that was quite large and looked very deep, he climbed onto a rock that was arranged on the edge of the lake

a feeling of goosebumps came over him as he thought back to the time when he in his first life died from drowning

but when he was about to leave the lake he slipped and fell into a deep lake

'Seriously! come on I just want to sleep, will I drown again for the second time?' thought noha

As he was getting closer to the bottom of the lake, someone jumped into the lake then hugged him and brought him to the surface

"*cough *cough...who...?" noha said coughing

"Are you stupid! How could you kill yourself! If you really want to be loved I will give you as much love as you want so please don't do something like this again" said Kyriol

Kyriol immediately brought Noha to the edge of the lake and then he hugged him very tightly as if Noha would disappear if he let go of his hug

"Please promise me never to try to commit suicide again, my life will be gloomy again without you" Kyriol said with tears in his eyes

'...SUICIDE!? SERIOUSLY! NO WAY I WANT TO DIE FOR THE 2nd TIME!!!' thought noha

Seeing him who was just silent with a straight face made Kyriol tighten his embrace

he, who originally came to meet Noha, was shocked by the chaotic state of the mansion and the news that Noha intended to commit suicide somewhere.

without thinking he went straight into the forest, why the forest? because he knows that noha likes quiet places and he will definitely choose a quiet place to kill himself quietly

"Promise me noha! *sobs" Kyriol said

'Really, the psychopath male lead is crying!? the most important thing I have to calm him first' thought noha

His left hand touched Kyriol's cheek then rubbed it gently, it made Kyriol calm down a bit

"Fine, I won't do this again," he said

his smile made kyriol stop crying then smiled back but to be honest, kyriol's smile always made noha shiver

"because you tried to kill yourself you should be punished!" Kyriol said

'punished?..." thought noha

noha was scared when he saw kyriol's cheeks blush and smiled very scary, even though kyriol was labeled as one of the handsome boys by the nobles

moreover, his smile often makes many noble girls fall in love but for noha kyriol's smile is a very scary smile

"You have to always call me Riol then later you have to come with me for a walk around town" Kyriol said

luckily he didn't ask for anything strange, even though noha was very lazy to go out of the mansion but like it or not he had to follow kyriol's wishes

noha nodded indicating he agreed, the smile on kyriol's face grew wider and he hugged noha even more which made him feel like his bones were being crushed

'th-this way he won't kill me for making him sad?' thought noha

"Okay let's go home now, I don't want you to catch a cold" Kyriol said

Kyriol got up from his position by carrying Noha in a bridal style then brought him back to the Aprice Mansion





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when the aprice family was panicking because of the disappearance of noha, without their knowledge it turned out that a new rumor had emerged

"You know what? It's said that the youngest child of Duke Aprice is very suicidal!" say ???1

"Is that true?" say ???2

"That's right! He said he was like that because he was not noticed by the duke" said ???3

"I'm so sorry, if I become the mother of that child I will definitely love him" said ???4

that's how the gossip spread very widely and made a lot of nobles feel sorry for noha