"I want to know..."

"What happened in that town"

"While I was not there".

"..."

After ending the call with Ray, I look over to Dr Kim.

"What did he say?"

"He wants to meet up at XX town. He said he will be here by Monday..."

"Monday..."

"Yeah".

"That's just 3 days from now."

"Yeah..." I look down at my phone.

Ray didn't send a single message after that.

I click to view is profile picture. He was a thin, gullible looking guy in glasses.

I expand the picture and try hard to recognise him.

But no matter how hard I tried...

I had no clue.

It made me feel so useless, so helpless...

Dr Kim placed a hand on my back.

"Don't blame yourself, Lisha...It's not your fault." She says.

My shoulders tremble under her arm.

"I...I am scared. I am really scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"I don't know...I am scared of all that is happening right now! And for some reason I am scared of remembering my past as well..."

"It's natural to be scared of the unknown, Lisha. But life's unpredictable afterall. The best you can do is just go ahead and figure it out".

"I hope so..."

"Yes, don't worry much. Just go home and rest for the day."

Home...

If that's really my home then...

Why don't I feel at ease at my own home?

My own Mom and Dad hid so many things up from me.

About my past, my school, my friends...

All of it.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing...just wondering why didn't my parents ever mention any of this to me. Not the town or the school, or even the kind of person I was..."

"They may have their reasons..."

"..."

"But I get the feeling that those reasons may not have been good."

"Doctor should I ask them about XX town and my past...?"

"I would advice you against it. If they have managed to hide your past for so long, they must be having some reasons. And you diving into it deeper, will be a threat to them in this situation."

"Threat...?"

"Yes, a threat. I mean just think about it. Why would your parents hide your past? If they wanted you to remember everything wouldn't it be better for them to bring up things from your past so that they can trigger back your memories?"

My brows furrowed in confusion.

"But then why would they do that? They have always wanted me to remember it all, right? I mean that is the reason why they have spent so much money on my treatment!"

"I Don't know about that but there is something I feel like you must know avout your parents..."

"What...?"

"When you had first came here for treatment. I had suggested them to bring you things from your past or make you speak with people from your old school but they were strongly against it."

"Huh? But why so?"

"They gave the reason that they were protecting you, that they didn't want to get involved with anyone from that town as they didn't know who was to be trusted, until the police caught the culprit".

"Hmm...that makes sense. But why would you say that they were-"

"I can't explain what I am not aware of, myself. It is just the vibe they gave of, or the way they treated you, or even the way they approached the whole process of treatment- I could feel that they are not very good people.".

"Huh? How can you say that Doctor?!"

"Well, let me ask you this Lisha. Do you think your parents are good people? Don't judge them as your parents but as people and human beings. Do you think that they have your best intentions on their mind? Do you think that they actually care about you?"

"Of course they-" I pause before completing the sentence.

A marriage I don't want.

With a man I don't even know.

Just selling me off to someone to escape debt...

Come to think of it...Did they ever ask what I want.

What I like?

Whom I love?

I can't even think of a single instance...

"From my years of experience, I have learnt to identify people very well. You see the human mind is a dangerous thing, its unpredictable. Humans are unpredictable. The man who looks quiet and docile, may end up killing another person, while the feared criminal might end up saving a life. What we see might not always be the truth..."

"I don't know...I just don't know anything." I shook my head in despair.

The reality I believed in, the life I lived...

It was all falling apart.

All that was left was the suffocating fear of losing everything I had held dear, my faith, myself and the last bit of my sanity.

"Have some water" Dr Kim hands me a glass.

I take the glass from her in a dazed state, and gulp down the water. My throat was parched without even realising. I drank the full glass of water in one go.

"You know, it might not make sense now but someday everything will fall into uts place" Dr Susan says.

"..."

"Now, you should just go home and rest up. Don't think of anything else today! Just go back and take rest!"

I give her a small nod of agreement.

When I reached home, it was evening already.

"You're late...What happened?" My mother who was sitting in the dining room asks.

"Uh that's..." I hesitate.

My mother looks at me confused.

"It's just that I was experiencing the headaches back again...So Dr Kim gave me some medicines, that made me fall asleep. She wanted to ensure my reaction to them so I had stayed."

"Oh...okay. But next time, avoid sleeping at strange places, even if the doctor tells you to do that. How are you feeling now?"

"I'm better..."

"Good to hear that" she smiles faintly.

"..."

"Your father went out for an important errand, I'm glad that you came back. I'm scared to be alone in this house..."

"Scared? But why? This is such a good neighborhood with hardly any crimes at all"

My mother doesn't reply. She sits at the dining table, resting her chin over her hands. Her brown hair flows in the soft breeze that enters through the window.

I walk towards the table and sit down on a chair beside hers.

"What happened? are you hungry?" She asks.

I recall Dr Kim's words.

"Well, let me ask you this Lisha. Do you think your parents are good people? Don't judge them as your parents but as people and human beings. Do you think that they have your best intentions on their mind? Do you think that they actually care about you?"

I don't know about my father but my mother does care about me. She is a weak woman just like myself, she is fearful and timid that is why she listens to my dad.

Maybe if it's her then I can...

"Mom can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember how I used to be a vocalist with Ray and the others?"

"Yes, I do!! Did you finally remember your past???"

"Uh no...Just a few bits of it."

I decide to just make up a lie instead of telling her about Ray.

"Still that is a big deal!! I mean you couldn't even remember us properly, when you had lost your memories. It was so difficult for your father and me! The treatment alone cost us fortune! We also had to move in fear of you getting attached again!"

"I see...So what happened to my friends and the band? I'm surprised they haven't contacted me for years".

"Well that's expected, considering the accident that took place in that town..."

"Huh???"

"There was a huge fire which had killed many people in that town".